Once again, Fan Xifeng felt lost, filled with confusing thoughts in mind. It's not just a minute of déjà vu. It's almost an hour of it! And what's more, although the conversation is not exactly like in that dream, but the content is all the same. That, Fan Xiodan gave her an idea of actually wearing her ala Betty la Fea disguise to make Han Ziwei's parents dislike her instead and of course, it's his parent who would cancel the engagement.
She could vividly remember that dream. The disguise indeed successfully made Han Ziwei's parents, especially his mother to cancel the engagement but, it also led to unwanted events.
"No, no more disguise. My God Fan Xifeng, you're too old to be using that childish trick! You are a strong, feminine, independent woman, that's right! You are a strong, independent woman and you can solve this problem without actually doing that stupidity and just to end up making your parents disappointed in you." Fan Xifeng murmured to herself.
To summarized the timeline of events from that dream, Fan Xifeng realized somehow, the failed engagement seemed to have led to a series of unfortunate events in her life and to some involved with her. February 19th is her twenty-fifth birthday and also the night of her engagement with Han Ziwei. That night end up disastrous, she wore the Betty la Fea disguise, Han Ziwei's mother seeing her, walked out not giving any face to the Fan family's elder and obviously signifying her disagreement to the marriage agreement between elders and then, Han Ziwei was involved on a car accident resulting for him to be under comatose. Next, just half a month later, around late to first or early to second week of March, Fan Xiaodan found their grandma's lifeless body lying beside the bed in the master's bedroom.
Fan Xifeng sobbed in pain, because the dream felt so real, like she really did experienced it. And lastly, Fan Xifeng shivered, because once again, she could clearly remember the date of her own death, from that dream.
The night of twenty-eight of April.
Fan Xifeng sat straightly and covered her face with both hands in a forceful way because... she couldn't remember the caused of her own death! All she could remember was the emotions she was having while dying, misery and hopelessness.
Fan Xifeng suddenly hugged herself by the sudden rushed of familiar yet unbearable emotions within her. Fear, grief, anger, misery, helplessness and hopelessness.
With trembling body, she walked out of her bed and looked at the direction of the bathroom. Another wave of memory from that dream flashed before her eyes. Tears stream abundantly from her eyes without her awareness. Although confused, Fan Xifeng calmed herself.
After sometime, she approached the bathroom's door. With shaking hand, she opened the door. And the scene that flashed before her eyes made Fan Xifeng screamed her lungs out.
"What happened?! You screamed so loud your father and I thought there was someone who sneak into your room!" Jing Huaxi carefully rubbed her eldest daughter's back. Her frightened expression and trembling body is not just simply an act or part of her childish trick. She really look scared, horribly scared!
When her husband returned after checking the balcony she asked him about it. "Found something suspicious?"
Fan Bin shook his head. "The balcony's sliding door is locked from the inside in the first place." The man look frustrated but his face softened seeing his daughter's state. He approached her on the edge of the bed. He knelt down on the floor to look at her directly. "Feng Feng, what happened?" He asked softly.
Hearing her father's strong yet gentle voice, Fan Xifeng's muddleheaded thoughts cleared. Her rationality returned and reply, "I… I saw so many cockroaches earlier. I was so scared."
"Fan Xifeng!" Jing Huaxi raised her voice that shocked both father and daughter.
Fan Bin stood up to calm his wife. He, the same as his wife knew that, of all people, Fan Xifeng was never afraid of cockroaches. In fact, it's Fan Xiaodan who was afraid of them and when they were younger, every time Fan Xiaodan saw one, it will be Fan Xifeng who will help her to shoo the cockroach away. "Talk to you daughter. Fan Bin, I'm almost at my limit from trying to understand her every trick. She's not a child anymore, neither a teenager! My God, she's almost twenty-five!"
Jing Huaxi then walked out of the room, leaving the father and daughter in silence. "Please understand your mama okay? She's experiencing this thing, what you call it?" Fan Bin asked Fan Xifeng.
Fan Xifeng cleared her throat. "Menopausal pa,' Fan Xifeng nodded in understanding.
"I don't know what happened tonight. But if its something that bothers you, remember that I and your ma, and even your younger sister is here to listen. Okay?"
Fan Xifeng nodded. Seeing her finally okay, Fan Bin rubbed the top of her head and turn to walk out of the room.
However, Fan Xifeng called out to him, "Pa?"
Fan Bin turned his head back to look at her. "Hmm?"
"Brother Han Ziwei….is.. is he a good man?"
Fan Bin smiled and return to his daughter's side. Once again, he knelt down in front of her, this action also show how devoted he is to this daughter.
The only thing that he would fail her as his father is her arranged marriage with the Han family's eldest son, Han Ziwei. Maybe if only he and Jing Huaxi were able to produce a son, his eldest daughter would have not be subjected on an arranged marriage just to secure Fan family's prestige and wealth. Fan Bin could only sighed inside. But more than anything, he love this daughter and his wife. More than anything that he never even, for once, thought or being tempted to find an outside woman just to produce a son.
"Feng Feng, each of us has our own concept of what a good man should be. But I can assure, your brother Han Ziwei, he will be a good husband to you."
Fan Xifeng raised her eyes to meet her father's. She wanted to know how and why is he so assured that the man will be good to her but Fan Xifeng stopped herself thinking in advance that her father might once tell her, "Your brother Han Ziwei always asked about you" which she would always hear, every time since she never for once, tried to talk to the man over the phone no matter how her parents insisted.
Fan Xifeng still wanted to asked more if she will be happy with him but let it go. How could her father know? Feeling grateful witnessing how he doted on her, Fan Xifeng moved to hug him. After all, no matter how old she will get, she will forever be, her papa's girl.
Fan Bin rubbed his little no more princess's back. After some time he stood up to pinched her nose. "Get some sleep now. You might have been still under jet lagged."
"Hmm…please tell mama I'm sorry and…not to worry anymore."
"Alright. Good princess."
"Night pa."
When Fan Bin opened the slightly ajar door and as he walked out, he saw a receding figure down the staircase. That back figure looks similar with his youngest daughter, Fan Xiaodan.
Fan Bin frowned but shrugged it off. Maybe she also wanted to check on her older sister but decided not to bother after seeing him inside. After all, the door was slightly ajar, he noticed. 'But why does it seem like she fled away.' All throughout the years, he always tried not make this youngest daughter felt like an outsider…even in fact and after all….' Fan Bin shook his head. Feeling guilty of even just remembering that past