CHAPTER 3: Thick Journal
Entry 2,190
Luckily today wasn't as hot as yesterday. I was able to pick a simple comfy oufit for school with the aim of all goody first day of classes. Though, it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Kaydee's all pushy attitude about me and sports was not so fun. Then, it ended up onto an idiosyncratic feeling. Something about that long haired man intrigued me. It's like he's hiding something vicious... Something out of league.
WHILE chewing my bottom lip, the fingers on my right hand slightly flipped a g-tech ballpen back and forth.
I closed my journal after jotting down the happenings this day. All fours had spent just reading the scribbled words, totally lost from Kaydee's scheme down to an unexpected encounter with that guy.
Writing a diary completed my everyday life may it be pure nonsense or worthy to jot down with. It was like something compelled me to do it every end of the day which seemed reasonable after Mom gave me her favorite journal. She wanted me to pour my heart out on it. Remembering her words turned my heart to clench.
A sudden memory from the past resurfaced...
My fifteen year old self was happily humming from the windowsill while watching the shady sun to rise. The place I was situated at was a perfect location for the view.
I even remember the song was Mr. Golden Sun by Barney, a total childish for a teenage girl like me. Nonetheless, It wasn't my problem if someone would brought their arguments about me being hooked to a childish song setting aside various song trends.
A sweet calming voice asked stopping me from humming. "Still peaking for Mr. Sun?" It was Mom approaching with a thick journal in hand.
I smiled at her and nodded. "Yes Mom. I missed the view for quite a month after the chilly winter season."
She gracefully sat on my bed's edge while a smile still plastered on her face. She motioned me to come near her after a long pause of silence which I obliged to do. I sat just beside her.
I heard her took a couple of sighs diminishing the earlier calming aura she possessed.
My Mom was the sweetest of all. She took care of us day and night while Dad was gone busy for his hospital duties, and seeing her quite upset made me wonder and sad.
I looked at her glamour black eyes. "You seem upset, Mom." I then asked with a lace of worry, "Is something wrong?"
Her smooth hand glided back and forth on my straight blonde hair. Whenever she did this I could sense something was out of order, plus, her large intake of air.
"Nothing, sweetie." Her smile began to resurface again.
I wondered if I saw something on it but not sure enough to voice it out. Was it pain? Why would she felt those? My fifteen year old self wasn't much acquianted with that. I was always curious which took me to read books about the things that confused me.
Even though Mom's behaviour was a bit creepy that time, I managed to gave her a warm hug. She once told me that mine and Zeke, my twin's hug were her best remedy.
"I love you Mom," I said which she answered with a sweet kiss in both of my cheeks, then, weakly muttered, "I love you too sweetie."
She looked at me intently after the hug she gave me. Her eyes told me lots of things which I couldn't decipher. I was clueless, and flummoxed about her actions.
"Take this, Aster," she initiated and handed the thick journal at me which I answered with confusion. "What is this for, Mom?"
Now, her hands on my cheeks placed. "This... this journal will serve as your bestfriend. Aside Mommy, you'll tell everything you feel in this journal by writing it out, okay? Pour your sadness, happiness and even nonsense things in here, sweetie." She took several breathes.
I curiously raked my hand on the cover page of the journal, then I heard Mom spoke again.
"Write your life and heart in here... And when time comes that I won't be here, ito lang ang buhusan mo ng 'yong problema. Remember that, Aster."
It was then the last time I hugged her before they were taken away from us.
If I only knew that it would happen, maybe I could do something to stop them from going. I should have known, but I didn't.
And so, they were gone...
With a haste pace, I wiped the pool of tears in my face and shook my head to erase that thoughts hoping it won't resurface again.
I simply twisted my aching neck after reminiscing the past.
Looking at my bedside clock, an early sleep wouldn't eat me, so I climbed out of bed.
The comfy supreme slippers I bought last summer perfectly soathed my sore feet. The sandals I used on school was a bit smaller than my size so it was utterly discomforting.
Choosing a thing to buy shouldn't just be based on how good it looks, but also, on the comforting feeling it could give to you. And that was I failed to do. Better luck next time for me.
As I reached Dad's closed room, I managed to knock two times without someone opening it, but then again noticed it wasn't locked. The subtle creak echoed the silent room. I peaked my head inside before I realized Dad's not there.
Aside from his room, he has another space he sometimes spent an entire sleepless night--his mini art gallery situated on an underground.
Down the right corner of the living room, a not so catchy small door situated on it. At first glance, you wouldn't really notice that it's a door if not thoroughly examined. Dad painted the door with a big creepy eye painting masking its door frame.
He also loves to paint whenever he was off from work or he just feel like it. And that was his cup of tea other than being a noble nurse.
"Dad?" My voice echoed on that narrow room. The insides wasn't big, just enough for him to paint human body canvas. He was fond of painting any human body related, mainly body parts, but with unique structure.
"Right here!" I heard him spoke behind the small cabinet where his art material were put. Maybe he had a new canvas since it was quite long time after his last one due to his busy hospital work and stuffs.
