"The Force enhances everything about you. From your reflexes to your thinking and other bodily functions. If you need to jump higher, run faster, fight longer it will provide it all. But you do not control it, you are merely a conduit, a receiver to let it flow through you if you will. Also, remember to keep your arms straight," Shaddoc gently reminded me.
I was performing a handstand against a wall in the sitting quarters and sweat was dripping down my face constantly.
"Is this how you were taught to learn how to use the Force?"
"No actually, I learned in the Jedi Temple around other younglings first, under Master Yoda. He teaches all of the children brought to the Temple among others until they are chosen to be an Apprentice. Afterwards I stayed on Coruscant for quite a while, in the safety of it all. I didn't go out in the universe until I was a man and by that time I was partnered with Contrillo for most of my missions as Jedi Knights. The level of danger was always minimal until the Clone Wars, when fighting became all we knew. You can come down now, you look like you're about to collapse like a baby Eopie taking its first steps."
I was laying on the ground breathing in chunks of air as soon as he said I could come down. "So you didn't…..have to do training like this…..or be pushed as hard as you're pushing me. Should I think of this as lessons…..or are you trying to break me down and build me back up too?"
A cold sensation appeared on my chest and I looked down to see a bottle of water there.
"You can see this as my way of training you so that you can access the Force in any kind of situation you find yourself in. Jedi have gotten used to being in danger but it was never the first thing to happen in a given situation before. But with the Clone Wars and the galaxy in turmoil the past decade and with the possible extinction of the Jedi Order, I'm afraid danger will turn into the new norm for us. And I want you to be able to feel the Force is always with you, wherever you are, whatever kind of situation you're in, even if you think you have nothing left to give the Force will sustain you."
"Can food sustain me for right now?"
I heard him chuckle, the smug bastard. "Only if you can reach it."
"I'm just glad you aren't beating me if I complain! Uuuuuuuugh! It's so far!" I used the wall to struggle to my feet. I slid along it with my chest more than my arms since they felt like slime and wheezed once I was fully standing. "Is this all for today?"
"Just some meditation I have planned that can wait until after food and a shower. You've made some great progress these last two days and I need time to write down some more passages about the Force that I can remember. Now that the Jedi Temple is gone only my memory and whatever is out in the galaxy is left of Jedi teachings from the past. Most of it will never be recovered," he finished in a whisper.
"Was the Jedi Temple on Coruscant the only place to learn to be a Jedi? With how far out in the galaxy you and Wamo got, I'd imagine you'd have some places you could stop at instead of going all the way back to the Temple."
As we spoke I bent backwards slightly and could hear my spine crack in a couple places relieving some tension and pressure that had built up. Next was my neck and shoulders, then down to my waist.
"We had a few places that were friendly to Jedi or remote Temples that were safeguarded and taken care of by Jedi assigned to them. Only a few were off the books and kept hidden, but with how well the Temple on Coruscant was destroyed, I can't imagine those are safe anymore."
"You think you'll-ah!-want to check them out to make sure?" a loud crack from my lower back broke up my sentence.
"Contrillo and I would have to get out of here first and it would be on the list of many things for us to do if we want to survive. But it would need to be soon so as to avoid any traps laid by the Empire and to ensure the Legacy of the Jedi is preserved."
"You really think the Empire will try and wipe out all the Jedi?"
I saw his back turn as I was bent over touching my toes and finished up to follow him to the kitchen. "It's not the first time in the history of the Jedi that we were almost wiped out by the Sith. At one point thousands of years ago there was a galactic war between the Sith Empire of old and the Old Republic that Jedi were allied with. It wasn't much different than the Clone Wars but the Jedi had been pushed back to our home world of Tython where we tried to regroup and rebuild what was left. We were able to rally and turn back the Sith Empire, but unlike then we've been scattered this time and gone into complete hiding. I can't say for sure."
As we reached the counter I saw the Chef was just finishing up meals for us, nothing we had asked for but over the past two days we would stumble on him leaving out food for everyone to try. This time it was a sort of broth mixed with bread from Mon Cala that Shaddoc showed me we were supposed to submerge before eating. He ordered me some Meiloorun juice since I wasn't allowed to drink alcohol when I trained and a better diet was good for me.
"Alright so how did the Jedi of the Old Republic manage to win and come back to power? I'm guessing that's the only thing that could happen considering the Jedi Order has reigned supreme the last couple centuries."
He let out a deep sigh, "The Jedi Order did not "reign supreme". We brought peace and order to the galaxy along with the Republic and ensured the Light Side of the Force won."
