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In the Shadows by Some Guy In An Ambulance

Anime » One Piece Rated: M, English, Adventure & Crime, Absalom, G. Moria, Shichibukai, Words: 137k+, Favs: 788, Follows: 955, Published: May 10, 2019 Updated: Oct 30387Chapter 23

"Alright Red, we're done here. Fetch me some celery, and meet me in the General Zombie's resting place." I rubbed my bloodshot eyes in irritation.

"Yes sir, in the Chapel, got it. Before I go, I wanted to inform you that there's an abandoned island in sight. I know it was one of the things you've been searching for. I know you want to train even more sir, but I'm concerned over your health…I have to ask sir. It's been three days since you've come to the Freezer Block, are you sure you're getting enough sleep."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm busy with work, now stop lollygagging around and get me my snack." I interrupted Red, and gestured for him to leave.

Placing the Impel Down prisoner's shadows into the corpses was a tiring affair. However, it was an extremely rewarding task. First, I went through the entire catalogue of corpses we stored in the Freezer Block. There were well over 5,000 options to choose from, but…more than half of the corpses were of weaklings. People who had never seen a day of combat in their life, ordinary farmers, fisherman and the like. Essentially village people. That's 2,500 cannon fodder corpses right off the bat. Furthermore, maybe around 1,000 were weird things like that tree zombie, spider rats, or the zombies who lurk in the mansion walls. Utterly useless in an offensive war.

Thankfully, there were some decent options. For one, about 500 deadly looking animals were in good condition. There were even 30~ animal hybrid monsters as tall as me, similar in strength to the spider monkey. Around 200 of the humanoid zombies were marked by Hogback as having advanced muscles. They were hulks that stood on average at around 2.13m. Leaving the remaining 770 corpses to be human animal hybrids. Some had tusks, animal heads, or animal ears. There was an endless permutation for the types of hybrids available.

I went through each and every one of these corpses meticulously and precisely. I could've easily stuck any shadow on me into a corpse, and walked away with a brand new zombie army within an hour. Instead, I spent an entire three days carefully selecting which shadow to put into which body. Pairing the right shadow, with the best body possible was like finding the best armor set in a videogame for your class. Some bodies better fit aggressive personalities, or those shadows skilled with martial arts needed a body with hands, or powerful legs to work. This was all thanks to shadow reading, and a catalogue I had that had a picture of all the zombies and listed their traits.

Right when I was about to leave, I noticed a corpse I had set to the side earlier on in my task.

"Oh yeah, this guy seemed kinda special. What did the catalogue say, something about being a martial artist?" The corpse was a green fishman, with fins going down his back, and a tusk sticking out of his head. He had the number 4,021 printed on his arm. Looking at the number, I flipped through the catalogue like I'd done a thousand times in the past few days, and found a short description.

Number 4,021. Before death, he was a member of the Sun Pirates. With a bounty worth 103,513,000 his moniker was 'Green Piece' and famous for launching acid from the webbing between his fingers. -Special Note, by Dr. Hogback- 'I've returned his ability to produce acid, Fos Fos Fos!'

A 100 mil bounty eh? I rubbed my chin. I quickly checked over the shadows I'd collected from Impel Down's Level 5. "Swordsman, no that won't do. A sniper? That's a rare talent, but still not what I'm looking for. This guy's a martial artist, but from the Long-Arm Tribe the style's all wrong! This one's a boxer, I suppose it'll do." After muttering to myself for a bit, I had finally found which shadow I wanted to place within Green Piece. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a squirming shadow.

"Ki shi shi shi, you've been with me for more than three days already. Surely you can feel the draw towards your monarch!" The shadow squirmed with a renewed vigor to escape my grasp, and return home.

"In order of importance, I command you to obey me without question! You are forbidden to do damage to me or mine willingly, or unwillingly unless instructed otherwise. You are to act as my perfect servant to the best of your ability. Follow Absalom's, Perona's, Hogback's and any new officer's commands in order of seniority. Now. Accept your place as zombie number 4,021 code name 'Green Piece." Saying the same line for the umpteenth time, I tossed the shadow into the corpse, and got back to business.

"What are your orders master?" Green Piece saluted.

My sleep deprived brain told me to snap at this guy for interrupting me. Fortunately, my rational side reminded me that this guy was Zombie General material. The only one out of the thousands of corpses in the Freezer Block, excluding Oars Jr. but that was a can of worms for another day.

"…follow me Green Piece, you're a named individual, so of course, you belong with the Zombie General's."

Sadly, I didn't have any legendary corpses to use this time. Green Piece was good, but he wasn't someone at the very top. With a bounty like 100mil, he was probably around a similar strength as Zoro or Luffy pre-time skip. Although bounty didn't always correlate with strength it was still a good indicator. Which was why I was on my way towards the Zombie General's resting place. I was going to replace my General's shadows with inmates from Level 5's shadows.

When I had been going through the Level 5 shadows, I had made some excellent discoveries. Even thinking about it now had me salivating. Any fugue I had because of a lack of sleep had instantly been broken.

"Ki shi shi shi, the inmates of Level 5 truly don't disappoint! Each and every one of them has a bounty over 100 million! Oh Sengoku, thank you! Thank you for this gift you've given me! If not for you, how would the Gorōsei ever allow me into Impel Down? Ki shi shi shi shi! Ki shi shi shi!" I punched the air a couple times in excitement. During my punching routine, a black sheen briefly appeared on my fist, splitting the air in two. My crew was going to be unstoppable!

'Why is he smiling like that? At least new boss never said I couldn't commit suicide.' Green Piece consoled himself as he followed to the side.

"Be glad Moria-sama granted your shadow back. Even if it's temporary, it's more than you deserve." Absalom carried a struggling Kenji by the scruff of his neck towards the gun range cum bootcamp.

"Let go of me! Or is it that you enjoy holding onto prepubescent boys. Virgin! Just like your obese bo-."

Hissing in revulsion, Absalom tossed Kenji onto the cobblestone path, and backhanded him across the face.

"Listen here boy, you may get away with that kind of sass when addressing me, worst I'll do is slap you around. But don't you ever. And I mean ever let me catch you disrespecting the Captain. Otherwise, you'll get more than a couple slaps upside the head. Understand me?"

