Fourteen years ago
There were moments that was buried deep in her memories as a child, never to resurface again. Past that was forgotten as an adult. Memories that would forever be lost, but the pain remembered. It was pierced into her heart, leaving a scar as a reminder.
Alyssa was three, turning four.
People kept calling her princess rather than her name, Alyssa. She is yet to know the weight behind her title.
Everything was much simpler as a child, only for the adults to come and complicate things.
Alyssa woke up with excitement, she was earlier than usual. She was wearing her favorite pink bear pajama. There was a drool mark on her cheek, her eyes blurry, and her raven hair disheveled.
"Good morning Mr. Bear!" Alyssa greeted her fluffy friend. Mr. Bear always accompanied Alyssa into her dreamland.
She did not brush her teeth nor washed her face. She scurried away from her bed and went straight to the door. She struggled to reach for the knob, she tiptoed so she could reach it better. It took her a few seconds before she was able to open it.
She ran straight to the garden; it was specifically made for her as her playground. There were various types of flowers growing on it. It was colorful, intended to entertain young Alyssa. But her favorite was rather a plain looking weed leaves--- the touch-me-not plants. She ran to one of the leaves and barely touched it with the tips of her fingers. Each leaf cowered slowly until the whole stem closed like a clam.
Alyssa giggled.
She touched another one, and another. She never grew tired of the plant even though she does it every day. But the leaves do run out, and she had nothing left to touch. Done with her favorite plant, she decided to pick a few flowers to carry with her on her journey.
She looked around her, it was empty--- no one was in sight to stop her. She began to wander aimlessly. The palace was like a big maze to young Alyssa, every turn was different. She was fascinated to explore it.
She bumped into a wall as she rounded the corner. The wall was Ison Vis wearing his usual three-piece suit.
"Watch yourself, young princess." Ison Vis dusted off his pants.
A few of the flowers fell on Alyssa's hands, the bouquet shrank from the collision. "Play with me, Ison Vis?"
Disgust formed into Ison Vis' face. "Address me properly, princess." Ison Vis spat the last word like poison.
Alyssa was not yet accustomed to these titles. "Play with me, Duke Ison?" Alyssa offered the bouquet to the duke.
Ison Vis bent his knees and whispered to Alyssa's ears. "Out of my way, you perishable." Ison Vis swatted Alyssa's arm.
Ison Vis turned to the side and stepped on the flowers as he went on his way.
Alyssa picked up the withered flowers and continued her exploration of the maze.
Don't worry, there are lots of people to play with, Alyssa encouraged herself.
She bumped into two of the guards this time. The guards saluted to the little princess as they walked past her.
"Wait! Play with me!" Alyssa ran behind them and clang onto one of the guard's shin.
"Sorry princess, we're on duty." They continued to patrol as the guard on the right dragged his feet heavily.
"I'll tell my mother you don't wanna play with me."
"Go ahead, she's not your real mother anyway."
"Shhhh!" The guard on the left warned. "Someone might hear."
"Did I say something wrong? It's the truth."
"Okay let's do this," The guard on the left said.
The guards stopped on their tracks.
"Princess? Can you let go of my comrade so we can play?"
Alyssa nodded enthusiastically. "Yes." She let go and stood on her own feet.
"Princess," The guard on the left squatted to her eye level. "Here's the rule of the game. You count to ten with your eyes closed and we will hide. Then you have to find us? Okay?"
Alyssa nodded, the bouquet of flowers still clutched into her little hands. "Okay."
"Remember, close your eyes, and count…" The guard ordered as they slowly walked away.
Alyssa obliged; she covered her eyes with her empty hand. "One….Twoooo…Three.." She was so excited that she counted each number faster than the previous one."…Ten!" She announced as she opened her eyes.
The hallway was empty, she ran to look for the guards.
She ran everywhere for half an hour, she looked for every corner but the shadow of the guards were never found.
