"speech"
'Thoughts'
---
'This is hell no doubt about it. It's sooooo dumb. First, I met the rest of the "Golden trio". The downside of being an adult consciousness in a kid body is that my cohorts are well, childish and annoying. Thank Merlin, for the headache excuse. Wasn't much of a lie since my head feels like the hangover after first night back from deployment. My headaches got worse but interestingly enough there was a reason for that, turns out pipsqueaks body couldn't handle my mind and Dork Lord's soul fragment. Hahaha, that asshole thought he could possess the kids body now that he was weakened. That was funny and somewhat anticlimactic.'
---FLASHBACK---
"The hell is going on? I was just in bed cuz that headache now I'm in a white room? This is so cliche for the afterlife." Harry had awoken in an empty white room and started to walk around. It seemed endless until he saw shadows slither from one corner and amass until they formed a dark cloaked figure. The only discernible feature being glowing red eyes.
"You have got to be the most cliched douche lord ever," he taunted.
"You dare, child?! I know not what a douche lord is but I AM THE DARK LORD VOLDEMORT! I will devour every last piece of your soul and possess your body and take over the world!" the cloaked Dark Lord exclaimed.
'What a moron.' "So before we start our final battle oh Dark Lord, where are we? I mean if I'm gonna die anyway grant me this small request?" he asked. 'Let's see if he starts to monologue. I hope he does, then I can check it off my bucket list.'
"You pathetic child, I will grant your last request. We are in your mind." 'This guy is a fucking moron. Who just gives an enemy the advantage?' "I will thoroughly crush you, in the end you will beg for death and I will not grant it until I grow tired of your screams! Enough talk meet your end, Harry Potter! CRUCIO!" At some point in the monologue Voldemort had drawn a wand and cast the curse.
Voldemort watched the spell streak towards the raven haired child eagerly awaiting his cries of anguish. They never came, instead he watched in horror as the curse had frozen a few feet in front of the smirking child.
"IMPOSSIBLE!!" he screeched. He cast four more curses in quick succession. "You will not be able to stop this!"
The Dark Lord was wrong again as he watched all the curses freezing in place in front of the now sneering child. Harry then waved his hand and all the curses were flung back to the caster which he quickly shielded.
'Bahahaha! I knew being a nerd would pay off one day! The Matrix for the win! I'm The One, bitches! Seriously, he said it's my mind so it would only make sense that I have more control over the environment then he ever would. I mean if it's based on imagination well he is fucked because you need imagination to get through a 6 hour PowerPoint. If it's based on will, well you don't become a soldier if you have a weak will. Now time drop this fool.'
"There is no spoon, motherfucker. My turn," Harry replied.
Suddenly, a strange contraption appeared in front of the boy. Voldemort had never seen anything like it but he knew that it couldn't be good so he started to cast again only to find that he couldn't cast any curses.
"What have you done? Why can't I use my magic? What is that contraption? You will pay for this, Harry Potter!" he shrieked.
"To answer your questions in order: magic 'I love trolling this fool' and this is one of the sexiest pieces of muggle weaponry. Let me introduce you, meet Ma Deuce." He then pressed down on the trigger and tore The Dark Lord apart. In the end there were only small shreds of shadow. The shadow melted into a black liquid that then started to gather itself but before he could reform. 'Soooo, Terminator 2, huh. Well I know how get rid of a T-1000 motherfucker.' Harry threw a white phosphorus flare on to the pool which had formed. And conjured up a welding helmet. He sat there watching the puddle burn and boil until he heard an agonized scream and watched as the dark lord fade away. The fire died out and all that was left was a small pendant. Harry reached down to pick up the shinning owl pendant. It then melted into his hand and he realized it was the real Harry Potter's complete memories. 'This seems so cliche, but whatevs.'
"That poor kid really had some shitty luck. He'd been walking around with a TBI from his relatives kicking his ass regularly. No wonder the douche lord's soul killed his off. He must have gone into shock after Quirrel and his mind couldn't handle it. The kid didn't stand a chance. Don't worry kid, I'll get them all back. Hope you find peace with your family. See you on the other side, kid."
