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Chapter 185: Lifeless

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

Do you ever feel like a lot happened?

I don't know why, but as I see little Bai head inside and turn to the elders, I feel like a whole lifetime has passed.

Weird, right?

By the way, weren't they supposed to go in with him?

For the test I mean.

Either he misspoke earlier, or they are just slacking.

I'm not sure.

Then again, what am I expecting from a bunch of gambling addicts?

I really should lower my expectations.

Ah, that reminds me of a song.

Irrelevant.

"Are you sure you don't want to participate?"

[*Sigh* I truly am broke.]

What is the point of participating?

Sure making money is fun, but I have so little that even if I win it will be disappointing.

I may as well just wait to get my money from the city.

"Want to bet on your friend passing the test? How about this, if you win I'll give 50 silvers. If you lose you just need to give me a tip on how your friend caught a slime."

I was going to refuse, but really this is not much of a secret.

Slimes like food…not the most difficult information to find.

It is bound to be known everywhere in the city by tomorrow I bet.

After all, we did spend a lot of time eating noodles.

Not the most discrete when you spend hours loudly slurping.

People are going to figure out that you just need to feed it.

But seriously, how has no one ever tried that?

[Alright, you have a deal]

He keeps doing his round.

Trying to rile the bystanders.

Various tamers of various ages and styles.

Almost seemed like I was going to describe them.

Meh, who cares.

We wait, and we await, and we stand by.

"Oh that's weird he should have been out already. Should have been a while ago too."

What is happening?

[What do you mean?]

"Well, if he was defeated, he should have been kicked out already. I guess that means he is somehow fighting still."

[What is he fighting exactly in there?]

"Him? Nothing, his slime is fighting a rank 2 monster. Well, it is more powerful than a normal one since it is a magical construct."

Is something wrong?

[Am I allowed to check on him?]

"Are you getting worried about him?"

[Yes!]

"If you want you can go wait for him in the corridor right outside the testing room. Just ask the receptionist where he is. Don't interrupt him, however."

[Thanks.]

I go inquire at the counter. At first, the employee seems to want to refuse but the gambling addict signals her that it's fine.

I guess he isn't that bad after all.

Let me see it should be …this one!

Just as I come close, I see the door open.

Nice, I was just in time to see his heroic return!

If he won, we'll go celebrate at the noodles shop.

If he lost, we'll slurp our sorrows away.

A win either way.

[Hey friend, how did it….]

WHAT THE HELL!

The room is filled with blood.

On the floor, on the walls, and even on the ceiling.

Lying motionless is little Bai.

At his side a small unmoving slime.

NOOO!

[C'mon! Are you alive? What the hell happened?! Stay with me!]

This test was supposed to be safe!

What happened?!

How is this possible!?

I need to do something,

Call a medic!

Wait, he's about to die!

I don't think he's even breathing!

I need to do something now.

I need to …

Could I...?

Maybe?

Shouldn't.

There is no time.

Really shouldn't.

No fucking time.

Yes?

No?

Fuck it.

Concentrate.

Feel the divine energy.

This is fucking divine power.

There is no way it can't even save one guy!

Careful.

Visualize the healing process.

The same as I usually do.

Just reduce the output.

Don't want to turn him into dust.

Reduce the output a shit-ton.

C'mon!

I slowly kneel next to his apparent corpse.

I'm not even sure if there is a strand of life left in him.

I have no idea.

I don't care.

He's my friend.

I won't let him leave just yet.

I want to see him eat.

I want to see him laugh.

I want to see him grow.

I want to see what he will become.

I didn't even get to invite him to my sect.

I move the energy from my hand to his body.

Slowly spreading it all inside him.

I have no idea if it's working.

Please, please, please.

I just want him to live.

[C'mon buddy you can't die just yet!]

Slowly but surely circulating it inside him.

This is hard.

[C'mon buddy. If you kick the bucket here, you will become a laughingstock!]

It feels like operating a patient.

Except I'm wearing cooking mittens and I am blindfolded.

I get the feeling all the divine energy isn't following my wishes.

[Fucking live! You can't give up right now! You need to become the number one slime tamer!]

After a while, I feel like it is over.

There is nothing more I can do.

This is the end.

I slowly retract all the divine energy.

I feel empty right now.

Crazy how someone I recently met because so important to me.

We didn't even spend that much time together.

He did help me find my way in the guild.

He seemed to be interesting.

To have a good sense of humor.

He called himself my friend.

I accepted it.

A failed tamer struggling.

I can relate to that.

I screwed up his taming session.

Yet he still talked to me.

He trusted me to go tame slimes.

We succeeded somehow.

Then we shared a meal.

I felt him open up to me.

We still didn't talk that much.

Still, we somehow started trusting each other.

At least that's what I believe.

Is it true?

I'm not sure.

But I did consider him a friend.

Now, this friend is leaving me.

Leaving this world.

Why?!

I still don't know what happened.

Was it all planned?

Was this an assassination attempt?

What exactly…

As my thoughts are spiraling…

I see something out of the corner of my eyes.

A small blob that twitches.

Then I look at my friend.

His previously lifeless body now slowly breathing.

He's gonna be fine, right?!

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 185: Lifeless

           

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Chapter 185: Lifeless

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

Do you ever feel like a lot happened?

I don't know why, but as I see little Bai head inside and turn to the elders, I feel like a whole lifetime has passed.

Weird, right?

By the way, weren't they supposed to go in with him?

For the test I mean.

Either he misspoke earlier, or they are just slacking.

I'm not sure.

Then again, what am I expecting from a bunch of gambling addicts?

I really should lower my expectations.

Ah, that reminds me of a song.

Irrelevant.

"Are you sure you don't want to participate?"

[*Sigh* I truly am broke.]

What is the point of participating?

Sure making money is fun, but I have so little that even if I win it will be disappointing.

I may as well just wait to get my money from the city.

"Want to bet on your friend passing the test? How about this, if you win I'll give 50 silvers. If you lose you just need to give me a tip on how your friend caught a slime."

I was going to refuse, but really this is not much of a secret.

Slimes like food…not the most difficult information to find.

It is bound to be known everywhere in the city by tomorrow I bet.

After all, we did spend a lot of time eating noodles.

Not the most discrete when you spend hours loudly slurping.

People are going to figure out that you just need to feed it.

But seriously, how has no one ever tried that?

[Alright, you have a deal]

He keeps doing his round.

Trying to rile the bystanders.

Various tamers of various ages and styles.

Almost seemed like I was going to describe them.

Meh, who cares.

We wait, and we await, and we stand by.

"Oh that's weird he should have been out already. Should have been a while ago too."

What is happening?

[What do you mean?]

"Well, if he was defeated, he should have been kicked out already. I guess that means he is somehow fighting still."

[What is he fighting exactly in there?]

"Him? Nothing, his slime is fighting a rank 2 monster. Well, it is more powerful than a normal one since it is a magical construct."

Is something wrong?

[Am I allowed to check on him?]

"Are you getting worried about him?"

[Yes!]

"If you want you can go wait for him in the corridor right outside the testing room. Just ask the receptionist where he is. Don't interrupt him, however."

[Thanks.]

I go inquire at the counter. At first, the employee seems to want to refuse but the gambling addict signals her that it's fine.

I guess he isn't that bad after all.

Let me see it should be …this one!

Just as I come close, I see the door open.

Nice, I was just in time to see his heroic return!

If he won, we'll go celebrate at the noodles shop.

If he lost, we'll slurp our sorrows away.

A win either way.

[Hey friend, how did it….]

WHAT THE HELL!

The room is filled with blood.

On the floor, on the walls, and even on the ceiling.

Lying motionless is little Bai.

At his side a small unmoving slime.

NOOO!

[C'mon! Are you alive? What the hell happened?! Stay with me!]

This test was supposed to be safe!

What happened?!

How is this possible!?

I need to do something,

Call a medic!

Wait, he's about to die!

I don't think he's even breathing!

I need to do something now.

I need to …

Could I...?

Maybe?

Shouldn't.

There is no time.

Really shouldn't.

No fucking time.

Yes?

No?

Fuck it.

Concentrate.

Feel the divine energy.

This is fucking divine power.

There is no way it can't even save one guy!

Careful.

Visualize the healing process.

The same as I usually do.

Just reduce the output.

Don't want to turn him into dust.

Reduce the output a shit-ton.

C'mon!

I slowly kneel next to his apparent corpse.

I'm not even sure if there is a strand of life left in him.

I have no idea.

I don't care.

He's my friend.

I won't let him leave just yet.

I want to see him eat.

I want to see him laugh.

I want to see him grow.

I want to see what he will become.

I didn't even get to invite him to my sect.

I move the energy from my hand to his body.

Slowly spreading it all inside him.

I have no idea if it's working.

Please, please, please.

I just want him to live.

[C'mon buddy you can't die just yet!]

Slowly but surely circulating it inside him.

This is hard.

[C'mon buddy. If you kick the bucket here, you will become a laughingstock!]

It feels like operating a patient.

Except I'm wearing cooking mittens and I am blindfolded.

I get the feeling all the divine energy isn't following my wishes.

[Fucking live! You can't give up right now! You need to become the number one slime tamer!]

After a while, I feel like it is over.

There is nothing more I can do.

This is the end.

I slowly retract all the divine energy.

I feel empty right now.

Crazy how someone I recently met because so important to me.

