When we got to Idris kingdom and enter the palace, Jasper decided to talk to me "I am sorry if I overreacted, I saw your father's face when you were with those guys and knew he was being annoyed by his rules" I did not know what to say, but I thought that maybe it was just that "It is ok, at least my arm is still complete in one piece" he smiled and hugged me.
It was really good to be by his side, I read more books trying to find answers about love and companion, so I decided to be good to him. Every day I was helping with his tasks, I helped in the kitchen and do random helpful activities. I decided to massage his back every night, had sex a lot of times, every day if possible, I was always smiling and trying to make him happy. After a year he decided to talk to me about something I did not thought about before "Do you wanna have a family with me?" I looked confused by his question "Of course, why are you asking?" he sighed "because we are already one year married, and even if we have sex every day you had not to get pregnant" I never thought about it and say "maybe it is not our luck and we should keep trying" he sighed and hugged me "What if one of us cannot have babies?" His reply made me sad, but a was not sure about this "It does not matter..." I remembered all the poor kids outside of the kingdom "maybe we can get a baby in any other way" he looked at me "How?" and I said it "there are a lot of poor families, poor people, maybe we can give a different life to one of them?" he was thinking "you are right" and stepped away. Six months later I started to feel dizzy and bad, but not as a pregnancy, so I decided to call a doctor later during the next week. Jasper had been stressed out about the baby talk, so I decided to restrict the sex and reduced since I was feeling bad, but for some reason, he started weird. Everyone around the kingdom loved Jasper, he was amazing, he was always laughing and everyone were their friends, he did not have a bad heart. I thought some males reacted by their instincts, but sometimes I felt that was stupid. One night Jasper decided that he wanted to have sex, but I did not want it because I was feeling bad, he grabbed me and kissed me while I was saying "please, I do not feel good" he totally ignored me and got inside of me. For some reason I did not get wet and it started to hurt really bad "it hurts, please" but he did not listen and I just did shut my mouth, so I started thinking about what exactly is love and why is he acting like this, maybe is my fault, maybe that is how life is. I decided not to say anything and just forget it, the doctor checked me and said that I had an infection, he said that I was internally damaged and he asked "It usually happens for different reasons, the first is if you had sex with someone else or maybe he, but also because you are not lubricating during sex, or both" I was in blank, he proceeded "I am giving you some medicine, do not worry." The same day, I decided to talk to him about what happened and what the doctor said, he hugged me and asked "Would you forgive me? I am so sorry, I thought you were joking when you said that it hurt you" I did not want to discuss, so I smiled "It is ok, I am better now."
Maybe it was normal, I thought everyone has problems, but we still love each other. I really loved to touch him, kissed him, seeing his eyes, I loved being loved by him that I even asked him "Please, never leave me. I would not know what to do without you" and a tear was about to come out when he said, "I would never leave you, Why would I do it?" I did not know what to say and he proceeded "I love you, little dummy."
We forgot it and kept moving forward. After a year it started again to be almost perfect, we got small fights but everything was good, we came to see the flower a couple of times, but something did not make so much sense in my mind and I decided to study. I came to see the flower and meditate during the full moon, I just told Jasper that I would be with my parents for a couple of days, and it was true, but I did not say why. After an hour meditating and got no answer, so I decided to get back. After my studies, I started thinking even more, so I asked him "Do you know anything about the flower?" he smiled and said "Of course, all I know it is a fountain of my power, and the moon's power is inside of it" I felt he was hiding something but I did not want to say it because he would get mad easily about it.
