It had taken them a few weeks to be able to settle into a somewhat normal civilian life, to be able to unwind from the stress, even if they were constantly on watch for guard, "You can be so dumb sometimes, you know that?" Owen had rolled his eyes, as he pulled his own scarf off, "Didn't I tell you it was going to be cold?"
"Yeah, but I thought we'd be home by now so I didn't grab anything thicker, besides, don't you need this scarf? Also, how long is this going to even take?" Fenix asked as Owen glared at him, rising on his tiptoes slightly to put the scarf around the older's leather jacket.
"Longer than I thought I needed. Look, she deserves something extravagant, something that she'll love," Owen said, looking through the jewelry.
"I know, I know. It's just...Maybe we should make her something? I mean, her brother is Xander. And he's rich as hell. And she's also rich as hell," Fenix pointed out and Owen sighed. Fenix took one look at Owen's discouraged face before stopping him and putting both hands on his shoulders, "I know you're trying. Just remember that no matter what we give her, she will love it," He said softly.
"I know it's just...I know what it's like to never feel good about your birthday. It feels terrible. I just want it to be perfect for her," Owen whispered, and Fenix melted at the emotion in the other boy's eyes.
"And we've got time. Come on, I don't think we'll find anything here. Let's go out to another store, there's plenty here that we haven't looked at yet," Fenix said, grabbing the younger by the hand and gently pulling him out of the store.
It was getting dark earlier and earlier, and Fenix was surprised to see that the sun was already pretty close to the horizon but not quite yet at sunset when they exited the store. "What exactly are we looking for? Do you want to get her clothing, or jewelry or—Oh, how about a new whip? Nah, she did mention that she likes the one she's using now...I mean, we could get her some more blades, Lumina is a woman who loves her blades," Fenix wondered out loud, and he didn't even notice that Owen had strayed from him, "Owen?" Fenix asked, as he finally saw that the boy had walked away and was looking into a store gallery window. Fenix quietly walked up to him and looked over his shoulder to see what Owen was looking at.
Inside the store was a small black cat, with wide, shimmering kaleidoscope eyes. It couldn't have been more than two months old, its fur sticking up and everywhere, a little bit messy. It mewled, or Fenix would guess that it was a yawn, since the chatter around them wasn't making it easy to hear, before licking its paw and staring out the window with its big, soft eyes.
"Owen? What's up?" Fenix hadn't really known Owen to have taken a liking to cats, or pets in general. They hadn't exactly had the opportunity to talk about that.
"It's nothing, just...Stupid thoughts. I'm overthinking," Owen said softly, looking into the window, and Fenix sighed, putting a hand on the younger's shoulder.
"You know that I'm not going to judge you, right? Even if you're overthinking. I don't mind, you know? Do you want to tell me?" He asked softly, pulling his leather jacket on tighter.
Owen took a deep breath, "It just...It occurs to me at random times that we never really had the opportunity to be kids. Like, the way other kids did. Other kids, when getting pets, only have to worry about whether their parents will let them while we…"
"Have to think about whether the pet will even make it...Yeah. We haven't really had what people would call a "normal childhood", did we? Lumina, Mina, Xander, and Kaedan tried—They still try but…" Fenix said quietly.
Owen looked at him, "I'm sorry. That's probably not what you wanted to hear. It just...It's been going through my mind for a while and then I saw this little one…"
"Owen, look at me," Fenix put his hand on the boy's shoulders and turned him to look him in the eyes, "Yes, it might not be what either of us want to hear, but it's our reality. Life hasn't been kind to us, but I think...I think we should be allowed a bit of happiness here and there," He said.
Owen looked him in the eyes, and Fenix could feel the heat on the back of his neck, as it seemed like the boy was almost studying him, "A bit of happiness, huh?" Owen muttered under his breath.
Fenix decided he should change the subject for his own sake, because if Owen kept looking at him like that, he wasn't sure what he might blurt out in the heat of the moment, "We might not be able to keep a pet but...Do you want to go in and ask around? Maybe you can hang out with them?" He asked, and Owen's face broke out into a dizzying smile as he nodded.
Fenix was going to wait outside until he felt Owen's hands in his, dragging him inside. When Fenix looked at him confusedly, the other boy simply said, "You said 'we' should be allowed a bit of happiness, not just me."
