AN: Rather than deciding a servant summoning by plot I decided to roll a dice on a website with the max number denoting Servant ID's in Fate/Grand Order. I rolled 1d112 = 62… Tamamo, my first reaction was: "… Well…Damn… What do I do now? Oh well, fluffy tail!". When I rolled again for Shirou I got 11… so that's Emiya - "LOL, time to make sure he doesn't kill Shirou." Well then, it's time for the yakitori arc. Plus, with Tamamo I have to study up my Yokai stuff.
Chapter 24: This Gacha is rigged!
"Issei! I can't believe you didn't invite your own parents to your wedding!" I inwardly twitched as I let my not actually angry father yell.
I note my mother making fake crying sounds while blowing into some tissues.
"To think our son would marry behind our backs *Sniff*, where did we go wrong!?"
"Uh, I can tell you aren't actually angry so…" I responded in a calm and tsukkomi-like manner.
"Of course we aren't angry!" My father denies vehemently.
"We used to think that you would never get a girlfriend. How could we be anything less than happy?" My mother mocks my old self with a straight face as if she was talking about the weather while simultaneously expressing pride.
What a wondrous world I live in…
Such was the response when I brought my original self and my newly wedded wife to inform my parents of the news.
Eh? Newly wedded? Technically it has been a few months already for us. Does that count as newly wedded? I still feel extremely happy at the thought. Like 'I can't believe this is actually real' kind of happy. So that means I'm still in honeymoon mode right?
I still feel stupidly happy to have such a cute wife hugging on to my arm right now. Oh no! My parents are demanding that we redo the wedding here.
Even though I went and got pictures and videos through reviewing the past using the [Kaleidoscope], I mocked pouted inside my head.
Well, at least I get to say my wedding vows all over again! I can kiss the bride again, yay!
Not that I don't do that every day already.
Eh? Our previous wedding was a traditional Japanese one. My parents say they will be planning the wedding this time around. I made sure to give them enough cash to handle that.
When Shirou, Caren, Kushina, Tuka, Okita and myself arrived back it was during school hours. I 'pulled' my chakra in from the clones which I sent out without dispelling them. Which was my way of alerting the clones that I wanted to reintegrate with them, it took a handful of minutes until all but one clone dispelled himself.
"I have to go check the basement, there's a clone taking way too long to dispel himself." I say with a worried expression.
Okita walked right behind me as I carefully entered one of the basement floor.
Only to find it flooded with… Black Keys!
"No… No more Black keys… please Kirei, stop spooking me…" I see a tired and haunted looking clone of myself there, buried under black keys. Pushing the summoning button, where another black key comes out of the circle of light generated.
Only the summoning area is clear of the offending items.
The Issei clone then begged me to [Obliviate] the last 9 days he spent in the basement with his shitty luck getting him black key after black key. It was too painful for him as he spent 0.1 GIL over 9 days only to get more black keys. He thought that Kotomine Kirei's ghost had followed him in revenge. It was too pitiful.
Okita was horrified and looked away as I did the deed.
I used the [Gate of the Gamer] and banished all of the keys into a portal.
"Gacha's truly are the bane of the unlucky." I say solemnly as even the lack of memories had not diminished the shivers I had received from the feedback of the clone.
My wife had to hug me for a few minutes until the shaking had stopped. At the start, the hug had felt as if I was being hugged by thousands of black keys.
"I must… defeat the Gacha. It is the only way to overcome this… feeling." I say resolutely.
"And I, Okita, will be supporting you." She looked equally as serious as I did.
I opened the my Magic Circuits, started to circulate my chakra, brought out the [Boosted Gear] and then, I pushed the button.
Prana was used up first, my MP was being converted to more prana while my chakra converted itself to HP and MP as my [Boosted Gear] ate up my HP as well. Whatever was being summoned was massive in power and was being… pushed, into a tiny container.
I could feel the machine copying the information of the Heroic Spirit as the raw soul was being overwritten with the data. Then inspiration struck! Why settle for a sub-par container when I can make a better one! I then hijacked part of the process with Banbutsu Sozo, pushing my chakra to allow the information to be copied onto it instead.
