The next few minutes were of absolute chaos, with Elle moving faster than she ever did before in her life except maybe that one time when the next door neighbor's damn dog took away her new $700 Manlo Blahnik shoes as chew toys and wouldn't give them back until she played a little 10 mile game of chase with him.
Off came the dirty bathrobe, all the dirty dishes shoved into the cupboards, soiled clothes haphazardly pushed underneath the couches, and a flurry of changing clothes, hair brushing, and breath mints found Elle breathless and panting like a dog on a 100+ degrees record-breaking summer day without a hint of H20 in the vicinity.
Somehow she managed to make it to the door without collapsing and opened the door…before she lost her nerve and escape through the back door (which unfortunately did not exist in her apartment) or kitchen window.
A beautiful young girl stared at her, luminous eyes opened in wonder and curiosity. "Miss Chen?"
Elle nodded, unable to reply with her current lack of oxygen. Still breathing heavily, she motioned Ariel in and closed the door. Leaning on the door, she closed her eyes, tried to remember her $300 per class yoga meditation lessons and breathed.
\In and out. I am one with the Earth. In and out. Energy flows out of me and through me. Ommmmmmm...\
"Are you ok?" The soft voice asked, timid and caring at the same time.
Elle's eyes snapped open and stared at the young girl sitting on the couch at the very same spot where she had devoured two helpings of Luigi's eggplant parmigiana, three helpings of pork fried rice, as well as some delicious donuts all at one time last night.
Her taste buds automatically responded to the fond memories and began to salivate.
\Great, you're meeting your illicit lover's wife for the first time and all you can think about is fast food? Must be the stomach talking…or the vomit monster…\ She winced.
"Just peachy," replied Elle, relieved that she was able to tear her mind away from the droolworthy food and sat down besides Ariel, hiding two empty Chinese fast food cartons from her view and kicking another empty box of double mint chocolate chip Oreo cookie dough ice cream under the couch.
She distractedly reminded herself to buy more when she turned into the Big Abyss of Neverending Hunger again tonight.
"Well, I don't know how to say this but…" Ariel raised her sorrowful eyes up to gaze at Elle's face.
"I just didn't know…Jake's never been unfaithful…and I tried to do everything…didn't know…until…until…I…saw that…oh God…" and her incoherent speech ended into equally as incoherent sobs.
She threw her slender body into Elle's arms, sobbing onto her shoulder.
\Just my luck that she's the perfect, ever-caring, generous, beautiful angel kind of girl who's heartbroken because she found out that her perfect husband was not as perfect as she thought he was. What's wrong with a good old fugly cruel dictator of a bitch wife nowadays? At least then I can bitch and snarl right back.\
Elle was suffering massive remorse for her sinful actions and felt wicked before this naïve and saintly girl.
She was pretty sure that Ariel probably went to church every Sunday and volunteered at soup kitchens and retirement homes. She was the kind of girl that was little Miss Perfect, Daddy's Little Girl, and was a virgin when she finally got married to the man of her dreams, which brought Elle's thoughts back into a full circle.
Too bad that he was also the man of HER dreams. "Uh…there, there."
Two full boxes of Kleenexes (Elle had a handy supply available since she WAS still in breakup mode, requiring more tissues than normal humans would be able to finish using in a year), a cup of her favorite lemon tea, and an interminable replying of "It's going to be alright. Just calm down. Everything's going to be ok's", Ariel finally felt ready to explain why the hell did she swoop down on Elle's already miserable existence of a pitiful life, embroiling her in more turmoil and torture.
"And…I…I…had no clue…NO IDEA that he was cheating on me…could not believe it…"
Her little spouts of denial and refusal to accept the inevitable were punctuated by little hiccups caused by the sobs.
\God, even her d*mn HICCUPS sound cute and elegant.\
When Elle cried, tears turned her into a red, runny nose, eyes scrunched face of horror…in conclusion, she looked like hell's own version of what a baby with an earache taking a dump should look like. Not a pretty sight.
"But..but when I fo...found out, he tried to deny-deny it…saying that they-they were just 'good friends'…" and the sentence was followed with a loud wail and the expenditure of two more tissues.
Elle's heart was tha-thumping all over the place, wondering when she was going to start condemning her into the fiery depths of h*ll for having an affair with her "perfect" husband.
"…I thought he-he-he promised to change…because…because of our ba-baby…"
\That makes the two of us\
Elle knew that if Jake was here now that she would make him explain and finally choose whom he wanted to be with.
Preferably after he was submitted to some cruel and unusual punishment, with a cheese grater and salt. (I'll leave this torture scene up to your imagination)
Tears welled up from her own eyes and slowly trickled down her cheeks.
\But then again, he already did choose.\
Surreptitiously, she wiped away her own tears.
"…HE was bad enough…but SHE…"
Elle closed her eyes, preparing to feel shame like she's never felt before.
\This is it…this is, wait, SHE?!\
"I just knew that he wasn't doing business every single time with Miss Angela Zhang. But NO, I kept denying it. I mean, he couldn't even tell me himself. I had to find out for myself. It's a good thing that I have somebody who I know will tell me the truth. That's why I decided to come to you…his half sister."
"HALF SISTER?" squeaked out Elle incredulously, her mind all a-whirl.
\What the hell is going on?!\
Vertigo was overcoming her senses. She felt like she was on a roller coaster, going 234 miles a minute. There was no way that what Ariel just said made a single iota of sense.
Since when was she and Jake effin' related?!!
\OH MY GAWD!\
"Uh-huh…I just knew that you can explain everything to me, right? To finally enlighten me to the truth. I want to know everything," Ariel opened her tear-filled eyes in earnestness.
She truly believed that even though Jake lied to her about his unfaithfulness, he didn't lie to her regarding other matters.
"Tell you? Explain everything?" peeped Elle, wondering what the hell she was going to say. "Um, you see, Ariel, your husband and I-"
Ding dong!
\Saved by the bell!\
Elle excused herself and ran to the door, flinging it open.
\Please tell me it's a kidnapper or a loan shark or somebody that can get me the h*ll out of here ASAP!\
Jake stood there in all his glory, smirking.
"Hey babe, I've missed you."
He stepped over the threshold and embraced Elle in a bone-breaking hug.
And then, the piece de résistance, he proceeded to give her one of the most passionate kisses in the history of the world.
Ariel's voice entered the middle of the kiss. "Elle? Who's at the door?"
\EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP\