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Back? Not Really by grumpywolf
 Books » Harry Potter Rated: M, English, Adventure & Romance, [Harry P., Fleur D.] Bellatrix L., Hedwig, Words: 198k+, Favs: 8k+, Follows: 10k+, Published: May 26, 2021 Updated: Aug 53,934Chapter 11 - Fate or Destiny?
AN: Enjoy!
Chapter 11 - Fate or Destiny?
It was March 1992 and there were no signs of Hogwarts getting reopened again until next September. Bearing that thought in mind, Bellatrix took it upon herself to teach Harry the spells and the theory that he would have been taught at Hogwarts in the second semester of the first year. He did not need to be taught that but he had to keep the appearance of an 11-year-old boy so he listened to her boring lectures just like he would have if he had attended classes at Hogwarts. The upside was that once he showed her that he had gotten it down, Bellatrix would not drone on about the same thing again and leave him to his devices.
Done with the first-year material, she started teaching him some second-year charms and hexes. Now, the two of them were in the basement of the Blackthorn and Bellatrix was showing him the wand movement of the Disarming Charm.
"Like this?" he asked and performed the wand movement a bit wrong on purpose.
Bellatrix did not get mad at him. Patiently, she came behind him and grabbed his left hand (Harry had gotten more used to using his left hand rather than the right after spending more than a decade without his right arm). Then, she guided it with her own.
"A downward motion and an inward circle at the end. Don't stretch the downward movement for too long and don't make the inward circle too wide. You want your wand movement to be as quick and sharp as possible. Usually, the faster caster holds the advantage in a duel." she advised him.
Although he did not need her explanation, he appreciated how detailed and thorough she was with her teachings and her patience to spend almost two hours every evening despite coming tired from her own job.
'If I had had such a good and dedicated mentor in my first life, I wouldn't have lost an arm to Voldemort and Flitwick, McGonagall, and Kingsley wouldn't have died...I would have been skilled enough to defeat him alone, on my own.' he thought sadly.
His appreciation for Bellatrix increased more with every passing day. Here was a woman who had taken in an unknown orphan boy, shouldered his expenses and resolved herself to take care of all his needs and of his education while expecting nothing in return.
'I may not be the child you think I am, but I promise I will pay you back for your kindness.' Harry vowed to himself.
Without paying too much attention, the second time he performed the wand movement of the Disarming Charm perfectly: sharp and quick.
"Expeliarmus!" he shouted and a bright red beam of light impacted the wooden dummy.
However, maybe because he was careless with his magic power, or maybe because he was not paying attention, the Disarming Charm did not disarm the stick from the wooden dummy's hand but it-
'What the fuck?!'
He had almost sworn our loud. His Disarming Charm had ripped the dummy's whole fucking arm off instead of disarming it. Bellatrix looked at him wide-eyed, owlishly.
"Merlin's beard!" she exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, something like this happened back then too when I cast the Windy Spell!" he quickly tried to explain himself.
Bellatrix was momentarily silent, obviously thinking about something.
"Back then you were scared so I thought your magic must've reacted to your strong feelings, I thought it was some sort of accidental magic. But now? What were you thinking about when you chanted the incantation?" she asked.
"I-," he paused on purpose as if he was embarrassed, "-I wanted to make you proud."
Bellatrix almost squealed. She knelt to his eye level, cupped his face, and pinched his cheeks.
"You cute little thing!" she cooed at him and completely took Harry by surprise when she planted a wet kiss on his forehead. "You keep doing this and old Bella will totally fall in love with you!"
This time Harry did not even have to pretend that he was embarrassed. She giggled in delight at his beet-red face and hugged him into her bosom too for good measure. In her eyes, he was just too adorable. When she was finally done smothering him and freed him from her embrace, she pretended to be calm. However, the corner of her lips still quirked up at his embarrassed countenance.
"Ahem. I think we should also pay a visit to Ollivander. Your magic alone should not be enough to cause such effects in your spells. This could be very dangerous. It's best we make sure there's nothing wrong with your wand."
⁂
The next day found Bellatrix and Harry walking down the much less crowded Diagon Alley than it was during summer. Nonetheless, it was still bustling with people. Soon enough, they reached the old and shoddy looking shop of the illustrious wandmaker.