Kenji sat on the ground, covered in dust. He wiped the blood off his lip, and stared murder at Absalom.

"I said, understand, boy?" Absalom narrowed his eyes, and crossed his arms.

"Tch." Spitting out a mouthful of blood, Kenji stood and bowed.

"Hmph. It'll do for now; you won't be so mutinous once Sergeant has been through with you. With his recent exploits, Moria-sama finally has a batch of soldier's worthy of being trained. You should treasure this experience. I know I will." Absalom smirked to himself.

"I am Gunnery Sergeant Omaida, and I will be your Senior Drill Instructor. From now on, you will only speak when spoken too. Your first and last words out of your mouth will be 'Sir!' Do you understand that!" A gravely voiced, lanky zombie paraded back and forth between a line of 50 incredibly well-defined zombies. The shortest of which was no less than 2 meters tall.

"That's your que. Captain said you can't even imagine earning your freedom until you've impressed me. Pass Sergeant's training, and I'll tell the big man upstairs about your performance. Now get!"

With a push to the back, Kenji was sent stumbling into the line of zombies.

"Why you!" One of the zombies Kenji had bumped into turned around, and pulled a dagger.

"Ah! A volunteer!" A lanky arm reached out, and judo tossed the zombie onto the ground.

"What's your name son." Sergeant helped the zombie up.

"I'm given the designation 3,222. But everyone just calls me Lumpy, on account of the lumps on my forehead." Lumpy answered with a smile.

"Whooo, Lumpy's gone an done it now!"

"Yeh yeh yeh, who would call themselves Lumpy?"

"Lumpy likes it hard!"

The lined-up zombies devolved into a rowdy crowd no better than a group of drunk frat boys. Hooting and hollering at his expense.

"Lumpy huh? Do you know your first mistake, Lumpy?" Quick as a whip, Sergeant's no-nonsense voice silenced everyone present.

"Uhh, nope?" Lumpy scratched his head in confusion.

"Your first mistake is that when talking to me, you failed to begin every sentence with 'Sir" Sergeant drew his sword, and smoothly decapitated Lumpy.

"And your second is that you didn't end it with 'Sir!" Sergeant flicked his sword, and sheathed the blade.

"If you survive my training, you will leave this island a weapon. Each and every one of you will be a precision tool, boring your way into the enemy. But until then, you're worth less than the shadow's animating you. You may think that because you're special zombies, you won't be expendable. As Lumpy has just demonstrated, you'll soon find out just how expendable all of you really are! Do you understand that?!"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"Bullshit! I can't hear you."

"SIR, YES, SIR!"

"Lumpy, may his soul rest in peace has taught us all a valuable experience. First lesson worm food! Remember this saying, Light is Alright. As the undead, we can keep moving as long as we have our shadow's. Leg's and Arm's can be removed, and we can keep battling. Our spirit is kept in our torso, lose that, and you're dead! Our heads keep the spirit grounded to the earth, lose that, and you're dead! Do you understand that?!"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"All we have to do is shout? All this zombie stuff doesn't really apply to me. Kuru kuru kuru, this will be easier than washing grandad's back in winter!" Kenji whispered to himself in glee at the easy pass.

"Who said that? Who the fuck said that?! Who's the slimy little revolutionary shit, cross eyed sister fucker who just signed his own death warrant?!" Sergeant raged at the group of stunned zombies.

"…."

"No talker's?"

"Was it you, you fishman smelling fuck?" Sergeant gripped a walrus tusked zombie.

"S-Sir, no, sir!" Walrus Tusk trembled in fear, the fish stink emanating from his body grew twice as thick.

"…Sir, I did it, sir!" After some hesitation, Kenji stepped forward, determination in his eye.

"Well, no shit! You look like a blade of grass, all these men here are no shorter than 2 meters. You don't even come up to their chest! What have we got here, a fucking momma's boy!? Private Virgin? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to the Castle Mast, and fuck Perona."

"Sir, I take full responsi-" Kenji got halfway through his statement before he was sucker punched in the stomach. Falling to his knees, Kenji let out this morning's breakfast all over the floor.

"You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've got your ass! You will not laugh; you will not cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best unfuck yourself, or I will never let you get a good night's sleep for the rest of your life! Do you understand that?!"

"Sir, yes SIR!" Kenji unsteadily got up off his knees, and shouted at Sergeant.

"Ooooo, that Omaida drives me crazy! If it wasn't on Moria-sama's order, I'd have given him a piece of my mind! How dare he treat Kenji that way!" During a break in her training, Perona observed Kenji with one of her hollow ghosts.

"It's for the best Perona-sama. The boy lacks discipline, he's only what, 16? You're 23 already, and you don't have the same problem. You're quite mature for your age." Kumashi the giant stuffed bear interjected.

"…."

"Come to think of it, it's kind of creepy that a grown woman like you is spying on a prepubescent boy during your free time, if you ask me-"

"Kumashi."

"Yes Perona-sama?"

"…." With her face shadowed over by long pink hair, Perona growled at Kumashi.

"Ah, I've said to much."

"KUMASHI!"

Soon after, the sound of explosions could be heard all throughout the forest.

"Ah, how come I have to watch over her training? Where's Red when you need him?" Yellow stood timidly to the side as Perona brought destruction and wrath to the landscape.

"Perona-sama, stop that this instant, master has summoned the officers to the throne room, he has something he wishes you to witness!" Flying in on the back of a zombie that had the face of a pig, and the body of an eagle, Red commanded Perona.

"Nyeh, I'll do what I want, you can't tell me what to do!" Perona stuck out her tongue, and pulled down her eyelid in protest.

"You know the chain of command. I'm just following Moria-sama's orders. Besides, I'll tell master you're slacking in training if you don't come with. Yellow will back me up, won't you Yellow?"

"Uhh. Uh, right!" Yellow nodded along.

"It's settled then!"

"Hmph! I'm only going with you cuz I feel like it. Let's go Kumashi!"

"Heh heh, thanks for the save Red." Kumashi waved, and ran after Perona.

"Ki shi shi shi, welcome Perona, we've long been waiting for your arrival. If you kept us waiting any longer, why I'd think you loved training so much, I was going to triple it! Isn't that right gentleman?" I wore a smirk as I eyed Absalom and Hogback.

"Fos fos fos, you're all skin and bones Perona, let me replace your muscle's and tendon's!" Hogback took out a tape measurer, and measured Perona's arm length much to her discomfort.

"She'd fit right in with her boytoy at bootcamp, that's what I'd say Moria-sama!" Absalom joined in on the fun.

"Sorry for being late Moria-sama, it won't happen again." Perona nodded in my direction.

"You get a free pass this time. In any case, on to why I summoned you all on such short notice. The new General Zombies were a riley bunch this time around. After learning about their bodies past legend, quite a few had thoughts of rebellion." I paused and glared at the Zombie General's gathered before me. Of the 40 or so General ZOmbie's I had replaced, Captain John, the silver knight, and the man with the fu manchu mustache were especially difficult to deal with. Resting within them were the absolute strongest shadows I had at my disposal.

Strong wills from the fifth level of Impel Down, combined with the corpses of legendary warriors was a combination made in heaven when it came to making undying warriors. However, even with my devil fruit, it was hard to suppress their overwhelming wills.

"In order to placate their revolutionary desires, I've decided to showcase my might before the masses." I explained before my crew.

"You damn zombie's can't see Moria-sama's greatness? Captain, you should just ditch these guys. They'll be worthless for the Thriller Bark Pirate's." Absalom complained.

"Word's are for the weak. Take my sword!" Fu Manchu rushed towards Absalom, his rhinoceros legs thundered at great speed, and the light shown a golden glow off the reflection of his bronze armor.

"Can't hit what you can't see!" Absalom jeered.

Absalom preceded to shoot at Fu Manchu with a handgun from all sorts of angels.

"Parlor tricks!" Fu Manchu swiped his giant sword to his left at great speed.

With my ability to feel the presence of all shadow's, and observation haki, I knew Absalom was about to be struck. In response to the oncoming danger, I quickly set-up a barrier.

Clang!

In between seemingly empty air and Fu Manchu's sword, I had erected a 5 meter thick wall of shadow. Fu Manchu sliced through it near seamlessly, but it was enough time for Absalom to dodge.

"Hmph" Fu Manchu snorted. Sheathing his blade, he gave me a look of disrespect and turned to look to the side.

"I would've had him Moria-sama, let me go one more round with him. I didn't use my haki properly. I'll get him this time!" Absalom rolled up his sleeves, prepared for round two.

"Enough Absalom."

"But Moria-sama!"

"Enough!" I glowered at Absalom until he looked down in submission. Satisfied with my act of dominance, I wore a smirk. It was time to earn this powerful group of zombies loyalty.

"So, how exactly are you going to 'demonstrate your might before the masses' oh great one?" Captain John wore a mocking smile as he took a swig of wine. Liquid spilling out of his exposed ribs.

"…" Silver Knight gripped his axe harder.

"There." I pointed outward towards the sea.

"Going to amaze us and make a big splash in the water?" John's tone of voice oozed sarcasm.

"Red, tell them."

"Yes, Moria-sama! Ahead of us is a mostly uninhabited island, known as Rock Fire Island. It's circumference is similar to that of our ship, coming in at around 23km~"

"So you're going to what, sink an island? Neat." John put his hands in his pockets and walked towards the railing.

"But Moria-sama, you're not going to use Shadow's Asgard are you? You worked to hard to get all these shadows! The zombies may be somewhat impressive, but it's not worth using up your stock just to impress some nobodies!" Absalom cautioned.

"I appreciate the concern Absalom. But. Ki shi shi shi, you'll be in for a surprise. Watch, as I demonstrate my might before the masses." At that, I gave a cheeky smirk towards John, and jumped out the window.

Within a minute, I'd flown myself above the island. Raising both of my hands in a theatrical fashion, I began to concentrate. If I was a Saiyan, I'd be shouting HAAAAAAAHHH to charge my attack. In reality, as a shape manipulator, I had to put my mental concentration to the maximum. Imagining the mental image, and making it a reality. For the task at hand, if there was any one thought I was thinking, it would be more.

Before me, a rectangle of shadow began to take shape. More. The rectangle underwent a quantitative change, and more than doubled in length, covering the circumference of the island.. More! The rectangle became thicker, and raised in height. MORE! The shadow grew and grew, until the entire island, and some of the surrounding sea was completely blocked off from the sun.

"Hah, hah." Panting from the mental excursion, I began to direct the massive shadow I had willed into creation over the last five minutes. Not a second after I had regained my bearings, it had begun. Falling upon Rock Fire Island was a rainstorm of shadow. At first, it was large blobs moving at incredible speeds, tearing the earth asunder. Then, smaller, skinnier javelins moved at even faster speeds, piercing deep into the earth's crust.

"Not so impressive." Fu Manchu crossed his arms.

"Ja ja ja, you don't know what's what mustache man." John placed his hands behind the back of his head, keeping up a mocking smile.

"…." Silver Knight gripped his axe even harder.

"With this, no one can doubt the power of the Thriller Bark Pirates. You guys. You'll defiantly be avenged!" Absalom beamed in joy as a tear slid down his cheek.

"Master is strong. You know he dotes on you Perona, you-" Kumashi patted Perona on the shoulder, only to be interrupted.

"I'll support him in my own way!" Perona clenched her fists in renewed determination.

All across Thriller Bark Island, zombies stopped what they were doing to see the far off destruction.

"Hazzah to the future Pirate King!"

"Moria-sama number one!"

"No, Ryuma number one!" A zombie whipped out a foam finger in protest, starting a brawl with the surrounding zombies.

Cold sweat fell down Kenji's back at the sight of Moria's overwhelming power. "I wanted to fight that, that monster, and save grandpa and everyone else? Grandad, Priest...Kami, what do I do!?"

"Well kiss my lily white ass goodbye! Did I say you lot were expendable? After this, the chief will think you're twice as expendable! You'll have to work twice as hard if you don't want to end up as the first wave of canon fodder upon the beaches. Move it, move it! Double time you shit lickers!" Sergeant ran in tandem with his new recruits.

Within five minutes, the entire island was left a smoldering ruin. Surprisingly, I could get a general sense of how the island was…feeling? Due to shadow reading? Like a terminally ill 90 year old, the island was crying out, gasping for its final, last desperate breaths. For a moment, I felt bad, but then I looked back at my base, and thought about that Fu Manchu mustache bastard.

