Five years ago, after I lost everything, I also lost my will to live.
I was just living in order to survive, and not because I wanted to stay alive, but because I had to. I don't even know how I was able to survive the first few months of my stay in Japan, wallowing in the pain they brought upon me.
I don't know how I was able to slowly get back on my feet and continue living.
It felt like I had gone through hell and went back, striving to survive even though each day felt like another repetition of a nightmare. All I wanted was to forget everything and to start anew, but no matter how hard I wished for it, it never happened.
I had to continue living with the agony until it became a little bearable, yet every night, I'd still get those nightmares about my terrible past, as if reminding me that I can never be happy.
But I just had to live with it.
All the while knowing that the people who made me leave were celebrating their success, and knowing that my one and only love detests me with a burning passion all because of them.
But now that Christina made me see that the evil will never change, I realized that perhaps, there is a reason why fate brought me back to this place where those nightmares happened.
Maybe I was not being punished for trying to forget the past, rather, maybe this is the real reason why I was made to return by the goddess of fate.
In the past, I let the likes of Christina push me to the edge of my ruination, but now, I realized that if I let them ruin my life for the second time, I would probably never be able to stand up again.
If I let them win for the second time, I would regret it for the rest of my life.
Christina already made her first move, and she made an intelligent move this time, but she still made a mistake.
She let me know that she was the one behind those rumors.
And if that is the kind of game she wants, I will make sure that by the end of this game, she will never be able to show her face in the society ever again.
'I have more leverage than she thinks.'
Even though I am very eager to see the downfall of Christina, there are still more pressing matters than pursuing this hatred of mine. I still have to help the project team with their problem, and I still need to do something to at least alleviate my reputation within the company.
And right now, helping the project team would benefit me more than ever.
I have exactly the right cards I needed in order to help the project team with their problem, and all that is left is the approval of Luke and Paul. If I would be able to successfully execute my plan for the project team, I may sway more people to my side and finally start with my plan against Christina.
Although there is a part of me that feels guilty for using the plight of the project team in order to gain leverage against Christina, I have no choice but to use them as stepping stones. Nevertheless, no matter what kind of intention I have, it would be a win-win situation for both of us.
'And even with Christina out of the equation, I still would want to help them.'
***
It was another sleepless night for me. My head was swarming with thoughts that sleep was not able to visit me right away, but now, instead of ruminating about the past, I was thinking of the future.
I was thinking about my plan and how I would be able to execute it properly. I cannot ignore the fact that Christina is getting more cunning, but still, the reason that she used the terrible rumors about me to her advantage is that she does not have anything definite against me, and I just need to make sure that she cannot create one.
I need to work on my plan as if I have a time limit. I cannot let Christina make another move before I make mine, because once my plan is finished, she would never be able to make another move against me again if she does not want to ruin her reputation as the heiress to her family.
I woke up after almost four hours of sleep. I could sleep for a few hours more, but once I opened my eyes, I suddenly found myself reaching out for my phone, hoping for any good news.
And indeed, there was.
After reaching out for my phone on top of my nightstand, I instantly found the notification for Luke's message, and upon opening, the words that I have been hoping for the whole night suddenly greeted me.
'Go ahead with your plan,' was written on the screen on my phone, and I could not help but smile after seeing Luke's response.
When I told Luke about my plan and his participation in it, I knew that there is a huge possibility that he will not accept it, however, I still took the gamble. I knew how much he hated the idea, and because of that, I even thought of some alternative courses of action if ever he would deny my plan.
Fortunately, despite loathing the thought of owing his family, he still accepted my plan.
After checking the time in Japan to make sure that Luke is still awake, I called him. If it was in the past, I would just send him a short 'thank you' message, but since I promised Luke that I would call him more often, I think I should start now.
After a few rings, Luke finally answered. "Hello? Alina?"
"Thank you so much!" I exclaimed the moment I heard his voice from the other line.
Luke chuckled at my enthusiastic greeting and said, "Wow. I think this is the first time you got this excited over my existence."
"I owe you this one," I replied, ignoring his earlier remark. I can feel my cheeks starting to ache at how much I've been smiling the whole time. "Really, thank you so much."
"Don't fret about it," Luke responded. "It's for our company. It would be a huge advantage for us if we were to catch the Chadwick Group's attention."
"Same thoughts."
Although my intention was slightly different than Luke's, in the end, our company would indirectly be benefitted from this plan, and that's all we needed.
"I just feel a little guilty for having you do something that you hate," I said, my voice laced with remorse. Luke was one of the very few people who helped me get back on my feet despite him having his own baggage to carry, and knowing that he will have to face them in order to accomplish my plan made my chest heavy with guilt.
"You're overthinking again," Luke said with a hint of reprimanding tone. "If you want, you can just treat me to some delicious dinner once you're back."
"I'll buy you as many cup noodles as you want," I replied teasingly, after which Luke and I both laughed at the same time. Since Luke can't cook to save his life, he spent almost a year eating nothing but cup noodles after he arrived in Japan as he can't even re-heat a simple dish without burning it, and that memory strangely became an inside joke between the two of us.
"It's a date then."
The two of us continued talking for a while before I finally ended the call as surely, he would not be able to wake up on time the next morning if I ever took another minute of his time. Both of us tend to forget the time difference whenever we talk to each other, and in the end, either one of us suffers for it the next morning.
Now, that Luke had finally agreed to my plan, I only need to consult with Paul about it. Since they just discovered the problem yesterday, they might still be searching for a possible solution for it, and I'm sure that waiting for six months is out of the question for them.
Since it is already ten in the morning, Paul must be in the office right now. I sent him a message asking him to message me once he is free, hoping that I would be able to at least give him a rough idea about my plan.
I picked my laptop up from the study table near the window of my room and went downstairs to the kitchen. I placed my laptop on top of the dining table and went straight to the counter to brew some coffee to help me combat the exhaustion from the sleepless night.
As I don't have a lot of work for the rest of the week, I could start setting the stage for my plan against Christina. I already found the person who would be of great help to my plan, and making that person agree may not entirely be that easy.
Once my coffee is done, the scent of the freshly brewed coffee was enough to clear my mind. With my cup on hand, I went to the dining area and opened my laptop. I have a lot of work-related e-mails I need to respond to, but before I read any of the work-related e-mails, I started composing one.
***
It was almost around noon when I was broken out of my concentration while working on some of my remaining tasks. The ringtone of my phone suddenly resounded inside the kitchen, and as soon as I picked it up, I instantly saw Paul's name on the screen, and without waiting for another second, I pressed the answer button
"Good afternoon Paul," I greeted upon answering.
"Good afternoon Alina," Paul replied, the usual friendliness in his tone was gone, and his voice sounded rather off. "I just read your message. Is there anything I could help you with?"