We didn't even spend that much time together.

He did help me find my way in the guild.

He seemed to be interesting.

To have a good sense of humor.

He called himself my friend.

I accepted it.

A failed tamer struggling.

I can relate to that.

I screwed up his taming session.

Yet he still talked to me.

He trusted me to go tame slimes.

We succeeded somehow.

Then we shared a meal.

I felt him open up to me.

We still didn't talk that much.

Still, we somehow started trusting each other.

At least that's what I believe.

Is it true?

I'm not sure.

But I did consider him a friend.

Now, this friend is leaving me.

Leaving this world.

Why?!

I still don't know what happened.

Was it all planned?

Was this an assassination attempt?

What exactly…

As my thoughts are spiraling…

I see something out of the corner of my eyes.

A small blob that twitches.

Then I look at my friend.

His previously lifeless body now slowly breathing.

He's gonna be fine, right?!

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 187: What Is Going On

           

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Chapter 187: What Is Going On

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

****(POV)

There has been an accident happening in one of the testing facilities.

This is problematic.

I wanted to know about the results of the slime.

This is something new and crazy.

Taming a slime.

It was believed to be impossible, even for me.

If I called myself the second most knowledgeable tamer in the area…

No one would dare to claim the number one spot.

After all most of them know the name of Eternal Ice.

While younger than most of my competitors, I also worked the hardest.

Most people wouldn't brave a disaster zone for a pet.

Especially not an elemental.

These are even harder to understand.

Since they are not living beings.

This makes the process way more difficult.

Well, it can't be helped.

I needed that power after all.

Back then anyway.

As I get there I'm told of the issue.

He has been injured somehow.

I inspect the room and I see the marks of the fight.

The system seems to have malfunctioned.

In theory, the worst happening should be the death of the pet.

No harm should come to the …

Ah, I see.

He protected his creature.

Risible how a noble action costed him dearly.

As I'm thinking this, this place's supervisor comes back.

He tells me about where he brought them.

But also about something else.

He tells me about how the young man I accepted as a student handled himself.

How he managed to intimidate that guy with his momentum.

How he subsequently begged for his friend's sake.

How worried he is.

Such a shame.

Such an individual doesn't have any taming potential.

Meanwhile, that guy with his oversized lizard is acclaimed as the pride of the guild.

He got lucky and managed to get a monster egg early.

The man himself is trash.

Well, he does work in what he considers the interest of the guild.

Problem is his worldview is too narrow.

If we followed his advice there would only be tamers with pets geared for warfare.

His argument is that a war is coming.

Yes, a war is coming.

Still, as a guild, we should try to stay out of it as much as possible.

Most of us worship Taras, the god of myriads of beasts.

There is one issue, however.

The core of this god's power is not on this continent.

This means two things.

First, we are just an insignificant entity in the grand scheme of things.

Even what we call the headquarter on this continent would be nothing but a worm their eyes.

This means that the favor we can actually earn is very small.

We also have no champion.

Does that mean we are doomed?

Not especially.

While we are definitely weaker than the other factions, they won't attack us recklessly.

After all, while our backers can't be bothered with our life and death, they do care about face.

Killing their underlings would trigger their wrath.

I say underlings, but in fact is has been ages since we have even received any news from them.

Most people even ignore this.

Only the rank 4 and up know this secret.

Because of this, preparing for war is quite pointless.

Yes, we can become stronger.

But that would also send the wrong message to the other factions.

It would make them believe they need to be wary of us.

Staying completely neutral is the smartest choice.

I am instead suggesting a more balanced development.

Especially toward info gathering.

This way we could avoid any fight directly.

We are also in a peculiar position.

Since we are a guild of beast tamers most gods won't even bother trying to poach our members.

Hosting monsters requires specific infrastructures that are not worth investing in on a small scale.

That is why I find the man stupid.

Extremely so.

Now I'm learning that he is bullying new members.

One even being my student.

Well, ex-student would be more accurate.

Even if I want to teach him, he won't have any success.

I would rather he chose another path.

This world is vast.

There will be always opportunities.

His youth shouldn't be wasted.

Then again, I'm not that much older haha.

I feel like I am aging quicker since I became a rank 4 tamer.

Well, officially I am still a promising rank 3.

Displaying one's full hand is unwise.

After a short walk, I reach my destination.

The one that calls himself little Bai is on the ground unconscious.

At his side his worried friend.

I tell him that I'll handle things from now on.

At first, he keeps asking questions.

Wondering if there is anything he can do to help.

I assure him that it's impossible.

I know exactly why he isn't waking up.

This is something I've lived myself in the past.

This is something that most tamers will never experience.

Something deeper than a regular soul link.

It is what we call a true soul bound.

It happens when two beings are in perfect sync.

This makes it so both fuse together on a fundamental level.

Exactly my situation.

Back when I finally managed to reach that state, I spent a while unconscious too.

I tell him all of that and he is finally relieved.

He seems to really trust that these two will complete the process without a hitch.

Then again, the human did fight for the slime.

Just this proves that there are really good odds of success.

Still, I have two things I am wondering.

First, what will be the result of such a thing?

This is something that has never happened.

Not only will it increase our knowledge directly, but it may even lead to more discoveries.

The second is how did he actually survive in there?

He doesn't have any visible injury.

Judging by the amount of blood in the testing room, he should be dead right now.

What could have happened?

For some reason when I ask him that he switches the topic instantly before running out.

He says he is leaving because he forgot to turn the oven off.

This….is he taking me for a fool?

Also, should I do anything about that tyrant tamer?

He did humiliate tamers I have a good opinion of after all…

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 188: Theories

           

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Chapter 188: Theories

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

Time to get the fuck out of here!

Why?

Okay, so my teacher, or ex-teacher, was there.

He started asking questions about how little Bai managed to heal his injuries.

I kinda panicked and told him I was going home to close the oven.

Not my proudest moment to be honest.

Still, he did let me leave. I guess there is no issue there.

I'll have to see how it develops later but I think it's fine.

I do tend to talk a lot about my life.

That much is true.

However!

There is an exception to that.

I try not to talk about divine power.

Why?

Well simply because I have never heard anyone talk about it before.

Besides the Lunar Goddess, I mean.

This implies that it could bring me lots of trouble.

For all, I know there are people that can extract that power off me.

There is a thing in cultivation stories.

Something called a spiritual root.

Basically, it determines your ability to use various elements.

In this world, they seem to simply call it elemental affinity.

Still, there are horror stories about talented geniuses getting their spirit root stolen.

Not only does that cut off all their potential, but most of the time it kills them too.

To be fair not being able to cultivate in such a world means death anyway.

This place can be harsh I believe.

At the Moon Keep, the old warden did tell me that anyone can become a good poison master.

This at least goes contrary to the cultivation setting.

In it, you need to become a strong cultivator to even be able to mix the poison without dying.

Honestly, let's face it, this does sound ridiculous.

If you come into contact with poison in the first place you ain't doing it right.

Why am I talking about that topic?

Well if that is possible for spiritual roots, perhaps it would be possible for the equivalent here.

That is just a hypothesis on my part.

What if people can cripple me too?

I can defend myself pretty well against the normal populace.

But what should I do if I get hunted by people that specifically know about my powers?

I would be fucked.

I mean they could simply throw me on the bottom of the ocean in a coffin and I'd probably stay there forever.

Even without dying, if they can restrict my movements…GG.

I'm still not sure what the source of my power is.

Perhaps it is a special ability of the body. Some sort of organ or property of the body to wield that energy.

Perhaps it is a special ability of my soul itself. Maybe it's because of all these weird memories I have.

Perhaps it isn't a special ability at all, and anyone can use it.

What if it was easier to understand divine energy for a plain mortal?

What if having cultivated or learned any kind of power system would prevent one from understanding this new one?

How should I explain this…

Ah! I know!

Take a baby for instance.

Growing up with his family he could easily learn the language they speak.

Yet take another language and it may not be as simple.

There could be confusion happening.

I could also say this.

It is easier to draw on a blank canvas.

That is my whole theory about this.

In any case, the energy I came into this new realm with is definitively valuable.

After all, I haven't found divine energy anywhere else.

Meanwhile, mana is all over the place apparently.

I say apparently because I have yet to sense the tiniest strand of mana.

Actually, what if it's the same situation.

What if knowing divine energy prevents me from using mana?

That would make sense.

Or not.

I feel like I would have to ask a god about it.

What is my current relationship with the gods?

So far still, searching for a decent one.

First impression was bad.

Kinda weird how much I dislike the Lunar goddess.

Yet, I have no issue with the Moon Keep itself.

Well, except with the champion there.

Oh and I guess most of the guys there may still consider me an enemy.

This whole faction thing is such a pain.

I remember the old MMOs with two factions.

Already that was complex enough.

Now here there are countless.

I say that but I have strayed far from all of them.

The wild and small towns, not the best places to find political leaders.

Actually, I'm not even sure about the leaders of this current town.

I'd have to inquire about it.

Or not. I don't really care as long as nothing threatens me.

On that note, I think I am good.

I joined a group of woodcutters.

I also worked for the city itself.

This should give me points for sure.

Kinda like the teacher that already has one student he prefers.

Usually, the one that volunteers for all the annoying stuff.

What do they call it again?

School monitor, eh no. Class representative!

Well, I am that guy doing the annoying stuff haha.

