"Dearest Elise,
You can call me Finn or Finnegan. I go by either. Sometimes it's just easier to say Finn is all. I hope that our parents like each other too. I will talk to them this weekend about meeting your mom. Of course, I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I have so much I want to tell you, and now that I know you want to know, I don't know where to start. I know this might seem weird, since we've been spending a lot of time lately, but I went through some stuff I inherited from my grandmother, and I've had a lot on my mind. I'm a little preoccupied with it, but I hope you know that I love that I can call you my girlfriend.
I'm not really used to talking about myself with anyone. Weston hasn't even been to my house. I might not say a whole lot sometimes, but I really like you. I promise that I'll try to open up to you, but please be patient.
And I want to know more about you too. I think about you a lot. I know you like to read, but I don't know what you read. I know you study a lot and that you're smart, but I don't know what else you like to do. Tell me your story. And I'll tell you mine.
Yours,
Finn"
Elise read Finnegan's note in class. She started sitting in the back so, no one could read over her shoulder. He was so mysterious, but now he was hers. Mo Cooshla! She wanted to ask him so many things, but he asked her to be patient and he would tell her.
He said wasn't used to talking about himself, but he talked to her. Truthfully, she was glad that he wanted to slow down. She was glad he wasn't like other boys who only thought of carnal things and bragging about their exploits. Finnegan was a gentleman, and deeply thoughtful. He thought about so many things she never even considered. Until she actually talked to him, she only thought about doing well in school, reading her romance novels, and playing M*A*S*H* with Cheyanne*.
Now, Cheyanne wasn't her friend anymore, Ashley and Kimber were possibly not her friends either. She had Finnegan.
She also had a job, and almost had a car. She decided that maybe she needed to take this circumstance with Finnegan being preoccupied to preoccupy herself.
The day dragged on, and she didn't know how to start her note. She waited for Finnegan at her locker before lunch, but he didn't show up. After about five minutes, she just headed to the cafeteria on her own. It was weird how he was so devoted to her one day, then suddenly distant the next. She tried not to take it personally. After reading his note, it was clear he had a lot on his mind. Especially with the way he hugged her this morning before giving her the notebook, before class. It was so intimate, but serious. Like he wanted to say more, but all he could do was hold her. She hoped he would hug her more, like that, but she also hoped she would be able to understand what he was thinking when he did it. She was closer to him, but he was more a mystery now than he ever was.
She saw him standing, staring down a hallway, looking perplexed and solemn on her way to the cafeteria.
When she asked if he was alright, he told her about Ashley, which Elise had suspected, but she was surprised that he was so worried about it. She told him she wouldn't go to the sleepover. He seemed to feel better, but she didn't know what to say other than that.
Kimber and Ashley weren't at lunch. The atmosphere had changed. It was like the sky before a storm when the clouds gradually start darkening. She didn't know if she should be really worried, or how she would prepare if she allowed herself to panic. She wished she knew what questions to ask or who to ask. Finnegan might not even know, but she couldn't bother him with it. She tried to focus on keeping herself calm.
By the end of the day, the tension was mostly gone. She had held his hand every chance she had gotten in the hallway, and when the last bell rang, they almost skipped to his car.
He put her bag in the backseat, and when he opened her door, he suavely held out his hand and called her, "Milady." That made her blush because she already saw him a a fairy tale prince. Now that she was his girlfriend, she felt more comfortable with him. As they rode in the car, she jokingly asked if she should call him 'Milord'. Most couples called each other cutesy names, but though 'Milord' was different, it would be too formal, and it was too archaic to feel natural. She had thought before that she'd like to call him 'Darling' or something, but that was pretty old-fashioned too.
He suggested some Gaelic names, explaining about his family history from Ireland. She couldn't really remember all of them, but one sounded cute. Mo Cooshla, which translates to something like 'My Darling'. It was perfect, and it fit them.
They went into his house and found his parents in the living room acting really weird. She didn't know what they had been doing before they walked in, but it seemed suspicious. Then, they made an excuse and hurried off to their room. Finnegan rolled his eyes at them. He did warn her that they were weird, after all.
Finnegan went to his room before they started on their project, but while he was gone, Elise took out the notebook and wrote a quick note to him. She didn't have much to say anyway, but she wanted to give it back to him today before he took her home. When he came back, she put it away.
They worked through the project quickly enough and finished the rest of their Science assignments. Finnegan seemed like he was rushing through it, but she wanted to be sure they thoroughly checked everything. She read his essay slowly, partly because she was really enjoying it, and partly because he was being quiet so she thought he was thinking of something to say. It turned out, he was waiting for her to be done so he could show her something. She had forgotten he mentioned it before because they caught his parents in the living room.
He went to his room to get a flashlight. While he was gone, she added something to her note to him and put it in his bag. If he wasn't going to say much to her in person, he might say more in writing. She barely had time to zip it up before he got back.
He took her out through the back yard, and she finally got a chance to ask about the mysterious shed, but he was still pretty vague about it. He just told her he would eventually show her. Whatever it was, it was special.
They went into the woods, and a clearing opened up. He explained that he came her to think sometimes. Someone had taken great care to make this spot because there was a ring of rocks in the center and Elise felt calm and clear-headed. It was as if they were standing in a bubble, a bubble in the forest where nothing could hurt them. This was a nice spot to think, and she wondered if she could find a spot like this for herself and make her own bubble. Though she didn't spend much time outside, she had wandered around her property once or twice while she daydreamed of Finnegan.
This wasn't what he wanted to show her though. They walked deeper into the woods along an unmarked trail that was hardly a trail at all. The sky was a cornflower blue; still light, but dim. He brought her to another clearing, smaller than the first, but also special. He must have made himself somewhere that was just for him, since he explained that he shared the other clearing with his parents.