"Yeah that sounds an awful lot like reigning supreme to me. You won the war, wiped out the other side-sorry, thought you wiped out the other side-and had everyone recognize that you had power to rule over all of them."
"The Jedi were the protectors of the Republic and helped to reinstall it back into power. We then worked tirelessly to ensure the people of the galaxy were safe and could rebuild after the war."
"Which then lead to the circumstances that helped the then Senator Palpatine rise to power as Emperor Palpatine, and bring us all together. The Kid might be onto something."
I turned and Zavart was walking up to us with a datapad in his hands. He perfectly slid into a chair at the bar and absentmindedly accepted the same broth I had as he focused on the information in his hands.
"You've looked at datapads nonstop since the day before last, what's on it?" I noticed Shaddoc had evaded what was said but my interest was also piqued.
"I'm reading statistical reports of Ugnaughts that have been taken by the Empire."
Awkward turn for the conversation to take. I just turned back to my food as they continued to talk.
"Is something amiss with the numbers?"
"Yes, they're increasing at a faster rate than before. Almost like they don't care how they acquire Ugnaughts."
"Does this group normally keep track of all Ugnaughts?"
"Yes they do, among other things. Didn't the Jedi order keep track of how many of you went to places and stayed there?"
"Well it was a little more open minded then that. Yes we'd get missions that the Counsel would recognize the need for Jedi intervention or a Jedi mediator or we could explore the galaxy ourselves and find new things to return to the Order and expand its database of knowledge. We could also train our Padawans in this way to expand their life view so that they could connect with the Force more."
"I've been reading up on that, the way the Jedi train themselves and their disciples, makes me wonder how Count Dooku could have separated and founded the Separtist Alliance. Makes you wonder about what kind of teaching he had."
I felt a slight chill in the air and Shaddoc's arms tightened.
"Count Dooku was trained by Master Yoda, one of the greatest Jedi Masters in history and who you met aboard Senator Organa's ship. Count Dooku was seduced to the Dark Side for whatever reason it was and failed his Master."
"Shaddoc we get it you have a hard on for the rules of your Jedi Order and anyone who breaks them are evil," Zavart finally put his datapad down while throwing up his hands. "But people don't just get 'seduced by the Dark Side'. It's been with them all their life and it grows and it festers and they choose to embrace it even before the so called 'seduction'."
"Is that what happened to you? Did you let it grow and fester and become your whole life when you embraced it?"
I stopped eating and felt the awkwardness rather clearly. Seeing as I was the only one that knew even a little about how Zavart was taught I wanted to speak up but glancing at him had me thinking I should shut my mouth and eat more.
"I was swallowed by it. Given no choice on which path to take I walked the only one in front of me and yes, let it grow and fester and finally embraced it as my final lesson. If I had been able to I would have done everything differently, I didn't want power or anger or pain to chart the path of my life but it did because I wasn't strong enough to fight."
"You're strong enough now. You always have the choice to make amends and change your path. Turn towards the Light Side—"
"And spit in the face of everything I went through to make me strong? Everything I sacrificed and the pain I endured to mold me into the person that allowed me to rise above the animal or monster I was meant to be? Or that allowed me to bare the incarceration that you threw me into no questions asked? And who knows, maybe Clone Troopers would have come to my planet and kill me if I had been on your Light Side. No, I may use the Dark Side of the Force as you say but to me it was always just the Force. Nothing evil about it and I am not the same as those that wiped out your Order."
"You don't have to be the same as my Order! My Order is gone! Wiped out! Killed! I felt their deaths through the Force light years away!" Shaddoc had suddenly stood and his drink tipped over spilling everywhere. "Men, Women, even Children! My Friends! My Brothers and Sisters! My Teachers and Students! You've told me multiple times already I can break away from the rules that have stifled my whole life so why can't you seek redemption for what made you side with the Dark Side! The same kind of people that KILLED my family!"
"BECAUSE I KILLED MY MOTHER!!" Zavart roared jumping up and getting in his face. I had fallen backwards when he did which allowed them to stand almost nose to nose. I laid on my back staring up at them and felt like I could feel the anger rolling off of each other and colliding. "My 'final lesson'! My 'graduating test'! The man who trained me was a Mercenary! He crashed on our planet and took it over and squatted IN MY HOME! An intruder! A threat to MY FAMILY broke in and took it over! Does that sound familiar 'MASTER JEDI'?"
Shaddoc's neck flinched back but he stayed his ground.
"My mother convinced him to train me! Said she would pay credits to fix his ship and make him live like a King. She had enough from being a field medic before the Clone Wars from all the people she saved who gave more in gratitude. He agreed, leaving the Ugnaughts alone unless he was taking booze from them. Every day he trained me and he slowly became a drunk alcoholic. He couldn't wake up unless he smelled the stuff and he couldn't function unless he had three bottles before midday. For three years I endured it with only my back to show for my struggle but I progressed. Eventually I was close to rivaling him after training myself with his Holocron when he was passed out drunk. Then one day after almost 4 years of training he got really drunk, went on a spree of lashings and whippings. Said I was going to complete my training or die. He chained my Mother down and ordered me to kill her, said either I kill her myself or he would kill us both and everyone in the village. I didn't know what to do, I wasn't strong enough," his voice cracked and he was crying. At this point he had sat back down already and it seemed like he couldn't stop talking. Like he needed to say this.
"My Mother told me it was okay, that I wouldn't turn out like him even when I did what he ordered me to do! She accepted her death at my hands because she knew it would be quick. And after I killed her I strangled him with my new power, with my HATE," he raised his head and locked eyes with Shaddoc and I caught a glimpse of orange again. "I lifted him into the air like he was toy and squeezed his throat with the Force. I took my time and watched as he kicked and struggled and cried and soiled himself. I drank in his suffering, his panic, his desperation! I hated him; and after he was dead I hated myself more! That is what led me down my path! That is the redemption I can never have! That is my curse to bear that will keep me where I am!"
His chest rising and falling with every heavy breathe he took. The silence that filled the room was deafening, even the cook had stopped.
"Zavart."
We all turned as one and saw Captain Ilawatizo and Master Wamo standing at the entrance to the separate rooms. They obviously caught most of this conversation.
"Your Mother would not want you to hold this guilt about her. She'd want you to rise above it."
Only then did I realize almost everyone had a weapon in their hands and Wamo was trying to use a gentle tone to bring the situation back under control.
"You're wrong Master Wamo, my Mother IS proud of me for using my power like I do. Over the course of my training the man had let pirates and slavers and thugs come in and take as many as they wanted. I protected the Ugnaughts that were left in my village from that day forward. After I killed my Teacher I slaughtered any that tried to invade our town and take more from us for the next five years. The lightsaber I have I built with her and was given her blessing on how to defend myself. She saw the ugliness of war and the galaxy and knew that someone with power and a moral compass to kill those that needed to be killed was a necessity."
"Killing should never be a necessity or a first resort! It should only be the very last option to be taken when everything else is unavailable!" Master Wamo tried desperately to reason with him.
"Would you still say that, if you had found the Sith Lord that would destroy your Order and kill everyone you know before it happened?" She reeled backwards from his question and couldn't speak for a moment. He rounded on Master Shaddoc then. "If you had the man responsible for the Genocide of the Jedi Order at the end of your lightsaber and could kill him before it happened, would you do it? Or would you spare him, knowing no matter what Judge he went before, no matter what Court he stood inside of he'd be found innocent and the death of everyone you know would still happen. Could you stop yourself from killing him?"
A pregnant pause was in the room, the adults were all tense waiting for someone to make a move, lightsabers and blasters were in everyone's hands, even the cook.
"No," finally Shaddoc spoke, sagging into his chair and holding his head with both hands. "No I couldn't. If I had Emperor Palpatine at my mercy and could prevent the Jedi from being destroyed as it was I'd have taken his life in an instant."
"Yul'hara…"
"I would hope it wouldn't change me, but I know that would be a lie. Even if the other Masters on the Council and every other Jedi in the Order understood and supported my decision I would not be able to live with it and I would leave the Jedi Order."
"Well I couldn't leave. I had to stay, to protect the Ugnaughts that still lived there or else the death of my Mother would have been for nothing. My torture would have been for nothing. My training would have been for nothing."
Zavart helped me up then after having had clipped his lightsaber to his utility belt. It seemed like everyone else in the room calmed down a little at that and lowered their weapons.
"I apologize Zavart. It seems I'm already going back on our deal without meaning to."
He walked over to Shaddoc then and placed a hand on his shoulder, "We may never see eye to eye on the methods we use to protect those close to us, but we are both on the same side now even with our recent past. I won't hold this against you, it's barely been a couple days and we're still trying to adjust to each other. ALL of each other."
Zavart eyed Master Wamo for a moment who just held his gaze.
"So we're good now right? All of us? Everyone can put their weapons away now?" The Captain asked no one in particular.