"Taste my skills!"
Anus sprinted towards the battered limousine at the four-way intersection. He probably wanted to use it as an obstacle to slow and separate the zombies. I held back a retort and jogged behind him.
Just as my footfalls followed Anus, his body seized up.
"Hey! What the Hell?" I exclaimed. "Don't you screw with me!"
An unbelievable weight constrained my body. I had trouble moving even my neck, though that didn't stop me from trying. I swerved my head around to keep track of what was going on.
Anus pulsed with static, but this time, a line of faint afterimages formed in front of him. Instead of the thick cloud from his ears like before, lines of indecipherable and ever-changing red text blotted his face. Did this player going to break the game world? Actually, will he reset, or even delete the world? My heart ached from worry.
Luckily, the zombies similarly experienced restrictions like myself. They growled and twisted their heads towards us to no avail.
"This bugged game! What crazy crap are you pulling on me?"
Around the southern stretch of road three houses down, a blue truck turned right into view. It freely barrelled towards us on the clear road. Behind it, zombies spilled out around the corner and some even busted out of the house at the end because of the noise.
"Is this!?" I yelled with all my might. "The fabled ISEKAI!?"
I couldn't stop my lips from quivering in excitement. A flush of relief and joy filled me.
"I knew it! God wouldn't damn me to this abominable world without reason! Ahahahaha! Look out, otherworld! Look out, player! Look out, universe! It's time for ME to shine!"
The truck loudly approached us, not slowing down in the slightest.
"Oh wait! This is going to hurt like Hell! No, wait a moment!"
Completely ignoring me, the truck drifted to its side and slammed into all the zombies. They flew at least 20 feet and left bloody and broken corpses in this residential area.
In horror, I watched the truck block my field of vision. Its unopposed length seemed to slow down, like time stopped. My ears filled with the screaming wheels.
"Ah. Is this what they mean by having your life flash before your eyes?" I wondered. "Can it be quick and painless?"
Shockingly, the pain did not arrive. Actually, neither did the impact. The truck stopped with its right side to us, almost touching Anus. At this time, the unbelievable weight disappeared like a dream and Anus returned to normal.
"Huh? What happened!" he yelled. "Where'd the zombies go?"
We both examined the surprisingly undamaged and clean blue truck. Eye-catching magenta words explained it was a "FoodPlace" truck. Underneath posed a cartoonish mascot in a light magenta mask, deep magenta cape, hard chest guard and hard arm guards over a blue dress shirt, magenta fanny pack, yellow rubber gloves, hard leg guards over matching cargo pants, and yellow rubber boots.
The character's speech bubble proclaimed, "FoodPlace: The best restaurant in an area!"
"Oh, I'd never thought I'd ever see a FoodPlace truck!" Anus excitedly exclaimed. "Does that mean—?"
"I AM FOODPERSON. AND I BRING SUSTENANCE!" thunderously exploded a strong female voice. "Citizens, if you wish to eat another day, get on!"
Anus swiftly retrieved his crossbow, popped open the passenger seat door, and jumped in without hesitation. Inside, a person dressed like the mascot sat at the wheel, with a baseball bat across her lap. I couldn't lie when I thought that the oversized head intimidated me as it stared soullessly.
"Wait, we're leaving behind Randy?" I asked. "Didn't you want to save her?"
"She's a goner. The horde is here. We don't have any time."
Anus moved to the back after disregarding his first mission. I didn't expect him to be so frivolous about somebody he was so gung-ho to save earlier, but then had to check back into reality. He was a player. He had no obligation to help out, and the whole experience was just a game to him. Dying so early wasn't so fun, so he didn't bother trying the impossible.
I glanced back at the wooden house and shook my head. There was no sense in wasting time here, but I regretted leaving behind my long strings, steak knives, pot, toiletries, and radio. It was a decent base. I got on the truck with a heavy heart.
I settled in quickly and the FoodPerson accelerated. I glanced in the rearview mirror. Feral runners chased us. Tough zombies, zombies, zombie children, swimmer zombies, and decayed zombies followed behind. The FoodPerson's loud truck must've attracted their attention in this part of town.
