Things started when I was sitting at a computer when I was still in high school even though I was 18. I stayed behind in the 8th grade to make sure that I was ready to go to High school. In a way you can say I went to high school on my time and not on the systems time. That would be the start of the times that I was doing things for myself, but I am getting ahead of myself I need to get back to how things really started out. I was in my senior year of high school and was sitting at a computer when I found out for the first time about Trans people. I was not sure that there was anything outside of cross-dressing for anyone like me. I was sitting there and reading about the things that can be done to make you more and more female. I was entranced and was thinking that should happen to me. I was then reading more erotic books and looking at more porn about Trans people. I was then thinking that I would like to become a woman I felt wrong thinking that way and then started to look for other ways to make things better. I chose to hide it and even the budding feelings about guys even. I was shocked the first time I felt like that about a friend. I knew I was not gay, and I knew I loved girls just as much. I found someone that I thought was the one and she did make me forget about how I was starting to feel. We dated for a bit and I lost my virginity to her that night was not that magical we just did it in the back seat of my car. I would tell you about it, but I do not even think it lasted more than a minute. We dated all through my school year she was 2 years older than me. I took her to prom and did the cliché of asking her hand on the dance floor.
After school we got married and things seemed good for a short while and then we started to drift apart. She started to cheat on me plus we found out I was infertile. I then went and chose to give a guy a shot and he was magical compared to her. He was a friend of mine and I was starting to gain feeling for him and did not want to admit it at first. Time went by and we ended up having to share a room on a trip once and I admit to him that I was wondering if I was able to enjoy being with men. I then told him I was even starting to develop feelings for him, and it scared me. I then asked him what I should do. I told him the very first sexual thing that was done to me was a guy went down on me once when I was a kid. He asked me if I enjoyed it and I said I did but never had feelings for a man before I was older. He told me that that is normal, and he told me that I should let him try something and if I enjoy it, we will see how things go. He started with kissing me and I must say I was never kissed like that before, his mouth and tongue was wonderful I felt more girly then I have ever felt and that was a feeling that I was never able to embrace. Now here I was enjoying a feeling that I have never been able to enjoy. I was then and there sold I wanted to go through with this and told him I was willing to see where things went. He slowly pushed me down and started to neck me and I have to say that was wonderful. I was really getting into it when he did something I did not expect him to do because I knew he was gay and that was starting to go after my nipples first he started to rub them over my shirt and then lifted my shirt. Then he pulled my shirt off and started to kiss his way down my chest and latched onto my nipple that was the first time anyone has licked or sucked my nipple and that was a wonderful feeling. I then really started to feel aroused and was really starting to enjoy the feelings he was showing me. He then started to touch my lower abdomen and slowly inched his way into my pants all the while looking me in the eyes, and I was really enjoying it. I was feeling wanted and was feeling more and more feminine even though I was totally a male. I was really enjoying myself and encouraged him more. I was then slowly stripped more and more. He removed my pants and kissed and licked his way down more. He got to my naval and then he licked and kissed it for a small amount of time. He then worked his way down to my penis. The first touch of his mouth on my penis was more then I was ever dreaming it could be. It took him over an hour to make me cum, but I have to say it was more than I could ever believe possible. I was so enjoying it that I was shocked when I said. "I love you Johnny I love you more then I knew." I was more than shocked when he looked at me and smiled. I told him I was not ready to have my ass taken for the first time but the next day that went out of the window. I was wowed beyond belief. I could never be able to keep it up to fuck a guy but could for girls. I was even wowed that I was able enjoy things as much as I did.
