The aliens Neris, Tidra, Halu, and Rijal were subdued throughout their tour of the accommodations offered by Odin, but they did express their gratitude. Neris, who seemed to be the spokesman of the group, told Sif and Fandral that he was sure they would be very comfortable.
Sif wished there was more Asgard could do for such victims of the Mad Titan than to avenge the fallen and ensure that no one else would suffer at his hand as they had. Since Thor had raised his concerns about Thanos, she'd done some reading about Asgard's previous war against him, trying to understand why the Allfather had settled for a temporary victory instead of pushing on and destroying him.
According to the war archives, Thanos had first approached Asgard with the goal of partnering with them for their military strength. When Odin learned what Thanos meant to use them for, he threw him out. Furious at Odin's slight, Thanos soon returned with his armies. They proved insufficient. When Thanos realized he would not prevail, he fled, using a large portion of the remaining zealots who fought for him as decoys to ensure his personal escape. Sif had been disgusted by Thanos's cowardice and disregard for the lives of those loyal to him. In spite of it, his escape might have failed, but the losses Asgard had sustained made it risky to mount a full pursuit without leaving the realm vulnerable to other enemies in an opportunistic mood.
The explanation didn't sit very well with Sif. Perhaps that had been a good reason not to pursue the Titan at the time, but why had they allowed him two millennia to rebuild and regroup? Maybe the Allfather had believed he'd learned his lesson or that his power had been irrevocably broken, but it had been over a century since he had begun his culling on individual planets, and his momentum only appeared to be growing. True, none of these planets was within Yggdrasil, but that didn't seem a good enough reason for inaction. Thor was right, both about Asgard's obligation to stand against Thanos and the need to bring as many allies along as they could muster.
"Where are you going?" said Fandral.
Sif looked around at him. They'd left the aliens' quarters a moment ago, and she had just put a foot on the first step leading to the upper levels on the great staircase. "To the healing hall, of course," she said. "Don't you want to check on Loki one more time before leaving Gladsheim for the evening?"
"Eir already said he was out of danger," said Fandral, who was standing back where the steps spiraled down from the fifth floor landing.
"She only said he may be out of danger," Sif corrected him.
"Healers always talk like that," he countered with a wave of a hand. "She was just being cautious. If he were really still in danger, she'd have said so." And he began walking down the stairs before Sif could argue. She frowned after him but continued on up.
She wasn't quite to the door of the healing hall when Thor came striding out. He saw her and smiled, which made her stomach do a flip. He'd gotten cleaned up since coming to the mortals' laboratory. She wished she'd had time to do the same.
"How is he?" she said.
"Nearly recovered," said Thor.
"That's wonderful." Now that she was sure of Loki's condition, she suddenly felt awkward about the prospect of actually seeing him.
Oblivious to her dilemma, Thor moved closer to her and asked, expression serious, "How many people do you think were in that square where you appeared?"
"A few dozen, at least," she said.
"Then it'll be all over Asgard by nightfall." Thor blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "What did they do when they saw Loki?"
"They were confused and alarmed." She winced. "One girl asked me if the Frost Giant was my prisoner. She didn't realize she was speaking of her prince. I set her straight."
Thor's expression was troubled and he seemed to be looking at something far away.
"You said your father kept things from you and Loki," said Sif. "This is what you meant, isn't it? Neither of you knew he wasn't Aesir."
Thor shook his head.
She watched him closely. She saw the way his brows furrowed and his lips tightened. It was rare to see such a brooding look on Thor's face. And he'd been so protective of Loki ever since he came back in time. He tended to get that way to some degree whenever Loki got hurt, but never this much. An awful suspicion struck her. "The first time you lived through this, it didn't end well for him," she said.
Thor closed his eyes. "He learned the truth in the worst way possible."
"What happened?" she said. She almost didn't ask it; she could see that it was a painful memory for Thor, but perhaps speaking of it would help, like drawing poison out of a wound.
"I started a war with Jotunheim," said Thor. He started to walk.