"Miss Black, what a surprise! Walnut, 12 inches, dragon heartstring core! It's as if it was yesterday that you came into my shop to buy your wand for your first year at Hogwarts. I trust that your wand still works well?" Mr Ollivander said, starting his speech with the usual line he delivered to each one of his old customers due to his eidetic memory.
Unlike how casual she was acting at home when there was only Harry to see her, Bellatrix was very prim and proper in front of strangers.
"My wand is working just fine, thank you," she said stiffly. "But there seems to be a problem with my young ward's wand."
Ollivander finally turned his attention to the young boy standing next to the elegantly dressed woman. A bit short and scrawny for his age (though Niki's cooking had certainly filled him up over the past few months) and dressed in quality but not opulent clothes, Harry Potter did not look anything special, just an ordinary boy. Nonetheless, the old wandmaker still remembered every single bit of his wand's details.
"I didn't know Mr Potter was your ward," he said in surprise but he did not ask for more details about their personal matters. "Fir, 11 inches, dragon heartstring core. I remember you clearly, one of the pickiest customers I've had in recent times. We've spent almost an hour until a wand finally took a liking to you. What seems to be the problem?"
Bellatrix answered his question instead of Harry: "Sometimes, his spells come out way more powerful than they should be, or with different effects altogether. Dangerous effects. A Windy Spell had nearly demolished the corridor of a building and a Disarming Charm ripped off a dummy's entire arm yesterday. In addition, whenever someone other than himself tries to hold it, his wand reacts rather...violently for the lack of a better word."
Ollivander's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.
"May I take a look at it?" he said and reached out with his hand.
Maybe because he was its creator, the wand did not try to zap him like it had done to Bellatrix a few months ago.
"Interesting! Very interesting!" Ollivander muttered, his electric blue eyes shining. "Are you perhaps mistreating your wand, Mr Potter?" he asked.
Harry looked at Bellatrix in genuine confusion before turning to look at the wandmaker. "Mistreating it how? I use the polishing solution every week..."
"No, no, that's not what I'm talking about. I can see that your wand is properly taken care of. You see, the feeling I'm getting from your wand is that it's mad at you for underestimating it."
While Bellatrix was looking at him as if he was an old scammer, to Harry Potter Ollivander's words made a lot more sense than the old man himself realized.
"Are you implying that his wand is throwing tantrums?! As far as I know, wands are not sentient." Bellatrix said snarkily. She was not a wandmaker but, as an Unspeakable, she did know a thing or two about wandlore. She could not be hoodwinked by flowery words as most laymen would.
"Sentient? No. But wands are not completely mindless either. It's the wand that chooses the wizard or the witch, Miss Black, not the other way around. The connection between a wand and its wielder is still a mystery for us, wandmakers, too, even after all these centuries..."
Turning towards Harry Potter, Ollivander said:
"Simply put, it could be said that your wand has fallen in love with your magical power. But just like a maiden in love, it feels mistreated if you're not paying enough attention to it. Those accidents that Miss Black spoke of when your spells came out too overpowered are its way of telling you that it is worthy of you. Your wand desires your recognition. Its reaction to being picked by someone else also suggests that after getting a taste of your magic it will never work for any other wizard even if you were to be bested in battle. How fascinating!"
Bellatrix scoffed.
"Have you gone barmy, old man?" she said, her temper flaring. "You sold him a defective wand and now you're trying to wash it off by spouting that drivel to us?"
She grabbed Harry's hand to pull him after her and leave the shop. "Come, Harry, let's go. I promise we'll find you a better wand. We'll go to Germany and buy you a new one from Gregorovitch."
"No, Bella, wait," he said in a quiet voice. "I think he may be right."
Now that stopped her in her tracks.
"The thing is, I can do wandless magic too."
At Bellatrix's inquiring look, he waved his hand towards one of the many shelves on the walls of the tiny shop and with a chanted "Wingardium Leviosa", more than ten boxes of wands started floating in the air. With another wave of his hand, the boxes were put back in the place from where they were taken from.
"My spells without a wand are a bit weaker than if I cast them with a wand. But because I don't need a wand I always thought wands were not all that important," he said and rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, isn't it better to cast without a wand? I won't be helpless if my wand breaks or if I lost it..."