Things were good for a while I was with him for about a year and a half. I enjoyed things I never would have enjoyed without him and I was in love with him more than ever before. I even told him that I wanted to be a woman and he said he is not happy by the choice but was going to support me at the same time. I then had to leave him to go on with my life because I was stuck in a loop. I figured out that I was going nowhere in life. I was going to try to get back with him, but he moved on fast and he also moved to someone else. I then went back to dating girls. I ended up with a couple of lesbians and a Trans woman who dates girls and another Trans. I did not last long with any of them and now I am single. Now that we are caught up to the times let us move on with the story. I am now sitting there in a room wondering what I am going to do I want to live full time and I was told also that if I went to full time I can even get my hormones free also. I am having trouble taking the steps to move on with my life the way it should be. I am looking at the pile of my clothing that I have and saying this and that can be used female clothing and what cannot. Then I chicken out of getting rid of them again. Then I put them away. One day I am sitting in a bar and a beautiful woman walks up to me and says that she can tell I am like her. That was an odd thing to hear then she asked me if she could sit down with me.
"So how do you think we are just alike?" I asked her before telling her "Go ahead and sit down I would love to hear this." She took her seat and a waitress came up and took her order she said that she wanted some fruity little drink that I have never heard of and thanked her with a smile. Once that was done, she looked at me and said. "Look the thing is I can see that your soul is that of a woman. Not only is that soul that of a woman but that of a witch." Talk about shock I looked at her with disbelief. "What do you mean? How is my soul that of a witch or even that of a woman for that matter?" She just kept smiling and shook her head. "How can you not see that your soul is that of a woman? I mean you do sit there and struggle between that of switching to living life as that of a woman are you not?" Now that one shocked me. "How do you know that?" It did not hit me at that moment that I just gave her the truth. "Wow, you didn't even try to lie about it did you? You just so happen to let it slip in the flustered state that you are in." I quickly looked around in shock and fear that I said that and noticed two things not only was no one looking at us but to top it off they were avoiding us as if we had a repelling wall around us that kept things and people from coming near us. The only time anyone or anything comes near us was that cute waitress that took our orders and the odd part is that she never asked for our tab info or any pay. I could not believe this not only did I find out that someone knows my secret but also that magic is real. Then she shocked me more than anything and it was a shock that I am happy to this day that it happened. She told me. "You can become powerful beyond belief all you have to do is give up your life as a male and except your life as a woman. Then you summon a Demon and make a pact, once that is done you will change, and I mean really change. You will transform into that of a real woman your life as a male could never be again if you did it. You will never be able to go back. You will then be reborn to that of a female, not only that of a woman but a woman magical being you may even take on a new race it's not un-heard of for people to change into demons or devils or part demons those ones take on a totally abnormal look then that of the race that they take on. If you are willing to take the risk and forsake the years you spent as a male and take it on, then I will walk you down the path." I sat there in shock for a bit and not noticing that I was getting drunker and drunker. Before long I was so drunk that I had no presence of mind to turn her down.
We went to my place and she grabbed all the clothing I owned and tossed it into a bag. She then told me to follow her and I did we hopped into a cab and took it to a secluded place. Once we got there, we took my clothing and she told me to gather wood. Drunkenly I complied with her and got a good amount of wood. She then told me to light a fire. That one I was unable to comply with due to my drunken state. She then told me she would do it then and I was shocked that she just pointed said something under her breath and I saw a bolt of light shoot from her finger. Then the fire was lit. Once she saw it was lit, she handed me my clothing and told me to place each peace one by one into the fire. I sat there looking at her in shock. She just sat there waiting on me and waiting for me. Once a while went by, she did not even change her expression. Seeing that she was not joking, I secretly thought about what all this meant I was going to give up on being a man and not only that but give up on my normal life all at once. I took a while and thought about the things that I would miss and thought about what I would not miss. Once that was done, I asked her. "What will happen after I do this will my old identity disappear or be killed what about my new one?" She gave me a confident smile and, did I see a bit of confusion at my question? She then sat there and tried to find the best answer I think and then she shocked me. "For all intense and purposes, you will be dead. You will stop existing as a man and you will possibly no longer even be any type of human. You will be reborn as a magical being and that may even entail you going through life again as a girl that means being born again and all. If that ends up being the case, you may not remember any of the things from your old life. Are you prepared to do that?"
Hearing that I just had to sit there and think some more the fire was dying and all she did is point at the wood that was piled there and spoke another intangible phrase and the wood lifted off the pile and went into the fire to keep it fed. Now that I am soberer, I had to ask. "Did you magic on me to make me more pliable to this whole thing? Is that how we got to this point? I was sitting there and for some reason no one wanted to come near us but also didn't end up with none showing up because the waitress kept the drinks coming without us paying then I must have gotten drunk or something like that." She smirked and said. "No, I didn't charm you or anything like that but I did affect the people around us so that you will be given the chance to hear me out and so you have a chance to hear the truth. I wanted you to have the true life that you are meant to have and should have had. I wouldn't do you any harm because I was shocked by your life of denial and you're neglecting of yourself." That was a shock of a different kind. She almost sounded like she really cared. "Do you know my whole life story or something?" She just smiled and shook her head. I did not know how to take that one. I felt like she must know all about me if she knew as much as she did. "So then tell me. How did you know about how, what and who I am? Most of all, how did you know that I was going through all of that?" At that she just smiled and said. "You will understand all once you do as I told you. We cannot move on with things if you hold onto your male side. I know you had to have already made the choice to go through with it since you have been asking all the questions you have asked. Did you know that I can see you sitting there and thinking you want to do this but how do you get out of doing it to stay in the little life you have built up around yourself?" I was shocked once again and this time I blushed. Stammering I asked. "What will the next step after this and what will defiantly happen to me?" She kept smiling and said. "First I want you to burn your clothing and I will tell you what you want to know. I will tell you this also. You will not miss your old life and you will be happy that you took this step." That did not really set my mind at ease, but I knew that there was not much more that I would need to know. I did not need to really think about it much more than that. I said, "What is the worst that could happen with this. I will not be doing anything I have not been, wanting to do for a while now and most of all if nothing works out, I can make this an opportunity to change my life for myself. I then took out a pair of pants and dropped them into the fire and she smiled and said, "Good just put the rest in and we can move on with things." I then started putting the clothing in one after another and once I put the last thing in she told me to take and put each thing I have in my pockets even the money in the fire and burn it. That one shocked me but then I said. "What the hell," and did it anyways. Once that was all done, she shocked me more by saying, "Ok now that you don't have anything on you, I will take you to a place that you will do the summoning ritual." "So how do you do this ritual? I don't know how to do magic so will it work?" After I said that she just smiled and said, "It will all work out I will help you by supplying the magic power for you to draw apron and you will have you're summon done."
We left the woods and she took out her phone and made a call. "The cab will be here soon, and we are going to go to your place again." Shocked I asked, "Why is my place important? How does it play into it all?" She just chuckled and replied. "It's so that your old dead life ends in a place that people will find out and not be looking for you." "So why is it that I had to burn my id and things like that then?" She just smiles and says," Because without demolishing your old identity you will not be able to take up the new one. I have seen people try it without this step and the demon got pissed saying they didn't give up their old lives to take on the new one, so they don't deserve to live at all and then they were eaten without any remorse." That was the first time a comment that she made truly scared me. I don't want to die because of some stranger but it's obviously a situation that I must do what I am told now because I know she has magic and can probably kill me with it right here right now if she wanted to. "Fine I will listen to your words I don't want to die." With that she smiled and said, "I am happy you see things the way that they are. I don't want you to do anything stupid and be devoured by your demons instead of given your new life." With that we waited for the cab to arrive to take us back to my place. The wait was not long but while I was waiting, I felt that it was a good chance to have her tell me more about this summoning ritual. "So, what should I expect from this ritual and what would the demon be like? I would like to know more about what I am getting myself into since I am willing to and am going to go along with this." With that a frown covered her face for the first time since I met her. "I don't know much about the demon that will be summoned but I can tell you that it will be trying and will possibly scare you to the point of great fear. I also know that there is a chance your house will burn down but since you will be dead you would not care anymore. I know you do not like to think of yourself as dead but that is the truth to be reborn you will have to die first. I know I didn't say anything about that, but you have taken the steps on your own and I didn't have to push you to hard, so I felt you should know about this before it was sprung on you. Now think about how you would like to die since most of the time you have the choice and I felt since you will have time to think that it should be what you think about in the time being. It will be a couple of days before the day and you will not be able to head out. You cannot even tell any friends or family about your death. If you feel that you would like to have it be a suicide, then you can think up the letter and way of death so that it is how you want it to be." With that she just sat there and waited for the cab to show up. I felt like I would like to ask her a few questions but only one was truly stuck in my mind. "Why can't I go out for the next few days?" She smiled again at that and responded. "You will be cleaning your mind body and soul for the demon. You need to be ready to die for one and for two you will be cleansing yourself of your male side. I expect you think you will be just thinking you are going to be just going to do this and be done but you have a lot of studying also you will have to do. I will give you the things to study so you can learn how to do the ritual." That left me with a lot to think about.