Sif was quick to follow. "Because of their attempt to steal the Casket?" she said.
"Because of my arrogance and temper," Thor corrected her. His tone was sharp enough to be rude, but it was directed inward. "I've never seen Father more furious or disappointed. He turned me mortal and banished me to Midgard so I would learn humility." He looked at Sif. "Do you want to know one of the last things Loki heard me say before Father hurled me into the Bifrost?"
"What?"
"I said that the Jotnar must learn to fear me," he spat. Sif had never seen Thor so ashamed. "What must he have made of that, to hear it the same day he discovered the truth about himself?"
"But you didn't mean it that way!" she protested.
"Of course I didn't, but how was Loki to know that? All my life, I spoke of a day when I would meet the Frost Giants in battle like Father. I dreamed of inspiring epic songs about Thor Giant-Slayer. I never considered them anything but monsters. How could Loki trust that I wouldn't treat him with the same contempt and violence I did the other Jotnar if I learned he was one of them? What had I done in the decades—the centuries, perhaps—leading up to that day to assure him that our bond would mean more to me than his origins? I unwittingly did everything I could to make my little brother afraid of me."
"Thor," said Sif, reaching for his arm. "No one who grew up alongside the two of you could doubt that you love your brother." While he and Loki squabbled and fought like any pair of siblings so close in age, Thor had ever been the first to defend Loki against criticism. He always had Loki along on adventures when he could, and when he couldn't, it was like the sun went behind a cloud and it probably would've been better if Thor hadn't gone either. When Loki caused trouble, Thor would forgive him easily. In Sif's pettier moments, she'd resented Loki for the place he held in Thor's heart. He hadn't seemed to appreciate it enough.
"They may not doubt that I love him," said Thor, "but that I value him? The older we got, the less I listened to his advice, the more I ignored his contributions to our adventures, and the more I dismissed the rare talents and skills he has so painstakingly honed as being inferior and less honorable than combat based on physical strength. He's the best seidmadr on Asgard and the cleverest person I know, and I acted like that was something to be embarrassed about!"
Sif swallowed. Thor's words could have been hers. All the times she'd scoffed about Loki relying on magic in combat to make up for what he lacked as a warrior, even though he was at least as good as Fandral when he didn't use any seidr. All the times she'd sided with Thor when Loki advised a more careful approach to some problem, even though what he warned against nearly always came true. When Loki was proved to have been right and tried to point it out, she'd thought him insufferable.
She felt very uncomfortable. She knew too well what it was to be pushed to the side and treated like nothing she had to contribute was worth anything to the people around her—like who she was was wrong. It was hard enough to be a female warrior on Asgard in the generation after the fall of the Valkyrior. Even her parents had fought her on that at every turn, and she'd endured quite a lot of teasing from other girls her age. Thor had been the first one to offer her any sincere encouragement, and she had loved him for it.
Suddenly, Loki's experience didn't seem so different from her own, except that, as a prince, the expectations and pressure he faced would be far more intense. No wonder he had seemed to grow increasingly sour and cynical over the centuries. No wonder he was constantly playing humiliating and sometimes dangerous tricks on people. What had seemed to her a cruel sense of humor now looked a lot more like bursts of frustration when it became too much to bear. Sif was absolutely certain that Thor had never meant any harm by the way he treated Loki, but harm had clearly been done.
They came to a halt at a balcony that offered a stunning view of the queen's garden. "What happened then?" she said. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer, but she did know she wanted them to move on from this point, if only so that she could avoid thinking about what it all meant for a little while longer.
"While I was on Midgard, Father fell into the Odinsleep. Mother was afraid he would never wake from it, so she stayed close by his side. She made her support for Loki plain by giving him the regency, but she underestimated the turmoil he was in, as well as how it might appear for Loki to sit on Hlidskjalf and wield Gungnir a day after my coronation fell apart. He faced mistrust and insubordination from every quarter over a throne he didn't even want."
"A throne he didn't want?" she repeated, bewildered. "What do you mean?"
