I hated it when people say how terrible their life was for such menial and benign reasons. I hate my life because my dad won't buy me a new phone. I want to die because I failed my midterm. Life sucks because my parents got me the wrong car, and all those selfish things. They did not understand having limbs that were slowly deteriorating, having lungs that felt like they had holes in it and a heart ready to stop at the drop of a hat. Just waking up in the morning and having a scorching sunlight hit your eyes was a challenge. I was staring at the dusty ceiling, my body almost feeling like a heavy puppet without the strings. Every time my heartbeat picked up with every inch I moved I thought it was a heart attack waiting to happen. I heard a few grunts of annoyance and turned my head to the right to see my boyfriend leaning over his computer chair with his eyes glued to the glowing screen. Next to his screen I could see the clock glowing and reading quarter to nine and I jolted awake. Sitting up I felt like my body was turning to stone as my muscles felt like jelly. My long hair fell in front of my face a bit, the weight of it pushing down my night shirt and revealing the top of my small breast. My boyfriend turned to look at me when I winced and managed to pull myself up. His floppy red hair was growing very shaggy and unkempt, and his face was bright red as if he was angry.
"Good you're up, can you make me something to eat?" My body almost grew cold at his words.
"I have to get ready for work babe, I have to work double today." Instead of being kind to my situation he just rolled his eyes and blew air into his microphone. I felt guilt well in my chest and I could not figure out why. Pushing myself out of bed I felt my legs tingle as I stood.
"If you help me get dressed I might be able to make you a quick sandwich." I pulled my caramel honey hair into a loose bun with difficulty and without even brushing it. I pushed my black horned rimmed glasses up my nose and looked back at him. He was still glued to his monitor.
"Conner," I sighed and pushed myself up to my feet unsteadily.
"What?" He almost screamed and spun around in his chair with his face contorted in fury. My heart pounded and I grabbed my chest in the shock as I took a shaky breath.
"If you help me get dressed I think I have enough time to make you a sandwich." He rolled his eyes and pointed to his screen where a game of League of Legends was playing on the screen.
"I am busy here, just do it yourself. I'll make my own damn sandwich. Bring home leftovers from the diner after you're done tonight, or cook."
"I won't be back until after eleven tonight I can't cook." I frowned at him, my annoyance rising.
"Then pick up food, you only work three blocks away." He rolled his eyes and shook his head at the screen as if I was being the unreasonable one. I was too tired to argue though and I just fell silent, my eyes falling to my strewn uniform on the floor. What should have taken someone a minute or two to get dressed took me about ten. My skeletal body fell into my yoga pants and the diners soft blue collared tee with a cursive Dorian's Diner scrawled across my chest with my name scrawled over my left collarbone. I had two deep pockets in the front where I stored my bright orange pill bottle, wallet, keys and restaurant float. I pulled a thick black hoodie over me, already feeling a chill settling in my bones. I turned to the man locked on his computer and mustered a small smile. I managed to wobble myself past these grey walls and through the open door. To the left was our small living room that was bare except for an old box television, coffee table and floral dusty couch and to my right was our shoes and door. I waddled over to the living room because adjacent to that was the kitchen. Walking over the dirty cream carpet floor and then moving over to the cool tile floor made me shiver as I looked to the dusty and slightly rusting appliances. We did not have much for snack food, but we did have a plastic bag of corn nuts pushed at the back of the yellowed and chipped counter next to our sink and stove. Wobbling over, I weakly picked up the bulk bag and trudged back to the room. The sunlight streaming through the balcony sliding glass window was dull against our washed out and bare walls. It was incredibly depressing, but as is life. I slipped on my black non slip sneakers and poked my head through the open door.
"Babe," Conner turned his head to me and I underhand tossed the corn nuts to him, "I love you." He caught the tied up bag and smiled at me sweetly. He shot me an air kiss and turned back to his game, giving me a warm feeling in my chest. I wanted to go over and kiss him but I had to leave that moment. Throwing my head to the side through the dusty air in my tiny, stained apartment I threw open the door to the tiny and splintered door and dashed out. Keep in mind, I have the speed of a penguin as I waddled down the dim and flickering greenish hallway. We lived on the second floor of a grimy apartment on university street of downtown Toronto, so the place was falling apart and had no elevator. Instead at the end of the hallway there was another wooden door that led down to the glass door to the sidewalk. I had to take each step at a time, not because I was sore but because my muscles were weak from a genetic condition I have.
"Oh sweetie! Hold on honey!" A sweet voice called out from above me after I managed to step down the third step of the twelve steps to lead down to the sunny door to the outside. I craned my neck up when I heard footsteps rapidly rumble down the stairs towards me. The shadow rounded the corner to the staircase adjacent to the one I was on and I could make out the figure barrelling towards me at high speeds.
"Oh! Mr. Penbrook, can I help you?" I looked to the elderly black man with a grin under his scruffy beard. He was a kind elderly man with lots of spunk who lived on the fourth floor, and often invited me over to tea and board games when I had any time.
"Let me help you down the stairs honey," I was grateful when he looped his arm around my shoulders for support and helped me down the stairs at a soft pace.
"Thank you Mr. Penbrook--"
"Please call me Kevin." He grinned at me and rubbed my arm under my jacket. He was grinning in his plaid shirt and jeans as he managed to get me to the bottom of the stairs safely.
"What time are you off today? Would you like to play some chess with me after?" I winced and rubbed the back of my neck nervously.
"I am doing the night shift tonight, and Tiffany was supposed to work tonight. She mentioned to me earlier how she wanted to skip out on work for a Uni party tonight so I wouldn't be surprised if I am there for the graveyard shift." His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth screwed into a frown at my words.