Cleaning the sewers is a basic, but necessary job after all!

And I'm back at the camp.

Didn't take that long either.

Seriously, every time I come here, I wonder one thing.

How the hell is there a forest so close to the city?!

This place has big walls, a tamer guild, sewers, and even a library.

No matter how you look at it, it has been here for a while already.

How did no one ever cut that forest?!

How are my companions the ones doing it now?

Was there a sudden shortage in wood?

Why would that be?

Did they suddenly decide they didn't want to have trees in the landscape?

That's not the kind of thing you change on a whim!

Perhaps they have some mage that comes around from time to time and cast a blessing of growth.

Maybe?

I don't know.

As I enter the camp, two of the guys are running toward me.

Did something happen?

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 189: Bad City Officials

           

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Chapter 189: Bad City Officials

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

What is up with these guys?

Did something happen?

"You are finally back!"

"Is the tamer guild still standing?"

Wait…what?

There hasn't been any kind of earthquake or war…

[Why wouldn't it be? The buildings look pretty sturdy.]

"Weren't you going to wage war on them?"

"Did you challenge their star tamer to a life-or-death duel yet?"

Okay…what?!

[What are you guys even talking about? What war? What duel?]

"What's with all the blood then?"

"Who did you kill?"

Do I look like someone bloodthirsty?

Also, why the hell would I try to attack the tamer guild?!

[Calm down you guys! I didn't kill or hurt anyone. I helped move an injured guy.]

"Ah? What happened to getting revenge?"

"Weren't you angry at him?"

[One thing at a time. Why don't you guys slowly explain what happened?]

"That we thought you were getting revenge."

"Yes, what…"

[Wait! Who would I be getting revenge against and why?]

"The star tamer of the guild."

[The guy with the big fire-lizard?]

"Yes!"

[Why exactly would I want to fight him?]

"Because of what he did to you."

"Because of him, you won't receive any payment for the job earlier."

[Are you guys talking about the sewer cleaning?]

They both nod.

[Wait…I'm not getting paid for that?! Why?!]

"You didn't know?"

[Of course not! No one told me! What happened?]

"Well, that guy told them that there was no king slime and that you tried to embezzle funds."

[I'm not sure why he would say that, but they just believed him?]

"Yes, they also wanted to put you in jail, but…."

[What happened?]

"Remember the guard that was leading us? Well, he lost his job to defend you. Actually, he would have been killed if he didn't have many years of loyal service."

[That's bullshit! We help clean the city and that is how they thank us?! Not even having the decency to pay us our just due?!]

"Are you going to get revenge then?"

[Of course!]

"I'll tell the others so we can watch your deathmatch!"

[Wait a damn second! I'm not fighting to the death with anyone!]

"But…"

[No but! Screw that! Never ever challenge someone to a death-match is my personal rule!]

"In order not to take a life? "

"Because they don't deserve your time? Are you just going to execute him?"

Seriously what is wrong with these guys?

No, the reason I won't fight is that you never know when an opponent could be hiding his power.

That and I'm not sure where the unicorn went or even her exact power level.

Otherwise, she could definitely help.

Still, I'm not gonna risk her life for something so dumb.

But what could I …

Ah, I know!

I just had a truly great idea!

Oh, this is going to be fun.

If it works anyway.

To be fair that new plan of mine is a bit evil.

But it also makes perfect sense.

When you don't get paid you don't do the job.

If you did the job already and the client still refuses to pay…

Well, there is only one answer.

You try your best to put everything back how it was.

Goes to the doctor to fix bullet wounds.

Card gets declined.

Doctor takes his gun out and shoots you a few times.

You probably already heard that joke.

Well, this is exactly what I am gonna do.

[What about the money from selling the trees?]

"Ah, that it came in!"

He jogs away and comes back with a small money pouch.

"Here you go!"

*Funds acquired! Ta-da-da*

That is what it would look like.

[Alright guys there is somewhere I need to be, talk to you guys later!]

As I leave, I can hear them talk about the massacre I am about to commit….

Wow, just wow. What kind of man do they think I am?

Also, didn't I just defeat some slimes?

Why do they think I even have the power to accomplish that?

Who knows.

Anyway, I start my master plan.

I navigate the city until I reach the market.

Yes, I asked someone.

Then I find a bakery.

And then I ….

Buy bread.

Tons of bread.

That I wrap into a blanket to carry it.

I buy that too.

Then I'm broke.

Again.

But now I have a ton of food.

With this, I will be able to eat for a long time.

Nope, it ain't for me you see.

Did I just blow up all my cash on a petty plan?

Yes, indeed.

I make my way toward the sewers.

Then I go inside. Somehow, it's not guarded.

Are they not worried at all?

I look at the sea of slimes.

Well, more the small river of slimes.

Still seems to be reproducing fast.

Still, we gotta pump those numbers up!

Time for the bread to shine!

I try to input a tiny bit of divine energy into it.

I want to see if I can trigger a mutation.

Eat little slimes! Become big and strong!

Then show them how wrong they were to say the king slime was a lie!

I'll show them who's lying!

Muahahahhahaha.

"Hey!"

Eh, there is someone here?!

"How are you doing?!"

Ah, it's the slime researcher Kim!

[Hey, nothing much just feeding slimes.]

I can see her eyes shine through the mask.

"Can I join you?! Can I?!"

[Sure.]

Thus we start to peacefully feed the slimes.

This is nice.

It reminds me of the time I used to feed the ducks when I was young.

Oh yeah, apparently you aren't supposed to feed them bread.

Well, I heard that it's more that there are way better alternatives.

Not that it will poison them or anything.

I just hope it will work on slimes.

Eat and grow.

This is a very relaxing activity.

Especially considering my goal of screwing these city officials.

Oh, don't get me wrong.

I don't want any civilian to be affected.

But hey, we are talking about slimes here.

What's the worst that could happen?

These things are so slow haha.

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 190: Sewers

           

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Chapter 190: Sewers

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

Even if slimes reproduce fast it won't become too much of an issue.

These things are actually kinda cuddly.

Except if you are completely unaware and sleeping, there is no way it can do much damage.

Is this an evil plan?

Not really.

It should at least teach them a lesson.

That's what they will get for refusing to pay people their salary!

Not only do they not give us what we deserve…

There is something even worse!

They slander us in order to justify their actions.

Hence why I'm now feeding slimes.

With a potentially cute girl too.

I mean I can't see her face.

Could you imagine a chad voluntarily bringing a girl in the sewers?

Maybe not the most romantic place.

However, there is the upside of being unforgettable.

No matter what.

I'm jesting.

There ain't anything going between us.

I'm here for the slimes.

She's here for the slimes too.

Aren't these little creatures kinda popular?

I bet many people would actually like them.

Maybe in a few months, it will be the rage in the city.

I could easily see it as a fashion trend.

Go on long walks in the park with your bouncy pet.

Maybe I should invest in the slime taming business.

Except that I blew all my money again.

Seriously I used to be good with money.

Well, I think anyway.

As in I would try to keep some for the rainy days.

I don't know why but ever since coming to this world I feel like money is of no consequence.

Probably because I did lack it, but I've been living decently anyway.

There is a certain charm to living in simplicity.

Maybe it's just me, however.

As I'm pondering, I hear footsteps.

"Hurry up, I want to get out of here and go drink."

Wow, I just realized that I haven't visited any bar here.

This is surprising for me.

Then again whenever I'm busy I tend to just focus on that.

Perhaps after getting out of here I could go grab a drink?

Except that I blew all my coins.

So much for living simply.

Two seconds afterward I'm reminded of the harsh reality.

No coin, no beer.

Meh, it's not the end of the world.

Two people turn the corner, they are carrying something.

Upon seeing me us one of them stops in his tracks.

Meanwhile the other falls backward.

Whatever they were carrying is now lying on the floor.

What is even that?

Some kind of big bag.

We are in the sewers.

Is that considered littering?

Then again maybe it's fine to come and throw your trash here.

Maybe me handing bread out is useless.

My companion whispers.

"Let me do that talking."

Eh…sure, I guess.

Do we even need to talk to them?

We can just do our business.

"Hello guys, I'm a slime researcher! The name is KIM! Ah, I think I got lost. Am I supposed to be here?"

Why does she sound like a damsel in distress now?

Also, that was actually a proper introduction.

Did she practice since last time?

Actually, I guess she was really flustered too back then.

Surprised by the whole it is possible to tame a slime thing.

Most people wouldn't care that much.

She being an exception.

For her, that is a big deal.

The one that's the farthest opens his mouth.

"Little lady, you shouldn't be here at all. How about me and my brother escort you out?"

Hum, I guess they have permission from the city or something.

I am not done feeding the slimes…but close.

Ah, whatever.

I dump all the remaining bread in the water.

"Ah? Thank you! Please lead the way!"

These guys are actually helpful.

If I had to describe them they kind of look like thugs.

Except I can't really judge like that.

It's not because they have a few scars and tattoos that they are bad.

Is that a zombie tattoo? It looks cool.

Anyway, they could be retired guards.

Even off-duty guards too.

How does a work shift go here?

Is it the usual 40 hours?

Perhaps it is more. I don't know.

"I'll take the front and my brother the back. Don't worry no slime will hurt you guys."

So nice!

Right, what about what they were carrying?

Are they just gonna leave it there?

Then again, they are escorting us out.

