Daisy:
Flashback.
"Daisy, come join us at the club tonight. Spencer and I will meet there." Gertrude whispered beside me.
I'm still looking at my laptop, determined to avoid her but I can still sense her presence and her scrutinizing stare, and knowing Gertrude, she will never take no for an answer.
"I'm not in the mood tonight. And Spencer? I don't trust that guy. How long have you known him? 3 weeks!"
"It's not about you not trusting Spencer! It's you, not trusting men in general!"
"Oh right! You got it." I took some papers and pretended she's not there but the pesky little insect slammed her fist on my table that startled me "Oh crap!"
"Don't you dare avoid me in situations like this? Come on Dee! You can't do this to yourself! You have to loosen up. Drink, and party, meet new people. Jake is now happy somewhere and you-"
"Whoa! " I cut her off "Stop right there. I am happy! I just don't feel like going out tonight. And it's not about him. Just please-"
I looked at her and there's the - I don't believe you- face again.
I breathed heavily and closed my eyes "Fine." I agreed. Just to avoid explanations and Jake talk.
She beamed a smile that shows her perfect white teeth "Great! Later alligator!" she kissed me on the cheek before heading out of my office cubicle. She gets what she wants, I know. I shook my head not believing that I allowed her again to get her way.
But I can't deny the fact that somehow, she's right. I spent 3 months torturing myself, asking where and when did I make a mistake to be treated like that by Jake. I was a mess when we broke up. I hardly eat and hardly go out. I mean, it's never my fault he cheated on me but why am I the one who can't be completely happy?
I know somehow, I have to put an end to it. This is the first time I'm going out after our break up. I never heard from him anymore. No hi, no hello. It's like he never even existed. He wiped me off his life completely.
Gertrude and Catherine never liked him in the first place. They're the ones who saw how was my relationship with him. In front of everyone's eyes especially in his parents, he's a great guy that loves me and that will never hurt me. Well, they're wrong. Jake hurts all that's alive in me. And he took away the little respect I have for myself when I caught him cheating. I was so stupid.
Jake asked for forgiveness and another chance, but I guess once is enough. Catherine said if he did it once, he'll do it again. Knowing Jake, I don't doubt it. He's like all the other men I dated. The only difference is that, with Jake, I thought it will last. But it was all a bluff. Just 12 hours after he begged me and I didn't forgive him, he's on another girl's lap yet again.
Going out tonight means allowing myself to meet new people. To expand the circle of my friends and to enjoy. I'm not going to stand in the way of my own happiness. I deserve this after all.
We went straight to the club after work, I didn't bother changing clothes, I'm still wearing my ripped jeans and purple sweater and a pair of ballerina flats. The club is not that fancy anyway and I never planned on getting male's attention. all I'm here for is to relax a bit and to forget the world for a while.
It's just liked the few clubs I've been to. Nothing special. Packed with people in groups, young adults screaming on top of their lungs, singing along and dancing in the music, smell of sweat, perfume, and liquor all at once.
Just like what Gertrude said, we found Spencer there in the corner booth with two other guys. "Daisy, meet Spencer." Gertrude introduced us, I look around to see if I knew anyone here and I realized I only knew a few people in my life. I'm not the type of person who is a Miss congeniality, I am friendly but friends are hard to find, especially when you haven't been to many places except your schools and job.
Drinks and food were ordered, we partied, dance, sing along and no one ever suspected what could go wrong.
Before I knew it I already consumed 6 tequila shots. My mind is starting to get hazy. And I tried hard to focus and compose myself. We spend the night exchanging stories, joking around, and dancing to the beat of the music.
I enjoyed listening to Spencer and Gertrude's banter. They're like kids. And going out tonight is not bad after all. Spencer seems like a nice guy and so are his friends, and I felt guilty of suspecting him to be a bad influence on Gertrude.
They say one thing you cannot ask from a woman who got hurt is her trust. You got to have to earn it but that doesn't mean I should stop trusting people altogether.
