"Please don't say it's for me." Alyssa whispered. "I'm not hurt."
To bleed is weakness, a weakness should be hidden.
Despite drinking the water of the gods, she was still mocked, royals like Ison Vis refused to accept her as a royal—as their Princess.
"Okay." Eli nodded. "Where is this ward?"
"Go down a floor," Kiva looked up the ceiling, imagining the way. "turn right, left…" She pointed at the ceiling, drawing the direction in the air. "…then right, right again…stop there…look to your left, the second door is the wards."
Eli's brows furrowed, absorbing the information.
After a few seconds, Eli nodded and went out of the door with a thud, he marched out to the wards to get a first-aid kit.
Alyssa exhaled, relieved, feeling safe within the walls of her room. Alyssa never asked to be protected, she wanted to be respected---and Ziloh gave it to her.
"Thank you." Alyssa looked down, staring at the table.
Ziloh leaned in closer to her. "Anytime, my queen." He whispered to Alyssa's ear.
"I'm with Ebi on this one," Kiva wrinkled her nose, seeing blood dripping from the table. "Maybe your attendant's right, you can get infection from that."
Alyssa's injured arm rested on the table, palm facing upwards. The handkerchief pressed on her palm was stained with blood, her wound pulsating with pain--- but she refused to feel it.
To be numb does not mean the wound is healed, to feel pain is a response to danger, to not recognize the danger is fatal.
"I'm fine." Alyssa breathed out.
There were wounds deeper than the cut on her hand, that no matter how long time had passed, it still hurt.
Alyssa wanted that pain to end, the unbearable pain beating in her chest, she wanted the weight of being perishable be lifted out of her.
Unseen wounds are more infectious than those that leave a scar, wounds from the heart remains untreated, even those who has them cannot recognize it.
Alyssa focused her attention at the two daggers in front of her. One was a gift from Ziloh, the other was found in the palace's arsenal. They reminded her of the obsidian dagger used during ceremonies--- it was her dream to hold it on her hand.
Alyssa grabbed the dagger with the silver hilt, its tip smeared with her blood, enticing Alyssa to offer more.
Blood, she was very much willing to give.
Alyssa answered the call.
Alyssa's hand quivered as she slowly pointed the dagger into her heart.
"What are you doing?" Kiva's eyes widened in bewilderment, looking from Alyssa to the dagger, back and forth.
Ziloh stared at the scene but did nothing to stop Alyssa.
Alyssa clasped the dagger with both of her hands, ignoring the pain from her wound, she closed her eyes.
She could hear it, loud and clear, her heart beating fast, wanting to escape.
"Let go of that, Ali." Kiva agitated, stood up from her seat. "Ali!"
But Alyssa pressed the dagger closer to her chest, touching the fabric of her shirt.
"Alyssa, Let go!" Kiva grabbed the dagger.
Alyssa tightened her grip on the hilt, pushing the dagger into her.
"This is not you!" Kiva loosened Alyssa's grip on the dagger. "Stop it!" She pulled the dagger away from Alyssa.
Alyssa opened her eyes, feeling the emptiness on her hands. "Why? I want to do it now. My mother will understand." She saw anger on her best friend's face.
"Are you stupid?" Kiva threw the dagger on the floor, hitting the corner of the wall. "You will do it on your birthday!"
"What difference will it make" Alyssa stood up to pick up the dagger, but Kiva stopped her.
Kiva placed her hands on her hips. "Are you kidding me?!" Kiva exhaled, out of habit. "You're gonna do it in here?" Kiva looked around. "No, your ceremony has to be witnessed by everyone! You have to wear the best dress, of course chosen by me." She mumbled. "And your coffin! It has to be adorned with emeralds! Making it has not even started yet!" She sat back, feeling defeated. "Preparations are not done in a flash, especially on such a big scale as this." She placed Alyssa's hand between hers. "You're the Princess of this Kingdom. You have to let them know that."
Alyssa turned to the side to face her best friend. "You're right." Alyssa searched through her best friend's eyes, seeing Kiva's concern for her." Doing the ceremony alone is not binding, they have to witness it."
"Right, no meaning doing it in here." Kiva relaxed on Alyssa's side. "Promise me you won't do this stupid thing again."
"I promise." Alyssa's smile reached her eyes.
"Just three more weeks, okay?"
"Yes," Alyssa nodded. "okay."
