Darkness, all I see is darkness. I tried to focus and heard a faint sound. It sounds so far but slowly, it's getting closer. I can hear the noise getting louder with every minute passing by.
"Miss Gonzales." I heard faint soft voices.
My eyes, it feels heavy. I hear loud beeping sounds and footsteps trying to awaken my consciousness. I can barely feel my body and my head feels like it's floating in the air.
"Miss Gonzales." Again, I heard them calling an unfamiliar name.
It took a while before I finally managed to open my eyes. I roam my eyes around trying to familiarize myself with the place I'm in. I'm in a white small room with monitors, ventilators and oxygen masks in my nose and mouth. I must be in a hospital, I tried to adjust my blurry vision and blinked my eyes multiple times trying to improve my vision. I saw two human figures standing beside me wearing a white uniform with a tray of medicine on their hands.
"Tawagin ninyo si Doktora." The petite fair skinned woman who I assumed a nurse beside me commanded the other curly haired male nurse standing by the door.
How did I end up here? I tried to remember what exactly happened when a flash of white beam blinded me. I felt my heart throbbing loud and fast as I gasp for air when I remembered everything. I-I'm alive? I survived? My memory of that night is crystal clear.
"I'm Khryss Zhandee Tagactac. Your attending doctor, Miss Gonzales," a lady-in-white said, and I presume she is the doctor they were talking about earlier.
I stared at her hands unmoving. She faked a cough and sweetly smiled at me.
"I'm glad you finally woke up. You've been in coma for two months." She continued "So, Miss Gonzales I need you to follow this pen just with your eyes, okay?"
I nodded as an answer. She moved her pen horizontally and I followed as per her instructions.
"So, tell me, how are you feeling Miss Gonzales?" she spoke as she jots down some notes on her mini notebook
"I'm ok— wait, what did you call me again?" I interrupted her in confusion
Doctor Tagactac's brows furrowed as she looked at me confused and looked at her record book again. Wait, did mom come? I frantically searched the room. Where's mom? Where's dad? Inilibot ko ang paningin ko one more time but I see no signs of them. I sighed in disappointment.
"Where's everyone? Where's dad? Did mom finally come visit? Please tell me." I continued asking hoping for an answer from her.
She remained silent and stared at me for a while, I looked at her while waiting for her to answer. What is happening?
"Tell me, can you still remember what happened to you?" She answered me slow and softly with her eyes focused on me.
Yes. I had an accident. I don't know why she's asking me but I'll answer her anyway because I need to hear her answers as well.
"Yes." I answered with confidence. "I had an accident. I was—I was driving and I almost hit something and the next thing I knew I crashed and why do you keep calling me Gonzales?"
She nodded her head before holding my hand tightly.
"I suspect you might have a post traumatic amnesia Miss Gonzales but we will be doing more test like MRI and CT scans just to be sure. " She said in an assuming way.
Amnesia? Is she crazy? Or am I just in a freaking reality show? Oh God, this couldn't be serious! I was lost in words and all I can think of is she's definitely not qualified to be a doctor! She is crazy!
"What?! Did you just say amnesia? With all due respect Doctor Tagactac but I think you got the wrong person. My name is Elena, Elena Perez. So, what are these absurdities you are spouting?" I asked her in confusion.
"Maaaring nagtamo ka ng brain injury during the incident, Miss Gonzales. It's not uncommon considering the injury which led you to being in coma for two months but rest assure that I will help you regain your memory" Doctor Tagactac explained patiently
She held my hand tightly and gave me an assuring smile. She calls me Gonzales wherein I am not that Gonzales she is talking about. I know who I am! I'm Elena Perez! I am Elena Perez! Not that Gonzales whoever she is!
"Don't worry Miss Gonzales. I will help you bring back your memories." She answered softly.
I don't really get her but why does she keep on calling me Gonzales? What memories is she talking about? I know who I am! My memories are intact! I don't need her to help me bring my memories! I need her to call dad!
"I will be making regular visits Miss Gonzales." She stated while opening the door to go out of my hospital room.
I kept quiet. I'm literally stuck at the thought of why they keep calling me Gonzales. Wala akong relative na Gonzales. Sinong Gonzales?
"Where's my dad, nurse?" I asked the nurse who was still left with me inside the room.
I was hoping mom would be here. I was hoping she would somehow show up and tell me this is all just a nasty misunderstanding. I was hoping deep inside that she'll hear the news and visit me, being in comatose for two months I wanted to believe there's a chance she'll be back. I'm still her daughter and all mom worry right?
"Walang dumalaw sayong kamag-anak simula nung ma-hospital ka miss except doon sa bestfriend mong si Yummie, she used to come regularly to check on you. And according to your records, you live alone." He answered me.
What? This is a complete nonsense. What the hell is happening here? Napadako ang paningin ko sa katawan kong napakaliit na at nangangayayat na ng sobra. I look so pale like a ghost. I tried moving pero sobrang nanghihina ang katawan ko. I need to know what is happening here. Are they mistaking me from someone else?
"Excuse me but I need to go to the comfort room, nurse." I told the nurse politely.
The nurse assisted me towards the comfort room. Napasandal ako sa pinto and as I entered the comfort room. I woke up with my memories intact but the doctor saying that I have some kind of amnesia. I massaged my temple in frustration. I just woke up but I feel like it has been eternity. A huge rectangular mirror caught my attention. I locked the door and stared blankly at my reflection in the mirror. Processing the image shown in the mirror my eyes widened in shock when I realized what was in the mirror. Oval face, small narrow nose, thin pale lips, straight long brown hair and dark brown eyes; a face unfamiliar to me. Fear stroke in me as I screamed to the top of my lungs. My brain's still processing in confusion. I felt hot liquids running through my cheeks.