Oh.
So, this was what it felt like to be wholly in love with someone.
As they walked in, a big burly man with tattoos came up to them, "Hello! My name is Sam, welcome to my pet store! Would you like to adopt a pet?" He asked brightly and Owen felt Fenix's hand tighten around his. The taller boy wasn't the best at talking to strangers unless prompted.
"Uh...No, sorry, we can't really adopt right now but we were wondering if we could look at that kitten?" Owen asked, pointing to the display window.
"Oh! You must mean Alya. She hasn't exactly been welcome to visitors, at all actually. You can try your hand of course, but don't be upset if she doesn't take to you immediately. We don't even know where she came from, it was as if she appeared out of nowhere!" The man laughed, leading them towards the pen, "Well, I have other clients to talk to but if you have any questions, one of my partners would be happy to answer!"
"Thank you," Owen smiled sweetly as the man took his leave. He turned to Fenix, "You alright? I know you haven't really had to talk to many people other than us recently…" He said quietly.
"I'm alright, I've got you with me, don't I?" Fenix smiled, and Owen could feel any filter on his thoughts and words beginning to crumble. God, he loved this boy.
Owen carefully moved into the pen, Fenix quietly stepping behind him. The shorter knelt down as the kitten looked up to make eye contact with him, "Hey, girl, I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise," He said in as comforting a voice as he could create.
To his surprise, the kitten walked over without much hesitation, sniffing his hand before licking at it softly, causing Owen to giggle, "No, don't do that, I'm ticklish!" He laughed as he sat down properly. Fenix crouched down beside them and slowly held his hand out. The kitten had about the same reaction before jumping onto Fenix's lap, "Look, I think she likes you," Owen teased him, "I mean, not that I blame her. Hurry up and give her to me, I want to try holding her!" He whined before Fenix could think too much about what his friend had just said.
Fenix huffed out a sigh of annoyance before carefully handing Alya over to Owen, and he watched with a soft smile on his face as she cuddled up right on his shoulder, her tiny paws resting on his shirt.
"Feeling better?" He asked quietly, and Owen looked at him and nodded, a smile taking over his face.
"Much. We should probably go before the others get worried," Owen sighed, as he put Alya down. She mewled softly, lightly scratching her paws at his pant leg. Owen laughed, "Aww, sweetheart, I don't want to go either. But we'll come back to visit you, okay?" He said softly.
Fenix couldn't help how his heart burst at that. It was always "us". Owen always looked out for him, and always made sure he didn't feel alone, guilty, or just bad in general. Owen had always been there to ground him when he needed it but Owen was also the kite that untethered him from this world. He was starting to suspect that he'd started loving this boy much earlier than he thought.
It just took him this long to realize that he had fallen in love.
Owen stood up, holding his hand out to Fenix, "Let's go?" He asked, and Fenix nodded, taking his hand. As they both left the store, waving goodbye to the store owner, there was silence between them both, but it was comfortable. Owen had a small smile on his face, and if that pet store made him that happy, Fenix would willingly take him there every day.
"Oh, shit, I think I left my phone there," Fenix cursed, as he was digging through his pockets, "Stay right here, I'm going to go get it real quick, okay?" He said
Owen smiled, "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Besides, where would I go?" He asked softly, and Fenix couldn't help but smile as well.
It was time to be a bit brave.
He put his hand on Owen's cheek, and the younger boy was surprised for a second before leaning into it, "I know. I'm not going anywhere either, just so you know," He said, before turning around and running back to the pet store.
"Hey, I've got an idea," Owen said, smiling as Fenix returned to him, pointing at what looked like a class of young women making something, headed by an elderly woman, who seemed to be guiding them.
"What is it?" Fenix asked as he followed Owen over to an open seat, standing behind him.
"¡Hola, abuelita!" Owen said cheerfully, sitting down in the chair and beckoning Fenix over, "¿Como van las clases?" He asked, and the old lady laughed, before replying.
Fenix watched the two have a conversation, Owen's face sometimes turning pink as he bashfully answered.
"I knew the day would come where instead of just looking over my shoulder, you would actually make my jewelry," The elderly lady switched to English and Owen sighed.
"What can I say, abuelita, you always know best," He said, as he turned to Fenix, "Abuelita makes resin jewelry, and I thought since you were talking about making something for Lumina, we could...Make her a necklace? Together?" He asked.