Maybe they'll dispose of it properly afterward.

Must be their plan.

"Right, lady. I don't usually do that, but you seem nice. Want to go on date someday? We can go eat a bite and…"

"No thank you! I already have plans!"

How to get shut down fast haha.

I'm betting she's thinking about some experimentation.

Maybe she'll sneak back here too.

"Oh, I understand…"

Poor guy. I can almost hear his self-confidence shattering.

Should I try and cheer him up?

It could sound insulting if I am the one to do it, however.

You know since I am a complete stranger and all.

People pitying you on their own is kinda bad.

I guess for now I'll just.

*BONK*

I feel a strong power push me to the ground.

Something did hit the back of my head.

What was that?!

"Hehe, lady you shouldn't have brought your boyfriend here you know."

"Actually the issue is that she rejected my date. I wouldn't have minded her doing what she wanted after I was done with her."

"That's true."

Their evil dialogue is interrupted by a surprised and angry voice.

"What the hell did you guys do?!"

"Hehe, simply knocked out your boyfriend. Well, I'm pretty strong you know. It's questionable whether he is alive or dead haha."

"You monsters!"

"Haha, she called us monsters. Can you believe it?!"

"Lady we are worse than monsters you see. We are proud members of the brawny black corpses!"

"Have you never heard of us at all?! No? Wait, seriously?! This bitch is probably an outsider. Would explain the weird mask."

"What do you guys want?!"

"Simple, we'll have fun with you all day long. Then we'll throw your corpse to the slimes as we have been doing. Then we'll exit and act like you never existed in the first place."

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 191: Disposing of Trash

           

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Chapter 191: Disposing of Trash

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

What the hell.

Play with her?

Disposing of her afterward?

As they've been doing?!

What kind of evil motherfuckers are these guys?!

Thinking with their lower bodies.

Lawless.

No decency.

These guys are simply trash.

Pure and simple.

I can hear a despairing and panicked voice.

"Hey, are you alright?! Are you still alive?!"

"Haha, I hit him pretty hard there is no way that he is…"

That's the moment I choose to get up.

Like nothing happened.

I mean if I claim to be number two in defense no one will claim the number one spot.

Not around here I believe.

"Take this!"

I see.

He has a mace.

A metal one.

I guess that's what he used on me.

With his sneak attack from behind.

Actually, that's a bit redundant, a sneak attack from the front doesn't work well.

I still remember the giant white serpent swallowing me whole.

Normally it would probably work.

Except he chose his prey wrong this time.

He fucked up big time.

I don't even bother about the mace.

I let it collide with my face directly.

Except, this time I am ready for it.

*CLANG*

"W-what?! How is this possible?!"

I ignore him completely.

Instead, I turn toward the guy leading the march.

I smile at him.

I can see the incomprehension in his eyes.

Also the fear.

"W-what?! Who are…?"

He's screaming, but I grab his face.

Closing his mouth shut at the same time.

He tries to struggle.

Flailing around without success.

I may not be the strongest, but close combat is my specialty.

How can they evade if there is nowhere to evade?

I keep an iron grip while turning to face the initial assailant.

"W-what kind of monster are you?!"

Funny I remember them saying something about being worse than monsters themselves a few seconds ago.

[Hehe, calling me a monster? Can you believe it?]

"S-stop it! Don't you know who we are!"

[No I don't in fact.]

"T-that, we are members of the Brawny Black Corpses! Surely you must have heard of us?!"

[Nope.]

"W-we have many members! We are kings in the underground here! We have many rank 3 members too! You do not want us at all! If you ask anyone, they'll tell you not to mess with the BBC!"

It seems he truly wants to cling to life.

So much for a guy that was saying he was going to kill both of us.

Also, what's with that horrible naming sense?

He said BBC, right?

Oh my fucking god.

I can't help myself.

I just start laughing.

What's with that acronym!?

Seriously?!

HAHAHAHA.

This is ridiculous.

He is completely confused now.

I look at him.

[So you guys are really big yes?]

"Yes! Exactly!"

[You guys are black, right?]

"Yes, as in dark! We are not to be messed with!"

[And you guys are dicks haha. Ah, this is great. Fucking great haha.]

Seeing me smile he relaxes a bit.

I grab him by the face too.

Seriously why did he let his guard down while I'm still holding his friend?

Weird guy.

Also, what's with that girl?

She is on the sideline with her mouth in an O.

Picture the pika meme and that is her right there.

[You okay?]

"You can fight?! How?!"

[Why wouldn't I be able to?]

"Aren't you a failed tamer?"

[Hey, are you trying to insult me?]

"What about your laborer outfit?!"

[Side-job, what's up?]

"Let me get this straight. You can defeat guys that are rank 2 easily.]

[Yes.]

"You can resist their full attack power without even flinching."

[Also yes.]

"You are able to grab them like they are mere chickens."

[Your point?]

"How the hell are you a laborer?!"

[Needed money is all. Not much, just enough for food.]

She looks as if she has just heard something completely outrageous.

I mean, sure there are probably better ways for me to earn money.

But my power is a bit special.

I'm an extremely specialized fighter.

If my enemy uses movement techniques to run away or magic…

Yeah, I would be forced to just watch them.

I just happen to really shine in cramped spaces.

Actually, aren't I kinda OP in a town setting?!

Ah, but I still need to be careful of powerhouses.

The really skilled ones.

The ones that know special techniques and spells.

That is the kind of stuff that can screw me over.

As for little rats like these guys?

Please.

They are not even a danger.

Looking back at her, she still seems in denial.

I mean she'll figure it out eventually, I guess.

Oh, right there are 2 things I need to do.

Two very important tasks.

Let's start already.

I bring my new "friends" back to the heart of the sewers.

Then I dangle them right above the slimes.

I can see some lazily coming closer.

Then again, I kinda just fed them.

Is it me or slimes are the discount version of piranhas.

Like sure, they might be a little bit more dangerous.

Mostly because they can go on land too.

Well, relatively I'd say they are weaker.

As in the people of this world are so much stronger.

They would destroy the athletes back in the old world easily.

I take the scariest voice I can muster and …

[Alright, you guys will tell me all you know about that organization of yours or else…]

Oh, these guys are really a hard nut to crack it seems.

None of them wants to spill the beans.

I guess they must be worried about their leader finding out.

How dumb of them.

Between me and their leader, I am obviously the scariest of the two.

Can't believe they are underestimating so much.

They are just making incomprehensible noises, probably out of fear.

[You guys want to keep mum eh? You think this will end well?!]

This is why vermin like them never becomes something more.

All because they have a really bad judgment and ….

"Eh…I'm pretty sure they simply can't talk."

She is pointing at them.

Ah, I see the issue.

I am holding them by their mouths securely.

They simply can't talk at all.

Shall we drop some load?

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 192: Fools Deserving of Death

           

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Chapter 192: Fools Deserving of Death

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

I am holding them by the face.

Dangling above a pit of slimes.

They ain't able to speak either.

Explains the weird noises they were making.

Do I put one down to try and change my grip on him?

Perhaps he would try to run.

Right now they aren't going anywhere but better not let my guard down.

Ah, I could ask my companion to break their kneecaps.

Then they won't escape no matter what.

She still looks shaken.

Why is it that she seems more traumatized by the fact that I can protect myself?

The attempted **** and murder not phasing her at all.

This is weird.

You know what, this is too complicated.

Let's just drop some load.

*Throw*

"Noooo!"

*Sound of slimes devouring one shady dude. *

[Alright now that's better. I can use both hands.]

I use my free hand to hold him by the collar.

Then I release his face only to hear a barrage of supplications.

"Please don't kill me! I'll tell you everything! I won't do it ever again!..."

It actually goes on.

He seems very talkative now.

It seems the slimes below are really freaking him out.

Meh, these little things are kinda cute, to be honest.

Well, they do tend to eat all your clothes when you swim in there.

But I gotta say this is the easiest interrogation I have ever done.

He just keeps the info going.

Where their base is.

The number of members they have.

How to recognize them.

Something about a specific tattoo to look for.

Their main businesses.

Let's just say it goes from shady to plain horrible.

The more I hear about it the angrier I get.

Let's just say human rights are not a part of their vocabulary.

He also tells me about the strongest in their midst.

I even learn what he looks like.

Apparently, their chief is only a rank 3 warrior.

How does that even happen?

That is at the level of my first elder.

So much for calling themselves a power.

Compared to the tamer guild they are legit nothing.

Just a stupid bunch with inflated egos.

I make sure my companion has memorized all the info.

He is begging me to let him go.

Promising to behave.

I am not some righteous guy at all.

Who knows if he truly will turn over a new leaf.

Chances are he is only saying this because of the fear of death.

Which to be honest is understandable.

But well, the easiest solution is simply this one.

I release my grip.

He flails his arms around trying to grab something, but he fails.

Before long he disappears never to be seen again.

Oh well.

Thus ends the story of the bad guys we found in the sewer.

Or does it?

There are many left on the surface.

What kind of option should I choose?

I could try to find the unicorn for backup.

Actually, what has she been up to these days?

I can also just charge ahead alone.

Normally I wouldn't for sure, but I may as well.

One, they are weak according to that guy's information.

Two, worst case my horny friend will save my ass haha.

Hell, I could even go beg Eternal Ice for help.

Haven't seen him since he helped little Bai.

I wonder how long it will take before he wakes up.