"But sweetie, you need to take a break. You're body can't work for that long," From the look on my face I could tell that he understood that I didn't have a choice, "Has that boyfriend of yours found a job?" My silence was the only answer he needed. He let out a sigh and rubbed his bald head.
"Shameful of a man, having his lady working so much while he sits on his butt everyday. Is he at least making you dinner?" Again I was silent and I looked to the ground. He grumbled angrily under his breath.
"Tell you what sweetie, I'll swing by your work with Holst and some of his famous strawberry rhubarb pie. You deserve a little sweetness in your life." He reached out and pinched my cheeks lightly. The single act alone made my heart swell up as I suppressed tears of gratitude.
"That would be nice Kevin, that would be really nice." He smiled at me as I bit back tears from the man's kindness.
"Alright sweetie, well please be careful out there today. I saw some college hooligans running amok with their telephones making some strange videos today. Kids these days, I just cannot figure out what the appeal of taking pictures against an ally wall is." I giggled at the elderly man's confusion as I reached out and patted his cheek.
"It's an 'aesthetic'."
"It's stupid is what it is. Now get going sweetheart, Holst and I will visit you later tonight." I nodded towards the elderly man and fumbled the door open clumsily. Whether it was my own flightiness or my body's muscular dystrophy kicking in I will never know. I waved the man goodbye as I stepped out into the chilly autumn air. The cold was almost bone chilling, but not surprising since it was southern Canada. The maple trees around me planted on the sidewalk were turning a vibrant orange, and the air was crisp and clean. Cars zoomed around the busy street before me, and young adults and what appeared to be businessmen darted around the sidewalk. There must have been a seminar happening on the campus just down the road that was covered in apartments, and a string of businesses. I started walking with the flow of people, but much slower because of my locked up and weak legs. I saw some people look at me as they darted past me. I did not know if they were staring at me for my waddle, or my skeletal body or even my almost transparent skin. Perhaps it was something else, but my self esteem was focusing on the sudden attention. I just continued to look ahead, whether it be at the growing and claustrophobic buildings or the nearly cloudless sky.
Finally after about thirty minutes of wobbling around and my lungs on the verge of collapse just from the rushed walking I saw a clearing on the opposite side of the road. It was the field to the front of the campus. It was a large and circular green field that had a perimeter of trees that looked like oak. If you follow up the cobblestone path it leads you to the almost gothic looking St. George Campus of Toronto. Most of these buildings surrounding this round were other department buildings such as the convocation hall, and the medical department that housed things such as biochemistry. There was a sharp right right across from the front of campus that I had to take to get to the college road. At the very end of the road were various restaurants including Dorian's Diner, a twenty four hour diner I had been working at for the past four years since I was eighteen. Surprisingly since the eighties reboot happening on campus fashion the diner was usually quite lively and my boss Chris Dorian was very kind in understanding my workload ability.
As I wobbled down the last stretch of road, I noticed two very strange figures darting around the crowd. While most people were students going about the daily grind, or suit clad businessmen walking towards the medical building across the busy avenue, these two wore dark trench coats and fedoras like Film Noir murderers. The one man was chatting to the other in a thick Italian accent, while the other was silent but incredibly tall. He towered over everyone at a minimum six foot four to maybe six foot six. It was hard with him darting incredibly agile around the crowd. I was so enamored with his footwork that I barely noticed that the person in front of me had stopped to check their phone and I ran into them. For a normal person this would be no big deal, but I had the strength of a toddler. My knees completely gave out and I completely collapsed on the hard asphalt. Something rolled out of my pocket, but I was focusing on the stinging on my elbows to notice at first.
"Watch it!" The voice above me hissed as they stomped away. People parted like the Red Sea as I tried to gain my bearings. I had gone down rather hard and had definitely scraped my elbows and quite possibly my knees. My entire body was shaking as I tried to muster up my strength in my legs which seemed like an herculean feat at the moment. I felt my heart thump in my chest painfully and I winced and grabbed my chest.
"What a spaz, she just fell over." I heard someone whisper to my right and my face exploded red. Of course all they would see is a girl who fell over, not a girl struggling from weakened genetic muscles and a weak heart and lungs struggling to not keel over.
"Are you alright young lady?" A thick Italian voice asked above me. The voice was deep and sounded handsome without me seeing the face. I raised my head and saw the two trench coat clad figures looming over me. I was clutching my chest and breathing heavily, unable to make a sound. I then touched my stomach to grab my pills, but the bulge was missing from my pocket causing a shock to make my heart hurt.
"Are you looking for this?" The other man held his hand out as he offered me the familiar orange bottle and I felt relief wash over me.
"Thank you." I reached out and my fingers brushed over his cold and pale ones. He yanked his hand away quickly from me and looked away from me.
"Let me help you up," The man with the thicker accent gently grabbed my upper arms and gently helped me to my feet. Despite my shaking and wobbling I managed to hold myself up.
"Are you okay? Should we call an ambulance, bella?" The shorter man asked with genuine worry laced in his voice.
"No, no, no, no. It's okay I have inconvenienced you enough. This just happens every now and then, but thank you though." I felt guilty for holding these men up with a menial event. The voices around me started to murmur again and the men straightened up.
"Luca we should go to your DMD seminar." The name perked me up as I looked under the fedora to see the smaller man's face. He was indeed quite handsome, with a strong jawline and boyish good looks. I felt pink rise to my face but I just looked at the asphalt.
"Thank you for your help but I need to get to work." The older man just grumbled under his breath in what sounded like annoyance, and maybe a twinge of grief. Unlike his compatriot, his accent was subtle, like he has been living in Canada for a few years and it had been fading.
"Of course bella, please stay safe." The younger man lifted my pale and thin hand to his mouth and placed a chaste kiss on my knuckles making me squeal in surprise. And just like that they twirled around and disappeared.