She paused, her hand freezing for a moment. Then, she sighed, "I guess you could say that," She muttered, "We had never met back then, but I knew about you. And Risále as well, I suppose, but I had actually met her once or twice. I had never actually met you, just seen you around. I mean, all scientists knew about both of you. Song and Manon, the largest contributors to the research. I didn't know you were Chaewon's brother until later, though."
Leon winced, "...I hope you know I didn't want to help them. Not ever," He said, not able to meet her eyes.
"Of course," Bella said, her voice soft, "If they held Fenix against me to get me to help them, I can't imagine what they held against you."
Leon laughed without humor, "You'd be surprised, they're not very creative. They used Fenix against you, they used Chaewon, Elliot, Risále, and Hyunwoo against me. Oh, and Xander, since I was attached to him, too. On top of them, De Luca…"
"I never liked him," Bella's grip tightened on the steering wheel, "The way he always talked like he knew the best for you, like he was in charge of everything…It made me feel so clueless. Especially since I think he knew that I was trying to go against him."
"He…Had a way of getting into your head," Leon shivered, "He knows exactly what to say and when. He got his claws into me right during the window of time when I had no one, they took Chaewon and Elliot from me and I hadn't met Risále again or Hyunwoo at that time. I already looked up to him, I was too young to know what he was doing. And then he got into my head and well…I depended on him. I needed his acceptance."
Bella made a soft noise, "He manipulated a poor child that had nothing left to lose, that's what he did," She said.
Leon shook his head, "No, I had something to lose. They…They told me if I did what they wanted me to, I'd get Chaewon and Elliot back. Sometimes I…" He looked down, "I wonder if fewer people would have been hurt if I'd been stronger. But I couldn't…Chaewon was my family. She was my older sister and the closest thing I had to a mother or father at that point since our real parents were deadbeats."
"You were a kid, Leon," Bella said, reaching over to squeeze his hand, "No one would blame you for wanting her back."
"I'm lucky like that," He chuckled, "They really should blame me. Especially Xander and Hyunwoo. I dragged Hyun into it by letting him get involved with me and we…We saw what that did to him.."
Bella was quiet, "...He doesn't blame you, darling," She said quietly, "It wouldn't be fair to blame you. You were only a child, you couldn't have known. You were doing whatever you thought could keep him safe. The only people to blame are the White Lotus."
"...Bella?"
"Yeah?"
"What was he like when you found him?"
She winced, "I…Leon, it was bad. I don't think you want to hear it—"
"Please," Leon whispered, "I need to know."
Bella sighed, "...No one could approach him for at least four hours when we found him. He didn't let anyone touch him, even though he had multiple severe injuries and could barely walk. Everyone had to be in his path of vision or he'd start to panic. The other members wanted to leave him behind but…I remembered him," She looked down, "I remembered the boy with the bright, cheerful smile, who was kind to everyone around him even though he was in such a dreary place. I remember how happy he was to tell people that he was going to see his friend. I'd left the White Lotus by the time you two had started dating but...I had been keeping an eye on you so naturally, I was also keeping an eye on him. He was always so happy to see you. And telling him that was the only way I got him to look me in the eyes."
Leon's eyes were closed. He was holding back his tears. He couldn't imagine his Hyunwoo like that, he didn't want to. Battered, hysteric, fragile, panicked, and broken. The Hyunwoo he saw now was different from what he was hearing, so much so that he wondered just how much Hyunwoo had held back for his sake, "...I know he didn't want to say it, but I know that they treated him worse because of me. They wanted to take their anger with me out on him."
Bella didn't say anything in response, she just nodded, "...I told him that I knew you. The moment I said your name, it was like a spark had lit inside of him. I asked him to look me in the eyes and when he did, he recognized me. He panicked a bit, but I assured him that I'd been fighting against the White Lotus, even when he knew me back then. That made him begin to trust me, but it took an entire month for him to really start responding to me. When he realized that no one here was trying to hurt him, he started coming out of his shell a bit. That was around the time he started seeing a therapist. Thank god for that woman because I don't think that we could have the Hyunwoo we know now without her."