"Hey" Gertrude called my attention "Spencer wants you to keep this for a while."
I looked down at her hand with a small packet of pink pills "What's that?!" I asked.
"It's his medicine. He has an ulcer and he doesn't want to lose it. So, he said to ask you to take care of it knowing you won't drink much."
I just nodded cos I think it's already too late for -won't drink much- part. The alcohol made its way to my system. I took the packet from her hand and tacked it in the band of my pants, making sure it's secured.
"Okay, I'll keep it, but remind me about it in case I forget." I stood up.
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"I need to pee." She allowed me to go past her and I noticed she went back beside Spencer.
Thank God I was able to maze my way out of the crowd.
I reached the toilet in no time and once inside, the loud music subsided, giving me the peace, I longed for since we arrive here. No one's around so I took my time and closed my eyes, hoping for the headache to go away. I washed my hands and splashed my face with water after I peed and for a long time, I looked at myself in the club's dirty mirror.
I'm not pretty. There, I said it.
Well, that's been my mindset since my ex cheated on me. If only I am pretty, things would be different. If only I can kill a sexy dress or can apply perfect makeup. If only I have a pretty smile, shiny hair, glowing skin. But no, I don't. Here I am, indulging in self-pity again.
I wiped out the mascara residue in my face and breathed heavily. I took my phone and saw one text from Catherine reminding me not to drink too much. I smiled to myself. I really enjoyed the night but I think I've had enough. I'll go back upstairs and tell Gertrude I'll be heading home.
But before I open the toilet door, I heard two gunshots and screams.
What the fuck?!
Someone pounded the toilet door and it startled me. I just look at it for a while and it suddenly burst open, revealing a rattled club bouncer. "What the fuck are you doing here?! Get the hell out! The club's being raided!"
And as if cold water was thrown at me. Everything sinks in and I lunged for the door.
All I can hear is rapid footfalls and some ladies screaming. And from the dark corner, someone snatched my hand.
"Girl we got to move!" It was Gertrude.
"What the fuck is going on?!" I asked her.
"I'll explain later, for now, we really have to get out of here!"
So, we run with all the others. "Where's Spencer?!" I asked, half breathing half screaming.
"Don't mention that bastard!"
I knew it. Spencer. I'm going to kill him the next time I see him.
We're about to turn another corner outside the club when we heard sirens.
"Hey stop!"
Whoever that is, we didn't listen. Gertrude and I just run.
"Oh, shit Daisy run fast!"
"Fuck I am! This is as fast as I can go!"
I'm breathing heavily. Trouble. I can smell it. We've been running in like forever and I thought it's not going to end.
"I'm really sorry Daisy! That club's illegal!" That's the last thing I heard from her before we part ways on the alleyway.
"What?! I'm going to kill you!" I screamed on top of my lungs.
End of flashback.
So, I can't sleep.
Every time I close my eyes, I can see him. His sarcastic smile and his scrutinizing stare.
I wonder what he's doing tonight. Is he married? Does he have kids? Why did he choose to be a cop? Why is he there that night? I am so fascinated yet so irritated. What was his name?
And I wonder why I wanted to know all this thing. I hate the man. I hate him with all that's in me. He's means, arrogant, and a complete jerk. He drags me like a piece of paper in the air, the man is so full of himself and he even threatened to keep an eye on me. What a creep. But somehow, his firm grip on my arm still lingers. I touched the same spot where he held me and thought of how it felt in my arms, under my clothes, in my skin.
My phone vibrated beside me, forcing me out of my thoughts. I took it and saw a text from Gertrude. "Are you home now?" Gertrude asked. And just like that, I completely forgot my daydream.
The events earlier flashed back once again and the hate I felt towards Gertrude fueled the hate I feel for the man with the beautiful dark blue eyes.
Tomorrow will be another day.
I have to move on from this event. I hope my boss won't find out what happened tonight or my job will be put in jeopardy.
I want to sleep and wake up and find out it's just a dream, but If I do, then all of it will not be true.
I don't want him to be a dream.