"Fuck it, it's just an island. Time for the grand finale!"

Less than a quarter of my rectangle remained, like a near empty magazine of a gun, the rectangle had spent most of its energy. In fact, the shape could best be described as a gelatinous blob. However, it would be enough to suit my purposes. Raising my arms high into the sky once more, I began to direct my shadow. Sluggishly at first, the blob began to condense until it became the size of a carnival cruise ship.

"Let's try this then, it's a classic." With a smirk, the blob took the shape of an incredibly large javelin. My shadows already moved at impossible speeds, now to add the rotation. Less then a minute later, my cruise shaped javelin was spinning so fast, it put every man made centrifuge to shame. Barely able to control the spinning weapon of mass destruction, I set it loose upon the center of the island.

A second later, the entire island cracked, and crumbled to pieces. It was as if an island never existed there to begin with.

"Ja ja ja, I don't know about you, mustache, but I'm going to start calling him Moria-sama from now on." John put his hands back into his pockets and walked away.

"Hn." Silver Knight nodded, and walked out after John.

"Tch." Fu Manchu spit to the side, nodded, and followed after them.

The Holy Land, Mary Geoise

"Elders, Elder's!" A breathless Rear-Admiral holding a report burst into the office of the Gorōsei.

"What is it this time Admiral." Black Hat demanded.

"Hah, hah. Here is the report, honorable Elder's!" The Marine bowed, and handed over the report, before bowing and leaving the room.

"Trouble in Paradise?" Glasses questioned, ruffling his gi in the process.

"It appears a menace from the past has once again brought trouble to the Blue's." Black Hat said solemnly, passing the document over.

"So it's his old enemy. This will be a perfect debut." Long Hair stroked his mustache.

"Don't be so hasty, this man threatens the whole world. We should plan an ambush on him. For all his power, he never was all that bright." Bald's boisterous voice shouted out.

"Agreed." Four of the elders came to a consensus much to Long Hair's consternation.

"Hm. Regardless of the outcome, the World shall once more know pain." Long Hair wore a stern expression as he stared aimlessly at a globe of the planet.

AN: Thanks for reading. Go on google maps, and right click to measure distance from your house, and then go out to measure 23 kilometers to get a true perspective of how large Thriller Bark Island is. That's 14~ miles in circumference. I chose this size, because it's roughly the size of my city.

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In the Shadows by Some Guy In An Ambulance

Anime » One Piece Rated: M, English, Adventure & Crime, Absalom, G. Moria, Shichibukai, Words: 137k+, Favs: 788, Follows: 955, Published: May 10, 2019 Updated: Oct 30387Chapter 24

"It's been a while since we've all been together like this." Sitting at Hogback's dining table, I casually ate slices of an orange while addressing my crew.

"It's good to have you back Captain. By the way, I received word by den den mushi that the ships you looted from Marineford will arrive later today." Filing through a stack of papers, Absalom gave me a curt nod before muttering about supply and demand, liabilities, and leverage?

"Yes, yes! We're all happy to be here Moria-sama! Why, Cindry-chan and I were getting busy, I mean, we were very busy these last few days accomplishing your task. You'll be happy to know that with Cindry-chans eye for beauty, and my sewing skills, we have dozens of outfits all prepared. I took pictures, and put them in another catalogue! Cindry-chan has a talent with photography, why just the other week, she took pictures of my-"

"Excellent work Dr. Hogback! I'll trust Cindry's fashion sense. Make about a hundred copies of that catalogue. We can sell specialty, limited edition clothes to the wealthy using that catalogue, and mass produce common clothing attire to the working class. Of course, this all hinges on the factory being built in the first place. Absalom, do you have an update for me?"

"Just a second Moria-sama. This will take a moment to set-up." Absalom began setting up a chart, and pulling numerous poster boards out of a stack.

At this time, I spotted a glum Perona sitting at the corner of the table. She was slowly twirling her spoon, and playing with the likely cold porridge in her bowl.

"Perona, Red tells me you've made remarkable progress in your training. That you can actively control more than a dozen ghosts, and can now comfortably scout the whole island without losing concentration. This is an achievement worthy of celebration!" I showed my approval by grinning and nodding in Perona's direction.

"…I guess." Perona continued to slowly stir her spoon in the porridge bowl.

Is this the dreaded teenage angst? My God. I never had a sister or daughter, so I've only seen other men suffer this from afar! Countless thoughts ran through my mind as to what the cause for this angst could be: 'that time of the month' 'bitchy schoolmates' boy trouble.'

"Boy trouble…" I narrowed my eyes in consternation. Perona did just acquire that new servant kid. What did she call him, Ken something? Why didn't I see it before! It was so obvious! Some dirty boy washes up on our island, and woo's the ice princess with his endless determination, and happy go lucky personality! He even has a shounen protagonist name! Kenshi, Kenichi, Kenpachi, Kentomaru. Or just straight up Ken!

"M-Moria-sama, uh, you're absolutely right! It is something worth celebrating, no need to get mad!" A concerned Perona called out to me. Her voice was small, as if she spoke any louder, some alarm would trigger, and all mayhem would be unleashed.

Looking about the room, everyone was staring at me with expressions of caution. Even Absalom had taken a small step back. What, did I have something on my face? Then my eye caught my portion of the table.

"When did I?" Holding up a piece of wood, I noticed that the section of table closest to me was completely shattered. Not only that, but similar to a fighter from DBZ when they have their ki surround them, shadows were rippling and roiling around me fiercely. Like a coiled dragon, they were ready to explode outward into action.

"Ahem." Coughing to the side, I released the shadow aura, and tossed the wood to the side.

"That's correct Perona, when the plunder arrives from my battle at Marineford, you'll be given a ship and crew to do with as you please."

After a moments pause, my crew responded to my change in attitude.

"A mighty reward, and a show of further responsibility to come. You've earned it Perona, don't let down Captain's expectations." Absalom gave an entirely serious nod in Perona's direction.

"Fos Fos Fos, when your new crew arrives, I'll work day and night to perfect them! Not even Cindry-chan can distract me from this! Come Cindry-chan, we have to release all of today's stress before we get to work!" Hogback reached out for Cindry's hand, and contrary to expectations, she dragged him off in a hurry to parts unknown.

