Chapter 7 - Abby For The Win

Me: Umm, heh heh, kinda put on the spot here Chief. And I assure you that I.D is real.

{You sound oh so convincing little Richard. Maybe you should try for the Universal Awards when we leave this planet} shush it woman!

Chief Stacy: Really, because the only person who came close to matching you is a 12 year old boy is Oregon. So tell me the truth, just who are you and what are you doing here.

Abby, any idea how to get out of here. Peacefully mind you. Killing innocents is a big no no in my book. Especially a guy just doing his job.

{Oh you need my help} she chuckles {but you seemed to be handling this so well. Please continue for my amus. . I mean learning experience}

Me: I got nothin.

Heh, got Abby to facepalm. Now that is an accomplishment.

Chief: Then you'll be spending a few nights in the cell until we can get an identification on you. I don't want to do this but I have to.

Me: Ah I understand. But I told you the truth, it's your prerogative to not believe me. I could use some food though. I was on my way to find some grub when I SAVED your daughters' dignity.

Chief Stacy flinched at that. I guess I hit a nerve. Asshole. Hopefully i guilted him into getting me some good grub.

.

.

.

Chilling in a cell all by my "lonesome" is quite the experience. I mean when Abby isn't being so judgy. Come on, I saved a life and learned a lesson here; that my license is no good. See, valuable lesson.

{Yes, but they still havn't brought us food! We have waited and waited and I. Must. Feed! MAMA. WANTS. MEAT}

"Wow, new side to you. You gonna be okay there darlin'? Your friend little Richard is feeling a little scared."

{DON'T CARE! MUST EAT!}

Fwoosh.

OH MY GOD. She just melted us into the shadows! Holy sweet gerbil nuggets! Wait, get some money from the evidence room! Then we can go eat like a fat couple at the all you can eat buffet

{You have all you can eat buffets?! Money, then FOOOOOD!}

Oh my landa this is so awesome! Who needs a car when you have Abby! All aboard the Abby train!. . . That sounded a little wrong, re-naming it to simple shadow travel. Think I should tell Abby that we were only waiting 10 minutes? Nah. .

We formed out of the shadows in an alley just across from the first chinese buffet she could find. Seems like we traveled further into the big city, but that's okay. We'll be moving around alot. But now it's time to Chow Down! In Chinatown!

You know you've eaten too much when the beautiful server is GLARING into your soul and wishing you would combust into flames. In my defence, I have to feed for two. Never thought I would use that line in my life. I'll leave a big tip for her hard work.

As we leave, bound onto one another, softly touching, skin on sorta skin, our bellies full and sated, I noticed the sun was slowly declining on the city. The moment I've been waiting for has finally arrived. It's time to find a gang and take their valuables! Hehehehe, I'm so giddy!

In my mind, connected by our awesome psychic link, Abby lets out a roaring burp. My very soul feels like I was in a gong. The reverberation has caused me lasting damage. I. . I don't know if I'll make it. My manly pride can not handle this loss.

{Shush it child. I merely digested all the food rapidly and had to release the excess gas}

"Riiiight. You know what. I'll admit being wrong and let's get this show on the road. Shadow travel to the roof and look around for any shifty people. I like monies and want the shinies."

{Wall to the alley, shall we change as well?}

Yes, let the debut of Shade begin!

{I will murder you child, I will castrate you, I will make you choke on your phallus, I will shave your beard!}

Gasp! You wouldn't!

{Oh yeah, I would}

"But I love this beard! It is so me! I look like an inbred scottish farmer without it!

{Then don't try me. You shall regret it}

"Yes ma'am". . . damn, thought I was the one in control here. She merged with me not the other way around. Whatever.

.

.

.

We traveled the rooftops for a bit. I'm digging the whole moving around in the shadows too. Found a few gangs. I'll give you a chance to figure out where they were. Let me know when you ready.

.

.

Did you guess the docks? Because you'd be right. I've watched enough Batman to know they always hide in the abandoned warehousd by the docks. They are hauling some serious crates in and out. Mmmm, wow, am I becoming a klepto? Eh, its okay. They are bad guys, only they care if I steal from them.

Fifteen guys watching the perimeter but we are the shadow. We are the worst nightmare in the night. We are also stealing everyrhing that isn't attached down and I am loving this!

Sadly my inventory is filling up quickly. Hmm. Can I stack the crates? Hmm, only the ones with like items. Understandable. Still filling up and. . oh hey, one of the thugs is shouting. Lets peep in.

Big boss: "Where are my goods?! What the hell have you goons been doing while I was away?!"

Thug 1: "We. . we don't know boss. The crates are just disappearing. We can't find anyone but us."

The boss is dressed in a nice italian suit. Kinda flat headed. But at least he cleans up well. Oh ouch. He literally just headbutted the thug into the ground.

Big boss: "No one steals from Hammerhead. Find the culprit and get me my goods back!"

Thug about to pee himself: "Yes sir Mr. H. Right away."

Oooohhh, I remember this guy. One of Spider-Mans earlier fights. The guy literally has a steel head. Now I really enjoy taking his goods. Maybe tick him off enough that Spidey can have an easier fight. . . or maybe harder, who knows.

{Are we almost done. I need to stretch my legs. Carrying you everwhere is exhausting}

"Did you just call me fat? Like how rude! I need to go back to the roofs so I can cry in a corner. Oh hey look, I think I see a Spider-Man! Uuuuu, let's watch from the corner."

While Hammerhead is fuming in his corner Spidey looms down behind him slowly.

Spidey: "Hey hard head. You look like I took your lunch money."

Mr.H: "Web head! It was you wasn't it! You stole all my cargo!"

Spidey: "Now hold on, I'm a hero. We don't steal anything but the ladies hearts."

Fight begins. Oohh, headbutt to the chest. Gotta hurt. But Spider-Man retaliates with funny jibs and witty retorts. I like his style.

{He is toying around with his prey. I approve of such strength}

"You do realize he is of the hero variety right? He beats them and turns them to the police."

{Shame, I've met many so called heroes who tried and failed in the line of duty}

"So called? What so you mean?"

Holy crud, Mr. H just rammed through the wall. Nice form man, barely any gravel on the suit. He must practice alot.

{Heroes are whoever is winning. My God Knull was a hero to some by killing off the stronger beings no one could fight against. His goals may not have been accepted but they still hailed him}

"I understand. The victor is always right in the books. Oh look, Spider-Man finally beat him down. Guess we can finally grab the last of the goods."

{I already did while you were watching. We can go and find a place to eat before going back to sleep}

. . . you're awesome Abby. Just simply awesome.

{I know}