Just as he finished paying homage to the child which had been eaten up and spat out by fate. Everything faded to black.
---FLASHBACK END---
"Harry, you alright mate? Still got the headaches?" Asked a ginger boy through a mouthful of chocolate frogs and cauldron cakes.
"Yes, Harry are you alright? You haven't been quite right after your stay in the infirmary." asked the concerned bushy haired girl from behind her book.
I'm just tired and spaced out. I'm actually looking forward to seeing my relatives" he replied behind a smirk. 'Those assholes are in for a rude awakening. I can't wait. I'm so glad for owl order. '
"So what is everyone's plans for the summer? He asked the compartment. When in doubt deflect, deflect, deflect.
"I'm going to work in my greenhouse" Neville replied.
"Degnoming the garden probably, me mum always makes us do that. Play some quidditch maybe, not much else. We'll see if you can come for a visit, mate." Ron replied again with a mouthful of sweets while looking at a quidditch magazine.
"I will start my summer homework. you boys should as well and go on holidays with my family later in the summer. What about you, Harry?" Hermione asked.
"I'm going to do my summer school work so I can get it out of the way and then relax. Maybe do some reading and definitely get some music to listen to. I'll owl you all to see if I can come spend time with you during the holidays" He said behind a happy smile. '1992, I'm gonna have to get Metallica, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Beasties Boys, Dr Dre and whatever else I can find. Hopefully the whole electronics and magic thing isn't true or I'm gonna be very upset.'
Some time later, Harry had found himself being yelled at on the car ride home. He was ignoring the purple faced man in the driver's seat planning the perfect revenge. 'Just you wait fucker you will regret ever treating a kid like an animal. I'm so glad I bought those notes from that 7th year ravenclaw Not to mention paying said seventh year to cast that muggle notice me not charm on that book bag I bought from Dean Thomas. Nothing like getting detailed notes of all seven years of magical education from a valedictorian muggleborn low on funds, 50 galleons well spent. Hedwig should meet me tonight then my plans can start in full."
They were now in the house and his relatives were yelling at him.
"You will not do any of your freakishness in my house do you hear me, boy! We know you can't use that little stick to do any of that freakishness. Your headmaster told us so in his letter." Uncle Vernon bellowed.
"yes, sir" he replied
"Now go to your cupboard! I don't want to see your freakish face!" Vernon yelled.
"yes, sir" He replied before walking into the cupboard. 'Dude, you don't even rate compared to some of the drill sergeants I had in boot.'
Harry laid down got some sleep because he knew he was going to have a long night. I hope my Gringotts banker got that letter or I'm screwed.
Later that day he woke up from his nap and pulled out that lockpicks he got that seventh year muggleborn to transfigure so he could practice his lock picking, he couldn't just get det cord and blow the damn door down. He is an 11 year old after all. He was glad that the tv was on so loud so he could practice in secret. He started to practice. He practiced for a few hours by the time he knew the Dursleys were truly asleep he was able to sneak out bug out bag in hand, his wand was in his bug out bag but he recalled the older muggleborns saying that the wands had government traces on them.
Hence he had to ninja his ass out of the hole the muggle way. Like he would be that great at magic anyway he knew just enough to get his ass kicked. He walked out without making a sound snuck out and walked out to the tree across the street where he would meet Hedwig. As he arrived Hedwig landed on his shoulder.
"Hey girl, I'm sorry you had to wait so long, here's an owl treat. Ok girl, go have fun and I'll meet you here later." He fed the owl and read the note he removed from her leg. Hell yeah! He said yes and to meet my escort a few blocks away so we can portkey directly into the bank. He then had the owl fly off while he walked over to the park and met his contact.
"Mr. Potter? My name is cursebreaker Bailey. If you will come this way we can portkey. The trip will be far out" the strange man sitting on the park bench stated with an amused twinkle in his eye.
