Ruben suddenly felt the tip of something big parting his buttocks. Even though he was seven he knew what this was. He had seen the magazines his brother hid under the mattress in their room. Panic now replaced the confusion he felt moments ago.
He wanted to run, but he knew if he did his mom would know what was happening. He didn't want his mother to see him like that. Paralyzed by fear and shame, he lied there with his eyes shut tightly, biting his clenched fist.
In one swift moment his father was inside of him. His father's penis was inside of him. He jolted in an attempt to run away, but there was nowhere to run. His small body was pushed against the wall. He felt a shot of pain that seemed to permeate his entire being. Tears streaming down his face, his father leaned in and whispered, "I'll make you feel good just like mommy."
Ruben closed his eyes and began to pretend it was a bad dream. He didn't know when he fell asleep, but the last thing he remembered was his father pounding him from behind before he blacked out.
When Ruben woke up, the first thing he felt was a sharp pain from his lower end and something sticky on his buttocks. Both his parents were out of the bed. It was a weekday, so his mom was probably in the kitchen making breakfast and his dad was already off to work. He quickly got up not wanting to be seen by his mother in this state but he quickly halted by the excruciating pain coming from his rear end.
He tried to move as quickly as he could manage, earnestly looking for his shorts. He found them near the bottom of the bed. Jackpot!! Dragging them on he headed to the backyard to wash up, as he felt something sticky threatening to run down his leg. His mom spotted him but just looked at him in what he thought was disgust. Did she know? Even though she was hearing impaired he feared she might have felt the movement in the bed. Not knowing what to think he scurried into the bathroom.
He scrubbed his body so hard that his pale skin began to turn a bright red hue. But even though he did all of that he still felt dirty. Giving up on this endeavor he turned off the shower and made his way to the bedroom he shared with his brother. Sam had already left for work. He dropped out of school to work at the local bakery, as he was failing every class. Their dad decided it made more sense to pull him out and put him to work instead.
Ruben quickly got dressed in his worn out uniform that he received as a hand-me-down from his brother and went to the kitchen to grab breakfast. His mom had made his favorite: eggs with toast for him. But today he didn't have an appetite. He managed a few bites before signing goodbye. She just looked at him the entire time.
As he walked to school he recalled his mother's gaze. It was one of total disgust. He clenched the straps of his bag together as he walked. Usually the walk wasn't too bad, but today he found himself limping. Every step more painful than the last.