Alyssa huffed. "You're supposed to hide where I can find you…"
Tears were forming in her eyes, but she fought against it with her might. "Nobody wants to play with me." She wiped her runny nose on her sleeve. "Why?"
The rules of the world were hard for the little one. Her small world was much simpler, she had no desire but one thing--- for people to play with her.
She walked, deflated.
She was walking with her shoulders hunched when she heard a giggle.
She stopped on her tracks. She followed the voice. There was a giggle again, it was a woman.
"Stop it, not here." The woman purred. "Someone might see us."
Alyssa proceeded to go to the dark corner where the voice was louder.
It was a royal attendant pressed on the wall by a man. One side of her blouse was loose--- her shoulder was exposed.
"Please, not here." The woman breathed.
But the man pressed into her body did not listen, he had not eaten for days. He was famished. He did not hear the soft pounding of a heart behind him. He was focused on his meal.
Alyssa could not see clearly what was happening, but she was pretty sure that the man kissed the woman on the neck.
The woman whimpered to its touch.
Alyssa stood frozen; it was a strange scene. It was a bizarre play they were doing.
Satisfied, the man lifted the woman's blouse to cover two punctured wounds.
Now with his senses, Ziloh turned to see the owner of the soft pounding beat.
The woman, recovering from ecstasy saw the princess too. "Oh, no." She hurriedly fixed her hair and blouse.
"Go." Ziloh ordered.
The woman obliged.
Alyssa was scared, Ziloh's eyes glinted red in the dark. Alyssa's legs were shaking. There was something wrong with this man her little brain cannot comprehend, but her body recognized the threat.
Alyssa's voice was shaking. "Play with me?" She offered the withering bouquet to him.
"Play?" Ziloh smiled and took the bouquet from little Alyssa. "Maybe when you're older we could play."
"But I want to play now." Alyssa pouted.
"Okay," Ziloh scuffed her already disheveled hair. "Let's go and play your game."
His answer was unexpected. "Really?" Alyssa looked at Ziloh and beamed, her fears completely gone.
"Yes, hurry before I change my mind." Ziloh offered his hand to Alyssa.
Alyssa took it and dragged Ziloh into the light.
***
"You're pretty!" Alyssa giggled. "Prettier than my mother."
Makeup was spattered across the floor.
Alyssa dipped her brush on a black eyeshadow and painted it to her canvass.
Her canvass was lying on the floor, eyes closed, unmoving.
Ziloh's eyelid was a blob of black, his two eyebrows were unified in the middle, his cheeks had a scribble of red, and his lips were smudged with lipstick.
The artist was satisfied with her creation.
"Are you done yet?" Ziloh sneaked a peek.
"Wait!" Alyssa covered his eyes with her tiny hands. "It's not done yet."
Alyssa used the same brush and dipped it into a tube with shimmering glitter inside. She then brushed it to his upper lid and cheekbones. The color turned into a glittering grey.
The artist was satisfied with her work. "Okay, we're done."
Ziloh opened his eyes and rose to sit on the floor.
"You're beautiful Duke Ziloh." Alyssa beamed.
Ziloh scratched on his head. "Ziloh, just call me Ziloh."
"But you're a duke." Alyssa was confused, one duke called her out for not using proper title while another did not want it.
"It doesn't matter. Just call me Ziloh."
"Okay, then…just call me Alyssa." Alyssa found it weird after all when people do not call her by her birth name.
Ziloh was about to go out when Alyssa called.
"Wait! How about your hair? I did not touch it yet!" Alyssa's eyes twinkled.
Ziloh sighted in defeat and sat back again on the floor.
Alyssa ran to her vanity table and took her pins and colorful hair ties. She ran behind Ziloh and grabbed as many strands of hair she can in the middle and tied it. "You'll look beautiful if you grow your hair longer."
It looked like something sprouted out of Ziloh's hair. Alyssa tied Ziloh's short hair in the middle, a hairstyle even a kid would not wear.
But the artist was satisfied. "Perfect." Alyssa grabbed a mirror to let Ziloh see his reflection. "See?"
