Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
I could smell the metallic musk of blood as it oozed and dripped onto the cement. It was background noise, barely audible and yet, it was enough to fill the silence. The stillness was deafening all by itself. Shooting pains stabbed through the soles of my feet and yet I couldn't force myself to move. Not even when I felt the tremble of my legs forcing the broken glass further into the bottoms of my bare feet. Hot tears burned down my cheeks as I gasped through the restriction tightening in my throat. My vision was blurred and surreal as the room swayed beneath me and the white noise in the background grew louder to mask the sound of blood.
Before me there was a face distorted within a web of broken glass. It was a girl, roughly the age of twenty, somewhere around my age. She was a pale faced girl, with thick matted brunette hair left in a tangled disarray that plastered to her cheeks with blood, sweat, and tears. She stared back at me like a stranger, as if I never knew her at all. Those emerald eyes were wide like a doe's caught in traffic. Maybe it was because I finally knew all of her secrets and what she was hiding from me. At one point in time, I knew who or what this girl was, but now I wasn't really sure anymore. The whites of her eyes were bloodshot as her body jolted with every gut-wrenching sob. She stood before me semi-nude, wearing only a grey baggy T-shirt that barely scraped her upper thighs. The T-shirt plastered to her busty chest with a large crimson stain soaking down her front. Little droplets dripped onto her toes from the gaping wound in her shoulder. Her bare legs were full of scratches and bruises as she trembled and wrung her pale fingers.
A moan echoed from behind me. The girl in the broken glass raised a shaky hand to her wound.
"What have I done?"
I could hear the fear in her voice as my gaze slowly drifted across the web of glass, from the girl in the mirror, to the three black clumps lying limply behind her. The pistol glistened from a leather gloved hand beneath the pale fluorescent lighting.
I lifted my gaze to the girl again. She stared back at me, staring in both fear and realization. All at once I was slammed back into the present as another moan echoed from one of the men. Suddenly the feeling of broken glass beneath my feet made sense. That girl was me. Was I hurt? Did I hurt? I couldn't tell anymore. I couldn't feel my shoulder, nor feel my own body as it swayed before the mirror. Was this only my blood, or did it belong to the three lumps lying behind me? A chill ran down my spine as my joints locked and nausea settled in. My skin felt cold and clammy, my body felt numb and vacant, and my heart was in a wild frenzy that I hadn't realized until that moment.
What happened? Would anyone believe it? I couldn't even believe it as the memories of only seconds ago slowly trickled back to me. My stomach dropped and suddenly I felt the saliva build up in my mouth. I was going to throw up. What have I done? My eyes shifted back to the clumps lying behind me. I gagged instinctively and covered my mouth with my free hand.
"It was an accident." I pleaded with myself between dry heaves.
New tears formed in my eyes with each heave. My eyes snapped back to my own broken face in the glass. All heaving ceased instantly as a scream, petrified and horrific, tore out of my throat like a knife before I could stop myself. It was like a horror movie. Like looking into the mirror and seeing a demon staring back at you. A pair of wide pale green eyes stared back at me, vertical slits for pupils widened in fear within my own face. I slapped my hands over my eyes and screamed into my palms for the nightmare to be over.
Instead of waking up or shielding myself, I felt something sharp puncture my forehead and cheeks. I tore my hands free from my face so quickly, I hadn't noticed what had hurt me until I saw the blood dripping from the black claws extending from my small fingers.
Mouth gapping open in horror, my eyes drifted towards the pain filled moans of one of the three men. I felt a pinch in my bottom lip causing me to gasp and wince. My eyes fell to the broken glass at my feet just as ridged fangs began to poke out from my canines. Mouth open in horror, I watched as smooth skin wrinkled and spread out into different patterns across my cheeks and neck. Gold and green scales reflected across my throat as a pair of large lizard-like eyes blinked back at me.
My body jolted awake as a sharp wail sounded in the distance. It was joined by many more as I held my breath. My heart hammered in my chest and my stomach twisted. The police. Someone heard the gunshot.
Move.
I spun on broken glass and faced what I had done. A pair of pale blue eyes stared up at me in horror as the pistol trembled in his hand.
"What are you?"
The wails were growing closer. From the corner of my eye I saw something whip at my side and heard the sound of broken glass being sifted behind me. I looked down and stared in both horror and awe. In the darkness, beneath my feet, something whipped around my feet and tangled around my legs. A thick scaly tail swayed behind me like an extra appendage and dusted the ground with every sweep.
"I-I don't know." I felt empty in that moment as I met his foggy gaze.
I watched his chest heave with every breath and trailed my eyes down his limp body. Claw marks gorged open his chest, leaving a torn white T-shirt and puckered flesh open into an endless river of blood. He would be dead soon too.