"Thanks for using the passphrase, cursebreaker. I know it seems silly but just because they call you paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get ya. Call me Harry" He stated behind a smirk.
"Call me Chad, and I understand completely. This way, please touch the bucket we will take off immediately, your personal banker is waiting." Chad stated as he pulled out a dented bucket from under the bench.
Harry touched the bucket and heard Chad mutter something before the world started spinning only to come to an abrupt halt in a marble antechamber. 'Don't hurl. Don't hurl.'
"Through that door Harry, the goblin guard will lead you the rest of the way. It was good meeting you." Chad said as he waved goodbye and walked out a different door.
Harry walked through the designated door met the goblin escort and walked down the long hall to his bankers office.
'These guys are supposed to be warriors. So I'll just behave like a soldier and see how he reacts.'
He walked into to the office and saw the old goblin. He walked in front of the desk with all the military bearing he had acquired in his years of service and stood at parade rest in from of his seat.
The old goblin quirked an eyebrow at the sight of the 11 year old child walk in to the office like a muggle soldier. 'Interesting. He looks to be a child but that posture and those eyes are of a veteran warrior. How does a child exude that warriors aura? Interesting indeed.'
"Mr. Potter, My name is Daggertooth the Potter account manager. Please take a seat. How is it that Gringotts can help you today?" the old goblin asked.
"Well sir, I have a few things. Firstly, I would like a summary of my assets since I have never received a bank statement. I have been raised as muggle so I ask that you forgive my ignorance of the proper protocol and procedures of wizarding banks but muggle banks give statements of their clients accounts and investments and I would like mine. I would also like to know who has access to my accounts" Harry explained.
"We did not know you were being raised by muggles. You have not received any statements? We send them via owl quarterly. You should have received them as soon as you turned 11. We will research the reason as to why you have not received the statements immediately." He wrote on a small piece of parchment and slid it into box.
Another goblin came in a few minutes later and walked over to the account manager and whispered in gobbledygook. The account manager looked very upset and started to yell orders to the goblin guard at the door. He put a fist over his heart and bowed his head and quickly did an about face and walked out quickly.
"It seems the goblin nation owes you an apology, Mr. Potter. It seems the junior account manager has been embezzling from your account at the behest of an outside party and has brought shame to his clan and Gringotts. He will pay from his own vaults and with his head. We will of course find out who this outside party is and recoup your funds. 'Maybe muggle world banking would be better if that was the consequence for embezzlement.'
You will start to receive your statements from now on. As for who has access to your vaults it seems Mr. Albus Dumbledore has access to your trust vault. The other vaults may be accessed only by the head of the Potter clan." Daggertooth explained to the young man.
"Very well, as long as my funds are recouped free of charge. As for the twinkle eyed bastard, I ask for your expertise. Could I somehow move my funds from my trust vault into a new vault. That way he will not know that I know and keep him off balance?" 'Called it! That twinkle eyed bastard is a con man. Let's find out what his game is. I hope it's not the cliched you kill dork lord, I kill you so I stay relevant, chestnut.'
Daggertooth gave a predatory grin and said "It can be arranged. It is an interesting strategy. Very goblin like if I say so myself."
"Thank you Daggertooth. I am humbled by your compliment. I would like to ask if from now on when the vault is refilled, that 98% of my funds are put into a new vault under a different name. I haven't decided the name yet. I want to hold off on any sort of punishment or restrictions until the opportune time, then hit him with all I've got." 'Why is this old goblin looking at me all weird?'
The old goblin stared at the child in shock. No wizard in recent times had ever shown such sincere respect to the Goblin nation not to mention taking being called goblin like as a compliment. The wizards were either disdainful or showed false respect to gain advantage but never sincerity. It started as a chuckle then a laugh then a full belly laugh. Harry stared at him wondering what the goblin found amusing.
"I must apologize, Mr. Potter. I am not laughing you per se but because you are such an interesting young man. We will do as you wish. When you decide, Gringotts will fine Mr. Dumbledore and seek to recoup funds plus interest and penalties most severe. Now, what is next on your agenda?"
