It's the little things, Goltebs ka talaga

I am a Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering. I am on my last year in Polytechnic University of the Philippines.

I have been through a lot of shits. I've struggling for 5 years, well, not just me... there are also my batchmates and those who are still doing their best to finish this degree despite the fact that they already stayed beyond 5 years in this University.

But, in this last year, an unseen enemy appeared. An enemy where we can't do anything to harm it, but it can. A one sided attack.

COVID19.

That, "Babawi nalang ako sa next quiz." is suddenly replaced with, "Hala! Sana makapasa ako."

Again.

I am a Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering. I am on my last year in Polytechnic University of the Philippines.

And I failed one subject.

"Shit, our plans." I muttered as I was looking at the blank text box of my Facebook messenger with faded letters 'Aa.'

This was not part of the plan! If I were to fail this one subject, how can we move to the next part of our plan.

I told my girlfriend that I failed. I didn't told my parents yet, because I am considering the possibility that we can still redeem ourselves.

And that tiny bit of possibility happen.

We are redeemed from failing the subject. And, I tried to open the topic up with my parents.

"Ma, pa, I'm planning to have a 1 year review." that's the original plan me and my girlfriend agreed with.

Ace the board exam and after that, reveal to everyone, literally everyone about us being on a relationship, especially with my parents.

"1 year review?! That's too long!" I know, but I want to ace the exam.

"Yeah, and review centers are expensive." Tsk! Do I have to apply for a part time job? But, I can't, this COVID19 Pandemic is still on going.

"Baka masayang lang pag-papaenroll namin sayo." (Translates: Maybe enrolling you for a review is just a waste of money).

That hits hard.

Way more painful than failing one subject.

I lost the will, to try passing tbe subject.

But, "Love, nandito lang ako para sumuporta sayo." (Translates: Love, I will always be here rooting for you.) If it weren't for tbis COVID19 pandemic, I would have gone to her right now.

Hug her tight. And let it all rain.

I can't give up. But, I can't easily ignore what my parents had just said.

A friend chatted, "We already wanted to celebrate, but, we can't yet. Our grades are not yet encoded!"

"I don't want to celebrate." I replied.

"What?! Why?!" he replied.

"Passing or failing doesn't matter." I replied.

"Goltebs!" (Translates: Sllab, read it backwards.)

*Sigh*

"Passing or failing doesn't matter It doesn't make any difference." I replied. Whatever the results are, my parents still thinks lowly of me.

"Goltebs ka, appreciate little things!" my friend replied. "You made it this far! It's the little things, Goltebs ka talaga!" He added.

*sigh*

I explained to my friend what my current situation is. And he replied, "Kahit kayo nalang ni bebe Bea mo ang mag celebrate. Goltebs ka talaga hahaha."

My friend was right.

I wanted to graduate, I wanted to take the board exam and ace it!

I fell asleep again, while talking with my girlfriend.

3:12 AM.

[24+ messages from Bea]

Everything wasn't pointless.

I opened the messages, a slight heartache and a smile accumulated. And I typed a reply.

...

...

...

I Love You, Bea.

I passed all my subjects.

One last time.

I am a Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering. I am on my last year in Polytechnic University of the Philippines.

I survived my 5 years in PUP. And now, I am Graduating this September 30.

"All power is his forever. Amen."

1 Peter 5:11