March 9
I'm here today at Clairs funeral. It's raining terribly outside. It seems fitting for a glum day at a funeral, but it only brings back memories of how much Claire loved the rain, making for a more miserable day than it already is. Her death is my fault, my daughter is two years old and has no idea why she will never have a mother. If only I didn't go outside last Wednesday, if only I wasn't glowing, then my daughter would be safe and still have her mother. I never wanted my daughter to see her mother dead, even though she was to young to understand so I left her home with the babysitter. I worry that I will have to give her up, that I will have to leave her to someone who can protect her better than I ever can. I worry that I will only bring danger upon her.
I am throwing flowers in my dead wife's casket and I have no idea what to say about her. I wanna celebrate her life even though it was short, not her death. I only got to spend five years of my life with her. Me and Claire have only been married for three years. The second year was when she gave birth two our beautiful daughter Ava. The priest spoke loud and clearly throughout the ceremony but I drowned out the noise with all these thoughts running through my mind. These horrible thoughts and fears were like a never ending train and my mind was the track. "Would anyone like to speak about Clair today?" asked the priest. I am thankful in this moment that he'd asked, because I feel a mental breakdown coming before the speech. I dragged my feet up the steps to the podium and nearly tripped. I begin to shake before I start speaking but I know I can't embarrass myself any more than I already had.
"We are gathered here today, to celebrate Claire's life, not her death, because death is depressing and she would not want us to be depressed. Claire was far from depressed. In fact she was the most happy joyful person I knew. It hurts me so much that my daughter will grow up without a mother, but she will forever be Ellie's guardian angel. She will also be mine and I want to make her happy in death, so I will be happy while living for Claire. Rest easy my love. You will forever be in my heart."
The tears trickling down my face are tears of guilt. I can see everyone staring through me. Why wouldn't they be? I'm glowing and the speech I gave about Claire was terrible. I can't shake the self loathing I am forced to face because there is something physically wrong with me. I could go to the hospital to find out why I'm glowing but I'll only end up in a lab somewhere. It is about 12:30 p.m. and I'm saying my goodbyes ready to leave the funeral.
I'm relieved to finally drive home to my daughter where my anxiety can't attack me anymore. I start my car and back out of the parking space. I skipped the post-funeral luncheon. I'm taking the backroads in order to prevent getting pulled over for speeding. I normally don't speed but when your family is in danger every minute of the day you have to do everything you can to keep them safe and I am eager to make sure Ava is okay. I look down at my phone to check the time which is 12:45 p.m. then look back up. Scrreeeee! I slam on my breaks as I find someone standing in the middle of the road right in front of my car. I am currently two blocks away from home. I can't tell if it's a man or woman. They are dressed in all black, wearing what appears to be a hoodie and black slacks with knee-high black boots.
Just as I am staring at the boots I see them start walking towards my car. I put the car in reverse as I look in my center rear-view mirror only to see someone else standing behind me then just as I go to look in front of me I hear knocking on the driver door window. I look over to my left to see the first person I had seen continuously knocking on my window. As I reach down and go to switch my car to drive I realize my car is turned off but I don't remember turning the key.
The knocking stops for just a second and I turn my car back on. I look left and see what looks like the sinister smile of a woman. The hood of the hoodie she wore covered her eyes and nose. I kept trying the keys but my car kept startling. The mysterious woman then starts pounding her fist on my window and doesn't stop even when her fist starts bleeding. I fumble for my phone to call the babysitter as my window is cracking at the pressure of her fists. The window suddenly shatters and I begin to feel suffocated.
The suffocating has finally stopped. The bell rang. I look up to see halls that are flooded with kids. I am at my school? Buffalo high school. I watch as cheerleaders and football players head toward the gymnasium for the rally. There are black and gold banners strung in the halls and the flag line girls march with with enthusiasm with their flags. "Milan!" I hear Layla shout. I smile and turn around only to find that Layla isn't there. The grim reaper is smiling and waving. But now I realize it's the woman who kidnapped me, and Layla is my ex girlfriend, so I'm not really here.
I open my eyes to find myself in a barn surrounded by hay bales and mysterious women. I try to get up out of the chair I'm in but my wrists are bound to it. The women are chanting under their breath in an ancient language. "Mustus evdue rechata" it sounds like they are saying. I'm not sure what it means but it must be in an ancient language I've never heard of, a spell maybe? There's no way I've been kidnapped by witches. What could they possibly want with me?