I look stupid.. I am desperate to be with her again and see her beautiful eyes, smell her body and touch her silky hair..
We've been together for 3 years. Yes, 3 fucking years! We've been through a lot of ups and downs. Then this wil happen? All the happy memories, laughter and tears seemed to end in nothing.
I met her at a time when I no longer cared about myself and other people. She was the only one I leaned on when my father died 4 years ago. She was the only one who gave me the attention I did not ask from others. She showed me that I should not care no matter what happened in the past and what I should focus on is what would happen tomorrow.
I know I have committed many sins in our relationship and the worst one was 11 months ago. Time flies really fast. In just a day, it's already been year. Yes, After that incident, she rarely showed up. What makes me wonder is, I do not remember what really happened that time. I just woke up I was already in the hospital bed.
After that incident, everyone at school and at home started looking at me. All of their attention has suddenly turned onto me. Their eyes that seemed to be judging me, the pity, and their laughs, those looks that you don't even want to feel and see. Those looks than can ruin your life.
So here I am again, I look like a fool crying here while drinking. I also noticed that almost everyone inside this bar was staring at me.
Earlier, I was thinking about cess while drinking. I am thinking that her lips are the ones that touches my lips every time I drink. I may look crazy but i don't care. It's just me alone in this fucking world.
When I finished drinking, I immediately got up from my seat and counted how many bottles I had already drunk.
Fuck? 12 bottles ?!
I closed my eyes for a moment and slowly opened my eyes and counted again. Shit. only 6 bottles! Hahahahaha how am I going to go home in this state? I'm getting super dupper dizzy!!.
I was about to leave the bar when I suddenly remembered that I had not paid yet. Damn christian. I'm so mad at him that i already killed him 10× inside my mind.
"Christian! Yuhuuu? Hahahahaha"
I shouted at him. He was laughing at the other table. Fuck its so loud because of the noise and the music here at the bar. I think he can't hear me ... So I just left 500 pesos at the counter. But of course, I double checked the bill just to make sure it was not doubled. that would be a waste. And after that, i already went outside.
Damn, I can no longer walk properly! I look a drunking master. I also look like a zombie and looks like stephen curry doing cross overs at the parking lot just to get my car ..
When I arrived at the the parking area I stood for a moment and thought of something. I felt like I forgot something so I checked my wallet,phone and my keys. Luckily, I did not left anything..
Oh god.
My head suddenly gets hurt when I realized that the thing is.. I forgot where my car is.
"SHIT. WHERE'S MY FUCKING CAR!! ??"
I FORGOT WHERE I PARKED MY CAR. WTF. LUCKILY, MOM GOT THE ALARM REPAIRED SO I WILL JUST TURN THE ALARM ON AND TRACK WHERE MY CAR IS.
Btw, this is a new car of mine. I don't know what they did with the old car I was using tho. After the incident and when I got out of the hospital, I did not see my old car again. It looks like they really don't want to remind me of what actually happened that day.
It was my first car and my dream car. Now I ended up having a family car that's even slower than a taxi.
So yes, I tried to press my fucking key and luckily, a car responded. But shit.. My car is at the very end .. So I walked looking like a fool again in the parking lot to get to my car.
As I walked, I couldn't help but to smile. I remember Cess' face .. The happy memories .. The caresses on my face that I haven't felt for a long time.
I sighed deeply as I closed my eyes.
I don't know if im mad, happy or sad whenever i think of her, of us.
And finally! Here's my car..
I can finally go home!. I just can't tell if I'm going to make it safe tho.
When Im about to open the door, someone suddenly grabbed my other arm.
Shit! Looks like I'm in trouble!
All i want to do now is to drive home and sleep damn it!
Out of nervousness I immediately raised my two hands and shouted..
"Hi! .... If you're going to hold me up or something ... Or whatever you're going to do, Please have mercy on me I just borrowed this car. Just take my money!"
I cried like a fool because I can't accept the fact that im begging other person for my life.
"you're still the same.. Still reckless and stupid as ever.!"
I was shocked by what i heard. Shit! i think im gonna piss my pants.
"I'm sorry! From now on I will not drive when I'm drunk! Take everything ..." I said
I stopped when I realized what I heard. Wtf! its even more scarry because its a fucking girl! A girl holduper!? seriously!?
"Same old Pau. You never fail to make me happy! " She laughed as if she really knows me.
Wait ... Why does this shameless person know my name? And her laugh seemed familiar. There is only one person I know who has such an ugly laugh ..
Suddenly, i felt weak so i lower my hands and sigh..
I can't be wrong ..
As I always believed.. What the rumors says was a complete lie. She was just around waiting for the right time to show up.