Kiva let go of Alyssa's hand.
"Give yourself three weeks," Ziloh's eyes traveled to Alyssa's chest. "you need it."
Kiva nodded, finally they had something they agreed on.
"Some area needs to grow…bigger." Ziloh bob his head, not leaving his eyes on Alyssa's chest.
Kiva nodded. "Right." But her eyes widened in realization. "Don't disrespect her you moron!" Kiva rushed to her brother and stamped on his feet.
But Ziloh's reflex was faster, Kiva attempted a few more times to squash her brother's feet but failed miserably.
Alyssa blinked at the two, they were like cat and mouse, tearing the palace down, and she had no idea who was chasing who.
Alyssa giggled; she wiped the tears from her eyes from laughing too much.
Yes, she could have a few more weeks like this, with them at her side, she could bear it. They were her first aid, they may not heal her wounds, but they were enough to keep the pain at bay.
Kiva stopped chasing his brother's feet, realizing how dumb she looked like, a smile crept into her face.
Kiva laughed out loud with Alyssa.
Ziloh shook his head, but a smile slowly formed on his lips.
In that moment, Eli barged into the room, holding a kit on his hand. He stood at the door, confused from the change of atmosphere. But he recovered immediately and marched towards Alyssa, he was about to clean her wounds when Ziloh stole the kit from him.
Kiva was heaving from the laugh.
Eli did not say anything, he returned his way backwards and stood at the door.
Alyssa winced from the sting.
Kiva's smile suddenly vanished, she stared as his brother cleaning Alyssa's wound. "Be gentle!" Kiva protested. "Let me do it." Kiva reached for the kit but Ziloh moved it out of her reach.
"I don't do gentle." Ziloh continued on cleaning Alyssa's wound. "She'll adjust to me."
"You know what? Do you have a needle and thread in there? Let me stich up that filthy mouth of yours."
Alyssa smiled, observing the sibling biker. The childish argument brought warmth to her.
After disinfecting the wound, Ziloh wrapped Alyssa's hand tightly with a gauze.
It was almost her bedtime when Ziloh, Kiva, and Eli left her alone--- with one dagger on the table, and one dagger on the floor.
***
Alyssa's room was silent, void of the familiar voices, her movements were the only sound in the room.
Water splashed into her face as she opened the shower faucet, she lifted her injured hand in the air, making sure not to let her wound dressing be soaked with water. She managed to clean herself up using her one hand.
She rummaged through her closet and wore her most comfortable silk pajama, her hair wrapped in a towel.
She walked past the round table and slid Ziloh's dagger onto her hand, she closed the lights and dumped her towel at the bench. She then placed the dagger on her nightstand.
She lay on her bed and tucked herself in, her pillow was dampened by her wet hair.
She forced herself to sleep, but sleep did not come. Her eyes were closed, but her consciousness was fully awake, disturbed by the beating heart on her chest.
She could wait for three weeks, she convinced herself. The days would come by fast, three weeks of waiting patiently would be nothing compared to its reward--- eternal bliss. Yes, she could wait even longer for that.
Suddenly, something cold pressed onto her forehead, her eyes immediately opened from the touch. She turned her head on the side, not afraid of the intruder. She blinked a few times, adjusting her vision in the dark.
A silhouette slowly formed beside her bed.
Alyssa's heart beat faster from excitement, maybe she won't need to wait for three weeks after all.
Alyssa wondered during the past few days why no one attempted to kill her again. She was waiting for it. To be honest, she would welcome it. She wanted to be killed, she wanted to rise from the dead--- now.
She stared at her visitor, maybe the time had come to be killed, her breathing shallowed from anticipation.
"Are you here to kill me?" Alyssa squinted in the dark.
"Is that what you want?" Two rings glinted red in the dark. "Does the thought excite you?"
Alyssa exhaled deep.
She recognized the voice--- it was Ziloh.
"What are you doing in here?" Alyssa sat, wincing as she accidentally pressed on the bed with her wounded hand.
Ziloh's eyes faded black into the darkness, a weight dipped at the side of her bed. "Is that your fantasy? To be killed in your sleep?" He crawled in her bed, inching closer. "Do you crave death that much?"
"What if I do?" Alyssa's vision finally adjusted, seeing Ziloh in the dark.
