Alyssa opened her eyes. Her eyelids were heavy, but her mind was fully awake. She probably slept for three hours or less. It felt like she just blinked for a second and it was already morning.
Her hair was not as frizzy as usual, probably because she just laid at her side, awake most of the night.
She propelled herself to a sitting position and stared at her empty room.
Eli did not wake her up--- one of the rare days where she woke up by herself.
"Right," She said groggily. "It's Saturday."
As a bargain, Eli would be at Doctor Natalie's for three days to assist her at her lab.
Eli was not standing at his usual position right at the door, instead, her table was crowded with plates.
Alyssa crawled away from her bed and sat at the table. She did not know what she ate nor drank, she ate soullessly, gulping each spoonful, burying what she witnessed last night at the farthest part of her thoughts--- at least she tried to.
After a night of thinking she managed to accept them--- to understand them.
She won't blame her people for wanting to survive.
She won't blame her family for wanting to be alive.
She won't blame her mother for wanting to be cured. Yes, even if at the expense of others.
It is a human's instinct to preserve one's life, it is not wrong for wanting to live.
But…but…
Alyssa is a human. She is not cured yet--- not until she pierces a dagger into her heart. The ceremony that once excited her now brought disgust into her. She did not want to be… a royal--- a real royal if that what it would take to be one. The thought of her devouring another human's brain makes her stomach sour.
Her dream ever since she was a child was shattered in just one night.
She put down her spoon on the plate with a thud, even a salad made her stomach convulse at this point.
Allyssa was sure of one thing though--- it was not her mother's fault.
It was the water of the gods, it was the cure and its consequences.
Maybe the cure was needed to save humankind from the time before, but not now. Not now that it had almost been eighteen years since the apocalypse happened.
They don't need the cure anymore, the kingdom will survive without it.
In order to save her kingdom and its people, Alyssa had to know where it all began.
'Where did the water of the gods originated from?'
Alyssa was sure she studied this before, she just did not take attention from it. She probably would need to review their history.
Or maybe, she could just ask her mother directly?
But It was doubtful that her queen mother will say anything. Not that when her queen mother built this kingdom from the ground up with the cure as its center.
Maybe Alyssa could find a way to reverse the effect of the cure.
It was heavy, a heavy responsibility to put herself into but one that she would have to do.
She suddenly stood up, she rummaged through her secret compartment and took a cassette player, she picked a random tape and listened to the music form the time before.
She closed her eyes, trying to let her mind be filled with the lyrics of the song, trying to shut the whispers in her mind.
She suddenly opened her eyes, and stared at her palm, she closed her hand into a fist--- hard. The water that is now flowing into her body, she did not want it anymore. She did not want to be poisoned like them.
No, her mother needs her. Alyssa had to save her family, and for that she would have to tear down the root cause of everything--- the water of the gods.
The room was quiet, but her mind was full of whispers.
All of her thoughts are rambled, knotted in impossible combinations. She knew she was not making a lot of sense.
For now, she had to empty her thoughts through music.
Beats and melodies filled her ears, relaxing her.
Alyssa wrapped her arms around her knees and did not move at all until the tape finished playing its last song.
***
One thread was untangled on Alyssa's thoughts.
Before anything else, she had to return a favor.
Alyssa was standing in front of Kiva with a guarded heart.
"Ali, I'm not so sure about this." Kiva was nervous, she was holding a black box, hesitating to give it to Alyssa. "What if father finds out?"
"Nobody will know unless you tell them." Alyssa said.
Kiva flinched from her cold words. "You know I won't tell…" Kiva lowered her head, feeling ashamed. "I…I…"
"Kiva, from now on," Alyssa grabbed the black box from Kiva. "You don't have to tell me anything, I'll find everything out myself… everything."
"Ali…" Kiva whispered, almost pleading. "You would not want to know, trust me."
"I have to Kiva. It's time that I have to." Alyssa held the box tight on the edge until her knuckles whitened. "Now, I have to meet someone, Thank you Kiva."