She heard a trickling sound. He told her it was because of a creek at the foot of a steep hill on the other side of a large tree. The tree was laying over on it's side, and it's massive roots were a vertical sentinel at its base. The limbs had been removed, probably to clear more space and to make it safer to walk along the trunk. She went over to it. She suddenly realized they were alone in the woods, and she wondered if he would kiss her. She scooted herself onto the tree and invited him to come next to her. He came, but he was watching her reactions. He was opening up to her just a little, but still on his guard.
He talked about the forest. She loved watching him talk about it. It was loving, and honest, and respectful. He closed his eyes as he talked. His lashes were long.
"Everything in the forest is connected and communicating. And when you sit still long enough, you become part of it."
When he said this, she decided that she should try to feel the forest the way he did. This was his secret place, and this moment was significant somehow. She closed her eyes to see what he meant.
She listened. The sounds of the forest were suddenly louder. He took her hands in his, holding them flat against his palms. She opened one eye to see what he was doing, but his eyes were still closed and she felt the significant moment hadn't passed yet. She closed her eyes again and breathed in and out slowly and deliberately, following his lead. The forest was loud again, but she tried to distinguish them from each other. A breeze kissed her skin and shook the trees around her. She could almost hear how the breeze was moving, swirling past this tree or that, over and under, down and through, and away. Squirrels kicked the leaves on the ground as they chased each other and chittered up a tree. The creek trickled on like a music. Birds called to each other as they settled for the evening.
Finnegan's hands were hot and cool at the same time. Turning her attention to her hands, she felt a rush on her next inhale, and her exhale drew her face upward as if her body was rooted and reaching upward to fill the space between the ground and the sky. As she stood there in the forest, she felt the forest in her. The trees were her kin, the rocks were her ancestors, and the creatures were familiar friends.
Finnegan moved his hands away from hers slightly, and she slowly returned to being Elise.
He told her it was time to go, and he called her 'Mo Cooshla' for the first time. It sounded melodic and perfect. As he led her out of the clearing, she was trying to process what she had felt. She made him pause so she could thank him for doing this for her. She finally understood. She wanted to ask him so many questions, but she would wait for him. If he opened up this way, she knew why he couldn't just tell her. He had to show her. She had to experience him. He wasn't a book. He was deep. He didn't have a beginning, middle, and end. He was immeasurable.
...
We went back to the house, and dinner was ready. His parents didn't seem the least concerned that we were off in the woods alone.
His mom asked them, "We saw your project in the living room. It turned out pretty good."
"Did Finn show you the woods?" his dad asked me.
"Yes, he did," I answered. "He said you all share the space. What do you do out there?" I ventured.
"Oh, he didn't tell you?" his parents exchanged glances with each other and Finnegan. "Well, we have gatherings sometimes, and we go out there for... group celebrations," his mom tried to explain.
"Yeah, that's good," his dad chimed in.
"It's so peaceful out there," I mused. I was remembering how quiet it seemed, and how easy it was to be still in those clearings. They were all watching me, and I became self-conscious. I awkwardly began moving the food around my plate with my fork.
"So, Mom. Dad." Finnegan graciously filled the silence. Placing his elbows on the table and lacing his hands together, he said "I guess I haven't actually told you yet, but I asked Elise to be my girlfriend." I blushed. That certainly wasn't what I expected him to say, but I guess it would have to be brought up sooner or later.
"Oh!" They both exclaimed. "Well, it's about time. You guys are awfully cute the way you get nervous around each other still."
"Mom!"
"No, no. Enjoy it. Those little butterflies are lovely." They were both smiling like fools, while I blushed and Finnegan buried his head in his hands.
"Well, what I really wanted to bring up was that Elise's mom wants to meet you if she continues to see me. Can you please try not to be weird?"
"What?" His parents looked at us, then at each other, incredulously. His mom placed her hand dramatically on her chest, letting her mouth fall open. "Us? Weird?"
His dad looked at his wife with feigned confusion. "That's so unlike us. When have we ever been weird?" He posed the question to his wife.
During this little melodrama, Finnegan sighed deeply, letting his eyes loll over to Elise, he mouthed "I'm sorry."
His parents broke out into laughter and finally commented, "Of course, we'd be thrilled to meet your mother, Elise. Why don't you have her give me a call, and we'll schedule a time to get together." His mom was smiling genuinely as she said this. I tried to detect any sarcasm, but his dad was smiling too. They must have fun like this with Finnegan all the time. No wonder he felt like he had to warn me.
"Ok," I told them. I'll tell her tomorrow."
"Ok, well, Mom and Dad, I'm going to take Elise back home now. Thanks for dinner." Finnegan rose from the table, taking my plate and his to the kitchen.
"Yes, thank you. I better go get my stuff." I stood to go to the living room.
"You're very welcome, Elise. It appears as though we will be seeing more of you. Have a good night." His parents brought their plates to the kitchen as well.
When Elise had left the kitchen and was out of earshot, Finnegan's mom leaned in and whispered to him, "I like her." His dad leaned in on the other side to add, "Me too." Finnegan was grinning as he grabbed his keys and held the front door open for Elise.
*For anyone unfamiliar with the game M*A*S*H*, it is a game schoolgirls play where they make several lists of three (Where you'll live, Who you'll marry, What car you'll drive, How many kids you'll have, What job you'll have, etc.) They might write all favorable or unfavorable, or a combination of outcomes. Usually, they would write the names of boys from school under "Marry." Then, they would make tick marks until their friend tells them to stop, and count the marks. Then, counting to that number and going through the lists, they would cross off the option on that number until each category only has one option. The results are a silly "prediction" of your future.