The process was more complexed than that, but I was running things on a more instinctive level through my [Intuitive Aptitude], [Intuitive Replication] and [Unforbidden Concepts].
Well, it worked. A little too well.
"I have answered your call immediately! It's your dependable foxy shrine maiden! Caster-ko! Desu! " The three-tailed pink haired fox girl with an impossible low neckline and cleavage showing through that overly bulky kimono happily poses as she introduces herself.
"Thank you so much for answering my call! I wouldn't know what to do if I summoned another black key!" I yell and bow in gratitude immediately.
"Mufufu! I accept your thanks! It's only right that a godde- I mean, a good servant such as me would answer their master's call!" She said proudly, although, slightly giddy at my thanks.
Ah yes, it's Tamamo-no-Mae, I see…
… She has three tails. Oh, I see. I passed a phone to Okita after my stunt.
"Call Zelretch, he's on speed dial." I quickly said.
"Just saying, it's extremely obvious who you are so there's no real need to hide your identity." I say, resulting in my newest servant ending up slack-jawed.
"Impossible! How could Tamamo be found out so quickly!"
"Uh… sufficient research? You have fox tails? You almost called yourself a Goddess, plus you have Japanese clothing? If it makes you feel better, I essentially know almost everything about a person just by looking at them."
"Ukyu!? Tamamo is just going to pout now...!"
"Yo! Whats-up!" Zelretch casually says as he pops in wearing priests robes for whatever reasons.
"Three-tails, explain." I asked bluntly.
"Eh, you gamed the system. Your Creation of All Things simply gave her a real body that's worthy of her divine status. Although she didn't realise it quickly enough and only put in around three of her nine aspects worth of power." Zelretch answered.
"Eh… it's Tamamo's fault… Uwah! Master is unsatisfied! Tamamo messed up and now master is angry at his wife!" Tamamo continued to mope.
"Ha? Care to repeat that fox? Perhaps you have forgotten to put in your brain because the only wife her is me!" Okita responds to Tamamo coldly with killing intent.
"WHAT! Lies! As a Goddess I could easily tell that my summoner was available!"
"That's because he's a polygamist!"
I tuned out the argument as I asked Zelretch why the machine summoned so many black keys.
He smiled and said…
"Surely luck cannot exist without the lack of luck. Why, the summoning of a heroic spirit should be considered a miracle, so therefore it's only fair that you face sufficient misfortune to make up for it. Yorokobe Shounen, at long last your wish has been granted!"
"Just for that? You put in millions of black keys just for that?!"
"Of course not! I'm only making sure you get equal treatment to the millions of players out there rolling Shinji's and Black keys with their much lesser wealth."
I put on an expression of horror as I imagined the despair of millions out there that has suffered at the hands of the gacha.
While I ignored the insults and the on-going cat fight in the background…
"So everyone will have terrible rates?"
"Yes. The more money you have the worst the rates will be…"
I resisted the urge to strangle the vampire right there and then… That fucking smug look on his face, oh you won't be so smug when I –
"Master! I would like to know your intentions for summoning me!" Tamamo asked seriously.
Ah, I remember now. She would only serve good people or those with good intentions.
I have her the usual speech about creating a utopia because I have a responsibility yadda yadda… used the [Kaleidoscope] and showed her my handiwork through a tour of the Elemental Nations where she proceeded to interview random civilians (who were rightfully terrified when they saw her fox tails) to confirm my work.
"Master! I am so sorry for every thinking you were a unfaithful and nasty mongrel! Tamamo won't every use her Polygamist Castration Fist on you… unless you tried to have sex with a random hussy off the streets but… anyways, since you're clearly a ruler and polygamy was typical for rulers from the time period where I'm from. Tamamo promises to be a good wife! "
… I swore she literally spoke some pink heart shaped construct into existence. Never mind, better respond to her. Eh? Why is she hugging my hand? Ah, boobs, no, must resist!
"Right, there's no need to be sorry since I'm not angry but… uh, shouldn't we get to know each other better before you commit to this?" As much as I would like to express my desire for the big breasted fox girl (damn it, it's painful to resist the oppai!), it still wouldn't be proper to take advantage of her personality like that.