"Well I would like to do an inheritance test to see if I have any rights to any other vaults as well. 'Thank you, fanfiction. It will be cool if I have more money to help with my goals, if not it will still be cool to see the actual test.'
Then once I've verified all my assets I would like to have you invest some of my funds in the muggle world in the companies listed on this piece of parchment and also provide either a check book or bank card and some cash so I may get a few things muggle side. Is there a magical equivalent?" he asked.
'First thing, I'm getting me some real underwear that fits. Hand me down underwear is gross and going commando in these over sized pants is drafty.'
"Very well, the inheritance test will be brought to is in a moment. As for the muggle side banking we are connected to all major banking institutions in the world. We will get you a credit card. As for the investments they will be taken care of with a standard fee of course."
As Daggertooth explained the procedures a goblin clerk appeared with a bowl, a ornamental dagger, quill and parchment and set them on desk.
"Sounds good. So, how do we do this test?"
"You will provide 7 drops of blood into that bowl."
Harry did as he was told and provided the blood and watched as Daggertooth said a spell in gobbledygook and dipped the quill into the blood ink mixture. The mixture was sucked up into that quill and then placed on the parchment. The quill stood straight up then sunk into the parchment which surprised Harry. 'That was so effin cool!' Harry saw words appear on the parchment. He saw the following:
Hawthorne James Potter
Born:
July 31st 1980
Father:
James Charlus Potter
Mother:
Lily Potter neé Evans
Lord of Noble and Most Ancient House of Potter
Lord of Noble and Most Ancient House of Peverell
Lord of Noble and Most Ancient House of Slytherin By Right of Conquest
Lord of Noble and Most Ancient House of Gaunt By Right of Conquest
Heir Presumptive of Noble and Most Ancient House of Black
Heir Secundus of Noble and Most Ancient House of Gryffindor
Total amount in vaults: 8,345,711 G
Total amount of properties:11
Total amount of bound servants:0
Various artifacts, portraits and books
"So, that happened." Harry stated nonchalantly. 'Aww shit! Lord Potter Bitches! Assets are taken care of, that's for sure. If I remember correctly the Gaunts were the inbred family of the dork lord.'
Daggertooth was again staring at the child in awe. Harry Potter had just become one of the wealthiest and most powerful wizards in Britain.
"It seems we will need to get the family rings. I will say this, you are currently head of 4 houses and heir to two. You will not be able to take official Lordship of said houses until you come of age.
That's mostly for politics though. You will have limited access to funds from those houses but I believe you will be more than satisfied by the amounts allowed. You will be allowed access to your Black family trust vault only since you are heir and Gryffindor has no such vaults for heir secundus." Daggertooth explained as he drew a box. Inside it were two rings.
"Could you explain these titles also why are there only 2 rings? I'd like to keep a low profile and five rings would not be it but since there is only two rings I was wondering where the the other 3 might be" Harry asked.
"For the Potter and Peverell lines you are the last male of the main line so you are automatically head of house but, the Peverell ring has been lost through the ages as for the Slytherin and Gaunt lines you took headship because you defeated the last Lord of those houses. That only happens when defending from acts of war from another house but again the rings have been either lost or destroyed.
As for Black, it seems you were named heir by the current Lord of Black. There is no ring for heir secundus. The rings signify you are head of those four houses and heir of the fifth. And also these rings come with enchantments so that they are visible only when you want them to be. Minor protection charms not to mention the mind altering potion and poison detector charms to help you determine if items or food are tainted. Please put the first ring on your right ring finger."
Harry slid the Potter ring on his hand and the ring resized to fit comfortably. It reminded him of class rings. Daggertooth handed him the next ring which he was told went on the same finger which it did and combined with the Potter ring. He cycled through them until it settled back on the Potter ring before disappearing altogether. Sweet! Now to get a move on before the Dursleys wake up.
"Dumbledore could only access my trust vault, right?" he asked now worried about his enormous windfall.
