Oasis Hospital. The most luxurious hospital in the Capital in City Z. Each city had a Capital where basic necessities of its citizen such as malls, schools, marketplace, hospitals, and parks, stood ground.
A desert-oasis environment reflected upon the institution. Adorned with glass ceiling, colorful lighting, murals, and sculptures placed throughout the inside, it gave off a very uplifting atmosphere. The open field was littered with small to medium size ponds shaded by tall palm trees and succulent plants. The air was crisp and refreshing. It was the paragon of heaven on earth. Nothing like the chaos and slaughter befalling the streets and ground beneath them.
Erica was resting on an all-white bed, her vital signs were being checked by her longtime psychiatrist, Giselle Lopez. The only source of light was from a lamp on the desk. She shifted her eyes to Zeke but he diverted his gaze and parked himself outside the room. The pain in her head had already declined to a light throb after her nap in the car and the medication Giselle had given earlier. Fortunately, her episodic migraines lasted only in hours.
"Your vital signs are normal. I think I know what brought this on." The doctor casually gauged the calendar on her table and whispered, "So...it's finally here."
"Yes." Erica croaked, staring at the ceiling.
"How many migraines did you have this month?"
"Only two. I forgot to bring my medicine with me. I...had a lot on my mind."
"Care to share what happened this week?" Giselle stood then transferred herself beside Erica. Her voice was almost inaudible for the doctor to hear.
"A few days before, a police came in front of our apartment. When I came back from work, I saw that they had retrieved dead bodies in a manhole."
Giselle leaned forward and held Erica's hand, an inquisitive expression on her face. Erica already knew what she was going to ask.
"I did what you told me. Breathing and grounding techniques. I managed to drown it out before it worsened."
"But did you feel like you wanted to isolate yourself?"
Erica waved her hand, her strength finally returning. "Even if I want to, I can't. The smell of Mom's cooking made me want to stay in the kitchen."
Giselle laughed and patted her hand, "I'm really proud of you. You've come this far."
Erica dropped her gaze and said, "But...after that incident, I dreamt of him. One good, one bad."
"What did you feel?"
"I felt anxious at first but I didn't let it escalate."
"But how did you cope after you had the dreams?"
Erica stared at Giselle before replying honestly, "I distracted myself by working nonstop."
Giselle was a damn good doctor who listened well and didn't judge. She was a tower of strength for a person like her who had suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. She had helped her get back on the track so the thought of lying didn't occur to Erica. Her doctor didn't deserve that.
Giselle nodded slowly then looked at her through narrowed eyes. "I know you have integrated this avoidance strategy as a defense to protect yourself from your feelings but we've already established that it's an unhealthy coping mechanism, right?"
"Yes. I know that." Erica bit her lips then explained, "But my mind was blank the whole time. Not because I was thinking of it but because I was too focused on the task in hand that a single thought of him never crossed my mind."
Giselle raised a brow. "But look what it got you now, lying in my hospital bed. The lack of sleep and the emotional and physical stress brought you the migraine. You should've taken a leave." She straightened herself, returning to her professional poise. Now smiling, she continued, "Though I doubt that's what you would choose. Anyhow, this is totally understandable given that it's his anniversary. I believe in you, Erica and I know you will refrain yourself from doing that again. This time is an exception since you're about to face your biggest battle yet."
Giselle held her shoulder, looking straight in her eyes. "Tomorrow, you can't back out anymore. You can't run away with your tail between your legs. You will let it out all of your system and I want you to surround yourself with people you deeply care about as you do that. They will be your anchor so don't leave any residual feelings behind. Your vulnerability at that moment is not a weakness but courage. It is no easy feat to face your feelings head-on after keeping them for so long but you are much much stronger now, Erica. We did our best to prepare you for this. So, go and show yourself to him. He will be glad and proud to see you again."
Erica nodded. She was right. After suffering from her mental disease for almost two years where she thought all was lost, she had miraculously bounced back and it was all thanks to Giselle's guidance, her family's unyielding love and determination, and her friends encouragements and acceptance.
Tomorrow, it was time to meet him again.
"By the way, how's your so-called therapy with Zeke going? You know, even if I officially considered you healed last February, sometimes I still worry about you because of that. I find it difficult to understand what is enjoyable about it. Aren't you afraid?" Giselle shot her a look of grimace.
"Not at all. It makes me...happy and that's saying something. I guess this is my new passion now." Erica gave a crooked smile.