"You'll be disappointed to know, so let me tell you in advance." Ziloh reached for her neck, gently choking her. "Death cannot relieve you from the pain, eternity cannot make you forget the past." He tightened his grip on her neck. "Sorry to disappoint you but I'm not here to take your life." He released her from his grasp.
"I know," Alyssa touched her neck unconsciously. "so why are you here?" She reached for her blanket and covered herself with it, suspicious of his advances.
"Nothing that interest you…" Ziloh took the dagger on her bedside table. "…to check your temperature."
Alyssa relaxed her hold on the blanket. She understood his words between the lines, he was making sure that she was not infected from her wound.
"I'm fine." Alyssa rubbed on her wounded palm. "It's just a scratch."
The dagger lit up red from Ziloh's touch, illuminating her bed--- his eyes also, glinted red.
"How do you do that?" Alyssa's eyes widened, distracted from the light. "Is there really a spirit inside?"
Ziloh snickered. "You're don't believe Kiva's nonsense, do you?"
"No, but…how else can you explain that thing?" Alyssa pointed to the dagger.
Alyssa did not witness the dagger light up this bright before.
"He recognizes me." Ziloh handed the dagger to Alyssa.
Alyssa took the dagger and studied it. "Who?"
The dagger's light slowly faded into a faint light.
"The dagger."
"How?"
"It doesn't matter," Ziloh ran his hand through Alyssa's hair. "this gift…think of it as an apology for cutting your hair."
"You don't need to apologize, that was payment for my life debt."
"Who says your debt is already paid?"
Alyssa punched Ziloh's chest. "You said it yourself!"
"I saved you twice, my queen." Ziloh caught Alyssa's hand. "You're still indebted to me."
"You don't have to remind me." Alyssa shook her head.
She thought Ziloh already forgot the other debt, she was wrong.
"Name him." Ziloh tipped his head to the dagger.
"Do I have to name it?" Alyssa asked. "This?"
"Yes, you said you want him to recognize you." Ziloh inched closer to Alyssa. "Name him."
"Are you sure it's going to work? Not just trying to make me look dumb?"
"Try it." Ziloh encouraged.
"Hmmm…" The Princess swayed back and forth. "Crim."
"Crim?" Ziloh asked.
"Yes, Crim as in Crimson." Alyssa looked at Ziloh's eyes. "It reminds me of…something."
"Say it to him, his name."
Alyssa looked at the dagger. "Crim." The dagger lit up brightly on Alyssa's grip. "It worked." Alyssa stared, enchanted by the light.
"You are his master now." Ziloh smirked.
"Master?" Alyssa turned the dagger from left to right. "A very complicated dagger."
Ziloh smiled. "He will be by your side, Crim. In times instead of me."
"I don't need you by my side." Alyssa scowled.
"Consider him as you pet, he will be loyal to you." Ziloh laid on the bed. "Others may harm you, but he never will." Ziloh stared at the ceiling. "Don't trust anybody," Ziloh warned. "Not even me."
"I never trusted you." Alyssa curious, looked up the ceiling too.
"Good." Ziloh smiled as he admired the empty ceiling.
Alyssa focused her attention to the dagger--- it was warm to her touch.
Alyssa traced her hand on the blade, she ran her hand through the embedded runes. "Does this mean something?"
"…yes."
"What does it say?" Alyssa yawned.
"…those who rise shall fall."
"Are you the one who engraved that?"
"Yes." Ziloh took the dagger from her and placed it back on the bedside table. "The law of gravity, the unbreakable rule." Ziloh inched closer to Alyssa.
"Never thought of you as a science guy." Alyssa followed the dagger with her eyes, missing its touch.
"Never was but learned a thing or two from your mother." Ziloh wrapped his arms around Alyssa.
"What are you doing?" Alyssa removed the arm on her shoulder.
"Boring you to sleep." Ziloh pressed her on the bed, his arm as her pillow.
"You're not helping." Alyssa yawned.
"I'm good in bed," Ziloh hugged her closer to him. "I know what I'm doing."
"Go back to your room." Alyssa pushed him away. "Don't want another rumor with you." Alyssa kicked her away from her bed.
Ziloh stilled on the bed, as if sensing something.
"No one has ever denied me in bed before." Ziloh stood up. "You'll regret this."
"I doubt it." Alyssa turned to the other side, avoiding Ziloh. "Go."
"Good night, my queen."
There was a woosh of air and when Alyssa turned around, Ziloh was already gone.