We drove past a few houses and swerved around a damaged car. Past it, I saw the road stop at a grassy field for around two houses until another road split it horizontally. To the edge of the first road on our right, a small cemetery full of zombies noticed us. The ride got bumpy as we passed them. We made it back to the road, although we left a trail of crushed flowers.
In the open field beyond the road and a bit to the right, I saw large patches of black and moving blobs.
"Is that a slime pit?" I asked, while the FoodPerson turned right to leave town.
"What? Where?!"
Anus climbed between us and gazed in awe at different sizes of black blobs moving around huge pools of blackness.
"Awesome!" He laughed. "I wonder if there's good loot in there. I'm finding a lot of firsts so far!"
The truck drove down the road and trees hugged the right of it. The FoodPerson turned right, left, right, and left again to stay on the bending road. Now on a straight path forward and away from the horde, we were safe.
The trees cut off into open fields to our left and right. I could spot more of the forest far off in the distance. Squinting my eyes, I noticed two cabins to our right, separated by quite a distance. In front of us, a large garbage dump fenced off by barbed wire sat on the right of the road.
"Oh! I haven't seen this place either! So cool! Do you think there's good loot there too?"
His eyes shined with excitement as he tapped us on our shoulders.
"Citizen, control yourself," the FoodPerson seriously said. "The Cataclysm brought many dangerous unknowns. There is one thing you can trust in."
"And what would that be?"
"FoodPlace: The best restaurant in an area!" she proudly announced. "Our food contains up to 95% real food. FoodPlace: Edible food is OUR guarantee!"
"Food actually would be nice right now," Anus noted. "I haven't eaten anything since I got here."
"Citizen, with one purchase, I will allow you one complimentary FoodPlace's delicious food™ and a point stamped on the illustrious FoodPlace Loyalty card!"
"Loyalty card?"
"Citizen, surely you are jesting? It is a bright pink loyalty card, and all the points are stamped personally by FoodPerson."
"Sorry, I, uh…" Anus stammered, as sweat covered his brow. "Um, ah… might have lost mine..."
"Hmph! Citizen, you disappoint me by lying. However, I will forgive you if you purchase one right now!"
"Really? Thank you! So, how do I pay?"
A dead silence fell on the conversation. I didn't speak since I reeled from what I saw in the garbage dump.
Flies the size of dogs and wasps the size of arms swarmed the interior. Black rats snuck under metal wreckage. Opossums and raccoons carefully paced around the zombie infestation. It teemed with life.
The entrance had a small house by the front with garbage dumpsters beside it. A few parking spots rested on the other side. In one spot, a flatbed truck in pretty good condition stayed abandoned there.
As the garbage dump grew smaller behind us, I watched what Anus and the FoodPerson would do.
"...With a cash card?"
"Right… I also don't have one of those."
The FoodPerson let out a disappointed sigh.
"Citizen, I permit you to sample one FoodPlace's appropriate snack™. Please retrieve it from the fridge behind my seat."
Anus complied. I saw him pop it open and reveal a cache of snacks in brand-appropriate blue packaging and magenta lettering. He grabbed one and popped it open. Anus bit down on the unidentifiable bar of brown food.
"Mmmh. It's not bad at all!"
I forked out my cash card and asked, "How much to buy one?"
"Good citizen, due to the current crisis, FoodPlace's prices have risen. However, one FoodPlace's appropriate snack™ costs an affordable $1, including taxes! Despite this, citizen, our illustrious FoodPlace Loyalty card is merely 53 cents!"
"Do I also get a sample?"
"Yes, I, FoodPerson, allow all this one time offer! Please swipe your card here and confirm your purchase."
The FoodPerson pointed to a tablet secured above the radio. The POS system was surprisingly simple to use, though its blue and magenta colors started to annoy me from its excessive use by FoodPlace. I scanned my card and my balance dropped to $170.
"Citizen, please retrieve your purchases. Here is your FoodPlace Loyalty card and I have already added your point."
While I occupied myself, the FoodPerson professionally offered me to take it. I slipped out of my seat and past Anus to grab my goods and store them. For now, I had some food and a good relationship with someone who could bring me to safety at any time.
Though, Anus stole my passenger seat and I had to wait in the back, unsecured for the duration of our ride...