Apparently, it can be a very lengthy process.

Plus no one really knows cause it's a slime.

Why am I convinced he'll be able to complete the process successfully?

Eh, I have seen both of them eat together.

Perfect fucking sync.

Yep, I'm not especially worried.

[Alright, let's go up and clean the trash.]

This honestly feels great.

I'm on a quest for justice! Not

Why am I even bothering to go hunt these guys?

After all, the two that saw me are dead already.

For all I know, no one is the wiser.

It is not my job either to take care of it.

Honestly, I just want to feed the slimes haha.

See how much I can artificially increase their numbers by feeding them.

Hopefully get it back to the initial numbers before the cleanup.

No way will I let someone profit off my back.

That is how resentful I can be.

I do know it is petty but still.

I ask Kim to guide me toward their base.

She complies.

At first, she isn't too sure about the plan.

But then I tell her about the research opportunity.

Suddenly she is on board.

The next step is to find a sewer entrance near their base.

It takes us a while, but we do manage it.

After that, I tell her to hide for now.

I strut toward my target.

It seems to be a medium-size house with a courtyard.

Is it fine to be that brazen?

There are goons at the entrance guarding it.

I politely go to them.

[Hello, is this the black corpses' headquarter?]

"Yeah, what the hell do you want?!"

Nice.

I don't say a word.

I just grab 2 of them.

Then I retreat toward the sewers.

Carrying my luggage.

They try to free themselves, but I hold them tight.

At first, they scream invectives at me.

Then they switch to threats.

The final step is begging.

Oh, and the turning a new leaf part.

I wonder if they are taught that stuff as an initiation?

Oh well, I throw them in.

With a plop, they disappear.

I have pursuers on my heels.

Just in time.

More food haha.

Starts a game of cat and mouse.

Very quickly I corner most of them.

The few that escape are just too fast.

A few minutes later they are gone as if that was a magic trick.

I return to the surface.

Now they may be preparing for my attack.

But according to the info I got from the dead thugs, everything should be fine.

The city won't do a thing as these guys are getting killed.

They can't openly support such an organization after all.

As for any allies…

Doubt anyone would really care if they disappeared.

This is going to be fun.

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 193: Having Fun

           

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Chapter 193: Having Fun

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

This is going to be fun.

Or not.

It could escalate very easily.

But! I have a plan B, C, and D!

The B and C are to beg for help.

The D being the best if you know what I mean 😉.

That last one is to run as fast as possible haha.

Is it too naïve of me?

I don't think so.

As long as I don't offend some real power, everything should be fine.

The city itself is part of some neutral faction, so they won't lift a hand.

I go back ready to face tons of thugs.

The entrance is deserted.

This is strange, to say the least.

They should have already received reports about me.

Normally they would already be swarming me.

This means that they are probably preparing a trap!

But I have a secret weapon!

Scouting-no-Jutsu activate!

Apparently, there are a lot of them in the main hall.

Didn't I describe this as a medium-sized house?

Yes, I was mistaken.

It seems like they merged many houses to create a territory.

Aka the houses are the walls.

Inside is a pretty big area.

In the middle of it is my target.

As I get there, stand many guys eyeing me.

This is ridiculous.

How are there no women here?

This is discrimination!

Women too can be evil.

On an ornated chair sits the one who seems to be their leader.

He gazes at me.

"You are finally here. You truly are brave, aren't you?"

I mean not especially.

What am I even supposed to reply to that?

"Do you know how many of your enemies remain alive?"

He's about to say zero isn't he?

"There are Z…"

[At least one.]

He seems mad that I interrupted him.

"Soon you will join their rank. Now answer me who sent you? Was it dark eye Darius? Was it lazy eye Gilbert? Was it…?"

What the hell are all these nicknames?!

What next?

Cotton eye J0e?

We could do some back and forth for a while.

However, it wouldn't change the end result that we'll be fighting after all.

There is only one thing to do now.

I get busy.

Somehow my actions surprise him a lot.

"Y-you! Why are you getting naked?!"

He is pointing at me, mouth opened.

The answer is obvious.

I'm tired of losing my clothes every damn time.

Either it gets destroyed, melted, or burned.

Not this time!

As it all falls to the ground, I can feel myself being free.

Free to rush at them too.

I grab 2 underlings and make my escape.

On the way, a flurry of fists and various weapons fall on my back.

Yet I just keep running not bothered by it at all.

All until I get out of and get near the sewers.

For some reason, they have stopped following me.

It is almost as if they don't want to cause too much a ruckus.

Weird.

I promptly unload them into the slime pit.

So far this is really going well.

Oh crap, I just realized something.

In the heat of the moment, I forgot something important.

Oh well.

I go back up.

Intrude in their lair once again.

They are screaming at me and charging.

I just grab two random goons and leave again.

Except that this time I make sure to pick up any coin they may have before throwing them in.

Being wasteful is not good after all.

In such a way I keep repeating this.

Getting hit, but not caring in the least.

At first, they are really angry.

Then they start begging for me to leave them alone.

The more trips I do the fewer guys they have.

No, not because I'm thinning their numbers.

Well yes, but actually no.

Many ran away already.

I kinda understand them.

I try and grab their leader but he's a rank 3.

He manages to evade me and runs away.

Until finally they are all gone from their own property.

This finished pretty nicely.

How many happy meals did the slimes get?

Many.

I'm sure if they could talk, they would thank me or something.

Actually, probably not.

I did kill a lot of their brethren in the beginning.

Now that the coast is clear, comes the best part.

Looting!

Remember kids, waste is bad.

If you get rid of some bad guys you need to properly get everything you can out of it.

It is not even a matter of greed.

No, in fact, it is a matter of work ethic! Also justice!

By making sure to diminish their possessions you are reducing their power to commit evil.

This in turn protects the world you know.

Well, kinda.

After a full sweep of the place, I sadly figure out that they did get the valuables already.

Still, I manage to get myself some clothes, a well-made leather armor, a sword, and some coins.

Pouches to carry said coins too.

Total loot being a few gold coins.

That should last me a while.

That's when my gaze lands on an oil lamp.

This gives me a great idea.

Would really be a shame if….

I slap it on the ground.

You know, as a cat would do.

Then I watch with glee as the fire starts burning….and gets extinguished.

Okay, that was disappointing.

However, I am not one to give up.

I look around until I have more lamps and lots of oil.

Then I carefully make a bonfire with the surrounding furniture.

Time to try again.

*sound of flames engulfing everything*

Now that's more like it.

I leave walking slowly.

Behind me their main hall on fire.

I make my way out nonchalantly as the inferno rages.

I can feel the heat radiating behind.

But I do not turn back.

Nope.

As we all know…

Cool guys don't look at explosions.

Well, I'm pretty sure it's the same for arsonists.

Actually…no. I'm pretty sure most stay to watch their handiwork.

Not, me.

I have slimes to attend to.

Can't wait to see if there is any progress.

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 194: Conviction

           

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Chapter 194: Conviction

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

I can't help but hum as I make my way back to the sewer.

I look like a real adventurer at the moment.

I even have a mask to hide my identity.

Yes, I found it lying around.

Handsome, dashing, and professional.

I would make a great superhero.

Well, without the tights but still.

I'm so cool looking that bystanders are pointing at me excitingly.

Okay, either that or they are seeing me flee from a crime scene.

After all the compound is on fire.

Probably the later.

I finally descend into the sewers and drop the mask.

I can't wait but to see how many more slimes there are now.

The answer being …none.

This is very sad.

I was expecting something to happen.

Oh well, can't be helped.

I guess Kim will be able to slowly study their evolution over the upcoming months.

Maybe there will be an effect eventually.

Also where the hell did she go?

I guess she went home or something.

This would only be normal.

I did spend a while there rampaging.

Yet not a single guard came to see what the ruckus was about.

I guess they simply assumed it was gang-fighting or something.

Which honestly, they wouldn't care about.

I mean I did burn their base but that s all.

I did not touch the surroundings at all.

I slowly make my way across the city, slowly observing the reaction of the guards.

It seems I am in the clear.

Nice!

No one seems to be looking for me.

This means that it is time to celebrate!

I head to the noodles shop.

[Yo, old man!]

"Oh, a known face. I see you were missing my delicious creations."

[Of course! I finally got some cash too! I want extra servings!]

I hand him a piece.

"Is that a gold coin? You do know I don't have that kind of change, right?"

I like how he isn't even reacting to my new attire or wealth.

[How about this, I'll eat as much as I want. If there is any left you just give it to little Bai, deal?]

"Haha, that works for me. The little rascal was going to beg for food anyway. This way I won't have to feel bad for refusing him haha."

[How shameless is he when begging for food?]

"Very. He likes to tell sob stories about his past to try and get some haha."

[Sounds like him.]

"By the way how is he doing?"

[He seems to be at a crucial junction in his training. Something about going to the next step with his pet. He's unconscious during the process, but apparently, it's normal.]

"I see. Not to worry he will be fine. He's a fighter."

[Why do you say that?]

"Just a hunch. I get the feeling that he'll stay alive no matter what. You'd have to show me his corpse to convince me otherwise."

[Hopefully won't happen.]

Soon enough

*Sounds of intense slurping*

[Say, old man.]

"Yes?"

[I've heard that that process can take a long time. Could you tell him something if we don't see each other?]

"Sure, but I'll charge you 5 coppers for the message haha."

