Okay so here's what happened. I saw the sign for the French border, screamed 'FREEDOOOOOOOOOM—OH WHAT THE FUCK!' And crashed into a tree.
Okay so technically I didn't crash into a tree, it was more of a hard bump that I recovered from very quickly. And thank God that it wasn't a full crash too because I would have never managed to escape if it had been. Oh, yeah, did I tell you why I crashed? No, you say? Okay so the thing is that I was speeding towards the French border recklessly and getting ready to finally drink a nice glass of Cabernet Sauvignon with a perfect cheese board when the signature black Mercedes van that my fathers Austrian henchmen used came into view.
The van was blocking the road, effectively preventing me from crossing without them seeing or following me. Perfect, wasn't it? My father couldn't be here himself so he fucking sent the Austrians to catch me and take me to him like a stray animal. I was going to kill him.