"If it wasn't with a corpse, he'd be the luckiest bastard in the sea." Absalom muttered to the side.

"I won't misplace this trust you've granted me Moria-sama!" Perona stood and bowed in my direction. Her ears were steaming scarlet in embarrassment, from what, I couldn't say. The red ears of embarrassment were contrasted with a face filled with pride and satisfaction.

"Good, good!" I clapped my hands in excitement, donning an eager smile. Now no more angst please Perona, it's bad for my liver!

"I've been thinking, Perona. You ate the hollow-hollow fruit. When you leave your body in an astral state, you're essentially making your body hollow. Since you're a paramecia, could you push someone's spirit out of their body, and make them hollow? Would your spirit then be able to posses their body? Or maybe one of your little ghost hollows would be able to do that?" I shared some of my theories about power use with the room.

"Mhm." Perona nodded sweetly, but her lack of enthusiasm didn't escape me. Ah, teenagers.

"Consider today as a rest day, and feel free to think about my little theories. We'll have you test them out on some of our prisoners in the coming days. Perhaps you can recruit those two I had set my eyes on, the pirate El Drago, and the mercenary Golas. I know you must feel cooped up on this musty island doing nothing but training. In any event, I've blathered on long enough, you're excused."

"Horo horo horo! Thanks, Moria-sama!" Perona bowed once more, gave a shallow nod in Absalom's direction, and bolted out of the room with a whoop.

Sharing a knowing smirk with Absalom, I nestled myself deep into my seat, and prepared for a long conversation about finances.

"Down to business then." Losing my smile, I diverted all of my attention towards Absalom, and the charts he had set up. Let's see just how much this factory was going to cost me.

"In conclusion Moria-sama, the three most viable options are buying the parts from the Underworld faction Germa 66, the Marine core of engineers, or the technologically advanced island of Karakuri."

I rubbed my head in consternation. For the past two hours, Absalom and I have been doing nothing but going over financial reports, accounts payable, and all sorts of company jargon I barely had a passing understanding about. How I wish I had a calculator.

"List one more time the advantages, disadvantages, and pricing we would face when choosing which supplier to buy from."

"Of course Captain. Of the three most viable options, the Germa 66 offers the speediest production and could build a factory in less than a week. At the same time, since the island of Karakuri holds the patent for factory production, the Germa 66 is charging a 'protection fee.' They claim it's to protect themselves in case they need to bribe some government official. The total price amounts to 100,000,000 beri's.

Our second choice is to go through the Marine core of engineers. As a Royal Shichibukai, and official member of the World Government, you can bypass the civilian route, and directly assemble a factory. However, I wouldn't put it past those Marine dogs to deliberately sabotage some of the factory, or move slow on purpose. I estimate it to take 6 to 24 months for them to complete the job. The only bonus is that since you're a member of the government, you have a grand discount. We'd only have to pay for the labor, approximately 10,000,000 beri's.

Finally, famous Marine scientist Vegapunk's homeland, Karakuri Island holds the patent for factory assembly, and is the retailer of choice for 90% of the worlds kingdoms when it comes to factory construction. They hold a solid reputation for building things to last. I estimate their construction time to take between 3 and 5 months. At a price of about 40 to 50 million beri's. The foreman from the other end said that costs are variable depending on transportation costs, hence the potential extra 10 million price hike."

I had long been drumming my fingers on my chairs armrest by the time Absalom finished with his explanation. The financial situation I found myself in wasn't dire quite yet, however, it all hinged on how much money I could extort from a kingdom.

"For now, let's put a moratorium on which option to choose from. One of the vessels I seized is a Marine battleship. I need you to find any zombies in our ranks proficient in carpentry and painting. We need to make that ship as indistinguishable from a Marine battleship as possible."

If I had a way to store the battleship, I'd keep it hidden in some storehouse, or a cove somewhere instead of repainting it. The ship will become a great arsenal in any future battles for sure. However, a tiny part of me wanted to use the Marine uniforms and crest to stage a false flag operation. The trouble was, I had no clue on which target to attack, and no place to store a Marine battleship. Essentially, I'd be able to use it once, then discard it. After all the effort I put into seizing the ship, this was something I was unwilling to do.

"A Marine battleship!" Absalom spluttered in surprise.

"If we don't have the manpower needed for this task, I'll need you to contact the Underworld and have them do the job." Rubbing my forehead once more at the potential loss of money, I swear I'd form a kidney stone at this point from all the pressure I'd been facing. You know your situation is damned when you're not worried about blood thirsty pirates, but debt to the system.

"Right away sir, I'll keep my eyes peeled for any zombies skilled in carpentry and painting. By your leave."

"Dismissed." I waved him off in a slightly depressed mood.

Even in a world of literal super powers, money is still a powerful influencer. Hell, with enough money, you could buy devil fruits. With enough money, you could pay people to do shitty, undesirable jobs. Give them a small bit of freedom, the illusion of choice, and they'll praise you as enlightened. All the while, mocking the people of other nations and societies as being backwards, or barbaric.

"Cheh." This financial and philosophical nonsense is going to make my head explode. Who knew running a crew was so much hard work? On top of that, I'm sitting on my hands waiting for a windfall of cash to appear. Till then, I'm hesitant to take any big actions. Sailing anywhere on an island sized ship takes forever. At the very least, I can train, but most of the training I had in mind was very destructive. Not something I wanted to do on my homebase.

I rested my chin against my fist in utter boredom. Playing around and forming complex shapes with the shadows in the room. A painting imploded, as I manipulated its shadow into the form of a sphere.

"I've got it! Red! Red, get over here!"

"Ah uh, it's me Moria-sama! Red is uhh, helping Absalom-sama with some tasks." Yellow shyly entered the room.

"No matter. Inform Absalom I'm heading to Goa Kingdom on my own. Additionally, pass word to Perona that I want her to set sail tomorrow. She's responsible for recruiting those two. If she complains, tell her I'm proud of her recent attainments, and that I have full confidence in her. But between you and me, I want you to assign a few of the Zombie General's to act as bodyguards."

"Uh, ah, Goa Kingdom, err, recruit those two. Got it!" Yellow answered haltingly.

"…"

An awkward silence developed between us.

"Well get to it then Yellow!"

