Quetz jolted to wakefulness, his tail twitched in midair from the dreams, slowly lowering as his mind started to rationalize. It's just a dream, he thought to himself, closing his amber eyes and wiped the sweats on his forehead. Next to him, or rather lying on his outstretched arm, Haru was still sleeping quietly, whimpering and churning in his slumber as he felt the white haired male sudden motions. The older male smiled, then let out a sigh of relief, leaning over to press a kiss onto the boy's forehead, making him smile in his sleep, burying his face into his companion's chest. So adorable, so serene, so…peaceful, Quetz thought, laying his head back onto the pillow, feeling so much better from earlier this morning, now that he's allowed to rest. Outside the sun was still shining, but judging on the angle and intensity of the light warming his back through the window, it must be late afternoon by now.
He lied there with his young companion, rubbing the teen's back to sooth his sleep, letting his mind wonder what everyone's doing outside right now. Yet despite his best attempt to calm his mind, Quetz couldn't shake off the haunting feelings brought fort by the horrific visions in his feverish dreams. Wrapping his arms around Haru's lithe body, the white haired man again tried to ease his mind, yet the feelings persisted. Anxiousness and fear gnawed his heart and mind as every time he closed his eyes, the horrid visions returned, each time more vivid than before, filling with fear that any moment now, Haru'd disappear before his eye, replaced by the bloodied body of a loved one that he's failed to protect. He shivered from the mere thought, unconsciously pulling the boy closer to him, causing to let another muffled whimper.
It's not…real, he thought, trying to convince his mind of the reality in front of him, Haru's still here, he's safe. Letting out a quiet sigh, Quetz stretched his legs and tail to the furthest extend the small confinement of his chamber would allow, careful to not wake the teen. A loud rumble caused his ears, followed by the exhausting and nauseating feeling of hunger setting in, bringing his body back down to the bed. He's barely eaten anything, his ailing condition in the morning prevented him from eating anything without puking it out, even a mere gulf of milk would sent him to his knees. Yet as he held his stomach, feeling its rumbling getting louder and louder, the hunger's gnawing sensation became unbearable. He tried to sit up, churning slowly, carefully, laying Haru's head onto the pillow without waking the boy, but only success in doing so.
- Keto-san? - The white haired teen asked as he lifted his head, rubbing his sleepy violet eyes. - What's wrong?
- Ah…it's nothing. - The older male smiled awkwardly, yet the rumblings from his stomach betrayed him, causing his face to shift into a deep shade of red as he lowered his head in embarrassment.
- Ah…are you hungry? - Haru asked, giggling as the man's expression and silence nodding, before rubbing the older male's silvery white hair and sitting up. - Then let's get lunch for you, is that fine?
Quetz didn't reply, he simply nodded again, keeping his head low as he heard the boy giggling again. Haru took the man by his hand, slowly leading him out of the small room, through the main sleeping chamber and to the bathroom. He smiled as he watched the older male has recovered some of his strength, his movements were a bit still sluggish, but were nowhere as weak and slow as they were in the morning.
- Are you feeling better now? - He asked, rubbing the back of Quetz's hand.
- I do now. - The man smiled, shaking his head furiously, sending droplets of water flying everywhere.
- Wet! - Haru shrieked playfully, raising his arms to shield his face as he backed off a few steps, colliding with Lucious coming in from the other side, still in his casual clothing. - Ah! Rushi-san! - The boy jumped, clumsily adjusting himself. - I-I was just…helping Keto-san washing up.
To his surprise, Lucious smiled, but it was not the usual warm smile that he usually uses to address the white haired boy. There was a certain hint of…unease to it, Haru could tell, hurt even, it wasn't anger per se, but sadness, faint yet clear. The boy quickly turned his gaze away and backed off for the black haired Anacondrai to address his father, hiding his fingers twisting against each others behind his back from a very peculiar feeling. Lucious is Quetz's son, the reminder that he imposed to himself every time he felt a certain aura of threatening from the man has some how been…warped. Now that he's no longer afraid of the black haired male, the teen felt envious, for lack of a better word.
