"OW!!! My head! Fucking migraine." Jaime groaned out. By the rate he's getting hammered in the brain, either he get some kind of of resistance. Or aneurysm.
"It's worse than that time I got suckered into that game with the football helmet and sledgehammer."
"Aspirin. Do I have any aspirin? Or any fucking medicine?" He checks his bag, then then scowls. "Yeah, forgot to get some meds. Fucking uncle dumped the paperwork last week so my trip to the drugstore got delayed."
"Oh, almost forgot my Inventory. Hmmm, how to access it again? Right, 'Inventory'."
'Ping!'
"Well, that's nice I guess? Oh, right, the 'Starter Box'. Forgot all about it with the headaches I'm getting. Maybe it has some medicine for my headache."
'ACCESS CONTENTS OF 'PREMIUM STARTER BOX'. AFFIRMATIVE/NEGATIVE?'
"Yes! Now gimme!"
'OPENING 'PREMIUM STARTER BOX'. OPENED. ACCESSING CONTENTS.'
'CONTENTS OF 'PREMIUM STARTER BOX' ARE NOW ACCESSIBLE TO THE USER.'
A box appeared in front of Jamie.
"Oooh, let's see what got."
"Oh, my first Skill Orb. First step to Ultimate Power, here I come!"
Jamie uses the Skill Orb.
"Oooh. 'Identify'. Nice, real nice. A must have, if what those 'Gamer' fanfics are to be believed. What's next?"
"Extra ten Ability Points and five Skill Points. Woot! Woot!"
"Hmmm, a box of 'Premium Ration Bars'. Let's see. 'Identify'. 'Premium Ration Bar. Provides 4000 calories and 200% daily nutritional requirements of an average human male.' There's fifty of them in the box." Jamie then thinks of something and suceeds in doing it. "Hehe. I can reseal the box and put it in the Inventory. Nice."
"A standard set of BDUs. Gonna switch to this. My clothes are fucking filthy. Urgh!" Undressing and dressing sounds. "Hey, it fits perfectly. 'Identify'. 'Resize' enchantment, very nice. 'Cleaning' enchantment too. Armor bonus is shit, though. Oh right, clothing not armor. Hmmm, wearing the entire set gives me a '+4 First-Time Meet Relation Bonus to Military-Tradition Individual, Groups and Facftions'. Really nice."
"A 'Klyne-Strathilde' brand PDA Wrist-Comp. Look really great. Nice and slim. Matte black with shiny chrome trim. Oh, a holo-screen. Really good visual fidelity. Let's put it on." A minute later. "Oh, I can intergrate this with my System HUD. Neat. Much better than having my face bombarded with too much notifications. I can use the holoscreen to project everything. And the apps are better than those available to the latest smartphones and PCs in 2020."
"Laser pistol from... Glock? How the... Oh right, future. Let's see. 6-12 Heat Damage per shot, can fire once every 1.47 seconds. Effective range of 100 meters, optimal is 50. Powered from the charge pack inserted in the handle." Looks at the spare' chrage packs'. "Wait. This just looks like a magazine." Inspects the charge pack. "Well, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Charge pack is good for 50 shots. Got 3 more of them with charging station."
"A compact fusion reactor." Jamie pauses in shock." Oh shit. This thing is really small, perfect for my 10L volume limit. And it even weighs just 8 kilos. How in the world did they make this so small and light" Jamie uses 'Identify'. "What the? It can fucking fuse plain hydrogen? That's even crazier. The eggheads in 2020 haven't even cracked stable fusion with Helium-3. I can even plug my power tools to its. Some things never really change, huh. Really nice."
"A few beginner blueprints." Yoink. "Huh, crafting recipes for basic clothing, scrap melee and ranged weapons, a fire pit that is upgradable to a forge or a cooking station, a chemistry station, a crafting station, containers of different types, and many more. That's really useful."
"A medkit? Score!" Jamie opens the medkit. "Oh, what's this. Medicated bandages, just peel and slap on the wound. 'Skele-grow' bone reconstructor, good for fixing broken bones. Blood replenishing pills, stimulates red and white blood cell production. And 'Medi-Pak', a medical nanite pill. Just drink and the nanites will fix any damage in the body. And a 'First-Aider's Field Manual'.
"Huh, my 'Tech' function just gave me a prompt to research the 'First-Aider's Field Manual'. Okay I guess. Research will be completed in 3 hours. Can't wait."
"And last but not the least is... a spear. No, a yǎnyuèdāo to be exact. Or more commonly known as a Guan dao."
"Okay, got my obligatory starter melee weapon. Let's see what it is. 'Identify'."
"WOOHOO!!! OH YEAH!!! SCORE!!!"
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
'ZAP!!!'
"ARGH!!! Fucking hell! Shitty System, what was that for? Ruin my fun, wouldn't you?"
"Anyways, this Guan dao is really fucking cool. It's named the 'Soul-Splitter Moon Blade-Staff'. Cheesy name, but it fits. The blade can be magically hidden, turning it into a staff. The staff can also split in two, turning it into two thick eskrima sticks. All four parts of the weapon (blade, shaft, base, tassel) can be upgraded to better materials. Three more spare slots for modifications. And the best thing of all? The Guan dao is 'Indestructible'. YES. Fucking means this weapon can withstand ALL kinds of punishment and never get a single scratch. And with the upgradability and transforming feature, no need to use any other melee weapon."
Shuffling noises.
"What was that?"
Shuffling noise getting closer to Jamie.
"What the hell is that thing?"
