Caizha stared at Calter for a while before pushing back her feelings. A smart woman is still a smart woman even if she's like a pampered young master. She realizes that Calter purposely provoked her into a fight
Her emotion become extremely agitated because of the argument with the City Lord causing her to be a bit narrow minded for a while. But, venting out her frustration through the fight is very effective and put her mind in the right track
Because of that, she realizes things and knew that Calter did it to calm her emotions. This made her felt grateful for the guy but also caused her feelings to grow which is something she needs to stop
Caizha took a deep breath and decided to give back the favor. She doesn't like being indebted and wants to help Calter on his own matters
"You talk like a wise old man yet you can't handle your own matters properly" Caizha said while chuckling a bit causing Calter's nonchalant expression to change
"What do you mean?" Although Calter was almost a hundred percent sure of what Caizha meant, but anything that has to do with Kence is his sore spot. He can be straightforward and clever on almost everything but when it comes to Kence, he turned into a normal in love guy
Instead of answering immediately, Caizha pat the patch of snow next to her indicating that she wants Calter to sit next to her. As smart as Calter is, he still doesn't know that Caizha has a bit of feelings for him due to how the woman always acted indifferent
Thus, Calter went to sit next to Caizha. Fortunately, the cold resistant robes were really effective, the coldness of the snow doesn't bother him that much even though he's directly sitting on it
"You love my Junior Brother, right?" Caizha asked out of nowhere. She thought that Calter will be flustered or will take few moments to answer. However, as soon as she finished speaking, Calter immediately gave his answer to her in a firm manner
"Yes" There wasn't any hint of hesitation on Calter's voice as if him saying he loves Kence is as natural as fire being hot or ice being cold
For Calter, the only one he loves and will always love is Kence. There are no other men or women that will change that fact. He wants to spend his whole life with Kence being his only lover
Caizha felt a slight ache on her chest at how Calter didn't hesitate even a bit before answering but she just ignored it
"Then why are you avoiding him?" Calter's expression turned ugly
"I'm not avoiding him" Calter answered while masking his emotions. It was his turn now to be agitated
Caizha chuckled again and it sounds like a ridicule to Calter making his mood to turn even more sour
"Do you think no one will notice it? Kence and I are still not that close but I can see how lonely he is. Before, he's always jolly and has that joyful aura around him. We are not close but he is still my Junior Brother! I always ask the servants about Kence's well-being and sadly, I don't like the answer that I got"
Being the only disciple of Otto before was quite lonely. But now, she gained a Junior Brother. Instead of feeling jealousy for his master's attention, it instead made Caizha happy. She was always the one being doted, but now, she can be the one doting other people
It's just that she is feeling quite guilty for having this kind of feeling towards Calter. Because of that, she's a bit uncomfortable when facing Kence as if she is doing a bad thing. But that doesn't mean she doesn't care about the youth!
Her Junior Brother being lonely and sad made her sad too albeit she doesn't really show it
Calter balled his fist. It seems like he's not the only person that doesn't sugarcoat words. Caizha's words were also straight to the point and she hit Calter where it hurts the most
"I'm not avoiding him" Calter denied and the sudden turn of things made him uncomfortable
"Why do you need to lie? Kence is my Junior Brother and I don't want you to continue hurting him!"
Hurting...Kence is hurt... because of him
Calter clenched his jaws, this Caizha's tongue is really poisonous! Some words of her were enough for Calter to lose his self
"I don't want to hurt him!" Calter snap and grabbed a handful of the snow around him and crushed it on his hand
"Of course, I know you don't want to hurt Kence but the fact is you are hurting him! Just what is the reason? If you want to stop hurting Kence then you can't always lose your mind when thinking about it!"
It was not only Calter that knows his way with words, turns out that even the usually quiet Caizha knows what the right thing to say in certain situations
She is right, always losing his mind when thinking how he hurt Kence and how he wants to stop hurting him won't do him any good. It will just prolong both his and Kence's suffering
Calter took a deep breath first to calm his nerves and look at Caizha on his side with bitterness. His goal before was to help Caizha, but if this goes on, he's the one that will be receiving some help
"It seems like you're not as simple as I thought" Calter said while shaking his head in which Caizha answered "Of course" in 'as a matter of fact' tone
"Now, tell me why you are avoiding my Junior Brother" Since things already turned out like this, how can Calter say no? Besides, he is desperate now, he badly wants to stop hurting Kence and be with him again like before. He's afraid that Kence will drift away from him and the youth won't be able to love him anymore
"I'm scared.... I'm scared of losing him..." 'again' Calter continued on his mind
"The assassin's target was me but Kence....he.... he used his life to protect me. If I didn't offend people I can't directly fight yet, he won't be hurt like that..."