It's the son of the man whom he loved, the white haired boy thought, or rather he couldn't stop thinking about it. He glanced at the two Anacondrai, once again was talking in their language, they way they talked so formally sent shiver down the boy's spines. It's his son, the thought echoed in his mind as he stared at them, there's no denying it, except for the hair and the lacking of the long ears, Lucious was a spitting image of Quetz, with the same demeanor and temper to add. But then…does it also mean that the white haired man had a wife, if so, what does it make Haru? A passing fancy?
- Lord Haru, is something wrong? - Lucious bent down, frowning as he looked at the teen with concerned golden eyes.
- N-no, it's nothing. - Haru shook his head, both from the guilt earlier, and from this new fear that's growing inside him.
- My lord, - The black haired male slowly got onto one knee, much to Haru's and Quetz's surprise. - please don't mind about how I reacted to what your sister's said earlier. I'm just… - He paused and lowered his head, eyes twitching to gather his thought before continuing: - I just…not used to people asking about that.
- But it's true, isn't it? - The question came without his control. - Keto-san did have a wife, didn't he?
Horror, anguish, anger and sorrow, all of them and more, washed over Lucious' face as he suddenly leaned backward. His mouth slightly parted as he slowly stood up, letting out short, trembling breaths choked with emotions, Haru could tell the black haired man wanted to scream, but he couldn't, not in front of Haru, who has only now realized how cataclysmic his actually was. The man's fists were tightened and trembling, so much so that droplets of blood dripped down to the carpet from his claws digging into his pawn. Snapping his head toward Quetz to see his father reaching out to comfort him for just a moment, Lucious dashed out of the carriage, the armored rattled as it expanded from the gem to cover him in.
In a blink of an eye, Lucious was gone, the confused noises coming from the entourage outside marked his departure, leaving the children behind with the older Anacondrai. Haru stood there, staring at where the man's stood, hands coiled into fist, trembling in fear and anxiety, but not from how Lucious and Quetz would react, no, far from it. He was afraid of the answer they'd give, a selfish, horrible kind of fear born not from knowing about the danger for one's self, but from greed, jealousy and enviousness. What if it was true? What if Quetz's son true does or did have a mother? What if Quetz had a wife? What would it make him then?
- Haru…
- No…!
The white haired boy quietly shrieked, backing away as he heard the man's voice coming closer and feeling his hand reaching out. He turned around, through teary, panicked and fearful eyes, he thought he saw the same doubt and anger that he saw in the eyes of every villagers who've mistreated him. He's expected Quetz to be frowning disapprovingly, angrily even, holding him in place to lecture him, berate him about what he did.
But no.
Quetz just…stood there, mid action, outstretched arms reaching out slowly lowered as he took a step back. His sorrowfulness brushed against Haru's being, filling him with regret. Gods, what has he done? The boy ran toward his Anacondrai, wrapping his arms around the man's back and burying his face into the his torso to let out the muffled cries of regret, only now has he only realized how cataclysmic his question was. He felt the white haired man slowly getting onto one knee, roughed yet gentle hands gently caressing him, comforting him, along with another set of feminine hands. His sister's.
- I'm…sorry… - Haru mumbled between each sniffle.
- Shh…it's not your fault. - Mitsuki said soothingly, hands joining with Quetz's to comfort her brother, before turning her eyes to the man.
He was looking at her, but not with anger, as she's expected, just a deep sense of…sorrow. There's a meaning conveyed by those sad amber eyes, a plead for her, for them, to not ask him about it, as if talking about it would shatter what little left of his sanity just from grief alone. A feeling that the girl understood far too well to ignore.
