"Is this what they call secret love?"
Upon returning back to the white space, Lu Ze regained his memories. Recalling the gains from one semester, he felt that college was indeed beautiful. Although he was poor, he was carefree.
However, he could still remember that girl's face clearly, and it still made his heart beat faster. This was a feeling he never had before in his twenty four years of life.
He had a girlfriend before, or perhaps she couldn't be called a girlfriend. There were many couples in Hengdian that couldn't really be considered couples; they just shared a roof.
Both men and women here were lonely, and thus wanted a companion. Therefore, Lu Ze found a nineteen-year-old girl companion, a migrant extra, to share a roof with.
Was he fond of her? Actually, that probably wasn't the case. However, the people here suffered many hardships, and they needed a partner to confide in.
That woman shared his bed for three months and then told him that she had found a big boss. She sorted her stuff and left with a goodbye that very night, never to be seen again.
Lu Ze had never experienced a feeling like love before, nor did he know the feeling of being together after both sides confessed their love. After all, in a life where he might starve to death if he didn't work for a few days, a thing like romance seemed a bit too far out of reach.
The big letter 3 again appeared in the space accompanied by the polyp like sound.
"Initializing phase two simulation; duration, one year. Get ready, 3...2...1…"
The space darkened.
"Son, call me when you reach there."
Li Yumei was waving her hands on the platform as she yelled. Unfortunately, Lu Ze's attention was on sorting his luggage and didn't hear her.
The passing of the year was quite joyful. From 'chsi.com', Lu Ze found that his grades for the semester were number one in all the departments, gaining him a six thousand yuan scholarship.
He bought a pair excellent shoes worth a thousand yuan for his little sister. A single pair of shoes cost a thousand yuan, but his heart didn't ache one bit while spending the money. This was because her little sister had to give up on studies after middle school to let her brother continue his studies.
He would never forget what he owed his little sister for his entire life. This was not something money could make up for, because he'd cut off the path of a little angel who thirsted to study more.
His little sister couldn't accept it in the beginning and had yelled while crying, "Why can the elder brother study more and I can't?"
This scene was like a blade stabbing in his heart. Just a mere touch could bring tears to his eyes.
Therefore, he wished to excel, find a good job, and look for an ideal husband for his sister. He would give her a life filled with happiness; this was Lu Ze's oath.
The train moved. Seeing his mother and father repeatedly waving their hands at him, he also wanted to wave back. But, the windows were closed in the winter, and the other passengers would not let him open them. Therefore, his parents would not be able to see him wave back.
As the train sped up, his thoughts also drifted to a different place. Taking out a reference architecture book he'd purchased, he softly flipped the page, stirring the turbid air in the train before breathing it in.
The day after he reached the college, he woke up at five a.m. and arrived at the dining hall in working clothes. Today's breakfast was chicken eggs. He mixed a big pot of egg yolk with salt and oil in boiling water then poured it in small bowls one after another, finally transferring them into the steamer.
He then prepared deep-fried breadsticks and steamed buns, looking like a true breakfast store's worker. His roommates once joked that if he didn't like architecture, he could enter the food industry and at least not starve to death.
The dining hall was quite cold in the early morning; it was just past sunrise.
The dining hall's gate was already cleaned and opened. Even with an air compressor, the cold air was blowing in and freezing his fingers. Only by holding the egg soup bowls could he feel some warmth.
Rubbing their hands and letting out cold breaths, the first batch of early-riser students arrived. Afterward, the number of students in the hall gradually began to increase.
"I want one egg soup, two steamed buns, and a bottle of soya milk."
A soft voice entered his ears. Lu Ze turned around and his mind turned somewhat sluggish. However, he quickly recovered and prepared the food tray before collecting 7.5 Yuan from the card terminal.
Seeing her leave with her friends, the feeling in Lu Ze's heart was hard to put into words. Ego- at this moment, he finally came face-to-face with his ego.