The cab showed up soon after that and then we went to my house. On the way she told me. "I will be staying with you to prepare for the ritual and I will do the shopping and heading out for the two of us. I don't want you to do anything that will risk the ritual now that you are going through with it." With that the rest of the ride was in silence and I spent the time pondering what she said to me. I am to die really die not just like she said things will be, but I am also going to be reborn. I wonder if I will have a say on how and what I will be reborn as. I would love to have a chance to pick things out because if I must be choosing how to die and having to die then I want to know more, and I want to have some say in things other than my own death. I took the time to start thinking about my death because what better way to remind yourself of your mortal coil then to ponder your impending death. Plus, a death that you are willing to walk to at this point and hell now I am getting very scared about the possibilities of my doom at the hands of this strange woman and her demon. I do not want to die for good but at the same time it is a chance to take a little charge of my life or death pun intended. I was missing my phone by this point and so I asked her. "Can I borrow your cell phone? I would like to look something up on the internet and you had me burn my phone." With that she got a very thoughtful look on her face. "What would you like to look up? Is it important?" I smiled for the first time since this all began, and I meant the smile even. "Yes, I think it is important. I want to look up different types of death and see what ways sound the best for my death. I would like to find the way that has the less amount of pain and the cleanest ways if possible or even the less painful and most dirty ways if it appeals to me. I may go the suicide rout but may even just go with the rout about accidental death even. Does the type of death have a play in how things are done or the outcome?" Your death does play a role but not as how things turn out just how the timing of things and how things go threw out the ritual. Like let us say you pick a death that takes some time and you can talk and move in the process of the time then you will work on the ritual while you are dying. Let us say you pick a strong poison that will take some time to fully kill you but will paralyze you then you will have to speak the words without being able to move. I will do the moving part for you then and if it is something that will make it impossible to do any of it you will have to do it after you do the other parts of the ritual." With that she handed me her phone with the screen unlocked. I opened up the internet browser and then shut it down and handed it back to her I said, "I already made up my mind I want it to be a self-poisoning with me not able to move or feel but able to speak like you said. I will write a letter after I get home, so you can prepare to send it in the mail I want it timed to be delivered after I have died. I do not want to be stopped at this point. Worse case I am dead and that is that I am not going to lie I have thoughts of death anyways, so I am not against the idea. I require you to get the things and the study materials, so we can do this. I won't answer the phone or door for anyone and the only thing I didn't get rid of is the only copy of my house key I have that I am going to give to you now." I then hand her the key to my place and show her that there are no other things in my pockets and then I stare out of the window. "So, tell me do you own your house, or do you rent I need to know so that I know what to expect over the next few days." I tell her, "I rent but the rent is paid up and I don't have any reason for a person to come over. I will not have to worry about a person interfering with things."