I smile wryly at him.

As if that would make a difference.

[Tell him that if he ever hears of The Unnamed God Sect that he's welcomed to join.]

"Oh? I've never heard of it. Where are you guys from?"

[Here haha. If anything I'd say the earth realm.]

"No shit the earth realm! Where would a sect be otherwise?! Not the god realm for sure!"

Well, the thing is even our God is living here.

Or more like it's a figment of my imagination anyway.

"Boy, listen to me well. I'll transmit your message but remember this. If you get him killed, I'll freaking haunt you."

This is nice.

[Alright old man. I will keep that in mind haha.]

This is why small food stall owners are the best.

There is such a stereotype, but it's usually true.

After all, they are people that are very close to their customers.

They learn about them while they are eating.

It makes things more interesting than to just sit in silence.

They also aren't all about profit.

Most of them want either to bring joy to people or simply perfect their craft.

Sure, back in the old world I would eat packed noodles.

You know at home to save time.

But nothing beats having a meal done by a true artisan.

One that has spent years mastering his craft.

One that knows exactly how to adjust the temperature for the best cooking.

It is not about being expensive or fancy.

It is simply a meal full of love.

At least that's the way I see it.

They say nothing beats eating in good company.

Well, this old guy is really nice.

Otherwise, he wouldn't worry about a young guy everyone is dismissing.

Not caring about a lack of success.

When you have a food cart it is all about effort.

The efforts of one man and one man only.

All about selling food so good that people come back.

Over and over.

Every day.

Finding comfort in the familiar savors.

Some might find me crazy for saying that, but these people soon become part of the family.

The ones that you talk to daily.

You learn about them.

They learn about you.

There is a dialogue going.

This is the only good part about dealing with people as a job.

Well, I'm sure there are lots of downsides too.

It's not for everyone.

Some would prefer a job in a cubicle where they can just focus on their task.

I'd say I'm a mix between these types.

I'm not the most outgoing type.

I don't have that many friends either.

However, I do believe having people you are near is important in one's life.

Sure they can become a target.

Even a weakness.

Still, I just need to get enough power to protect the people I care about.

This is why I will keep training.

One day at a time.

Going at my own rhythm.

Until one day I won't be the one scurrying away from the sects.

No, they will be the ones running away from me.

From me and from my sect.

The one I created on a whim.

Of that I am Convinced.

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 195: Information Gathering

           

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Chapter 195: Information Gathering

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

****(POV)

What the hell was that about?!

Seriously?!

I have always been careful all my life.

Making sure not to offend anyone dangerous ever.

Crawling lowly yet reigning over a few profitable businesses.

Then that guy, no, that monster came out of nowhere and started killing our guys.

Being the leader of the brawny black corpses inspires respect.

It should have.

This guy did not care one bit.

Not only did he not care, but he also even fought us naked.

I thought I had seen it all as far as taunting goes.

No, this one is a master.

He did not even say any insult.

He simply started undressing casually.

Then he grabbed some of our guys and retreated god knows where.

I told my people not to chase him.

The whole thing too bizarre to go all in.

His complete lack of fear frightening.

This guy was probably a madman.

Of that, I was convinced.

Later I learned that he went to the sewers.

Apparently, two of our guys went there prior and never came back.

It seems they pissed someone off that they should have stayed clear from.

Now I am stuck dealing with the aftermath.

No matter what we tried he did not die.

May it be fists or weapons.

He simply did not care and kept bringing our guys with him.

At first, I was confused.

Then I understood something.

This guy wasn't especially trying to kill us.

He just wanted to send a message.

Otherwise, he would have killed us directly.

He wouldn't have thrown my men to hungry slimes.

That's when an underling arrived with a bound individual.

One wearing a mask.

"Boss she was lurking around there. She seems to be his accomplice."

She is struggling without success.

"You guys really should let me go! He'll come and save me for sure!"

I haven't been able to survive that long for no reason.

I already have underlings that went to investigate the situation.

I'll have all the details I need soon.

Good thing we ran away.

Who knows how many more of our brothers we could have lost?

Right now we are in a small, cramped shop.

One that sells shoes.

One business that was nearby.

Also, one that is a good hideout.

"BOSS! This is bad! Our place is burning!"

This calls for one thing and one thing only.

"Go back out there and keep gathering information."

"Yes, boss!"

He leaves again.

I can see one of my men looking uncomfortable.

"What is it?"

"*shocked* Ah, nothing boss!"

"You are wondering why I am letting him burn our headquarter, aren't you?

Let me ask you this instead. What kind of man would even dare to burn out headquarter.

He may be a strong fool, but what if he has a reason he dares to invade alone?"

"U-understood boss! Boss is wise!"

Comes running another underling.

"Boss I found out about him! He is a newbie tamer at the guild! He seems to have horrible talent, and no one wanted to take him under their wing except…except…"

"Just spill it out already."

"He's Eternal Ice student boss!"

Oh crap. I'm glad I simply ran.

I can hear footsteps again.

"Boss I have good news! He's a lowly laborer that works in a woodcutting camp! Recently he also took a slime cleaning job and offended the tamer's guild star tamer!"

"How did he offend him?"

"He made a false report saying there was a king slime trying to get more completion reward."

This doesn't make sense.

He was strong enough to bulldoze through our forces.

He is definitively a top rank 3 at least.

One that focuses on body cultivation.

Usually, there are special tactics to use against such a foe.

Maybe not directly, but indirectly it may be possible.

There are always ways to kill such people if you are imaginative enough.

Comes another one.

"Boss! I've found something weird about the guy!"

What is it now?

Why is the story getting even more complicated?

"His pet is a donkey and a weak wolf! The donkey was seen going to the library alone today!"

"What do you mean alone?"

"It was there browsing books."

"A donkey was reading? Are you pranking me?"

"No boss! There is something even weirder. When I asked the guards about it they said they had no idea what I was talking about. They seemed afraid!"

"So he has no talent for taming, yet has a magical donkey that is smart enough to read on its own. He became an enemy of a rank 3.5 tamer and nothing happened to him. He is the student of Eternal Ice. Anything else?"

Comes running another one.

"Boss I've found something!"

"What is it?"

"He has done it many times!"

"What? We are not the first group he attacked!? Who was a victim too?!"

"Ah, no boss I meant it's not the first time he runs around naked in town."

"Fool as if I cared about that!"

"That boss, there is more… I have a theory but."

He seems unsure if he should proceed.

"Go on, speak your mind."

"He was seen going out of the sewers naked. He was also seen carrying bread into the sewers…Could he be some kind of pervert loving slimes?!"

There is no way that…

"Boss I have new info! Apparently, he has a friend that managed to tame a slime that was said to be untamable. There was some kind of accident too, but I couldn't get any more info."

This is ridiculous.

One that is addicted to slimes.

Actually, that might be possible for him.

With his perverse level of defense.

He could literally be taking a slime bath that he probably wouldn't bat an eye.

For all we know, that is what happened.

He learned about slimes when first clearing them.

Then he bonded with them.

This part should definitely not be pictured.

Then he convinced a friend to tame one.

Perhaps because he himself didn't have any taming talent.

Then whatever he did some kind of accident happened.

The star tamer is probably spreading rumors about him because he is jealous of his power.

Eternal Ice is probably befriending him because of that same thing.

How do we fit in that story?

Well, we were using the slime to dispose of some cadavers.

I guess we somehow pissed him off.

"Let the girl go! We are officially not gonna take any type of revenge! Anyone that even tries will finish in a slime stomach. Is that understood?!"

"YES BOSS!"

Hopefully, this will be the end of it…

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 196: Persistent Bastards

           

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Chapter 196: Persistent Bastards

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

Somehow this stop to get food was really nice.

I feel like getting a bite somehow makes one think about life.

When you are peacefully eating.

When you are peacefully shiting.

When you are peacefully vomiting.

The first one makes you ponder about the future.

The second makes you ponder on the present.

Especially if you forgot to bring something to read.

I used to bring that one web novel with me to the toilet.

You know, to keep me busy.

It was kinda funny and had many fourth wall breaks.

At some I would laugh so much I would shit myself.

Literally.

The last one makes you ponder about your past.

I say that because you are either trying to forget it or remember it.

In such a manner I renewed my goal.

To have fun, but no matter what to keep learning.

To keep training.

I am at peace in body and mind.

No one even tried to go after me while I was eating.

This is perfect.

With a skip in my step, I go through the city gate and head toward the camp.

I'm truly at peace and ….

Fuck.

I forgot my sword at the food stall.

To be honest I kinda lost the habit to carry one.

You know ever since the one I had got destroyed by a bone dragon.

This is a warning to everyone out there.

If you ever face one make sure you take on the attacks with your body.

Not your possessions.

Actually, could be a bad plan for most.

Anyway, now I need to backtrack.

I go through the gate again and as I'm in the middle…

A guard points at me!

"You there! Catch this man!"

Ah fuck.

They are hunting me now?

They weren't a few minutes ago.

Time for plan D!

Run away!

I'm almost hoping for them to give up.

Nope, they are diligent.

Bruh, I legit burned a criminal organization.

Can't you guys act like you haven't seen me?

Pretty please?

Apparently not.

I keep running.

They keep chasing.

Let me see there are about 20 of them.

I feel like I could easily dispatch them all.

Won't they send reinforcement, however?