The room was a blur. Only moments ago, men I hardly knew had dragged me into this abandoned warehouse. Only moments ago, I had seen them outside a bar only a few blocks from this warehouse. Only a few moments ago, they had catcalled me and then followed me only twenty-feet from here. The giant warehouse was a blur as I walked passed broken crates and cracked mirrors propped up against walls and slumped boxes. I almost tripped over some knocked over stacks and other heaps of garbage I'd knocked over in the struggle against them. It didn't feel real. Only moments ago, I was cornered by these men. Only moments ago, they began to tear away my clothes and taunt me like prey. The wails were getting closer as I shoved open a door with a sob of relief. A blast of cool midnight air rushed up on me so quickly, I felt momentarily lightheaded with relief. I inhaled sharply and exhaled a puff of white smoke that had nothing to do with the cool summer breeze grazing the streets tonight.
I couldn't show my face ever again. I couldn't be seen near here. Two men dead and another on his way to deaths door. By the time the police would arrive it would be too late. They'd walk into a grotesque scene. Three lifeless, mangled bodies left in cold blood. The only evidence left behind were my panties and jeans that they'd torn off my body.
Tears blurred my sight as another wail sounded closer than before. My heart in my throat, I tore down the street bare foot towards the dark alleyways. I barely felt the pavement beneath my feet or my hair whipping and stinging my face. Far and in between streetlamps illuminated the abandoned streets. Flashes of events blinded me. A black bag being shoved over my head, strong hands binding my arms as another pair of clammy hands pulled down my pants. A fresh sob broke from my chest as I angerly scrubbed my eyes with the back of my grubby hand. Even in my hazed state of fear and shock, I kept to the shadows as the wails slowly became a distant hum. My shoulders felt heavy and my back ached as I continued to run. I felt top heavy, my body constantly felt like it was being shifted violently from the right to the left. I could only guess it was the shock or the panic rising and bubbling beneath the surface. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew anywhere was better than that warehouse. A warehouse where those bodies lied and where broken mirrors reflected a monster back at me.
I stopped in a dark alley, hallway between a closed thrift shop and a boarded-up café. My legs wobbled beneath me and the soles of my feet felt as if they were vibrating with pain. I finally felt my legs once again and the sting in my lungs suddenly restricted all breathing. My legs gave out so suddenly, I didn't have time to brace myself for impact. I felt the skin on my knees and palms split open as I hit the cold ground gasping for air. I didn't care anymore as I gasped with aching lungs and stinging palms.
I could see those blue eyes, filled with lust and excitement. I could remember how he grabbed me before the bag was shoved over my head.
"No." I gasped out.
Hands touching me, hot breathy whispers in my ear as the others laughed. Tears dripped and splattered on the pavement beneath me, my hair falling like a curtain around me as I slowly looked up bleary eyed. I didn't know how much more I could take. My eyes landed across the street on the gold letterings of a thrift store, where a little storefront picture window was illuminated by a nearby streetlamp. At first all I saw was the yellowish glow of the light, until I saw a flicker of green flash back at me. From the shadows I saw my own reflection as if seeing myself for the very first time. Had I not looked in the restroom of a gas station mirror just this morning to wash myself? Was that me? Was that monster me?
As I stared, I felt myself recoil and took in the bigger picture. At first, I thought something was crouched above me, draping over my body like a dark serpent ready to strike. I almost whirled around with a squeak of fear, but then I saw it. Great green, scaly wings draped on either side of me like a massive cloak. Little specs of light turned each scale a hue of gold. I couldn't help but stare in horror. The glass made the reflection bleary, but I could just make out the texture and the coloring of them. My T-shirt was barely hanging on as fabric stretched or hung limply from every arch or joint of the massive wings. I barely felt them. It was like a great heaviness on my shoulders as they draped onto the pavement.
What was I? This wasn't possible. It couldn't be real. Did they drug me? I didn't want to think too far back, but yet I couldn't help it as I tried to understand what was happening to me. Was this a hallucination from fear? Was this shock?
I was too scared to look at them. I was too scared to reach behind me and feel for the rough scales or the closest arche of the wings. Then I looked into those eyes, they pierced straight through me. It was real. But it couldn't be real. It can't be. It's not…
I slumped to the ground in defeat. The wings coiled to cover me as I shrank back from my reflection and curled myself away from the lights. I didn't want to remember what led up to this moment, but that's all I could think about. It was a broken record player within my own mind. Their faces had been elite with lust and a morbid excitement as they cornered me. I could see it in their eyes when they approached me. I could smell the alcohol on their breaths and the faint smell of skunk as it puffed out of their chapped lips.
What was I doing out so late anyway? I had no place to go. I had no one to call. I had nothing to live for. Those men proved it. I am nothing.