***
He was quiet for the entirety of the trek, as did Quetz on their walk to find Lucious at the forested foothills, just a few miles ahead of the main column. They've traveled alone, as ordered by the white haired man, knowing full well that it was something that they must do by themselves. Yet standing here, just outside the reaches of the branches' shadows, Haru could see anxiety and self doubt in every of Quetz's action. The Anacondrai's tail swayed from side to side slowly under the deep blue satin cloak, yet its movements were rigid, prone to stopping mid action or twitching randomly on the snow. Even his facial expression showed the same uneasiness that plagued his mind, frowning as he stared blankly into the spaces between the trees, half wanting to enter, the other half begging for him to leave it. Just like Haru was when he and Loi were at the entrance of the Forbidden Forest.
- Keto-san… - The boy quietly called out, gloved hands reaching out to hold Quetz's bared one, even through the thick furred gloves, his skin was still cold to the touch.
- It's not your fault. - The older male replied softly, turning his amber eyes down, still drowned in sorrow and anxiety. He slowly knelt to one knee, releasing his hand from the boy's shivering ones to blow onto them, rubbing them together to warm them up, before cupping the teen's exposed cheeks tenderly. - It's not your fault. - He repeated. - But please, promise me you won't ask about it again, Lucious can't take it…neither can I.
- But…it's true, isn't it? - Haru felt his face warmed, his violet eyes burned with emotions despite his best attempt at keeping them in. - There was someone…before me.
- You're the only one I love now. - The man quietly said, lifting the boy's chin and pressed his cold lips against the boy's eyes. - Just please…don't.
He wanted to argue, but instinct, perhaps his love for Quetz, prevented him, telling Haru that something is better left unanswered. Haru simply nodded, warranting a smile of relief from Quetz, before wiping his eyes and followed the man into the sparse tree lines. It's unlike the Forbidden Forest, the paths were clear, light illuminated their every step and everywhere he looked, he saw life in actions, animals running up and down trees, digging under the snows or simply stood watch as they walked pass them, before leisurely walking away. It was peaceful, even relaxing, yet tried as he did, Haru couldn't shake off the feeling of…oddness, for lack of a better word, that he felt. It felt somewhat like what he felt in that dark, claustrophobic space that reeked of death of that dreadful place, but not as strong, at first. Every now and then, they'd come across a boulder covered in glyphs and symbols that looked just like those he's seen in and around their village.
- We're getting close. - Quetz said, brushing his hand on the surface of one of the glyph-covered boulders.
- How do you know? - Haru asked curiously, eyes fixated on the runes that seemed to be starting to glow.
- You feel it too, don't you? - The older male replied, standing up straight and looked deep into the forest, seemingly fixed onto nothing at all.
He wasn't wrong, Haru could feel it, the phantom sensation of the invisible currents brushing against him but not quite. The tingling sensation got stronger as Quetz led them through the forest in a pace that the white haired boy could easily catch up with, it felt so rampant, conflicted and confused, as if Haru was feeling the emotions of someone made manifest. Not just anyone's emotions, but Lucious', the teen thought to himself, realizing that as they got closer and closer to the source, the drifting aura not only got stronger, but also became…distinct, as if he was right in front of them, but not quite.
They stopped at the edge of a small clearing, where six smooth pillars of black stone covered in glyphs were set in the formation of a circle preventing the dirt and roots to defile the floor of marvelous marble inside. Intricately designed and drawn rings of magic symbols were set inside one another, creating a medallion of harmoniously contradicting color scheme with a six-pointed star at the middle, each pointing at the space between the pillars. The two of them stood at the edge of the clearing, just shy of the boundary set by the stone pillars, watching as Lucious meditated, his feeling swirled around, mixed with the saturating magic energy of the circle.