"Only head of house has access to family vaults, magical guardians can only access trust vaults," the goblin replied.
"Okay, now I would like to have that new vault under the name Jason Thorne. 'Lol. witty.' Please put 98% of my potter trust vault into it if it has been refilled, if not then 98% of the remainder." Daggertooth looked at the ledgers and stated that the Potter trust vault only allowed 5000 galleons per year on his birthday and that the Black trust vault allowed 10000 galleons but since he has not touched the Black since he was born that he had 110000 galleons he had access to.
After some quick mental math he said, "Then I would like 103,430 galleons deposited. This will be my operational account so fees will be paid from that account and when I need more money refill this account from the others.
Now, I would like curse breakers to inspect a ward on my muggle home to verify it's use also I would like the house warded if you could come up with a way to award my relatives a trip for a week and maybe compel them to leave me behind by myself, we can get them out of the house to have the work done.
I believe I'm being watched so if you could do this in secret I would appreciate it. I would like the best solicitors money can buy in both muggle and wizard sides on retainer. I would like to have two cases/trunks either bought or made that would have multiple compartments, my personal trunk will be including library stocked with all seven years of Hogwarts textbook list, stocked potions lab, bathroom, kitchen, sleeping area, training room with training dummies and muggle gym. The second trunk will have just a library compartment, stocked potions lab and training room. 'It's not fair that such a smart girl is being held back by a bigoted society. I'll just even the playing field a bit.'
I would like it so that when within the compartments no magic leaks out. And of course, top of the line security on the trunks. I don't want to be caught performing magic or have people going through my stuff.
I want my money invested to get greatest returns, so I leave that in the hands of your Goblin investors. Lastly, I need to have full physicals done muggle and wizard side and have both compared to see if what is wrong with me can be fixed with either sides treatments or combination of both."
"All of that will be done. Fees will be taken from your new account. Here is your new vault keys. In most situations your rings would work as your Identification but we understand the need for secrecy so we will provide this key. We will send a post to the Dursleys in the morning to state that they have a paid trip to a destination of their choice all expenses paid but they must leave later that day with compulsion charms to grease the wheels as it were. Once they leave we will have our curse breakers come review the ward you want looked into and then add our own wards if we can.
The trunks will be customized and stocked per your specifications. The solicitors will be on retainer first thing in the morning. We can schedule your physical for either tomorrow evening at earliest or whenever you find convenient." Daggertooth replied as he handed the bank card with enchanted wallet, vault key, business cards for the solicitors and enchanted gold sack to Harry.
"Perfect. Tomorrow evening sounds good if the Dursleys leave. If not then I will be in touch. By the way, if I were to find a basilisk and kill it. How would I be able to have it processed and sold?" Harry asked.
"If you were to find a basilisk we could process and sell it for you. For a percentage of both gold and usable parts, of course."
"Something to discuss later. Do you think I can get portkeyed into my backyard?"
"Certainly, it was a pleasure to meet you Mr Potter. I can see us having a long and prosperous relationship." Daggertooth stood and shook the child's hand. He then watched as the child was escorted to the departure room. One portkey later Harry was back into his cell under the stairs and laid in bed recounting his plans.
'Ok so my financial stuff is taken care of. The D-bags are going on vacation and I will have my warding stuff taken care not to mention my trunk. They can't track magic if I'm not in "muggle London" I hope a subspace in a trunk solves this problem if not at least Hermione and I will get nice trunks. Now to get some shopping done and get these physicals. Gotta find out how bad this kid has been messed up and hopefully fix the damage. Now how to deal with the Dursleys? I could blackmail Vernon with copies of my physical results going to the child protective services. I could definitely ninja his car and have him die in an accident. Well I could kill this whole family but we'll leave that as the final option. I'll decide in the morning.'
The next morning Harry woke up to the pounding of his cupboard door and his aunt Petunia bitching and complaining and telling him to go cook breakfast. 'I can't wait to decide how to get rid of these assholes but if she keeps screeching like that I'm leaning towards tragic accident.' "Coming Aunt Petunia." he yelled back at the annoying giraffe humanoid.