He was not lying but he was not telling the entire truth either. While he was indeed capable of wandless magic - it was nothing extraordinary after reaching a certain degree of proficiency with the control over one's magic power - his attitude of 'underestimating' his wand was due to another reason altogether: until he woke up in this world a few months ago, Harry had wielded the Elder Wand for more than 20 years, ever since he had defeated Voldemort at the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998 in his past life. After wielding the most powerful wand in the world, the Death's Stick, for such a long time, he naturally thought little of his current wand; a regular wand could never be compared to one of the Deathly Hallows, an artefact crafted by the Avatar of Death itself.
Regardless, the two adults bought his explanation as it made sense even without the knowledge of his past life and real motives. At his words, Bellatrix's surprise was nothing compared to that of Ollivander. His theory being proven correct, he looked as happy as if it was his birthday.
"Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!" he shouted. "What happened today is a great breakthrough for all wandmakers in the world!"
Harry had never seen the old wizard acting as excited as in that moment. He was like a mad scientist that had just made a great discovery. While that was great and all, his problem did not get solved and Bellatrix made sure to point that out:
"As fascinating as that may be, his problem still remains: how is he supposed to wield a wand that can potentially blow someone up into pieces? It's not like he can change his mentality overnight."
"Wands have the capability to adapt to its wielder's needs and the wielder can learn from their wand too. It's a learning process for both sides. I'm afraid that the only solution to this problem is time. These are untested waters for me as well. But the thing is that changing his wand would not solve his issue. All that he can do is put more effort into connecting with his wand."
Right after the two of them stepped out of his little shop, Ollivander turned the OPEN sign to CLOSED. He wanted to research and test his new discovery immediately.
⁂
Before going back home, Harry and Bellatrix stopped by at the Leaky Cauldron. While they were waiting at a table for their order - coffee for her and tea for him with some biscuits - his eyes fell on the newest edition of Daily Prophet rolled up in front of him. It was a small service provided by Tom, the owner, to his customers: offering them to read the newspaper while they were having a snack at his inn.
Unfurling it, Harry read the title written with bold letters on the front page:
INFAMOUS AND VICIOUS WEREWOLF, REMUS LUPIN, FOUND DEAD IN FRANCE
Known for his acts of cruelty across not only Great Britain but the rest of the continent as well, the adoptive son of the similarly vicious Werewolf, Fenrir Greyback, Lupin had been found dead at the outskirts of a Muggle village in France, Villefranche-Sur-Mer. Before being Obliviated by the French Ministry of Magic's Obliviators, Muggle eyewitnesses claimed that Remus Lupin had been trying to break into the home of a family of four when a woman wearing a hooded black robe came to their rescue. Details about her appearance are few, but despite not having seen how she really looked like due to her robe the witnesses said she was a very attractive young woman. What is the identity of the witch who killed Remus Lupin? More details on page 6...
Many things had shocked and disturbed Harry Potter ever since he had been reincarnated into this new world: a prime example of it was the very woman sitting next to him, Bellatrix Black. Some people were the same as he remembered them - such as Dumbledore - while other people were completely the opposite - like Bellatrix and Peter Pettigrew. But Harry never entertained the thought that some people who had been kind-hearted in his past life would turn out to be vicious criminals in this alternate world. The Remus Lupin he knew would never harm an innocent life even if it meant he had to die!
'Is Remus really as bad as the Prophet claims?! That 'attractive' witch, was it, Fleur, perhaps? The eyewitnesses did say she was attractive despite not having seen how she really looked like.'
There was also the matter that the Daily Prophet could not be trusted.
'What if Remus Lupin was actually innocent and he was killed for no reason?'
At that moment, he felt the strong urge to write a letter to Fleur and demand that she told him everything she knew about this world's future. He had not cared about Cornelius Fudge's, Snape's, or the Malfoys' deaths as he had implicitly assumed that they were scumbags just like in his past life. He had not really cared enough to think about the possibility that maybe they were different in this world.
However, faced with the death of a person he used to respect and care about, a person who was a good and kind man in his past life, Remus Lupin, Harry was faced with the reality of what was truly happening for the first time. Nevertheless, when he thought about it better, he realized that he had no proof that the witch in question was Fleur either. It was just speculation on his part.