"Right. Right! Right away Moria-sama, sorry for the delay! I had seen people ignore you when you had more orders for them, and I was only waiting around to see if you had more orders for me. Have a pleasant journey sir!" Yellow bowed, and ran along.

Huh, well how about that. I'm not sold on Yellow's intelligence, but not even Red was that considerate. With that thought in mind, I grabbed a map and a compass, and set off for the relatively nearby Goa Kingdom.

"Alright you dirt munchers, time to learn you some knowledge! This right here is what is known as a trowel bayonet. One of the most important tools in your arsenal. A smart company can set up defensive positions, and ambushes with one of these, leaving the enemy none the wiser. Do you understand that?!"

"Sir! Gunnery Sergeant Omaida, isn't that a shovel? Sir!"

"A wise-ass huh? What's your name son?" Sergeant approached the zombie.

"Sir! Burns, sir!"

"You're goddamn shitting me! Burns? Let me guess, is it because of the burns you have across your body?! How creative! What sick joker, cosmic deity fuck saddled me with such simpletons! The Chief upstairs must be dying of laughter from the idiocy on full display at this training yard. The trowel bayonet doubles as a trench shovel. You'll be digging fox holes, trenches, tunnels and we're even going to dig shallow graves until you. Get. It. Right.

There are no slackers in my company, and boredom is no excuse! A zombie doesn't need air, he doesn't need food, and he doesn't need sleep. For the next week, these holes will be your home! You will eat, sleep, and breath dirt! Do you understand that?!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

"Good! Since Burn's here is such a good team player, he's volunteered himself to dig 30 meters of trench all by himself. With his hands! A round of applause to Burn's for being such a team player!" Sergeant led the company of zombies into a thunderous applause.

They clapped. And they clapped…and clapped.

By the time Sergeant stopped clapping, the sun had already passed its zenith in the sky.

"Why shit on a cracker, what are you doing standing around for!?" Sergeant turned around from his clapping to face the crowd behind him with a look of faux surprise.

"Standing around Burn's for such a long time brings a tear to this old man's eye." With a sniffle, Sergeant wiped away a pussy yellow liquid dripping from his eye.

"You're all such great team players. As a reward, I'll allow you to join in with Burn's labor of love. I want you brothers in arms to dig 30 meters of trench for every zombie in the platoon. Since you numb nuts can't count, there's 50 of you, that's 1,500 meters of trench! Then, you have my blessing to use the trowel bayonet to dig another 20 meters of fox holes, trenches, tunnels, and maybe even a shallow grave. I expect the trench done by the end of the night, good luck boys!" Whistling a merry tune, Sergeant walked off to a bench, and pulled out this month's issue of Army Supplies Weekly.

Kenji stared ahead with a blank look on his face. He'd been clapping for the last two and a half hours without break. He'd trained his focus with Priest, Grandad taught him how to throw a punch, and the rest of the villagers had each pitched in with their own unique talents. But cheering nonstop for two hours…for a guy named Burn's no less?

"Maybe Grandad was right. Maybe I should've stayed home…" Dejected, Kenji kicked a pebble.

"Thanks a lot Burns!"

"Because of you, our training was doubled!"

"Fucking idiot, dorya!"

Venting the past two hours of torturous boredom, a group of zombies had surrounded Burns, and preceded to pummel him into the ground.

Kenji looked up at the noise of Burn's beating, and looked to the side to see if Omaida was going to do anything about it. To his dismay, Omaida continued to whistle, and read his magazine.

"Typical." Gripping his fists, Kenji began to get enraged by the injustice before him.

"Hey!" Kenji gripped one of the muscle-head's arms.

"Piss off!" The zombie tried to shake Kenji loose, but it was to no avail.

"I said hey. What's going on?"

"I said piss off! Guys, tell Private Virgin over here to beat it! Cuz that's all he'll ever be good for. Har har!" The zombie took a pause to laugh at his own joke.

"…" A wind swept silence was all that greeted the zombie.

"Tough crowd! Stupid brat, making me look bad in front of the fellas, dorya!" Throwing a right hook, the zombie aimed squarely at Kenji's face.

Grinning, Kenji let go at just the right rime to have the muscle-head overextend. Throwing out a cross-counter, the muscle-head was sent flying.

"And I said HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA!" Kenji grabbed another muscle-head's fist, and swung him in a 360 circle. After Kenji let go, he flew off into the horizon.

"I said hey! What's going on?" Kenji approached the now cowering last muscle-head who had been beating Burn's.

"I-it was all a big misunderstanding. Wasn't it Burn's?"

Burn's took a look at Kenji, then at the muscle-head, and shook his head in the negative. "And he prays."

A look of dawning realization appeared on the last muscle-head's face. "Oh my Kame do I pray!"

With a kick, Kenji punted the zombie into a row of trees, knocking them over. As he was sent flying, the zombie let out a gasp "Myah!"

"Well, well *cough* well. What have we here? Damage to the Chief's property, and a careless disregard for the integrity of the island. You're walking on thin ice Private Virgin."

"You..Sir, you cannot be serious! They were beating Burn's, I couldn't just stand back and do nothing. Sir."

"From what I saw, you deliberately caused mischief in the unit. Why would the men attack Burn's? He's the strongest link holding everyone together, a real team-player."

"Bullshit!" Kenji rushed to within a hairsbreadth of Sergeant, and stared him right in the eye. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he took long, deep breaths.

"So Private Virgin grew some balls! What a time to be alive, our little Virgin has gone and grown up! I think I'll start calling you Hero, on account of your amazing fuck up!"

"You're the fuck up Omaida!" Kenji's body became encased within a black protective mushroom armor as his fluctuation in emotions activated his power.

"I told you I've got your ass! You think the lass is the only one who knows about your little enclave? I've been digging holes for years boy. You're about to do what Hero's do best, and throw your life away as sacrifice. In the process, damning your family and loved ones to a long grueling life as wage slave's. It'd be a mercy if they earned a quick death. Think boy. Think!"

Conflicted, Kenji didn't know what to do. His resolve at punishing Omaida had drastically wavered at the threat posed to his family.

"What's to stop me from killing you right here, right now? Your men were powerless to stop me."

"Ha! You! Kill me?! You should do stand-up kid, and here I thought just the zombie scraps the Chief sends me were retards. But you! There needs to be some sort of special education to produce them like you! What's it going to be you sword swallowing, pansy ass-fuck? Are you going to condemn your village to death, or are you a team player?"