A rat. A rat the size of a regular size. Mangy, with sores and wounds dotting its body. A feral, hungry look in its eyes. And front teeth the size of daggers, ready to plunge deep into the flesh of its victim."
"Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! No, no, no. That's not a rat. That's not a fucking rat, that's a huge fuck-ass monster."
It IS a monster, you stupid kid. Just kill it already.
Then the giant rat lunges forward. Jamie panics.
And the giant rat impaled itself on Jamie's weapon. Oooh, spit roast style. The kid's got style, even if was accidental.
'LVL1 GIANT RAT SLAIN. 10EXP REWARDED. 10/1000EXP TO NEXT LEVEL.'
"Really, a giant fucking rat for ten, fucking, measly EXP points!" Jamie haltingly speaks while panting heavily. And looks at the impaled rat on the guandao.
Oooh, nice distance on the first hurl. Shame he can't get a second throw. His stomach's quite empty to begin with.
"Bleurgh! That's fucking disgusting." Jamie speaks while cleaning his vomit-filled mouth with water.
And accidentally looks at the rat corpse.
---After a few minutes of more hurling and questioning God the 'why' questions---
"Okay I'm good. I'm good. So what loot will I get. Come on System, show me the goods."
Silence.
"Don't tell I have to butcher that? Really, no magical drops or a loot bag?"
More silence.
"Fucking hell. Really System, please tell me how I can loot this thing? Please."
'AUTO HARVEST IT NOT AVAILABLE. MANUAL HARVESTING REQUIRED.'
'TO HARVEST A CORPSE OF A BIOLOGICAL BEING, USER MUST HAVE AT LEAST 1 POINT IN THE 'BUTCHERY' SKILL. FOR MACHINES, AT LEAST 1 POINT IN THE 'DISASSEMBLY' SKILL IS NEEDED. HIGHER LEVELS OF 'BUTCHERY' AND 'DISASSEMBLY' SKILL ALLOWS THE USER TO OBTAIN HIGHER-QUALITY HARVESTED PARTS AND UNLOCKS HARVESTING OF HIGHER-LEVELED ENTITIES' REMAINS.'
"I was hoping you wouldn't tell me that. What fucking choice do I have? Let's get this over with. And I'm gonna need to get 'Biology' and Anatomy' to unlock 'Butchering'. I'll gonna need a lot of Skill Points, don't I?"
Sounds of a knife cutting through flesh.
"Ew."
More squelching sounds.
"Okay, got the pelt off. It's a 'Low-Quality Pelt'. Wait, ow do I know how to do that? Fucking hell, does the 'Butchering' Skill teaches me how to butcher a corpse properly."
"That's... that's fucking awesome!"
"Oh, the possibilities are endless. Okay, never gonna complain to the butcher again. This is really hard and very precise work. Needed to dump 5 Ability Points each to Strength and Dexterity. Now, to finish this up."
Several minutes later.
"Phew, that's done. What did I get? A 'Lvl.1 Low-Quality Pelt', a kilo of 'Bonemeal', 3 kilos of 'Low-Quality Meat', 2 kilos of 'Gristle', 2 kilos of 'Diseased Meat', a 'Rat Heart', a 'Rat Brain', assorted internal organs, and 4 kilos of 'Butchery' Refuse. The 'Diseased Low-Quality Meat' can be purified, the 'Gristle' can be used in chemistry, the meat can be cooked. Rat roast... that sounds nasty. The bonemeal can used in farming or crafting. The refuse can be turned into compost. And the pelt needs processing to turn into leather."
"Right. Gonna need to find shelter. Or build one. That giant rat is just a Lvl1 monster. That means that is the weakest or one of the weakest monsters around here. Just look at that. I'd give it a 30% And I'm, very lucky it impaled itself on the guandao, and didn't get a bite or scratch on me."
"Now, where should I stay? There's a buidling about a kilometer... east, if my wris-comp is correct. I've got a few hours of daylight left. So I needed to go there, clean up the place is some monster lurk there, and fortify."
"Not gonna sit around here and waste time, that's for sure. Welp, let's get on to it."
"What could possibly go wrong?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
In the Realm of System Administrators:
"REALLY KID, REALLY! INVOKING FUCKING 'MURPHY EFFECT' AT THIS CRUCIAL TIME!!!" Administrator A shouts. "B, ACTIVATE THE PROBABILITY CALCULATION UNIT, STAT!!!
"ROGER."
Computer noises, numbers crunching and date digesting.
"GIVE ME THE RESULTS!" Admin 'A' orders.
Admin B reads out, "72.37% CHANCE OF HOSTILE ENCOUNTER. 82.7% CHANCE OF SAID HOSTILE ENCOUNTER BEING HIGHER-LEVELED THAN USER. 53.14% CHANCE OF ENCOUNTERING HOSTILE MONSTER GROUP, AND...."
"AND WHAT?" Admin 'A' demands.
"A 100% CHANCE OF SOMETHING WEIRD AND VERY FUNNY HAPPENING IN THE NEXT 6 HOURS."
"OF COURSE, WHAT FUCKING ELSE CAN BE THERE."
"WAIT... THERE'S MORE!" Admin 'B' reads. "THERE'S A 100% CHANCE OF USER GETTING HALF-NAKED IN THE NEXT 6 HOURS."
"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!!!"
"THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE OPENED YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!"
"OH DEAR." Admin 'C' interjects.
"WHAT?!!!" Admins 'A' and 'B' shouts at 'C' at the same time.
"PROTOCOL 'WILD CARD' IS ACTIVATED."
"OH...DEAR." was all Admin 'A' and 'B' can say.