"Are you sure? I don't really know how…" Fenix started to say, but Owen shook his head, smiling.
"I trust you. And besides, it doesn't have to be perfect. If it's handmade, it has little marks and imperfections to show the care that went into it, to show that it was made by human hands," Owen said softly, taking Fenix's hands and curling the ginger's fingers around the tweezers.
Fenix could only smile, "Okay, if you say so, Owen."
It took them a little over half an hour to finish, and when they had, the elderly woman had clapped her hands together in happiness, "Oh, mijo, it came out so good! You're the first ones to ever perfect that design." She said, looking through her set of chains to find a thin, long, gold chain which she slipped through the hook.
As Owen held it up, Fenix had to admit, it looked as though they had carved out a piece of the sky on a beautiful summer's afternoon and captured it in a tiny globe of glass, a little piece of the sky for a woman who deserved the world.
"Gracias, abuelita. Y, este es un secreto, pero quiero hacer uno de estos para él," Owen said, a sparkle in his eye, and Fenix knew he'd do anything to keep that sparkle in his eye.
"Ay, finalmente. Come back again soon, my boy! And bring your handsome friend as well, I hope to see you both together here soon," She said, winking at Fenix.
"Come on, let's go," Owen said softly, as he led Fenix away. He called back, "¡Adiós, abuelita!" Fenix echoed the other boy, "Where do you want to go next? Should we go home?" Owen asked.
Fenix shook his head, "I have a place in mind. Come with me?" He asked and Owen smiled, and oh, it was blinding, the happiness on the boy's face.
"Of course."
It wasn't long before they were in a less populated area, where the buildings were not conjoined almost wall to wall. It was beginning to look less and less like a winter city and more and more like a winter forest. Fenix stopped at the towering black gates to the forest, which were dilapidated and old.
"Are you going to murder me in here?" Owen asked playfully as Fenix pushed one of the gates open wide enough for both of them to slip in. Fenix rolled his eyes.
"Listen, if I was going to murder you, don't you think I would have done it by now?" Fenix asked, exasperated.
"Well," Owen shrugged, "You could be trying to get close to me so you can turn on me when I least expect it," Owen said, rubbing his hands together.
"And if I did do that, I'd have to face Kaedan's rage. Which is something I would absolutely not risk—Here, we need to get off the path," Fenix carefully made his way through a slope of fallen trees, holding his hand out for Owen to take. The younger mumbled something about "this always happening in horror movies" but took his hand anyway, carefully making his way down.
"You know, if we do die out here and everyone else decides to summon our spirits with an Ouija board or something to yell at as, I'm blaming you, right?" Owen asked and Fenix groaned out loud.
"Owen, for the last time, I'm not going to get us killed. Besides, we're here."
As he pushed aside a couple of tree branches, he heard Owen gasp, the boy still following him. They were standing at a ledge with a small drop, not one that was dangerous as both of them could probably easily jump it, but the view. The view was absolutely stunning.
They could see the sun setting beyond the horizon and the sea of multicolored trees going on and on. Fenix walked to the ledge and sat down, legs hanging over the edge, leaning back on his arms. He heard Owen quietly shuffle over to sit down next to him as they both watched the sun slowly set.
"How did you find this place?" Owen asked quietly.
"A while back, Mina wanted me to get outside so she recommended this park to me. Obviously, I'm pretty sure she was expecting me to stay on the path but you know me, I'm dumb and I don't think about things before I do them, so I ended up wandering off the path and found myself here. It's a great place to think. I had some...pretty big realizations here," Fenix admitted, a bit nervous.
He was going to go through with this. He was not going to back out, not this time. He'd been a coward about this for long enough. He had talked this through enough times with Leon, who had been surprisingly serious about it. He had expected a lot more teasing but Leon really had seemed willing to help.
"Oh? And would you mind sharing some of those realizations?" Owen asked, and Fenix almost jumped as he felt a weight on his shoulder
Oh, okay. So, he's just—Okay, well, time to confess, I guess, Fenix thought, and that was probably the last coherent thought he had.
"I think I like you," Backtrack. That was—Well, it was honest but not at all what he had planned to say.