The younger Anacondrai floated mid-air, sitting cross-legged with his back turned toward the two of them, his long black tail swayed gently, trailing ghostly contrails of orange and gold magic with every movement. He's removed his armor, or maybe it's tucked nicely back into his gem bracelet, Haru couldn't tell, as Lucious' arms were hidden in front of him, having chose to wear his casual clothing for meditation. As if sensing the two, the black haired Anacondrai slowly reached his legs down, immediately the atmosphere changed rapidly in Haru's eyes. Where once the clearing and indeed everything in and around the forest seemed to glow a ghostly light, the air itself was quiet and thick with magic, now it would seemed like any other forsaken ruins in a wild, untamed forest. Shadows became darker, the air cold and filled with the smell of rotting vegetation and mushroom, as if the magic has been drained from the place.
- Father, you shouldn't have come. - Lucious mumbled, voice still trembling.
- Lucious, I…
Quetz didn't even get to finished his words, in a blink of an eye, he was in Lucious' arms, the boy, for to him, his son was indeed still a boy, buried his face into his shoulder, where he felt hot wet tears soaking through his shirt. It was the first time the white haired Anacondrai has seen his son cry like this in centuries, millennia even. Not since that fateful day has Lucious showed any real emotion, he's always seemed so stoic and cold, obey every command to the letter. How long has he suppressed his emotions? How long has he endured quietly the gnawing pain that only he could comprehend?
Gently, the older male patted his son's head, ruffling his messy raven colored hair, feeling Lucious' claws digging but not able to tear into the fabric of his shirt. The younger male lifted his head from his father's shoulder, before turning to Haru with sorrow-filled golden eyes. For a split moment, the older male thought his son was about to dive into the boy with fangs and claws, tearing him a part in a fit of rage for reminding him of his pain. But Lucious simply knelt down, wrapping his arms around the boy and pulled him into an embrace.
- Lushi-san, I'm sorry I made you sad… - The white haired teen said softly, rubbing the black haired Anacondrai's head gently. - I promise I won't talk about it again.
- No, it's alright. - The Anacondrai shook his head and stood up slowly, rubbing the lingering tears from his eyes with a smile. - I'm fine, I should have…composed myself better.
- Lucious, there's nothing wrong with showing your weak side. - Quetz gently put his hand on his son's shoulder. - Now let's get back to the column.
- Yes Father. - Lucious nodded, slowly reaching for Haru's hand to hold, not to comfort the white haired boy, but to get some emotional support for himself it seemed.
The black haired man let Haru lead him out of the forest by the hand, or rather, as Quetz's starting to realized, unable or unwilling to let go of the boy's hand. It was weird seeing his favorite son, the most stoic and matured among his brothers, being so childishly shy and timid, he hasn't seen that side of him for a long time. In fact, he hasn't seen his son being close to anyone for a very long time, always keeping to himself, drowning in his own researches and investigations while sparing next to no time to interact with others. Lucious' always seemed so…cold, emotionless, to the point of uncaring, like Quetz himself has been, the white haired male realized. A realization that set into the older Anacondrai a sense of unease.
There's something dark growing inside Quetz, pulling at his minds and soul, invisible bonds tensing, like twisted wires and coiled chains being pulled, he could feel their stretch, heard their cries of protest the more time he spent with Haru. He stopped in his track, stumbled but still in balance, amber eye wide opened as he felt. Something's snapped inside him, literally, like a cable of a great bridge giving up on its task of supporting its own weight, the weight that brought the bond down upon the bridge itself like a whip. It sent chill down the white haired man's spines, his inner self let out a painful, anguish and thirsting roar, as if there's a beast inside him that's been sealed away, held in place by the bonds, like one that's just snapped in his soul, a beast whose presence felt so much like his own, but not as he's now, but as he was a lifetime ago.
- Keto-san, is something wrong? - Haru asked, turning to look at the man.
- It's nothing. - Quetz shook his head, then slowly continued to join his son and Haru. - We should get back, I'm sure everyone's worrying for both of you.
The smaller boy smiled, holding onto Quetz's hand as he did with his son's, casually, if not happily leading them back to the main column, almost oblivious of the grim frown that replaced his smile the moment the boy turned away, of the darkness growing inside his beloved and the bonds that were slowly loosening.