"Anytime, Ali."
Alyssa turned her back away from Kiva but pivoted one more. "Kiva?"
"Hm." Kiva was tapping the tip of her shoe on the floor.
"You're my people, right?"
Kiva nodded profusely. "Yes."
"You're not lying?"
Kiva shook her head from side to side.
"But there are things that you cannot tell me?"
Kiva nodded.
"What happens if you tell me."
Kiva looked at Alyssa's eyes with intensity and fear.
"Okay, I understand." Alyssa walked away from Kiva and on her way towards the person she promised to meet up with.
***
"Princess, it's nice to see you twice this week now." Barny pointed the seat in front of him. "Please seat."
Alyssa was holding the box draped with white cloth, she sat down and placed it beside her.
"How was your adventure?"
"I've got my answer." Alyssa smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. "I did not find anything unusual."
"I told you, princess." Barny reached for her hand, but she swayed her hands away from him. "Nothing is wrong."
Barn titled his head to the side, as if asking what was wrong, Alyssa never refused his hand before.
"Yes, nothing was wrong." Alyssa said calmly. "Everything seemed…perfect." Alyssa placed the box at the table. "Barny, have you eaten yet?"
"Well, yes, despite my busy schedule I always make sure I eat on time…"
"Not hungry?" Alyssa removed the cloth, revealing the black box.
Alyssa observed Barny closely, the sparkle on his eyes said it all--- he recognized it. "You know what this is."
Barny gulped. "Princess… this is dangerous."
Though it pained her, Alyssa opened the box, revealing a plump pinkish human brain. "Hungry?"
"Princess…." Barny wiped the side of his lips.
"Go, eat it. I brought it especially for you."
'Don't eat it. Don't eat it. Don't even dare to touch it.' Alyssa willed into her thought.
"Go on." Alyssa said instead.
Barny was convulsing, taking all his will not to touch it--- but his instinct took over and grabbed it with his bare hands.
He devoured it in front of Alyssa like an animal, forgetting that there was a person other than himself in the room. Hunger engulfed him, and feeding it is all that mattered in the moment.
Alyssa stood up and held her hands into her chest, not taking her eyes away from Barny. No, it was not Barny anymore. Alyssa made sure to observe the animal in front of her, as it devoured the brain offered to him.
She waited for him, as he finished every bits and pieces of it, licking his hands from any crumbs.
Then he jerked his head towards Alyssa, the look in his eyes tells her that he could not recognize her.
"Barny…." Alyssa's throat burned, her sight became blurry. "What have I done?"
Alyssa knew it was her fault of course, she was the one who pleaded her mother to cure Barny--- everything was her fault.
"Barny…"
Alyssa backed a step as he approached her, still with hunger in his eyes. "Barny…."
Alyssa suddenly felt the wall behind her.
Barny jumped towards her, aiming for her head.
She was trying to push his face away from her. "Eli!" as soon as she shouted her name, she knew he won't come.
"Anybody!" She shouted.
She suddenly slid onto the floor, Barny looming above her.
"Barny." She pushed him away with all her strength, but Barny did not budge at all.
Barny bit her right ring finger.
It bled profusely, which just made Barny more aggressive.
"Anybody! Mother!" Alyssa shouted. "Ziloh!"
The weight above her was suddenly gone.
There was a bang and Barny was suddenly on the far wall, unconscious.
"Say it again," Ziloh was standing beside her, smirking. "my name."
Alyssa replied with silence.
"Never thought you would call my name that desperately." He knelt down and helped her to sit down. "Can you do me a favor and say it more often?"
"I swear." Alyssa winced. "That would be the last time."
"Alyssa," Ziloh placed a finger on her lips. "Don't make a promise you cannot keep."
Alyssa clutched into Ziloh's chest--- a drop of tear fell from her eyes.
Ziloh caressed her head, not saying anything.