He got dressed and cleaned up and made breakfast. When he was done he was told to go get the post. He broke into a grin as he saw the letter he was expecting. He ran back inside and gave the mail to his uncle who complained for having to wait the 3 minutes it took Harry to get the mail. 'Really fucker? I'd love to see you get anywhere in 3 minutes, this fat body talking shit! The nerve!' "Looks like we got something from the National Lottery, Pet." At this point both Petunia and Dudley were reading over Vernon's shoulder as he opened up the mail and pulled out the letter.
Harry watched as Vernon unfolded the letter and saw as their eyes went glassy out of focus for just a split second before they were all getting up and saying they should start packing for their 2 week cruise. 'The goblins are worth every penny.' He just sat at the table forgotten as he ate the plate he fixed himself while they ran up stairs to pack or to call Grunnings saying the family was leaving the country in an emergency. By the time Harry ate his breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen they were already on the way without so much as a goodbye.
He watched them drive the road and disappear. 'Time to get cracking on this op. Harry opened the window to let Hedwig. She ate the bacon he had left for her and attached the letter to Daggertooth to let him know that he could send his cursebreakers to come look at the house. As well as, move up the physical.
An hour later he received a letter back saying the cursebreakers would be there within the hour and that the physical would be at noon. 45 minutes later Cursebreaker Bailey knocked at his door dressed like a muggle plumber. "Hello Harry, heard you had a problem with your pipes?" he said trying not to laugh. Harry smiled and said thanks for the passphrase, I know it's silly but CONSTANT VIGILANCE! he replied before breaking into a mischievous grin.
Chad took 30 minutes and got back to Harry and by the look on his face Harry didn't think he would like the results.
"Well Harry, here are the results there is definitely a ward on the house but it's in no way a protective one. It's just a combination alarm and intent ward. Basically if anyone with intent to harm you crossed the threshold the wards would just signal the receiver and that would be it. Now the bad news, there are quite a few monitoring and tracking wards on your school items, your clothing, glasses and owl and they are all tied to your magic. In blunt terms someone is tracking and monitoring you and is using you as the battery instead of a ward stone. The only way I know that could be done is through blood magic.
Sorry, Harry. To be honest with you I'm quite surprised you aren't eating and sleeping all day the energy consumption would send most wizards to St. Mungos with magical exhaustion." at this point Harry was both chagrined and starting to get pissed off. The original Harry had an explosive hot temper and would have blown up everything around him in a rage but Jason Martinez was different he had a cold temper as in he would not blow up but let the rage boil underneath the surface and feed off it to see his missions through and that is what he did.
"Well then, I shouldn't be surprised but I still am. So is there a way I can transfer all the tracking and monitoring charms to something so I'm not tracked like an animal also maybe come up with alternate power source?" he asked. Chad smiled and verified that yes they can transfer the charms and wards and use a ward stone to tie them all up. Harry then had a brainstorm.
"Chad is there a way I can make the ward stone for the tracking and monitoring charms something I can keep on me like a necklace or ring that if I didn't want to be tracked I could just leave behind?" Chad pondered and said there was a way but they would need some if his blood to not only tie the charms to, in this case necklace also to the ward stone that would replace him as the power source for the vaunted blood wards.
Harry was more than happy to provide the blood. 45 minutes, a pint of blood, two blood replenishing potions, a snack and orange juice later, Harry now had a ward stone powering the so called powerful blood wards buried in the backyard and had a necklace with a shrunken ward stone that had all the tracking and monitoring charms found on his effects along with a notice me not and custom anti summon charm tacked on.
When Chad finished it was 11 o'clock. He let Harry know that he would wait for Harry get ready and they could portkey to Gringotts for his physical. After leaving his necklace on a hook on the back of the cupboard door he and Chad portkeyed to Gringotts for hopefully the first step in getting his body back to cold steel and sex appeal.