Owen was quiet for a second and then laughed breathily, almost hesitantly, "Well, I sure hope you do, since we've been friends for years now—"
"No, I like you. As in, 'I want to be your boyfriend', like you. I want to take you out on dates, I want to kiss you, I want you to be happy and I really want to be the person who can make you happy. I mean that I'm damn sure I'm actually in love with you," Fenix said, and his brain congratulated him on giving more of an explanation this time.
There was silence, and Fenix was starting to get nervous but wasn't sure how to feel since Owen hadn't taken his head from the ginger's shoulder. Then, it seemed like the younger boy had finally unfrozen and processed what Fenix had said because he completely leaned into Fenix's side, tucking his head into the crook of Fenix's neck.
"Oh, you absolute asshole. You can't just spring that on me and expect me to function properly after hearing that the boy I'm in love with actually likes me back—"
"You're in love with me?" Fenix asked, surprised.
Owen pulled back and gave him an unimpressed look, "Was I really not that obvious?" He asked and Fenix pulled him into a hug, tucking Owen's head under his chin.
"No, you're fine. You're perfect, in fact. I'm just dumb, but I think we've established that multiple times," Fenix said, and he could feel Owen laughing, clutching onto his jacket.
"For the record, so you don't get this wrong, I like you as well. Love you, in fact." Owen said and Fenix rolled his eyes.
"Okay, tone it down, Mister. I'm dumb but I'm not that dumb, that's Leon." Fenix said, and it only made Owen laugh harder. He pulled back, looking at the boy in his arms, and gulped. Suddenly, it was like he knew exactly what he wanted to say.
"You mean so much to me, Owen. I don't think I can stand the thought of losing you. I've never...Felt like this about anyone else. I don't think I can love anyone else the way I love you. And tonight just made that even more apparent to me. I just want to thank you for giving me this chance—No, for taking this chance with me. And I hope we can do this again but as an official date, because I don't know how long I can go without—"
Fenix was cut off swiftly and abruptly by Owen moving away and looking him directly in the eyes before leaning forward and kissing him. The older boy gasped slightly but it didn't take long for him to respond, tilting his head so it was easier. Fenix's fingers found their way into Owen's hair and it was curly and messy and the way the other boy's hands cradled him so gently was just so Owen. Their mouths moved against each other, a little bit messy from inexperience on both sides, but that just made it better. Fenix let out a little noise as he felt Owen's hand slip under his shirt, the cold skin against his back making him shiver as the other boy pressed his tongue into Fenix's mouth.
As Fenix leaned back, he lost his balance slightly and made a noise of surprise as he fell back against the grass. Owen didn't seem to see this as a problem as he leaned over the other boy and kissed him again, seeming to make it his mission to leave Fenix breathless and gasping. Finally, their kiss slowed down enough that it was left to a few soft pecks on the lips.
Fenix pulled back as he ran his hands through the younger's hair, looking into his eyes for any hesitation, and was met with none. They were just Owen's eyes, which looked like they were glowing in the growing darkness, especially the silver one, both burning with…Desire? Desire for him, Fenix realized.
It was a strange feeling, to know that someone wanted him, and perhaps if it were anyone else, it might have bothered him. But if it was Owen, somehow it felt…Different. It didn't feel so strange.
Owen pressed closer to him, delicately holding Fenix's face in his hands as he leaned his forehead against the older's. Fenix's arms finally wrapped around Owen's waist as he pulled him closer. Owen leaned down and rested his head on Fenix's shoulder, and Fenix could feel him smile.
"Good?" Fenix asked carefully.
Owen pulled back to look at Fenix who couldn't meet his eyes, "Fenix, are you kidding me? That was amazing," His smile softened as he cupped Fenix's face with one hand, "We can take it slow. You don't need to tell me, I already know."
Fenix took one look at the boy and leaned up and kissed him gently before pulling back and smiling. The playful glint was still in Owen's eyes as the younger chased his lips when Fenix pulled away.
"Let's go?" He asked softly and Owen smiled. Fenix genuinely was wondering how this boy could kiss him so hard and passionately that he felt dizzy and yet somehow make him feel the same way just by smiling, like an angel in disguise. Owen leaned forward and pressed his lips onto Fenix's gently one more time.
Fenix could not stop the smile that appeared on his face when he felt Owen whisper against his lips, "Thank you for taking this chance with me as well."