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If You Touch You Die

Yuyumamoru
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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - How I Met the Team

"Ever wonder how I met my faithful team, now considered my servants? Well, it all started on a rainy night, twenty years ago. Deep into a small town called, Marhaven, I was born. So small and cute, like an angel in the form of a human. Li-"

(ˉ﹃ˉ): Hanman, no one asked.

(´ー∀ー`): Kaw's right. Why are you monologuing in the middle of paying?

The store had become quiet due to Hanman's uneeded story. Looking over to the others quickly, Hanman cleared her throat.

(ง •_•)ง: *ahem* A~s I was saying, I don't have the money.

The store owner's mouth curled in a snarl, his anger showing in his eyes.

╰(‵□′)╯: Get out! Get out! Next time you want some crystals you'd better have the money or else I'll call the guard!

Tossing Hanman out the door, the store owner went back to his post behind the counter, dusting off the place where Hanman had leaned on.

(ˉ﹃ˉ): *whoo* Hanman, play your cards better. Also, who're you calling servants? You better be thankful I didn't cut your pay from that.

(ง •_•)ง: Wh-wai-wait. You know me. *pshh* That was just a joke. C'mon, how about we go drink before the boss calls on us? I'll even pay~

Hanman wrapped one arm over Kaw's shoulders but he shrugged her off, a smirk on his face.

(ˉ﹃ˉ): Pay? With only this amount of money? *pfft* Better luck next time. I'll be holding onto this so you don't cause anymore trouble.

Kaw dangled Hanman's coin purse in front of him. Panicked, Hanman did a through body pat of her body and found that it was indeed her coin purse Kaw had.

(ง •_•)ง: Y-you can't do that~! I finally got paid yesterday! I wanna drink! I want beer! I want booze!

Like a child throwing a tantrum, Hanman stomped her feet angrily in protest. She didn't care for the scene she was causing. In her mind the more people that gathered the higher the chance that Kaw would give into the corwd's pressure.

With a nod from Kaw, Durk came forward and addressed the growing crowd.

(´ー∀ー`): Sorry for the fuss everyone. For those of you who don't know, that's Silver Tail's Hanman.

Like a wave, 'ohs' and 'I knew it' passed through the crowd. Sometimes having a reptuation isn't helpful.

In the crowd, someone whispered to his buddy next to him.

(→_→): What's so wrong about Silver Tail's Hanman?

His buddy shook his head sadly.

(*Φ皿Φ*): Hanman's famous around here.

(→_→): Really? That's so awesome! Should we go say h-?

With a pat from his friend, the man calmed down.

(*Φ皿Φ*): ... She's famous for being a terrible drunk. Everynight she drinks there are at least two bars destroyed, minimum.

Shuddering, the man forced himself to continue.

(*Φ皿Φ*): Since you haven't been here long, you probably don't know of the 'Horror on Night Moon'.

The other man shook his head, confusion on his face.

(*Φ皿Φ*): It was on the night of a full moon, or at least it was supposed to be but instead, the moon wasn't there. Silver Tail just returned from a dive and Hanman was given permisson to drink a few bottles but it turned into a few barrels, which turned into a few cellars...

(→_→): Impossible! How can one human hold so much liqour?!

(*Φ皿Φ*): ... They can't. As she went to different bars to drink, Hanman barfed in nearby wells, sewers, and the water streams that run through the city. It was a horrid cycle of drink, barf, and move on. The next day, there wasn't a drop of clean water inside the wells or in the nearby rivers.

(→_→): ... T-that's horrible

(*Φ皿Φ*): It was, so now the bars don't let Hanman in unless there's either Durk, Heber, or Kaw. You should familiarize yourself with their faces, they are the protectors of bars from Hanman.

The two men looked at Hanman's continued tantrum and shuddered.

In the middle of the crowd, Hanman saw that the people were quickly siding with Durk and Kaw. Puffing up her cheeks, Hanman finally plopped onto the floor and bawled her eyes out.

(ง •_•)ง: *waahh* I want beer! I want booze! Vodka! Dwarven Brew! Elf's Tear! Sprite Sap! I wanna drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

Slowly, a tall muscular man shuffled his way through the crowd. His height towering almost a head taller than the other. Kaw noticed the familiar face and smirked, the anticipation of a good show tickled him.

Finally forcing his way into the small clearing surrounding the three, the man growled.

(●ˇ∀ˇ●): Hanman...

His voice rumbed in the back of his throat. It carried a hint of annoyance and anger as it reached Hanman's ears.

Springing up quickly, Hanman brushed off her butt and knees.

(ง •_•)ง: *eep!* H-Herber... when did you get here? Eh, heh heh... Did you finish turning in our materials to the guild already...?

Herber stared at Hanman before turning to face the crowd.

(●ˇ∀ˇ●): I apologize for the commotion. Please continue your day.

Glaring at Hanman, Herber jerked his thumb behind him.

(●ˇ∀ˇ●): Hanman, let's go. I'll need to talk with you about our public image... and Kaw, why didn't you resolve this earlier?

Kaw looked side to side and feigned ignorance, rising his shoulders in a shrug.

(ˉ﹃ˉ): Me? How could I stop Hanman? Besides, I knew you were coming over so everything worked out.

Kaw gave an innocent smile. Herber stared at Kaw's face before sighing in defeat. Seeing his win, Kaw laughed a little before disappearing.

(ˉ﹃ˉ): See you guys at the base.

In a swirl of black smoke, Kaw vanished. Durk looked at the sky as the trail of smoke landed deeper into the town. Hanman sulked on the floor, drawing beer barrels with her finger using water from a nearby jug.

(ง •_•)ง: Booze... *boohoo*

(●ˇ∀ˇ●): Let's go. Durk if you would?

With a nod, Durk raised his hand and a portal appeared in the air.

(´ー∀ー`): Okay. I'll go first.

Herber nodded and Durk stepped into the portal.

Without waiting another moment, Herber scooped Hanman over his shoulder, carrying her like a sack of potatoes. having seemed used to the treatement, Hanman let herself be carried into the portal connecting back to their camp.