He didn't wish for her to see him working in the dining hall. He felt that he had no face left. But, he also felt somewhat disappointed, because she absolutely didn't seem to remember the guy who sneezed and escaped like a rat from her.
At this moment, he didn't want to really work at the dining hall.
He felt that eight hundred yuan per month salary was simply not enough. He wanted much more, at least enough to let him present himself on an equal standing as her- a salary that could let him invite her to movies and dinner.
However, what could he do to change this?
Knowledge! His current knowledge was not enough, it was far from enough!
He took the one thousand yuan of the scholarship money that he'd brought from home and went to the bookstore, purchasing some supplementary books related to architecture. The contents that were to be taught later in the class, he learnt it from a third-year senior, who was a contact obtained from his roommates, forcing it down his belly in two months.
On Saturdays and Sundays, he went to big construction companies as a free intern, further studying by taking the company's construction software as study material. At the same time, he bought cheap paint and textbooks for drawing, and searched art-teaching videos on the net, self-learning sketching, composition, and coloring.
Simple sketching, pen sketching, marker sketching...It was to the point where he could pick up a pen and draw a European castle within twenty minutes.
Before the end of the term, he ended his salaryless job of assistant architect and began to go to the market, understanding the cost and quality of various materials and grading the newly launched products. However, his rustic appearance as well as age that didn't seem outwardly old enough made the bosses of materials shops unwilling to respond to his enquiries.
He again changed himself. He grew a beard under his chin and assumed a swept back hairstyle, making him look like a twenty six or twenty seven year old man. With that, the bosses finally showed some interest in conversing with him.
He was tired; there was not a day he'd taken rest. Every day, running around from morning to evening, he was so tired that he wanted to cough blood. However, any time he thought of taking a day off, just one day, he would silently remind himself, 'It's getting closer, it's getting closer!'
It was all until that day. He was returning to the college dead tired. From the thirty five yuan left in his college card, he bought a bottle of mineral water worth one yuan.
To improve his relationship with the bosses, he'd bought packs of decent quality cigarettes. In this manner, he learned to smoke as well.
Furthermore, he would usually smoke Red Plum himself. At this moment, he took out one and held it between his teeth. He took a deep puff and smothered his lips with mineral water. This was one of the few times when he could take a breather.
Looking at the students playing ball under the setting sun or jogging with earphones in their ears and smiles on their faces, he felt deeply envious.
'Why…can they live in such leisure?'
In the end, he saw a couple walking toward him. The girl was hugging his boyfriend's shoulder with a smile, seeing which, Lu Ze froze.
He stared at the girl, completely unsheltered and without any intentions to hide, and hence was discovered by the two. At the start, the two didn't feel too embarrassed being stared at by a twenty seven to twenty eight years old man. After all, it was college. Was dating against the law?
However, the boy started to feel somewhat strange. Why was this man only staring at her? Such an unbridled gaze made him feel unwell. Blood rushed to his head and he felt like teaching this bearded man a lesson.
"What are you looking at?"
Lu Ze didn't reply and continued to look at the girl.
"Hey, what are you looking at? Why are you staring at us?"
"Looking at you two breaking the law?"
In these few months, Lu Ze had already matured a lot. Compared to these bunch of students, he'd already entered society, even if he'd only placed half a step in. He never fought, because he was poor. Even now, he didn't fight, because he felt fighting was only for impulsive kids.
'But today, let's have one…? Come on, then.'
In youth, one ought to have chased after a girl with all of his might, which was not just talking in reference to fighting. That conduct was not praiseworthy at all.
Lu Ze's indifferent tone only fueled the rage of the boy, who cursed loudly, "Are you f*cking asking for a beating? Come over here!"
The girl jumped in fear as the boy yelled. However, fearing that the two might really come to blows, she forcefully dragged the boy and left.
Only the sounds of curses were left, loud in the beginning and slowly disappearing. Watching the two's rear as they left, Lu Ze firmly clenched his fist and then powerlessly let them go.
At this moment, his conviction crumbled.
'...'