Ryan reached down and took my hand and then pulled me closer to him.
"Would you like something else to drink?" he asked, looking at my untouched glass.
I shook my head. "I'm fine." Too nervous to drink anything. Besides I wanted a clear head. He motioned her a waitress to refill his drink.
"I don't want you to be nervous or afraid of me, Myra That's not my intention at all. I gave you a very detailed outline of what our relationship will be to allay any fears or confusion. I merely want you to know precisely what our agreement will entail. But I never intended for you to be frightened or intimidated."
"You don't frighten me," I lied,
"I just don't this to blow up in my face in a few weeks, you can't expect me to quit my job for something that can end any time." I stared back at him, determined to be confident and straightforward.
"Just give it a try, try for a month. Let me have you for a month, if you still feel this way I will let you go." Something primal entered his eyes.
It made me feel extremely vulnerable, but the sensation was sinfully delicious, making me shiver.
"Okay," I find myself whispering.
"But I have a few conditions of my own," I said cautiously.
One eyebrow lifted and amusement twisted his lips. "Do you now?"
If I wasn't firm and didn't stand my ground, I won't stand a chance in this relationship. Regardless of whether i was turning over power to him, I didn't want to be some spineless twit who chose to cower rather than to speak her mind.
Ryan expression softened and he reached out to touch my face, sliding his hand down to my jaw. "Myra, listen to me. The contract is a little misleading in that it states I'm given all power and complete and utter control over you. To a point that's accurate. But I can assure you that I'm never going to do something that I feel you are absolutely uncomfortable with. My job is to be in tune with your wants, needs and desires. I'm not worth much as a man if I can't do that for the woman in my care. The ultimate power rests with you. Because you control my actions. I want to please you. It's very important to me that I please you. I want you to be satisfied. I want you to be so spoiled, pampered and cherished that you don't want to be anywhere but with me all the time."
I swallowed, barely stifling the sigh of relief that threatened to burst free.
"Were there other concerns?" he asked. I nod. He let his hand fall from my face.
"Let's hear them."
"I don't have a lot of experiences," I blurted. "I know enough about these kinds of...relationships...to know that most people are well knowledgeable in the area."
"I wonder what you're imagining I'll do to you," he murmured.
"There were words like bondage and pain," I pointed out. "It's a reasonable fear."
"Yes, it is," he conceded. "But it's to give you pleasure"
I furrow my brow. "The contract was pretty clear,"
He sighed. "I'm not some monster bent on abusing you, Myra. You're right in, I do intend on taking you places your body never been. But you can always say no but I'd rather reserve that word for rare occasions when you are truly frightened or uncomfortable."
"I don't want it popping out of your mouth just because you're uncertain and the idea strikes you wrong before you even give it a chance. But if you truly find yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in, no is sufficient for me to stop. I may not like it, but I won't ignore that word. Ever. You have my word on that. We'll discuss what made you uncomfortable and we'll either address it and soothe your fears, or we'll move on and leave it behind."
"So just don't cry wolf," i said.
"Exactly."
I was starting to lighten, some of the worry evaporating. There was a tinge of excitement that tugged at me as i contemplated being so close to something new and different.
"Is there anything more?" he asked, staring expectantly at me.
I nodded and then drew in a deep breath. He may or may not take my next condition well. But it was something refused to budge on.
"There's an entire paragraph devoted to the issue of my fidelity. However, there's nothing about you being faithful to me."
Amusement glimmered in his eyes. "That's important to you."
"Yes," i said with more force than she intended. "If that contract says I'm yours, then by God it's going to say you belong to me."
He threw back his head and laughed, drawing people's attention "All right. I have no issue with adding that clause. Now, are we done?"
Slowly i shook my head. "There's one other thing. And it's pretty huge. The most important part of any agreement we strike."
He leaned back a bit, his brows coming together as he studying me "It sounds like a potential deal breaker for you."
I nod. "It is."
"I'm listening."
"If we do this thing... no one can never know. The truth, I mean."