Just as Kenji was going to come to a decision, cannon balls began to explode against the walls ringing the island.

"To me men! To me you shit licking whore-spawn!" Sergeant gathered a group to repel the invaders.

"Well don't just stand there slack jawed, this is your home too Hero!" Tossing a rifle to Kenji, Omaida jumped into a shallow trench, and covered himself in dirt.

"Are you sure we should be doing this Bellamy, to assault a Shichibukai's base. Isn't that ballsy, even for us? The gate even opened before we could attack them. Like they were expecting us." A silver haired, glasses wearing punk asked.

"Hah ha hah! You worry too much Sarquiss! It's just as Doflamingo-sama said. Gecko Moria is the weakest of the Shichibukai, a stain on their name! And a stain on the Shichibukai's name, is a stain on Doflamingo-sama's name! If I come back with his head, he said I, we could join his crew! All our dreams will come true, everyone will stop talking about that Straw Hat, and turn their focus back on the real number one rookie! Besides, he's just a lowly snitch. And we all know what to do with snitches. RIGHT MEN?!"

"Oora!"

"Death to snitches!"

"Moria be snitchin, by the endo this, he'll be bitchin!"

"Hah ha hah, see Sarquiss, we have momentum on our side! Forward men! Dock at the section of broken wall! The first into that Castle Mast gets 500,000 beri!" Bellamy held his fist aloft, and wore an excited grin.

"If you say so…" Lips puckering up like there was a sour taste in his mouth, Sarquiss muttered to himself.

Disembarking the ship, about two hundred~ pirates surged onto the beach head.

"Ahh!"

"Shit, I broke my arm!"

Cries of shock, and pain permeated the air.

"An enemy attack?" Taking a closer look, Sarquiss spotted the problem. About a dozen men had fallen down a giant trench, and were a tangle of limbs.

"Someone grab the gangplanks from the ship, we'll use those to cross the trench!" Sarquiss gave the command.

"Captain, help us out here!" The trapped pirates cried out for assistance.

"Hmph, I have no place for weaklings in my crew. Either climb out yourselves, or stay down there forever, I don't care!" Forming springs in his legs, Bellamy crossed the distance without any problems.

"Bark! Bark!" Fearsome snarls, and growls became louder and louder towards Bellamy's position. Until eventually, a Cerberus approached, charging at Bellamy, going full tilt.

"Woah, it's a giant mutt!"

"You got this Captain!"

"Spring~PISTON!" Cranking the springs in his legs, Bellamy launched himself at the dog. A minute later, the Cerberus had been pummeled into the ground. Bellamy's fist had gone clean through the digs center, crumpling its chest. With the shadow released, the zombie had one completely inert.

"Now get those gangplanks over here!" Grinning to the crowd of his cheering men, Bellamy bounced in place with growing excitement.

"Maybe this won't be so bad after all." Sarquiss reassured himself.

"Omaida! Omaida you bastard, get out of that hole right now! We're not finished!" Kenji tore into the dirt fruitlessly. No matter how much he dug, he couldn't find the Gunnery Sergeant. Jumping out of the hole he dug, he was shocked to see the platoon of zombies ringing him.

"What do you want, here to fight me in Omaida's stead?" Kenji barred his teeth ready for a fight.

"No Kenji, we need a leader." Burns stood out from the crowd and approached Kenji.

"So go get Perona, or that Lion face." Kenji scrunched up his face.

"The enemy will be here in a minute, maybe two. There's no time." Burn's placed a hand on Kenji's shoulder.

"No, no no no no, no! I will not fight for that big bastard! Besides, why do you want me of all people to lead you guys?" Kenji shook his head violently, and formed a cross with his arms.

"It's because you're the strongest! This is our home, and we heard Sergeant…this is your home too! Didn't Moria-sama promise you your shadow back on a permanent basis if you performed well? You can still live a full life. If not for the big man upstairs, then do it for us, your nakama...If that's not enough, do it for that family of yours!" Burn's made one last plea.

"I..." Seeing all the hopeful looks being thrown his way, Kenji had made his decision.

"I want you to hold this position with everything you've got! Do you worm food want to live forever?!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

"…"

"Kame. What do I say to that. In all the war stories Grandad told me, all the men are supposed to bravely shout, and become fearless in the face of death." Kenji scratched his cheek, lost on what to say next.

"Here they come! What are your orders, sir!" Burn's pointed toward a ragtag unit climbing up the hill. The pirates raised swords and guns, hooting and hollering towards the trench.

"Shoot them till they get within a few meters of the trench. Then on my signal, we charge." Kenji took aim with his rifle, and put his sights square on the chest of a pirate. His arms shook, and his throat became dry. He'd never taken a human life before.

All around Kenji, the zombies unloaded their guns. More than two dozen pirates fell, either wounded or dead. Just like that, the pirates were upon them.

"Green Mushroom Series: Canon!" Summoning his mushroom RPG, Kenji fired multiple rounds into the crowd. The concussive blasts knocked a dozen out cold. One unlucky pirate took a direct hit, and lost an arm.

"That's the signal, charge!" Assuming the black mushroom armored form, Kenji vaulted the trench, and joined the melee.

Fierce fighting took place as the 50 musclebound zombies plowed into the pirates. Each zombie easily fought off 3 men. In some cases, the zombies were stabbed, bludgeoned, and riddled with bullets but they kept fighting. One zombie purposely took a sword to the chest so he could kill his opponent.

"Double spring nightmare!" A double fist attack plowed into a group of zombies, sending six of them bowling. A follow up fist combination crushed a zombie's head.

"Aim for the head, that's their weak point!" Bellamy began to bounce around, crippling zombies left and right. Occasionally, he'd land a lucky shot, and crush another head.

"Easier said than done! I can't even take one on by myself!" Sarquiss ganged up on a zombie with three other men, and barely decapitated a single zombie. They may hold the numerical advantage, but each of these zombies was taller, and stronger than any one man here!

"Hah ha hah! It must be that guy in black who's controlling these zombies. If I take him out, I'll be one step closer to that fake Shichibukai." Bellamy oozed self confidence as he rocketed towards Kenji.