"Miss, are you okay?! Is something wrong? Please open the door!" The nurse asked me in a very worried tone pounding the door.
"Y-yes. I'm alright. Don't mind me. I was just-- surprised." I muttered the last word to myself. This can't be happening! Who is this girl I'm seeing in the mirror? This is me? Is this Gonzales?
I went back to my bed with my thoughts flying. I wasn't able to sleep last night. I can't stop thinking. What the hell is happening to me?! Why am I different? What did they do to me? This is not me, I mean the real me! I mean yeah, I am me but this body since when did I— My thoughts were disrupted when someone knocked on the door.
"Come in." I answered in a demanding tone. As expected, it's the doctor from yesterday.
"May." She smiled sweetly at me and I arched an eyebrow to her. "Let's start the diagnosis." She continued. Who is she calling May?
"I'm Elena. Elena Perez." Pagmamatigas kong sagot sa kanya.
She sighed and directly looked at my eyes. Her brownish eyes was full of compassion and sadness as she stared at me.
"Look May, I know it's hard for you and all. But I am trying to help you." She replied to me.
I let out an exasperated sigh. I don't understand what she wants to help me with.
"Look Doctor Tagactac, if you really want to help me start with telling me the truth. My memory is perfectly fine. I remember everything even the accident so I don't need you helping me with getting my memories back because I remember everything." I explained to her in a calm tone
"I understand that you're confused but this Elena Perez is not who you think you are but let's take it slow--"
I unconsciously scratched my index finger in annoyance and felt my finger numb with the bleeding.
"Call my dad." I stopped her from speaking more
"May-" Pinutol ko na kung ano man ang balak niyang sabihin at pinalabas siya.
If she really wanted to help me then she should start from calling dad since she doesn't even know how to listen. I don't want to hear any of her nonsense. I want to see Luke. Where are mom and dad? I let out a deep sigh. I have too many questions. Napahawak ako sa ulo ko. Urgh. It's starting to hurt. This phenomenon is giving me a headache. Naputol muli ang pag-iisip ko ng may kumatok muli at pumasok sa kwarto ko. Bakit ba ang aga-aga ang daming kumakatok at pumapasok sa kwarto ko?!
"Miss Gonzales-" She started speaking while looking at her record book but I cut her off. Who the hell are they calling Gonzales?!
"Get out!" I angrily shouted. She hesitantly stared at me.
"Pero miss-" I glared at her once again.
"I said get out!" Nakita ko ang pagkagulat sa kanyang mga mata.
"P-Pero—"
"Alin ba sa sinabi ko ang hindi mo maintindihan?!" I scoffed at her as she fumblingly rushed out of my room.
Napasabunot ako sa buhok ko. What the hell?! Wala nabang natitirang sane na tao dito?! Is this some freak hospital?! Napalingon ako sa bintana sa tapat ng higaan ko. I found myself in deep thought about everything. Like how did this happen to me? I saw a pair of couple sitting at the bench outside my window, the old man was patting the old woman's head as he smiled ear to ear. Luke. I miss you. Where are you? Why are you not visiting me? I suddenly felt hot liquid flowing down my cheeks. Have you given up on me too? No, what am I doing? I lightly slapped my face forcing myself to regain control of my emotions. I can't let this situation control me; I closed my eyes to calm myself down. A familiar scent suddenly caught my attention; that manly cologne I am very familiar with, is it—Luke? I opened my eyes and saw someone standing by the door— that posture, I know it's Luke! What is he doing? Why is he walking away? Why is he not turning back to me?!
"Luke!" I shouted.
He's walking away.. further. No! Luke! Come back! He's fading away— slowly.. I jump out of my bed and run as fast as I could to chase after him. Don't! Why are you leaving me too? Don't leave me, please. I desperately chased after him and when I was finally a centimetre away from his hands, someone grabbed my right hand.
"May" a deep horrifying voice sent shiver to my bones
It's Doctor Khryss Zhandee Tagactac! No! No! Stay away! I opened my mouth to speak but no words would come out. Luke! Help me! I was struggling to escape from the grasp of the doctor as she held my hand too tight. I looked at her and begged her to let go but she just gave me an evil chuckle.
"You will never escape May." She proclaimed in a very scary tone.
Biglang nagbago ang kanyang anyo. The sweet smile she had turned to a horrifying grin and her soft eyes turned to eyes filled of void. No! Stay away! I wanted to scream but I can't find my voice. My body feels heavy.
"May!"
Napabangon akong bigla. Hingal na hingal at pawisan. A dream-- it was only a nightmare. I looked around. I didn't notice I fell asleep. It's already dark. I need to get away from here. Hindi ako ligtas dito. This hospital.. it's insane! The people here are insane! I need to run away! I need to get out of here!
I looked at my left hand. I slowly pulled out the needle on my skin and felt sharp pain. Kinuha ko ang hospital towel na ibinigay sa akin and wrapped it around my hands. Nanghihina man ay tumayo ako at nagsimulang maglakad papunta sa pintuan, palabas sa kwarto. Mababaliw ako kung magtatagal ako dito. I don't know what they did to me, to my body pero I'm going home.. I'm going to escape this psychotic prison.