There was a minute of silence as Ziloh silently mourned his horrifying face. He will not let this kid touch his face again.
"Alyssa?"
"Yes?"
"When you get older, you'll pay for this." Ziloh warned.
"Don't worry, I'll play with you when I get older." Alyssa placed the mirror on the floor.
"Princess!" A girl out in the hallway shouted. "Good morning!" She slammed the door open and discovered the crime scene.
Ziloh stiffened to the familiar voice.
She looked at the messy floor, her brother, then at Alyssa. "No way." There was a tingle in Kiva's stomach. "You…I can't believe you were a victim too!"
"Shut up." Ziloh said with a bored face.
"Did she find you along the hallway too?" Kiva guffawed. "I..I can't" Kiva held her stomach in laughter.
"You know Ziloh, Dutchess Kiva?" Alyssa asked her previous client.
"He's…He'sss..my…brrroootherrr…Hahahaahha!" Kiva struggled to say.
Ziloh stared into the horizon blankly.
"You're Duchess Kiva's big brother?" Alyssa's eyes were wide with wonder.
Ziloh nodded silently.
Kiva was exhausted from laughing. "Hey… How come I'm Duchess and he's Ziloh? Just call me Kiva too."
"Kiva?"
"Yes, Kiva. Your best friend." The twelve-year-old Kiva announced.
"I have a best friend?" Alyssa beamed.
"Yes, me." Kiva pointed to herself.
"Do best friends mean we could play everyday together?"
"Of course!" Kiva placed her hands on her hips and lifted her chin.
"Yehey! Playmate!" Alyssa hugged Kiva tightly.
"Princess." Kiva hugged Alyssa in return.
"Alyssa…best friends call each other by name." Alyssa nuzzled her nose into Kiva's chest.
There was a knock on the door. "Good morning, princess."
"Barny!" Alyssa scurried to the door and hugged her personal attendant.
"What happened in here?"
"I made Ziloh beautiful, isn't he pretty?"
"Yyyes…" Barn hesitated. "I assume you woke up early and wandered around again?"
"Yes," Alyssa smiled. "And I found Ziloh to play with me!"
Barn just noticed Duke Ziloh, and he bit his lower lip to control his laughter. " I could see that. Found another willing victim after Duchess Kiva."
"I came in willingly!" Kiva argued. "But…I have to say….pftttt…" She stifled a laugh. "Alyssa's more creative on Ziloh's face than mine!"
"Okay, playtime's over" Barn clapped. "Thank you for entertaining the princess while I'm away. She needs to take a bath now."
Ziloh was the first one out of the room, he left with makeup all over his face.
"See you later Ali," Kiva waved goodbye.
"See you!"
"You stinky child!" Barn sniffed Alyssa's armpit.
"I'm not!" She giggled.
Alyssa had makeup all over her hand and forearm.
"I can't believe you did that to Duke Ziloh." Barn shook his head as he undressed Alyssa and carried her to the bath.
"Why?" Alyssa's voice echoed in the bathroom.
"Don't you think he's scary?"
"No, I think he's beautiful. Ison Vis is scary."
"Please be careful around him princess, the young duke is dangerous."
"Okay, you can go out now. I can bathe on my own." Alyssa shooed Barn. "I'm grown up now."
After her bath, Barn helped her with her clothes.
"Barny?" Alyssa asked while her shirt was stuck on her head.
"Yes?" Barn pressed the shirt down hard.
"Why do they hate me?"
The shirt finally fit. "Of course not, nobody hates you!"
"No, people told me they hate me." Alyssa's lips sunk.
Barn eyed Alyssa dearly." My princess, It does not matter if people hates you." Barn began to comb her hair. "What matters is… someday princess, someone will love you as who you are… someday…and when that time comes, it won't matter how many people hates you… as long as that one person loves you…it will be enough," Barn softly pinched her cheeks. "Can you be a good girl and wait before that person comes?"
Alyssa considered this for a moment before she answered. "Yes." She nodded.