"...I always thought he must have hated me for leaving him behind…" Leon said quietly, "Now, I don't know how he can even stand to be with me, knowing what my actions led to—"
She set the aircraft on autopilot for a moment and turned to face him, taking both his hands in her, "Look at me, Leon. In the eyes, please," She said firmly, as Leon avoided her ocean blue-green eyes, "It was not your fault. There was absolutely no way you could have done anything, not alone. Even if you tried to go after him, most likely, you would have gotten both of you killed. I hate what happened to him. God, I want to kill those men and Veronica with my bare hands. But they are the ones at fault. This was not on you at all. Can you repeat after me? It was not my fault."
Leon took a shaky breath, "It…It was not my fault."
"Again."
"It…Was not my fault."
"One more time."
"It was not my fault."
Bella gave him a smile, "Good," She said before turning back to the wheel, taking control again, "...By the way, I meant to ask but I heard Fenix teasing you about calling Xander 'pretty'?"
"This kid," Leon grumbled, "He acts so confident but the moment I bring up that he used to have a crush on me, he's trying to strangle me. Yeah, yeah, that was a moment that I wish Xander had forgotten. Out of everyone except for Chaewon and Elliot, I met Xander first. I—Okay, don't judge me for this, I was definitely younger than ten, but I had like a weird crush on Xander? Like one of those unattainable types. I didn't want to be with him or anything obviously, he was like eighteen at the time, but I still had a crush on him. Besides, I realized whatever feelings I had for Xander were long gone by the time I met Hyunwoo," He blushed.
"Thank you for telling me about Fenix having a crush on you, I'm never letting him live that down. Oh, also, I don't blame you," Bella laughed, "Xander's definitely hot, no doubt about it, even if his sister would probably be more my type if she wasn't dating anyone or monoamorous."
The boy choked on air, "Sorry?"
"What? I can admit someone is attractive as hell without wanting to be with them," Bella raised an eyebrow, "Actually, both Lumina and Mina are hella attractive."
"Okay, you know what, no, I'm good," Leon put up his hands, "I do not need to hear this, they're like my older sisters, it feels weird hearing this from someone I…" He trailed off as he realized what he was going to say.
Bella grinned, "Someone you what?"
"Forget it," Leon blushed, looking away.
"Oh, come on, Leon," Bella said in teasing, sing-songy way.
He shook his head quickly, "W—Well, what about you?" He said, "You certainly pulled off a stunt back there with Risále!"
Bella laughed, "To be honest, I wasn't expecting it either," She admitted, "She's a little bit stupid, I'd been hinting that I had feelings for her since the Winter Ball, yes, both romantic and sexual feelings, but she only picked up on one of those for so long."
"Yeah, when she told me you guys were in a friends-with-benefit situation, I think I fell off my bed laughing. God, I have an idiot for a best friend," He laughed.
"You look pretty when you laugh," Bella offered, and Leon smacked her shoulder, covering his red face.
"Jesus, Bella!" He sighed, exasperated, "A—Anyways, so, are you two dating or…"
Bella shrugged, "That's our prize," She said,
"Huh?"
"If we get through this alive, which we will," She clarified, "I told her that when we see each other again, we'd talk about what we were. I have feelings for her, I want her to be my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure that she feels the same way about her, but I want to ask her…How does that make you feel?" She asked.
"Me?" Leon pointed at himself. At Bella's nod, he laughed, "I feel happy that my best friend gets to date both her crushes…" At her pointed look, Leon seemed to realize he couldn't hide from her. He sighed, "...Even if she doesn't feel that way about me."
Bella shook her head, "You don't know if you don't try," She said, "How do you know she doesn't have feelings for you?"
Leon smiled sadly, "She was always a better person than me. She tried to fight back, when I was passive and let everything happen. And for that, she lost her memories. If she remembered what kind of person I was…"
"...Both of you are idiots," Bella declared, "Just don't overthink it, Leon. Don't assume how she feels about you. Ask her. Or tell her how you feel."
"...You make it sound so easy."
"I know," Bella's smile faded as the silence settled in, "You might want to prepare yourself. I doubt Owen and Fenix are the only people with bad memories of the place we're going to."
Leon let out a deep breath. He watched her steer for a bit before opening his mouth, "Hey, could you teach me how to fly this thing? I think having something to do will help distract me."
Bella smiled, "Of course."