He schooled his feature into a mask of indifference despite his inner turmoil. He had nothing but respect for Bellatrix but keeping the mask of an 11-year-old boy around her was starting to become difficult after such a long time. It was not easy to always be on his guard and pretend he was a naive and innocent boy when he had seen and done so many terrible things in the past.
'Can't wait to get to Hogwarts.' he thought. There, he did not have to deal with anybody outside of classes.
But that thought made him think again about Fleur. The death of Remus Lupin made him realize that it was possible for other people who had been his friends in his past life to die too. What if Fleur was going to kill Hermione or Mrs Weasley next? Would he be able to just watch Fleur kill them while pretending he knew nothing about it?
'That's no different than what Fudge did, hiding my head in the sand like an ostrich.'
However, that also meant that he would get involved with the war...
Bellatrix was about to admonish him for his lack of manners - it was not polite how he had just put his elbows on the table and held his head with his hands - but she decided not to. The Leaky Cauldron was not exactly the most elegant place out there and Harry definitely seemed to be distraught.
'He's probably worried that he'll send one of his classmates at Hogwarts to the hospital wing in a matchbox because of his faulty wand...' she thought, not knowing about what was truly going through his head.
⁂
A few weeks after the visit to Ollivander, Bellatrix gave Harry a troubling piece of news:
"Guess what: I'm going to be your DADA teacher this year, starting with September!" she said and looked in anticipation at him to see his reaction.
His surprise was genuine. No, he was more than surprised, he was startled.
"What?! Why?"
Bella put her hands on her hips and pouted at him.
"Is that all you have to say? If I didn't know any better I'd think you're not happy with it!"
He shook his head rapidly. "No, no, of course that I'm happy! You'd be a great teacher, much better than that stuttering and useless professor I had in my first year... but don't you know about the jinx?"
Now it was her turn to be surprised by what he said. "How would you know about that?"
"Everyone at Hogwarts knows about it... for decades, Hogwarts has never had a DADA teacher for more than a year and many of them were met with misfortune; some even died!"
She came close to him and ruffled his hair.
"Ickle Harry is worried about little old Bella?" she cooed at him in a baby voice but he slapped her hand away in annoyance.
"Of course I'm worried! I don't want anything bad to happen to you!" he said.
When he thought about the Basilisk lying dormant underneath the castle, how could he not worry? In his past life, it had been sheer dumb luck on everyone's part that they had only been petrified instead of killed by the King of Serpents.
Thinking about that problem started the mental battle in his mind again: the battle between his wish for a normal life and his 'saving people thing'.
'With that git, Lucius, now dead maybe Narcissa won't release the Diary.' he thought hopefully.
But when he continued on that line of thought, he realized how bad would that actually be.
'Without the Diary, Dumbledore will never find out about Voldemort's Horcruxes...'
He felt like screaming and pulling at his hair out of frustration. Furthermore, Harry was clearly aware of what fuelled the jinx that Voldemort placed on the position of DADA office. It was his Horcrux hidden in the castle. 'If I don't eliminate that Diadem Horcrux from the Requirement Room, Merlin knows what will happen to Bella!'
"What about your job at the Ministry?" he barely found the presence of mind to keep the conversation going amidst his torrent of thoughts.
"I've never taken any time off outside of the winter holidays when hardly anyone at the Department of Mysteries works. I have enough vacation to take off an entire year and still get paid by the Ministry as an Unspeakable while also working at Hogwarts as a Professor. Perks of being a workaholic." she said with a grin.
"That's not something to be proud of!" he retorted but it only made her grin wider.
⁂
That night, sleep eluded Harry. He was finding it hard to calm down even with his trained mind. Too many worries and thoughts were weighing on him.
The uncertainty surrounding the real identity of Remus Lupin (he did not trust the Daily Prophet claims about him being a vicious and murderous werewolf), the chance for Dumbledore to never find out about the existence of Horcruxes due to the possibility of the Diary not being released at Hogwarts now that Lucius Malfoy was dead, and the fact that Bellatrix suddenly decided to become the professor of DADA, forcing him to eliminate a piece of Voldemort's soul in order to prevent any harm from befalling her...
'Fuck me sideways! It's like the Universe is conspiring against me to get neck-deep in shite again!'
Even cursing in five different languages at once would not be enough to express how angry and annoyed he was at that moment. It was like fate was coercing him into taking action once again, it was as if he was destined to be in the middle of the war in this life too.
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