Yeah, that's right I said it, zombies. well more like skeletons but here's how all that craziness went down. I was walking home after school thinking of the broken light fixture that sputters all the time and the old pipe that'll burst any day now. In case I hadn't mentioned it I live with my sister in my grandfather's house. The place runs on a couple of generators and has two sources of water so my grandfather never paid for electricity and water. So that means that it is quite livable, but I live alone mostly because of the fact that my grandfather's an archeologist and is usually abroad also because my twin is usually at someone else's house. I don't wanna go into my child-parent sad story so in a nutshell yes I live with my twin sister Aerith in my grandpa's old place reading books and wondering idly what nefarious scheme my sister is plotting next and how I can avoid being dragged into it. That aside as I walked home i noticed a car that seems to have been following me for the past block so naturally I try and shake it off by cutting into an alley, and jumped onto the dumpster, jumped on one side of the wall to get higher and then I grabbed the edge of the building and pulled myself up and lay on the roof as I heard car doors slam shut. Then even more disturbingly as I reached out my mind to read my pursuer's thoughts and a chill ran down my spine as I realized that I couldn't. This was the second time today and it's starting to piss me off, first I can't read my teacher's mind and now these people too! This has never happened before and then the one on the left spoke in what sounded like a death rattle and then I realized that the reason I couldn't read it, was because there was nothing to read. Its face was a bleached skull of some kind of creature that might have once been human but was mutated to something so much more horrible the kind of horrible that when you look at it you want to vomit, scream, piss and shit yourself all at once it was that bad. Then as if hearing my thoughts it looked up and straight into my eyes but instead of seeing the hollow pits of where there should be eyes I see an eerie shivery blue glow that seemed to stretch to infinity and then with a quiet chatter with its leering grin it pointed at me with a gloved hand and then without warning they leaped impossibly high and landed on the roof. But I had already booked it when they jumped and I ran like hell. As I reached the building's end I leapt to the next one but these nightmares just jumped it too. I needed to find a way to lose them so I took my jacket off while I ran, jumped the building to the next, hung my coat around a corner and jumped into the alley that came up next and grabbed the window ledge and flipped into the building and closed the curtain. My heart racing, I turned to see my pursuers jump the building and land on the roof above me. I was scared like never before. This might surprise you but it wasn't being chased by skeletons that bothered me, nor was it the agility they showed heck I just performed some crazy acrobatics myself. No, it was the signs of emptiness. Their movements were like an animated corpse being controlled by someone like marionettes. they hunted without pity. And I'm sure if given a chance they would have ripped me apart without mercy. There I was in the old building leaning against the wall when my heart skipped a beat, I was just sighing in relief when I heard that hushed sound like dry leaves blowing and crinkling in the wind So I grabbed the nearest object which happened to be a rotted wooden plank. Not my type of weapon but it's better than nothing. And then it slowly stepped from the shadows and approached. And it finally registered in my mind that this freak of nature was wearing a two-piece suit and tie with a fedora. Kinda like the stereotypical mobster from when al Capone was around and from its suit jacket it pulled an mp5 and I paused wondering how the hell it managed to conceal that. Then it took aim, so I threw the plank, ran forward and punched it's freakish death mask and to my surprise, the skull fell off and then to my even bigger and surprise and horror the body kept moving so I grabbed the gun and yanked it from its surprisingly frail grasp and whacked it as hard as I could against its nightmare of a body and heard with some satisfaction the crunch of bone and the hiss of what sounded like gas escaping from a pipe. Then there was a sickening thud. Then as my vision faded I remembered the second skeleton and fell to the floor slipping into the darkness of what I was sure was my soon to be death.
*****
I'm pretty sure I'm dead but if I'm actually dead then why does it hurt so much? Given the evidence available I have to conclude that I am not dead just very very sore. But then again I guess being dead would be preferable to my current predicament. First I get a failing grade in math dashing my every hope of a car to nothing and then I get attacked by someone. I wanna say that i beat them senseless but it was more like getting clubbed in the head and passing out. Really heroic I know. Anyway, I'm sitting in some cave looking around as my eyes become adjusted to the lack of light and can just discern three other people. I should be terrified but right now curiosity has won over and I ask who the other people are. The conversation went something like this. "Who's there? I say" "the figure to the left says that their name is Eric and I'm like whaaaaat! Well, that must mean we've been kidnapped by some anti-environmental group. Eric asks me how I can find anything funny right now and I say that if you're in a situation where you can't laugh then you should politely tell the perpetrators of said situation precisely where they can stick it. Eric laughs at this and tells me I'm crazy I say that I've never claimed to be anything else. As I get a better look at my surroundings I notice that the ceiling of the cave has stalactites hanging on the ceiling and a few of the other kind scattered all over the cave floor. Stalagmites or something like that I notice that we're not tied up so I stand up and walk over to the entrance to a passage leading out of the part of the cave we were in. the other two people were waking up now so once they were able to move I shouted for them all to follow me and I started down the passageway to what I hoped was the way out with three people in tow.
Okay, the good news is the passage was the way out. The bad news is that I have no clue where we are. Now that we are all standing in the light I see that Eric is that tree huggy kid who looks like a linebacker from school. Just imagine, Eric Silverstein stands in front of a crowd of new recruits as he screams at them to stand at attention in front of a tree and shouting commands like "you call that smelling a flower! Put your nose in there and snort! Or "Alright maggots get ready to hug that tree. You think you've known pain, well I'm here to tell you-you don't know nothing you greasy pigs!" come to think of it maybe that's why my teachers are always complaining about how I never pay attention. Here I am in a possibly life-threatening position and all I do is have amusing anecdotes run through my mind while the world goes mad around me how nice. I see that one of the people is that creepy goth kid from earlier and who has got to be his sister. I hear that she's always up to some organized crime of some sort or getting into bar fights. Somehow her brother seems to get blamed for it all. A funny old world we live in, a jock, a tree hugger, a vampire, and a delinquent get kidnapped and the jock runs into a two-headed moose wielding a crude club.