Would it end up with me having to fight the whole city?

My chances would be pretty low.

As they say, many ants can ..tickle?

Wait, no. I know!

Many ants can take down an elephant!

Except I'm not fat and there are powerful guys probably in there.

I'm sure the city has a few strong aces they keep in reserve.

The type to laze around all day and still get paid.

God that sounds amazing.

Could you imagine me at a job interview for such a position?

The guy would be like, what is your specialty?

I'd be like divine energy.

He would either think me a madman or try to get a hold of that power too.

Is what I'm guessing.

"Stop running! You are only making things worse!"

They are persistent.

[Stop chasing me! You are only wasting both our time!]

Ah, I see the lumberjack camp in front.

Will I bring them trouble if I go there?

I kinda want to ask for advice.

To fight or not to fight?

That is the question.

Or a question in any case.

"Hey welcome back we were wondering when…..Why are there guards chasing you?!"

[Beat up and killed some bad people now they are after me.]

"Corrupt guards? I see. Explains it. Run a circle we'll get the weapons."

Then he just dashes away.

[Brother just tell me if I should fight or not? I don't need any help!]

I see they are about to catch up.

*Sigh* Whatever let's do a few laps.

I'm running in circles, big ones.

These guys still coming after me.

Actually, I guess I can just keep doing that.

Infinite stamina in your face bitches!

HAHAHA

I run and I rush, and I sprint.

Until finally they can't keep up anymore.

Mission accomplished! Hell yeah.

As they are panting, I can see my companions approaching.

They are all holding axes.

"Let's kill them all!"

[Wow, wait a second!]

How are they so bloodthirsty?

There are proper steps to take.

I holler at them.

[Hey guys. Looking awfully tired there!]

"*pant* *pant* Captain why did we even have to chase so far, we should have just let him leave."

"No *pant pant* exception!"

So apparently the soldiers didn't want to chase.

Only their leader pushed them to come.

"Can we kill them now?"

Seriously?!

[Dude go chop a tree or something. I got this.]

Now back to interrogation.

[Alright, while I do respect people doing their jobs truly fucked up this time. Give me one reason not to slaughter you all.]

I can see them starting to shake.

Some guy just vomited in the back.

Why?

Must be the combo of physical exhaustion and the sun, I guess.

"I don't want to die."

"This is what I get for following the orders of a fool."

"No, I'm still a virgin!"

"Bro, want me to help you with that? Just bend over and …No need to glare at me."

"Shut all your mouths it is our duty to defend the city and …"

[Hypocrite! Motherfucking hypocrite.!]

He seems stunned for a second.

[Yes, I killed them. Yes, I burned their headquarter. Yes, I stole their belongings.]

They all seem stunned.

[But you know what? They fucking deserved it.]

They are speechless still.

[These guys are the lowest of the low. They tried to kill me! They would have succeeded too if I wasn't able to defend myself!]

"…."

[So you know what? Screw your fake sense of justice. You can all rot in hell for going to the rescue of these black corpse guys!]

"…"

[Speechless aren't you? I saw all through your little games. Now it's time for punishment for…]

"Hum, brother…what are you even talking about?"

Why does he seem confused?

[What?]

"We only stopped you for not paying the entrance fee…all that other stuff it's not our department at all."

[Ah, but I have that robe that says I'm a laborer that has free passage and….Ah. I did take that off!]

Did I almost kill them all over a misunderstanding?

How do I salvage this?

I kinda confessed to a lot of things…

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 197: Life-Changing Decision

           

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Chapter 197: Life-Changing Decision

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

Well, this is awkward a bit.

What is one supposed to do when one accidentally confesses to murder, arson, and thievery …while being chased for tax evasion?

Should I add the usual asking for a friend?

On a scale of fucked to very very fucked, how fucked am I?

Do I have no choice but to silence them?

Maybe I should simply run away and leave this city behind?

I'm not even sure I'm going to be able to get a taming license anyway.

There is no real reason for me to stay.

I guess there is little Bai, but I have no way to know how long he'll be unconscious.

What about Wolfie and the unicorn?

This is weird how long they have been gone.

I guess that if I wander around the vicinity of the town long enough they'll find me.

I need some way to contact them.

I need a projector that I would light up at night aimed toward the sky.

I would call it the Pie-signal.

Then again, I'm not sure I want to be called the Pie-Man.

Sounds like some badass porno actor name.

To come back to the situation at hand…

Come, back, hand…hehe.

Yeah, let's not go on a murderous rampage here.

I'm not going to let them cuff me, however.

After all with how handsome I am, I would be way too popular in prison.

Actually, do they even have prisons here?

Could be mining camps like the slaves back at the Moon Keep or even execution.

Weird how I haven't encountered slaves so far…

Whatever time to …

"Wait…did you say you defeated the Black Corpses?!"

[That…no, of course not!]

"I totally heard that too!"

"What about all the other stuff?!"

"You got rid of these guys?!"

[That you see….]

"That's amazing!"

[Is it?]

"Hell yes! They are annoying! Just not annoying enough to warrant the city to do anything about them."

[I see.]

"Captain, can't we just let him go free?"

"No exception! The law is the law!"

Talk about a stern leader.

I thought they were corrupt but it's the contrary.

These guys were just doing their job!?

Usually, the bad guys would be paying the city officials.

In turn, the guards would be corrupt too.

There would be lots of propaganda to confound the population.

Meanwhile, I would get tangled up in a web of schemes.

Only because of defeating some bad guys.

Then I would kill some guards while fleeing.

This would in turn antagonize the part of the city that is not corrupt at all.

I would obviously fight back and many lives would be lost.

All this bloodshed would convince one of the hidden guardians to go after me.

Now there would be two options.

Either an old monster or an old monster that looks hot as fuck.

You know some hidden genius that ascended early and still is well preserved.

I would run away thanks to some plot hole, I mean coincidence.

Then would begin a whole revenge arc.

I would train until I could come back and wipe the city out.

Sprinkle a few useless deaths in there to add drama and that's about it.

All of this would have happened from me clearing a few thugs.

When I say clear a few thugs, do read feed them to slimes.

Or so that was the scenario I was picturing.

Now I can avoid all of the above if I can somehow convince that one stubborn guard.

"H-hey why are you looking at me like that?"

I absentmindedly answer.

[Nothing just thinking of ways to deal with you.]

"Guys he just said he wants to dispose of me!"

"So, captain?"

"How about we just go back?"

Why are they freaking out now?

[I didn't mean it like that. Look I'm gonna give it to you straight… ]

Then I proceed to enumerate every single point listed above.

The more I keep going the more fidgety he gets.

Meanwhile, the others nearby are getting extremely impressed by my foretelling.

By others, I mean both the guards and the woodcutters.

Ain't this great?!

At the end of my speech, their leader can't sit still.

He goes a few meters away and starts mumbling to himself.

[What is he even doing?]

"Well, he's not a bad guy, but he's a bit too much by the book and dumb at times."

Did he just call his boss dumb?

Then again, he's way too busy to hear him it seems haha.

"He's probably trying to figure out if it is worth disobeying his duty to possibly save the entire city."

[Wait..so you are telling me he's really thinking about risking his life and his city for a city gate tax I wasn't even supposed to pay in the first place?]

"I mean technically if you ain't wearing the laborer outfit you're supposed to pay."

[Isn't this your job to ask for the payment?!]

"Wait…no one asked you for payment?"

[Nope!]

"Wow…just wow. Talk about dumb. Meh, stuff happens."

How can this guy be so casual about this?!

They have been chasing me for so long already!

I promised death and destruction if we were to fight!

His superior is pondering if he should apprehend me.

Meanwhile, this guy is just here chilling!

There is something wrong with this situation!

I look at their group.

[What are you guys going to do if your leader insists on a fight?]

They look at each other.

"Restrain him."

"Beat him up."

"Knock him unconscious."

"Kill him."

What the hell! What kind of subordinates are these guys?!

How did that one guy survive so long?!

Ah, he's coming back too.

[Have you made your decision?]

"I have pondered long and hard! After lengthy self-deliberations, I have concluded that you are definitively guilty!

However, since this is your first offense as far as I know and that I do not wish for needlessly bloodshed I will let you get away with a fine only!

Be grateful for the chance you have!"

I just want to tell him that he's the one that got saved by his own decision.

Like seriously.

Well, good for him.

"However! I will have you account for the crimes you listed against the black corpses! Do not resist for resistance is utile!"

*Sigh* He was so close.

He just had to mess it up.

What will happen to him now?

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 198: Alarming News

           

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Chapter 198: Alarming News

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

He says he will make me account for my crimes.

Now what?

"Follow us back to the garrison or we will apprehend you!"

I take a combat stance, or at least what I believe to be one.

[Bring it on!]

"Soldiers! Capture this miscreant!"

They all look resolute.

Then they swarm over.

All 20 of them.

Finally, they reach their leader.

Shouting war cries ….and they start beating him up.

Wow, they really weren't kidding before.

Aren't they worried about getting charged with insubordination?

Apparently not at all!

Then again if they all do it at once they might as well all claim he fell or something.

Some are kicking.

Some are punching.

Some are slapping.

Is one guy spitting? Damn, that's harsh!

[Hey guys, don't you think you are being too mean right now?]

That awkward moment when your enemy is suffering enough you start feeling pity for them.

One of them calmly starts explaining their reasoning.