"But I can't wait over two years!" Clearly Okita mentioned it took her at least that long to get me to take action.
"Uh, it doesn't necessarily have to be that long, I'm over that phase, I think. I am, was, after all, the designated dense harem protagonist. I mean, it's literally my origin story." As I said that I took out over a dozen volumes of the Highschool DXD light novels and plopped them on the ground.
Tamamo promptly glosses through and started screaming obscenity and insults at the 'sluts', 'whores' and 'hussies' depicted in the pictures. I know that she's quick to jealousy so I simply let her vent it all out, after all, I think she will…might… possibly, be more accepting later on.
I added her to the party and quickly gave her the rundown of my skills.
"Wait a minute! Master should have told me you could duplicate yourself earlier! There wouldn't be much of a problem if you did."
No, no, that's a complete lie! She's just comforting herself that she will get all the alone time she wants despite the fact that she might not be number one in my list of favourites.
Although it's increasingly difficult not to shove her up the list when she has boobs like that. Then again she's actually a little bit of a yandere, so…
After heading back (Zelretch left by himself) I proceeded to use Banbutsu Sozo to line my home with Proto-Adamantium. I made Tamamo a Vibranium staff as vibranium can amplify mystic energies, although it is rather unstable that way. If it's Tamamo I'm sure she can manage it.
When I told her the above word by word she went crazy happy over the 'gift' I gave her. I didn't bother to correct her.
I made nine clones and sent three back to the elemental nations. Another three would continue whatever work I have to do back in my home world. I had another two clones start working on magic and magecraft in a different dimension under the most time compressed regimen I could come up with. The last one went somewhere to recruit or build up influence somewhere.
Sigh, rest is such an elusive concept. I think to myself after having dinner with the whole group that has gathered in my mansion for a 'welcome back' and 'congratulations on your marriage' party.
"Darling?"
"Yes, dear?" I respond to Okita.
"I just made myself a quest that would give you a [Happy and Content] buff."
"Really? What do you have to do?" I asked curiously, while feeling extremely touched.
"Take off your pants."
"I like where this going."
There was good news and bad news.
Bad news, the conversation was heard by everyone who lived in the mansion.
As expected, the elf and the ex-nun quickly blushed. Shirou and Caren considered it a normal occurrence so they simply scurried away. Dohnaseek gave me a thumbs up before running for cower at some killing intent exerted by the red haired kunoichi and the fox Goddess. I think Mittelt went somewhere to spy on what's going to happen.
More bad news involved a crimson-haired devil teleporting into my home's designated teleporting area and barging into the bedroom where me and two clones of mine were just about to help Okita complete her optional quest.
Some mixed news came in when Shirou said he splurged his allowance on the summoning machine and got EMIYA. Unfortunately he decided to barge in right after Rias had done so.
The good news was that my wife didn't really care about interruptions so I proceeded to ignore them and continued.
Rias occupied herself by getting EMIYA to autograph various things.
In the meantime… (2 months in Earthland, over 12 hours in home world)
One of the clones had created a guild in Earthland, as in Fairy Tail Earthland.
He should probably apologise to Nagato, Yahiko and Konan for ripping off their organisation.
He couldn't think of an especially cool name and since his goal was world peace he went ahead and called it Akatsuki. All members get customarily black robes with red clouds. Along with bamboo hats that hide their upper faces but are see through from the wearer's and fellow member's point of view. All members had rings which when activated could allow me to track and see through it, allowing me to use [Observe] from wherever I was and informed my members about their enemies abilities. Just to fit the theme even more he made sure that his guild members went out in pairs.
Needless to say, his magic guild was highly successful through the sheer amount of resources, tactics, information and training he gave them.
Being able to create food, repair buldings and generally able to do anything endeared the guild to the town they settled in.
Now, if only all his members weren't wannabe badasses or try hard chuuni's. Yeah, he could really do without having members that tried too hard to be cool or were too eager to join because they thought the robes were cool.
Screening them with [Observe] could only cut down recruitment of those types so much considering that so many of them were good people that needed the chance.
Sigh, troublesome.
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