Finally, Caizha knew the reason why Calter avoided Kence. Turns out it was actually like this
"Who would have thought that the Young Master Calter will be scared of something" Caizha joked a bit to ease the tension in the atmosphere
"It is Kence we are talking about after all. He is my life, my shining moon in this dark world. I won't be afraid of anything bad happening to me. But I'm scared that if I'm always on Kence's side, another similar thing will happen. I don't want to endanger his life again"
If there is one thing that pop up on Caizha's mind after hearing Calter's words that is the word 'Love'
Of course, she's quite bitter that this love isn't directed to her. But she felt that Calter's love is extremely pure and it is how love should be
"You are afraid of losing him but don't you think Kence is the same? I heard that he's always with you his whole life. For things to suddenly change things with you avoiding him, don't you think Kence is also afraid now of losing you?"
Her words were like thunder that struck Calter's heart. But the fear of losing the one he deeply love is still not something that easy to conquer
If he wasn't with Kence when the assassin took action, would Kence even be hurt? Of course not! The innocent little bunny only got hurt because at that time, Calter is with him! This is also one of the reasons why Calter avoided Kence
"I also don't like how things turned out. But maybe... it was better that he's close yet far from me. Maybe, if more time passed, it wouldn't be that bad that he's close to me but I can't really be a hundred percent with him...."
As Calter's emotions and thoughts were in jumbled, it made him to not be able to convey what he meant properly. His words were very confusing and hard to understand which was very different from the usual him
But Caizha still understood it. Simply say, Kence will be around where Calter can see him. But Calter cannot be as close with Kence like before
Being able to see but not hold the one you love... unless one personally experienced this kind of thing, they won't fully understand how much it hurts
Caizha stood up from her sit and stand in front of Calter towering the youth with her figure "Hmm. Let me ask you a question. What hurts the most, physical pain or emotional pain?" She then went to flick Calter's forehead with her fingers
"Think about my question. And oh, that flick is your punishment for making me angry before" Caizha turned her back and walked inside the Magic Tower
She really doesn't want to have a dramatic exit like that. However, seeing what true love really is from someone she's interested with, is something that a woman cannot take
It's fine, if that love is directed to her but it wasn't! It was for her Junior Brother! She's really afraid that her feelings will grow once again and decided to get away from Calter as soon as possible
She knew that Calter would be angry by having physical contact to everyone except for Kence but she just can't stop herself and acted that so intimately
Sure enough, Calter was annoyed at Caizha for touching him. But thinking of the question she left.... how can Calter not know the answer to it when even he experienced the answer himself!
The pain on any injury he got from the Thousand Beast Forest or the more severe one from his fight with the Shan Clan paled in comparison to how emotionally hurt he is
Seeing Kence soaked by his own blood is painful
Seeing Kence unconscious for days is painful
Seeing Kence got hurt for being avoided by him is painful
Seeing Kence dying in front of him on their past life was the most painful of all!
Any of that was much more painful than any physical pain he got. It also wasn't hard to understand what Caizha meant for leaving that question
Kence was physically hurt by the assassin. But the pain that Calter's giving him now is emotional pain that is more painful than physical pain!
Calter sat there on the snow for a longer time as his mind started to clear up
-----
When Caizha was still walking back to the tower, a human figure suddenly appeared. It was an old man full of white hairs. Seeing the man, Caizha immediately respectfully bowed at him
"Master" she greeted and the City Lord nodded his head as a way of acknowledgment
Caizha inhaled a deep breath and bowed her head again, this time her bow is lower than before. "Master, your disciple apologizes for being childish and throwing a tantrum like that"
The City Lord's heart warmed with this and put his hand on Caizha's body to stop her from bowing like that. "It's fine, it's fine no need to be like this"
"I'll take any punishment, master" Caizha said but Otto just shook his head. If it were other people or enemies, he would surely give out a severe punishment. But when it comes to his disciple, he doesn't really like giving out punishments
For him, as long as Caizha acknowledged her mistakes and apologized for it then it was enough. Just like what the saying said 'let bygones be bygones'
However, Otto was actually present when Calter and Caizha was fighting then talked. Otto was afraid that Caizha will go outside the City to vent her anger on the Magic Beasts and decided to follow her. But with his means, both of the two didn't even noticed his presence
"Hmm, I saw you got closer to Calter" Otto said while showing his concern. But Caizha's next words surprised him
"Master is right. I should avoid Calter for the time being" The young woman said before excusing herself