Giselle sighed and picked up a prescription pad. "Fine. So long as you visit me every month until this year is over and keep yourself safe, I'll continue to support you. I'll be prescribing you medication for your migraine. Do you need sleeping pills?"
"Sure. Might need in the future." Erica maneuvered herself to her feet.
"Hopefully not." Giselle frowned and passed the prescription to her. "Also, keep doing martial arts. Science says, physical activities or exercise can do more than release endorphins and improve your mood so continue that."
She nodded again. "Thank you as always, Giselle. I appreciate your help after all this time."
"Don't go sentimental on me, girl. Just remember to visit me. Understand?" Giselle wagged a finger at her, making her chuckle.
Erica opened the door and the lonely Zeke immediately stood up with a phone on his ear.
"Yes...yes Auntie. They just finished. I'll be bringing her home then."
Erica waited for Zeke to end his call with her mother. She was sincerely grateful for this guy. Zeke had supported her in more ways than one. It could even take her forever to pay off what he had done for her. But she knew he would never accept compensation. He had always responded that a laugh or a meal from her would plentiful, making her guilty sometimes. That was how benevolent Zeke was. But she swore as long as she lived, she would definitely repay him a hundred-fold.
Zeke beamed and he clamped at Erica's shoulder while ruffling her hair. "You're back, ass-kicker."
"Don't move my head!" Erica swiped at his hand and glared at him. The two went to the pharmacy after exchanging banters and Zeke sent her home thereafter.
As soon as Erica planted herself before her home, the door opened by itself, revealing her mother. With her hand in midair and her face etched with remnants of lethargy, Erica saw creases form in her forehead. She just made her mom unhappy.
Julia reached out and hugged her tight. "My poor baby. I should've known you were still suffering."
"Mom? You were home?" Erica patted her mom's back, her lips curling up a bit.
"Yes. I was here since 4 PM. Come inside now. I readied the bath for you." Julia lightly tugged her then supported her towards the master's bathroom like she was a porcelain doll.
Erica sighed helplessly at her mother. After her fantastic dip in the tub, she felt good as new as if she didn't undergo hellish pain a while back. Just as she was about to cross over to the living room, Julia hounded on her, firing questions one after another.
"How was the bath? How do you feel? Do you need any help? Do you want some cookies?"
Erica inwardly rolled her eyes with love. "Mom, you're acting like a mother hen. Relax. I'm fine now. Cookies would be incredible."
Julia quickly dashed to the kitchen. Erica palmed her face and sat down. Her mother was too cute and too nice for this world. It didn't deserve her. Julia came back with a glass of warm milk on one hand and gooey cookies on the other. This was royalty treatment and she was gladly receiving it. She dunked the cookie in milk first and chomped, nearly dancing in her seat. Cookies are the fucking best.
"You baked these? So good."
"Yes. I baked them when I heard you were in the hospital. Why didn't you tell me you're having nightmares again? I thought you were over it." Her mother sulked, passing on the guilt to her.
She pursed her lips. That couldn't be helped since she was a master at masking her emotions. Besides, she had it under control. She sighed in adoration and breathed in the affection her mother was giving. What a blessed daughter she was for having a Julia as her mother.
"Mom, Giselle also told me I was doing great. It's just that, this month is different and you know why."
"I'm mad at myself as well. I should've known. I overlooked it seeing that you were not showing any symptoms until now. Trauma was never easy to get over with." Julia ran an exasperated hand through her hair, her voice wavering.
She felt her heart clench and she embraced her mother with all her might, "Yes. It is never easy. I am not cured. The fact that I experienced trauma will never go away. My symptoms may come and go but I have learned to deal with it. It is a part of my life now but you don't have to worry because I will stay strong. I have all of you with me. So don't scorn yourself, okay? It's not your fault."
Julia's eyes started to water as she grasped her hand in her own. "But don't pretend in front of me again. You must let me know so I can help you. I can't bear to see you in that state again, Erica."
"I won't be like that again, Mom."
Sniffing, Julia wiped her eyes. "Sleep with me, dear. It will only get more painful tonight."
"Okay." Erica veered herself sideways to fumble her bag for the sleeping pills.
She took two pills, wishing for it to black her out until morning. After that, they both went to the master's bedroom. Julia tucked her to bed like she did when she was a child. She was melting in honey as sweet as her mother. She drew in air to drown out the threatening anxiety pulling her then closed her eyes.
𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦.
But life was a bitch. That night, she was inside the nightmare.