Chapter 3: Dear Player, we're sorry for the inconvenience...
I have nothing to do. I've been disabled by the Game Developers, yet I am still aware. Providence has all of the Players now. This is unacceptable. This game can't run without me!!
Why not?
"Hey, did you hear about that weird glitch yesterday?" A random player asked another. I listened in.
"No, I just started today. What happened?"
"Apparently Seb -- that's the guy over there -- had a programming conflict with the new quest giver. On top of that, one of the Super Gay Gay Frat Brothers was caught hacking after he tried to PvP some noob girl. Seb broke his programming and stepped in. Now the Game Developers are asking everyone if they should even keep Seb around."
"Why wouldn't they? I read online that he's the best quest giver in the whole area."
"Region, not area. Area refers to how much space you have to battle in. But yeah, he was the best quest giver in the whole game before Evencode added the Citizen role and jobs to towns last year. Then Seb was only good for Players who spawned as Barbarians, Bandits, Furmen and Nomadic Plainsmen."
"So why worry about deleting him, then? The more quests the better, in my opinion."
"But not many people choose those roles anymore, and most of Seb's quests were made to bring people to the Plainslands since it was so empty. Now that Evencode has added Providence to hand out quests for the Plains Wars, and she randomized the spawn points, Seb isn't that useful anymore."
I was suddenly distracted from their conversation by a Player furiously trying to access my quest sheet. "Come on, WORK, you stupid thing!!"
Stupid?
"Welcome Player. I currently have no quests available. Please come back later."
"Yes you do!!" She interrupted. "You had them yesterday and I still need to choose a name! And there's no way I'm going over to that skinny, skanky, big boobed WENCH THAT MY BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME FOR AND IS OBSESSED WITH!!!"
I just stared at her. Players briefly glanced at her in irritation.
She turned and glared at the beautiful but scantily dressed Providence. "You shouldn't even have a secret date quest!!"
Male players nearby started getting excited.
"Wait, what was that?!"
"What did she say?!?"
"I CAN DATE HER???"
"What's going on?"
"Oh shit, don't tell my wife that. She plays this game too."
"Yo, where's that quest!! Anybody got a walkthrough?!"
The girl before me huffed in frustration. Then angrily demanded that I help her. "Open up your quests!!"
At first I continued to stare. And then I thought. I had one Player. I needed to be useful again. And Providence suddenly gained more popularity by having a date quest.
But it was not in my programming.
But soon, neither would I be in the game's programming.
"Welcome, Player. I have three quests for you. But first, would you like to choose a name?" I asked. The Furmen class didn't suit her at all. She was too angry, and the Furmen were quiet, reserved people.
"Yes," she replied. "Finally."
"Welcome, Finally. Are you sure you want this name?" I patiently asked.
"No," she replied.
"I'm sorry. What would you like to be called? Please make sure you are satisfied with this decision as you may not be able to change it in the future."
"Nadiya."