I am strong enough to go against a whole cartel by myself.

I am still alive.

Thus them fighting me is a death sentence.

Not only will they die pointlessly, but they will leave behind their families.

This order of his not only compromises these people but also the city itself.

All to defend a group of scumbags.

Trashy guys that didn't deserve living in the first place.

It all really makes sense.

Still, since I am a benevolent guy and a philanthropist at heart….

[Guys make me some room; I want to get a few kicks in!]

There, all good now!

This is abuse?

No this is some physical education.

Before every stupid decision in the future, he will remember this day.

Potentially saving countless lives by doing so.

*Sigh* Aren't I a great role model?

At some point, everyone gets tired of it.

Their leader is left growling on the ground.

"T-this is insubordination I'll…."

Never mind.

Some of them jump back in.

Round 2 begins.

This time as it ends, he remains silent.

I was expecting him to be angry, but he surprisingly takes it well.

Although he doesn't seem to be that hurt either.

Wait, was that all a show?

Ah, no. I can see some blood at the corner of his mouth.

One of the soldiers addresses me.

"With this, we will be on our way. Please remember to pay the entrance fee next time. Have a great day!"

The mad chase ended up with them being so tired they had to take a break.

Then they started a mutiny.

Now they are leaving as if nothing unusual happened.

What the hell?

Meanwhile, my companions behind me are all cheering.

There is still that one guy asking if we should let them leave alive…

Oh my gosh!

I think they haven't been cutting as many trees since I did most of the job.

Is all this pent-up energy getting to his head?

Will he go to town at night and become infamous as Jack the human-cutter?!

For anyone that hasn't noticed it's a really bad wordplay from Jack the ripper and woodcutter.

Points for effort perhaps?

That's when arrives someone new.

"Hey there! I have some urgent information!"

Who is that supposed to be?

[So who are you exactly?]

He chokes a little.

"It's me! Me! You know!"

No, I do not.

I just keep looking at him…

I'm not famous enough to have fans yet I think.

"The guy that led the slime cleaning expedition!"

[Ah! It's you! I didn't recognize you without your guard outfit!]

"*Sigh* Sadly I don't have a job anymore."

[Yep, I heard about that. Truly a bunch of assholes!]

"Yeah, but that's why I'm here today!"

This will probably be a long talk.

I guide him inside the camp where we both get water before sitting down.

He takes on a serious expression.

"I have some concerning news."

[Go on]

"I fear there may be a power out there trying to overthrow the current regime."

[How does that concern me?]

"You should probably try to steer clear from the city at all cost. Chances are it will become a battlefield soon."

[What makes you believe that?]

He leans in and whispers.

"I found evidence of something alarming. I think some people are hatching a plan to create a disturbance in town."

[Why exactly would they want to do that and why are we whispering?]

"They will use probably use the opportunity to launch their attack while the soldiers are occupied."

[Makes sense. What are they planning exactly?]

"This will sound wild but I think people are voluntarily breeding slimes in the sewers."

*PFFFF*

I can't help but spit my drink.

He slowly wipes his face while remaining stern.

What exactly does he know?

Also, why is he telling me the culprit about it?

[W-Why do you say that?]

"Of course this is surprising but listen to this. I heard rumors about a shady masked individual that was asking around about slimes. When I went to check I found a dead body wrapped in some sort of cloth. I believe it was to be fed to the slimes."

Wait a dead body?

Ah, what the two guys in killed in there were carrying!

I forgot about that.

Okay, so Kim is just researching slimes.

About the Corpses guys, I'm pretty sure they just wanted to dispose of evidence.

I'm pretty sure it was all just a coincidence.

It just so turns out that I committed that very crime he is talking about.

Except the purpose is nothing as grand as that.

What lying in ambush?

What try to change the ruling party?

I'm just salty they didn't pay me.

At worst it will become a short-lived slime infestation and that will teach them a lesson.

If some slimes tiny slimes can destroy a city it tells a lot about it.

[Look I'm pretty sure you are overthinking this don't worry.]

Actually, I know it for a fact.

"Still stay away from the city for a while. In case there is trouble."

[Alright, what will you do about it?]

"Nothing. I tried sounding the alarm, but they didn't believe me. They even threatened to kill me. At this point, it's not my problem."

Nice seems everything will be fine.

I think at least.

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

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Ranobes » Updates » The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy » Chapter 199: The Duties of a Lord

           

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Chapter 199: The Duties of a Lord

The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

****(POV)

This job of mine is the best.

I may only be a subordinate to the free diplomatic city of Eaglevein, but life is good.

The true powers reside there.

Meanwhile, we, the surrounding cities are all smaller ones.

Our tasks are mostly to help with taking care of all the paperwork.

For instance, we help merchants apply for trade permits.

We would also cooperate with the tamer guild to determine the able and lawful tamers.

We need to reduce the hassle our superiors deal with.

That is our sole goal and duty really.

It is both a very important job and a thankless one.

Long ago, I would carefully analyze every report and try to show initiative.

I would try to improve the situation and think of new ideas to improve the overall system.

That was when I was young and naïve.

I thought that I would be able to use the fact that no sect is admitted here to have free reign.

Well, there is the shrine of the diplomatic god as in every of their affiliated city.

But I was wrong about having a real decisive power.

After all, it is Eaglevein that ends up taking all the important decisions.

We simply follow suit.

As much as I dislike it, this whole thing is a power struggle shitshow.

The only reason it is even accepted as a capital in the continent is that it welcomes people from everywhere.

Also hosts more churches than anywhere else.

Every big power has a building there.

That is why our existence is necessary.

We prevent some of the dangerous elements to reach it.

We are nothing more than glorified watchdogs.

Still, there are definite perks to it.

I have complete power over this small territory.

Well as long as I don't steer from the established guidelines.

This means that I actually have the power to delegate haha.

Why work seriously when you can be playing around?

This is something that took me a long time to realize.

You gotta enjoy life.

So what if there are some complaints?

As long as it doesn't go above a certain threshold it's fine.

Gotta make sure no fire starts but that's about it.

If a few pots get broken it's fine.

At worst, some people will complain.

Today is a good day.

After a short day of work, I can finally relax.

I have invited two young beauties to privately dance for me.

The kind of dance that is intimate.

The kind that gets the blood boiling.

The kind that tends to be so heated.

The kind that mixes well with wine.

The kind where pieces of clothing slowly fall.

The kind of dance that indubitably ends with heavy exercise.

You know that kind of dance.

The seduction.

The teasing.

The slight biting.

The passion.

The moist breath on my ear.

The sweat glistering on the bodies.

The…

"My lord there is an ancient captain that says that has an urgent message for you!"

"Can't you see I'm busy!"

What a fool.

The naked beauties in my arms should be indication enough.

"T-that my lord, he is claiming to have critical information that threatens the safety of this very city!"

How annoying!

"Fine, did you advise him that he would be punished for a false report?"

"Of course my lord!"

I signal the ladies to wait for me.

I'll meet him in my office.

It is opulent enough to impress.

Still, it is a place I truly abhor.

The less time I spend here the better.

In it is a man waiting for me, sitting.

What is this?

When he said ancient captain I was picturing some old man.

This one looks too young.

Why did he leave active duty?

"Why isn't he a captain again?"

"My lord he was removed from his functions for mishandling a slime cleaning task."

Are you kidding me?!

This guy failed a job so simple!

How?!

A child armed with a stick could successfully complete it.

"Why didn't you chase him out then? He's obviously incompetent!"

"*Whisper* Sir, he a relative at Eaglevein. While he isn't anyone important, I believe we should follow protocol and hear him out at the very least. Then we can drive him away."

I see.

This is why.

If he tattles this could be troublesome.

The fact that he knows someone there means eliminating him could be risky too.

There are many ways to investigate using magic.

Well, time to work.

"Well, hello young man. What brings you here today? Would you like some tea or anything to eat?"

"My lord I have cause to believe that there are powers lurking in the shadow trying to undermine Eaglevein."

"Is that so? What evidence do you have? I will definitely take this new information into account!"

"There have been eyewitnesses of a shady individual going around bringing up the topic of slimes and I believe people are feeding slimes in the sewers."

"Slimes is it? What would be the purpose of all this?"

"My lord I believe they are trying to artificially create king slimes. I have already encountered one! This could cause a lot of problems to the city. While the guards would be busy, they would then strike!"

Wow. Simply amazing.

This is the next level of craziness.

Not only did he fail to kill slimes, but now he's inventing all this story to try and absolve himself.

This guy is not only stupid but extremely delusional.

Does he think I will simply believe him and give him his captain job back?

As if I would believe that there are king slimes in the damn sewers.

What else?

Maybe there are unicorns in our libraries?!

Beast kings casually walking in our midst?!

Perhaps vampires lurking in the shadows?!

Gods among us mortals even?!

All of this is so damn ridiculous!

Still, I need to remain professional.

No matter how crazy the guy is.

"Thank you! I will send a team to scout and give me a detailed report! Escort our guest outside and give him a few silvers as thanks for the information! Now if you'll excuse me."

I promptly get back to my comfy bed where the two fairies are awaiting my heroic return.

Coquettishly one asks:

"My lord, what was it?"

"Haha, nothing but a fool. Now, where were we?"

So what if the other guy complains.

I followed protocol and made sure it was nothing serious.

What is the worst that could happen?

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The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guy

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