A couple of days later, I realized Jasper was working with my father in a big project, but no one said what it was about, even if I was involved. In the third year of my marriage, I realized Jasper was not really honest since he was always around girls and his only excuse was "they are my friends." Winny came to the palace to see us, and when he hugged me Jasper said nothing but looked really mad at me, even if he was our friend and it was not the first time that he hugged me. We got closer to Winny during our marriage, he said it was a good idea to have a friend, but I do not think he meant it, I do not think he really wants me to have friends at all. When Winny went back to home, Jasper decided to confronted me saying "Why did you hug him?" and replied "I did not, he hugged me, but it is not the first time he does it" he started saying "So, Why are you always making fun of me?" so I said "you do it, too. We are not only a couple but also friends" and he replied, "I am just jealous." The next day I decided to go to the village to buy something for him, so I could give a surprise and make him happy. I realized people from my kingdom were moving to Idris kingdom and when I saw old Jim and his son Rob I decided to say 'Hi' both of them recognized me and hugged me, it was really cute and it made me happy. I came back to the palace and Jasper was already waiting for me, he was mad and worried at the same time "Where did you go? I was so worried... A knight said he saw you hugging people in the middle of the village" so I laughed "I am sorry" I showed him a brooch it was blue, but with a movement changed to purple and then the green "It reminds me to your eyes, so I bought it for you" he looked at me and said "Why did hugged a guy in the village? Are you betraying your king?" I smiled "Those are people moving from Sabbath kingdom, they recognized me because I know them since I was a kid and it made me really happy to see them" he looked away and said, "I do not want you to do that, if you go somewhere you have to tell me and you never should go alone, I can go with you or some other servant." I said nothing more, but it just made me a bit sad to know that I used to have more liberty with my parents, even if my father was an idiot.
Even after all these years, I realized that I had not got pregnant, but I decided to stop thinking about it because it just made me more miserable. I felt Jasper was already tired of me, he was always trying to fight and I just shut my mouth up to make things easier. I felt lost, but I was still glad to be by his said because that is love.
I was so tired and went to Sabbath kingdom to see the flower, but I just lied saying that I was there to see my parents and have a little dinner with them, when the night came out I decided to go where the flower was, it cut me again while I was pouring some water and fertilizer, I saw my hand bleeding and said "I am tired of everything, I wanna find myself, I stopped reading and I got no motivation to do something else. I do not want power, I just wanna be happy with my life" and when I started to cry the moon started to shine away too much, the flower did the same and I just heard "You got the blood of the royals, the mark of the innocent and pure... You are the only one who can bring it back to life.." I did not understood and I just heard my father asked me "What are you doing?" I looked at him and he stepped back "Those eyes" I freaked out and then I fade away. When I woke up, I saw my father and Jasper together talking about their future experiment, so I knew they would want to experiment with me, I did not understand. Why the flower did that?, and Why Jasper hide to me that the moon's flower is still asleep?
He knew that I was confused "We need your powers" I did not understood "I do not have powers.." he interrupted "The moon's flower brought me back to life after what your father did, but because of that it sealed its powers. We were studying about bring it back to life so we can conquer the 6 kingdoms." I was surprised that he was just like my father, but I needed to keep it "I will help you with anything my king." I had to fake it until a had a plan.
Even if Jasper was starting to act really weird I did not want to leave him. He was already all I had, all I need, and all I loved.
It was October, the night was getting cold and it reminds me to the first time that I was with him in my room, I tried to touch him with my hand but realized he was not by my side. I stand up and walked through the castle, I looked for him all around and never found him.
I went to the library and found a spell magic book and all about sigils. I felt a big feeling when I read "to be powerful, you should believe you really are" so I thought maybe when I lost my motivation, I also lost everything to believe in myself. I found a mirror inside of the library and when I was looking to myself I realized that something changed, but I did not know what exactly it was. I took off my dress and I realized that I got overweighted, my face looked tired, even if I was sleeping really well. I looked for a different book and realized that it might be because he is making me feel tired of everything, he was draining my life.
When I stepped outside of the library and started walking between all the rooms I heard something inside of those rooms, the door was slightly opened so I just came in.
While I shocked myself watching him I thought "What exactly is love?, Does it exist?, It is just an excuse to gain power or wealth? Is it pain?" He seemed to be satisfied fucking another one and I thought "Or is it because I changed?" she was pretty and skinnier "She looks even prettier..." I was crying in an uncomfortable way while I was watching them, and so I thought it was my fault "He is changing me for someone else? Because I stopped to be pretty?" his hands touching another skin, kissing other nipples, someone's else neck and introducing himself into someone else; made me felt the worsted person in the world, and the most miserable one.
I walked to my room, changed clothes, I decided not to write a letter, I grabbed some coins and went out by the window.
I knew after being satisfied and happy, he decided to get back to our room, opened the door, lay down in the bed, and tried to touch me, just to realize that I was not there. Get out of the room asking all the knights about me, they told him that I came out and got back to my room and he asked to look for me everywhere around Idris kingdom. But he did not remember how wild I was to escape into the forest.
So, while he was screaming and ordering to find me, I was running, about to get a horse and get away from everything, from everyone. I was about to start a new life. I was surely scared, but I was also really tired.