"You, spring guy! Leave this island, and leave my nakama alone! I really don't want to do this, but if you leave now, you might still be spared." Kenji pointed at Bellamy, trying to sincerely warn him off the island. Being a servant under that monster was a fate worse than death in Kenji's opinion. If he didn't have a family to worry about, he'd…

"Don't try to scare me off punk! You're all one big stepping stone on my quest for glory! Doflamingo-sama, wait for me!" Bellamy dashed forward even faster, and struck Kenji, sending him flying.

"Woo, that armor stings. Gotta go fast if I want to break it apart." Bellamy waved his hand side to side in an attempt to dissipate the pain.

"Ugh." Shaking his head, Kenji was trying to make heads or tails of what just happened.

Without any time to rest, Kenji was hit again, and again. Bellamy ruthlessly struck him in the same place, eventually stripping the armor, and striking the soft flesh underneath.

"Kuh" Spitting out a mouthful of blood, a bedraggled Kenji lay in a heap. While he lay there, catching his breath, Bellamy began to go on a rampage. Striking left and right, from above, and below, he bounced across the battlefield, killing and crippling zombies left and right.

"Stop it." Kenji called out.

"What's wrong? You called these overgrown corpses your nakama? How utterly pathetic! Trash like you has no place in the New Era! The Age of Dreams is over!" Grinning, Bellamy began to focus on breaking arms and legs. The zombies began to crawl like a worm, trying to bite the pirates, much to his amusement.

"Stop it." Kenji struggled to his knees. He took ragged breaths, trying to regain his focus.

"Look at him, trying to stand up for these soulless bags of bones. Hah ha hah!" Bellamy stopped fighting, and grabbed his sides as he fell over laughing.

"Stupid, this is the age of pirates, grow up!"

"There's no time to worry about them kid, you've got bigger things on your plate!"

"Ha hah ha ha, look at him, he's ready to cry! Do you want you milk bottle? Waa, waa, I want my mommy, waa!"

Bellamy's crew joined him in laughing and jeering at Kenji.

"I SAID STOP IT! Grandad made me promise never to use this…I'm sorry Grandad, I have to do this! If I can't save you, I at least have to save these guys." After a moment of hesitation, Kenji spawned a mushroom the size of an apple.

"RED MUSHROOM SERIES: BERSERKER!"

"Just the ravings of a sad lunatic. Men, put him out of his misery." Bellamy turned to attack the remaining zombies, when 6 of his men were flung past him.

"What-" Was as far as Bellamy got before his spring arm was grabbed, and he felt a sudden vertigo.

Kenji's body was dyed a deep red, his normal short, skinny body had transformed into a 4 meter tall hulk with two glowing mushroom antennae growing out of his head.

"Here we go!" Grasping Bellamy's springy arm, Kenji swung him in a circle at intense speeds. Once he had perfect momentum, Kenji slammed Bellamy into a group of pirates. Several pirates took pot shots at Kenji, trying to save their captain, but he dodged them with ease. Repeating the process another five times, Kenji effectively used Bellamy's sling like body as a weapon against the pirates.

"Raagh!" Kenji shouted in rage, and pounded his chest like a gorilla.

"Easy now Kenji, it's me, Burn's." Burn's held up his hands placatingly.

"Bur-Burn's?" Kenji saw nothing but a fog of red. For a moment however, he saw that he wasn't holding the spring man anymore, he was holding Burn's by the neck!

With a gasp, Kenji released Burn's, and gripped his head. After a moment, Kenji reverted to his teenage body, and fell to the floor. The accumulated injuries, and stress of the berserk form had taken a major toll on his body.

"Haah. Haah. Haah. You. You defeated. My. My whole crew. I, you're going to pay. With your life." A bloody, and unrecognizable Bellamy dragged himself across the ground towards Kenji, dagger in hand.

"Haah, haah, Burn's! Burn's, anyone?!" Kenji called out for help. Looking around desperately, Kenji spotted a shiny glint out of the corner of his eye.

"Hah ha hah! No. No, help for you. You. You're abandoned. Die!" Bellamy's arm snaked out to stab Kenji.

*shink*

"Why Grandad, I. I never wanted this." Crying, Kenji let the days tension out of his worn out body as he fell on Bellamy's corpse. A broken cutlass plunged deep into Bellamy's chest was all that separated the two. Blood soaked into Kenji's clothes as he gave in to fatigue.

"Three cheers for Private Hero!" An all to familiar voice shouted in the clearing.

"Hero! Hero! Hero!"

"You did it Hero!"

"This one's on you Hero! That guy is sure to make a great special zombie!"

A gang of cut up zombies surrounded Kenji, and hoisted him on their shoulders.

The last thing Kenji saw before he lost consciousness was Omaida's shadowed smiling face.

Flying in what felt like circles, I had spent more than 4 hours traversing the East Blue in search of the Goa Kingdom. I must be hopelessly lost. Ah! A fishing boat, maybe that old man and kid know how to get to the Goa Kingdom!

"Hey old man-"

"Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo! Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo! Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo!"

At my sudden appearance, the old man fell to the deck, and began to point at me in fear.

"Hey kid, know how I can get to the Goa Kingdom from here?" I bent over to get a better look at the tiny little snot.

Picking his nose, the kid shook his head negatively.

"You sure? I have here this…pistol. If you know the way, it's yours." I was going to offer the kid candy as a bribe, but then I realized, why would I even be carrying candy around with me? All I had in my pockets were a pair of pistols, a couple zombie spy rats, some loose bills, a few hundred shadows, and some celery to snack on.

"Mn, deal! Grampa and I just set out, it's like, 10 minutes with the wind to your back in that direction" The kid pointed in a direction, and took my gun off my hands.

"Thanks kid." I thought about getting angry at the kid. He just fleeced me of a gun! But the elation at finally finding my objective overrode any irritation I had. I rubbed my hands in anticipation of all the money I was about to make. I was no Nami, I didn't have a gold fetish, but no one enjoyed being broke. After this, I'll never have to worry about paying my tithe ever again. Goa Kingdom, here I come!

"Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo! Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo! Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo! GECKO MORIA!"

AN: This chapter is pretty Kenji heavy; he won't get the limelight any more than Perona or Hogback now that I've fully established him. More Moria to come. RIP Dragon Ball Z Abridged.

Chapter 578 - ggh

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