∞ NOW ∞
My sadness dissolved almost two-and-a-half hours later when the captain announced our arrival at Balıkesir. Panic worked its way into my heart, making it hard to breathe.
I couldn't believe I'd purchased the wrong ticket. Well, it wasn't hard to believe but I couldn't stop the panicky symptoms from setting in.
I clutched a hand to my chest as I felt my heart rate kick up. Tremors ran through my body making the world before me gyrate. My ears started ringing; the voices from around me striking my head like a glob of ice shards.
I told myself to relax, told myself that I would be fine. Yet every breath I took scorched my throat, the voices I filtered out made the old memories come rushing back to me.
Memories of love, and companionship, of the good times spent with Knight. And then the other ones. I barely thought about those but they always came rushing at times like these.
Memories of pain, of hardship, of blood and tears. Of Knight. Of the bullet that pierced . . .
That's what brought me back to my senses. Or maybe it was the hand on my shoulder. I didn't care about anything at that point, though.
It was like my brain finally started functioning properly. Like my nervous system decided to send nerve impulses to my brain. Like my heart adjudicated to beat normally.
My breathing, though, it wasn't okay. It felt like I was taking in too much air and not getting enough out.
Then I heard his voice and something inside me just broke free.
"Focus on your heartbeat . . . There, that's it." I lifted my head and stared right into those warm irises. "Can you hear me?" Knight—Knight was speaking to me.
I felt tears burn in the back of my eyes as I nodded.
His arms were around my shoulders, rubbing mine in an alleviating manner. My head rested in the crook of his neck.
Warmth spread in my heart, turning my insides to goo. The way we were right then was just like the old days when we shared sorrows and happiness. When all we had was each other. I quickly scrambled up and Knight's hand fell to his side.
It wasn't like that anymore. I had responsibilities now, people who relied on me. And, I thought with self-pity, Knight didn't even remember me.
But . . .
How was his arm now?
I turned at the waist, making no effort to hide that I was clearly checking him out. Not him. His arm. He looked to the side in clear discomfort. I needed to stop being such a creep! I swear I would stop after this.
"Are you okay?" He asked, slowly scooting a little away from me.
Oh, Lord. Mortification covered my face in a heated wave.
He totally thought I was a creep!
"Uh . . ." That's all my stupid self could muster, eyes drifting to the place I had felt the bullet pierce him. "Senin kolun . . ."
"My arm?" He asked slowly as if contemplating what to say.
Yeah, your arm. You know, the one that Mr Steve shot when you hit him in order to save me? And right after that, you told me to run? Huh. I ran and never looked back.
I shook my head, thanking him for what he did earlier.
He didn't speak. He just stared at me, eyes narrowed, mouth agape.
I chewed on my bottom lip, feeling slightly uncomfortable under his scrutiny.
He straightened, and I felt the shift in him.
Oh God. Oh God.
"I'm going to ask you something, okay?" His voice was on edge. "I want you to answer truthfully."
Oh God. Oh God. Why couldn't I breathe? "Did the Knight find her?"