"Loki understands too well what a burden it is to want it. It's something I had to learn the hard way."
Sif swallowed. Where did this end? She knew exactly what she would have thought of Loki suddenly on the throne so soon after they all expected to see Thor on it, even though it sounded like it had mostly been a horrible coincidence.
"By the time I was worthy to come home," Thor went on, "he had gotten it into his head that the only way to prove himself a true son of Odin was to wipe the Frost Giants out. I didn't understand any of what was happening until later. I had to shatter the Bifrost to stop him. After that, the only Jotun life within his reach was his own."
A chill ran through Sif. "He tried to…" She couldn't even make herself say the words. She never could have imagined this. Any protests she might have offered up to this interpretation of events withered away in her throat, leaving only a bitter taste behind.
"For a year, we thought he succeeded," said Thor. He forced a smile, but the light of the late afternoon sun glimmered in the unshed tears in his eyes and his voice had grown much thicker. "But it's alright, you see? I don't have to wonder anymore if I could have made a difference if I'd only been on Asgard when he learned the truth, because this time I was, and look how it has turned out!" He gestured towards the healing hall they'd left behind. "Loki knows he belongs in our family and that we love him no less for how he came to be in it. I've done my best to be deserving of his trust and to show him that I recognize his worth."
Sif reached for Thor's hand and squeezed it. "You are a good brother, Thor," she said. "Loki is lucky." She was relieved when the words didn't feel empty. She meant them.
"I hope you are right," said Thor.
Her brow furrowed. "What was my part in—in what happened before?" she asked. She was afraid of what Thor might say, but she would not let fear stop her. "You needn't spare my feelings by avoiding the details. I want to know."
Thor looked at her, then down at their hands. "Does it matter?" he said, squeezing her fingers. The forced smile made a return. "It's only in my past, not your future."
"Tell me," she said. "This isn't just a second chance for you, it's a second chance for all of us."
Thor sighed. "You didn't find out Loki was Jotun until later, but you thought he had schemed to put himself on the throne. You defied his orders as the rightful king and tried to get me back to Asgard, despite my having more than earned my banishment. It was the same with the Warriors Three and even Heimdall."
"Then," she said, "he had no one left."
Thor shook his head.
It should have been comforting to know that this series of events had been thwarted, that she would not have to live through a scenario where her devotion to one prince came at the expense of the other and she played some role in building up his despair and isolation to a level he could no longer endure.
It wasn't.
"I never realized," she said.
"Neither did I, until it was too late," said Thor. He leaned his forearms against the balustrade. "I hope that I'm a wiser man than I was, but I make mistakes like anyone else, and my position means the consequences fall on more people. I was too thoughtless to see that before, but Loki never was. He has always been quickest to call me out on my foolishness. Perhaps his approach left something to be desired at times, but I needed that. I still do. I need the people around me to challenge me and not make excuses for me."
The ache of Sif's unrequited love seemed to bore even deeper into her heart as she listened to him. As long as she could remember, Thor Odinson had been the standard against which she judged all other men, against which they all fell short—even when he was still a boy without a single whisker on his chin. He was handsome enough that the mere sight of him could steal her breath away if she wasn't ready for it, but more importantly, he was strong, brave, and he had the remarkable ability to lift the spirits of all around him just by being in the same room.
When he first announced to them that he was the Thor of a terrible future, she'd been apprehensive about the changes time had wrought upon him. If she was honest with herself, she had not missed the brashness or arrogance even for a moment, but he seemed so much more serious—somber, even, at times, and she'd taken it as an ill omen.
The contrast between this Thor and the one she was used to had never been greater than it was right now, but suddenly she was no longer worried. On the contrary, she wanted to throw her arms around him and kiss him soundly on the mouth. It was an urge she struggled against on at least a weekly basis. She wasn't quite sure how she managed to defeat it this time, but she did. She hoisted herself up to sit on the balustrade so that she was facing him. "This may be the last thing you want to hear after a speech like that, but...you sound like a king."