"Oh, wow!" I was surprised, mainly amaze. I was really right about him painting, and it was a single leg with two feet. The canvas was partly smashed in black coal. Amazing was an understatement rather glorious.
I wasn't saying this to brag, but my Dad could become a prominent artist if he would only show his works into public. Perhaps, he wouldn't even let anyone see it other than me.
Most of his works were somewhat confusing just like the headless man with bended knees, crying long-tounged lady, eyeless old man sitting on the cave, and seven more.
There was once a time in my first year in Humber, I asked him about the message they portrayed. He only answered, "The eyes who can see are the ones who understands."
He lastly brushed the white something fluid on the nail part before he stopped what he was doing then glanced at me.
"Do you need anything, sweetie?"
I nodded, looked at him with hope, and asked, "Are you busy this Friday?"
He paused for a bit, then, placed his hands on the corner of his canvas. Only half part of it was done, but dad already took it out, and carefully placed in an open cabinet where his other arts were placed.
"Sorry. Two nurses from second floor are out for that day, so additional load of work will be stuff on us... Why? Is that sort of super important?" He asked while wiping the messed paints on his table.
"Yeah." My breath hitched low. Yes Dad. This is super important. Did you forgot? What was with you dad?!
Something within me broke realizing he didn't even remember how special that day was.
"Oh! Then what is it all about? Maybe I could ask Mara to do something about my schedule," he seamlessly said. His crystal blue eyes darted at me while waiting for my answer.
It seemed like he was really clueless about what I wanted him to remember.
"Zeke and Mom's death anniversary."
A defeaning silent passed through before he answered, "I'll absent."
Indeed, as Friday came, Dad didn't work nor I went to school.
We both visited my twin and Mom in the cemetery and pour our hearts out remembering their death.
---
It was just 6:00 in the morning when I managed to scoot myself out of my comfy bed just to do jogging. Wearing a simple black jogging pants that matched with my black rubber shoes and a fitted shirt, I then did a knot on my blonde hair.
I felt the relief to do jogging that early moring. I've had missed passing across the street while sometimes familiarizing landmarks.
After an hour which seemed quite short for me since I enjoyed strolling the place instead of jogging, I decided to walk back home. While walking past the street of our neighborhood, I then contacted my boyfriend not minding if it was barely 7:00 A.M.
The other line answered after two rings.
"Hi." Zeiko's hoarsed voice told me that I woke him up.
"An early sleeper yet woke up too late. You're really something, Mr. Andrade." I breathed a laugh after I said that.
"Guilty as charged Ma'am," he said in a hard commander tone, gone that fresh from bed voice of his. "Did you miss this man, Ma'am?" he added.
I couldn't help but to laugh at his corny strikes of flirtation.
"Not so," I joked which earned him a low tsk-tsked.
"You're indenial," he teasingly asserted.
A sudden muffled noise came up which maybe his Mom.
"By the way, I'll get you at nine, babe. Saturday is perfect for a date with a beautiful lady like you," he lowly added.
A laugh escaped my mouth again. He really amused me.
"You are so cheesy." My answer made him chuckled lightly. It eased my heart. Everytime he felt happy made me happy as well, and so a smile was plastered in my face.
"Only for you," he muttered with confidence.
Our talk lasted for fifteen minutes before it ended. Then I realized where I was standing.
I was enthralled by Zeiko's giddy talks without noticing where my feet leads me.
His home... The guy with a shoulder length hair and a chocolate brown orbs.
The organ in my chest rammed faster than usual.
You're not scared Aster, aren't you? You're too shallow. He didn't do something wrong, so stop that and walk just fine!
A sharp intake of air was made before my feet walked steadily on the street straight-faced.
But fate wasn't that good at me when his figure just appeared out of their gate... Standing firm with a stark demeanor.
My feet were glued on the cement, and an immobilized body.
Suddenly, my eyes darted on his hugging sweat shirt which shaped his masculine torso. It was as if he had been in gym exercies for building such fine muscles. The shoulder length hair was tied up to his back, revealing much of his handsome hard face.
Stop that Aster. That man is far from handsome. He even had subtle stubbles which you didn't like for a guy. So stop ogling and walk without looking back! My inner self commanded me.
His eyes too landed at me just like on the first day we met--angry. His lips in thin line and jaw clenched.
I managed to breathe which I didn't do couple of seconds ago while eyeing at him. His eyes were burning my soul into damnation.
When my nerves calmed down, I made few steps forward half minding him. But there was that fast pumping of my heart again knowing his gazes were still fixated in me.
Thankfully, he removed his deep burning stares faraway from mine. His broad shoulders were slumped, and the other hand hid in his pocket jeans. The latter ceaselessly walked without turning back.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! What was that all about? Why did I reacted that way?
I was really nervous with his presence, maybe because I was terrified by his bloodshot eyes couple of days ago?
Nonetheless, I totally calmed down when I reached our gate. I could breathe heavenly at peace.