'Marriage ?', I asked shocked she was so involved with someone to contemplate it. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but she was always careful, dainty. I never thought in that direction about her. Why would I? She left me.
'Well, sort of. I think so', she blushed.
'Huh? I don't get it. Either you are getting married or you not', I questioned the fact.
'He hasn't proposed yet', she mumbled.
'Then how can you be sure he is going to', I asked astonished. Trust my Sister to plan names of her children even before the marriage proposal.
'I'm 100% sure he is going to propose and soon', she exaggerated stubbornly.
'Whatever you say', I mumbled eating my sandwich.
I tried to think of some thing to divert our current discussion. I don't want to be the one to lift the veil from her eyes.
'How did you know my number?', I asked recalling the call yesterday.
'Jack hired a PI', she replied.
'PI? As in Detective? Does this guy follow me or something? You had me followed? Wait,Who is jack?' , for that matter I dint know what happened to her after she left us.
'My boyfriend and no I haven't done anything like that. It's just to learn your number', she said faster as if to end the discussion.
'When am I going to meet him?'
'Umm, it's just that no one knows we are seeing each other. We want to keep it a secret for awhile. You know, getting to know each other, being cosy', she said wiggling her eyebrows.
'Ok. It's your life. As Long as you are safe', I said not mulling over my sisters coziness with her Boyfriend.
I wondered what happened to her after she left us.
'What were you doing with yourself this 6 years? Where have you been?'
'I completed my degree. Got a job. Nothing much. There were ups and downs in the beginning but now I'm in a good place' , she smiled her Ray of sunshine smile.
It's as vague as anything she can say. Not like her, but I let it rest for now. I don't want to spoil her mood yet again. There is time for interrogation later. Chatting with her like this made me realise how much I missed her. I buried myself in anger against her all this time that I dint realise missing our late night chats.
'I missed you', I said.
'I missed you too', she added tearfully.
There was a lulling silence in our conversation which helped to clear my thoughts somewhat. Though I'm not sure about my emotions. Should I be happy that I met her? Or sad that we lost 6 years? Or guilt and remorse for not making an effort to know what's happening her. Guilt won at the end. Thinking about past I asked suddenly, 'why did she let you go? Why not stop it? Obviously you were a source of income for her.'
The look of guilt intensified on her face. She looked down at her hands and said, 'she tried'.
'Tried? How?'
'She threatened me with you', she said quietly.
'Ya, I know. Kidnapping and all you said before'
'No. That was to stop me from taking you, not from me leaving'
I thought it for a moment and asked, 'what did she threatened You with?'
'Giving you to bob', she stuttered slowly.
I couldn't stop from puking this time. I rushed to the washroom which was thankfully next to our booth and puked my guts or what was left of that sandwich. I should have left the eating after we cleared the air. Washing my hands and face I came out of washroom and sat on my chair feeling no longer hungry.
This explains the look of guilt she wore since the beginning of the conversation. Here I thought.. I don't know what anymore.
'I was over my head. First bob and then mom started threatening me with you and I had enough. Why should I take that? Why should you remain ignorant? I couldn't do that anymore. She thought I won't leave you. I thought of staying too. But the thought of another minute in that 'situation' suffocated me', she started explaining or should I say talking about her frustrations?
'To leave me to my fate, knowing what will happen to me is correct?', I asked carefully anger building inside me.
'Nothing happened to you', she whined. She really made a whining noise.
'That's because I protected myself', I shouted. I looked around us to see no one heard. It's like taking one step forward only to drag two steps back. We were making progress only to start where it began, her feeling guilty and me angry at her.
We sat there staring at each other, each of us lost in our thoughts. I tried to control my anger. God knows nothing comes out of it when I loose it.
I shouldn't put blame on her, who knew what I would have done in her situation. Maybe with time we could let go of past. At present it's too fresh in my mind to think. Too raw.