I whimpered and looked up at the quivering wing that shielded me from the smokey dark sky above. The sky was pitch black, not a single star shown. It was just so I could see thick patches of grey clouds streaking across the sky and crossing a waning moon.
I couldn't help the fresh tears that built up again as I wrapped my arms around my head. I peaked through my arms up at the thin sliver of moon for an ounce of comfort. The grey puffy clouds slowly swallowed its light, leaving me in an utter state of darkness and numbness.
I hiccupped and curled my knees up to my chest. I felt something cold splash down on the wing covering me. It was a strange sensation as it ran down a bulging vein in the web between joints. The new appendage flinched beneath the cool raindrop as another hit my hand. I cradled my face in my hands. The salty tears stung the new cuts on my palms, but I didn't care anymore. Each new raindrop felt like an icy dagger, slowly dragging down my wings and scraping against my exposed flesh. My body felt hot and every waterdrop was a mixture of relief and shock.
Slowly each drop came down fatter and faster than the last. Soon enough I saw a flash of lightening between my fingers and felt the distance rumble beneath me of an approaching thunderstorm.
I pinched my eyes shut as salty tears mixed in with the downpour that began to pick up in pace. Each icy dagger that fell from the heavens gave me relief as it stung against my skin. The pain was what I needed. I deserved any form of torture.
What have I done?
I hiccupped as I curled into a ball further and pressed my cheek to the cold pavement. It sent a much-needed shock to my body.
I pinched my eyes shut as my stomach sank. The longer I stayed curled up, the more worthless and pitiful I felt. The feeling made my stomach twist sickeningly. I couldn't take it. I allowed the wing shielding me from the brute of the downpour to drop to the pavement behind me. A loud clap of thunder jolted my chest and sent a shudder throughout my body. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as I pulled myself onto my knees. My hair clung to my shoulders and cheeks and what little of my shirt that was left, hung like dead weight. My legs wobbled as I gained footing, the soles of my feet burning as my feet slid into puddles and my body swayed. A bright flash of lightening split the sky in two as a rumble turned into a thunderous clap of thunder.
My heart gave an awful squeeze as my throat felt thicker and my feet sloshed in muddles. With much more effort than I've ever had to give before, I found myself standing beneath the streetlamp in front of the thrift shop. Every joint and muscle ached. Somehow the pain soothed me. It made me feel like I was being punished for all the terrible things I'd done.
I stared into those big glossy serpent-like eyes. I stared at the massive wings that draped limply behind me. I stared at an image that felt closer to how I felt than the human form I was used to seeing. How this monster looked, was how I have felt all my life. Ridged teeth poked out from my thin lips, and light reflected against the rough patches of scales across my throat and collarbone. Claws sprouted from my fingers and a thick tail swished behind me slowly. I was a monster.
I was nothing. So many awful things have followed me all of my life. An orphan since birth, cheated on by my ex and left homeless as my only option. I shattered. I splintered into tiny little pieces. I lost the ability to feel my heart. I lost the ability to feel. I lost the last remaining piece that held myself together. The gaping hole inside of me broke open and I couldn't stop myself from bleeding out.
Bleeding out like I am now. Leaving him I became homeless. I thought it was a small price to pay to recover and find myself. The price seems so much heavier now.
I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. I was nothing but a broken monster. The orphanage made sure of that. Charles made sure of that. Those men made sure of that. My own body made sure of that.
I watched as my face twitched, fighting back from breaking further than I already was. I was grasping onto my sanity in vein. I was grasping for the part of myself I always fell back on when things got hard. I wanted to be numb.
"Who are you?"
I spun so quickly, I yelped when my tail smacked against the building behind me with a loud thump and spasmed with pain. The throbbing pain was forgotten as soon as my eyes landed on the thin shadow standing across the street from me. A dark figure loomed within the mouth of the alleyway. Instantly I was frozen in fear. My breath hitched in my throat and my heart hammered in my chest at the sight before me. A pair of yellowish grey eyes glowed from within the shadowed strangers face. Ridged wings, with sharp angles and bat-like shape, flexed behind the stranger like a massive shadow. For a moment I was frozen beneath the skinny figures steady gaze, both in awe and terror as those horizontal pupils scanned me.
"My god, were you shot?"
My eyes fell to my shoulder, at the pulsing wound and then followed the trail of blood leading from the alley where I'd been lying only seconds ago. Why couldn't I feel it? Was this an adrenaline high? My head felt light and heavy all at once, my heart was in a frenzy and my body was completely numb beneath the downpour. As I lifted my head to his terrified gaze, I felt my legs buckle and my eyes roll back. The last thing I saw was a black sky and a sliver of crescent above.