"Are you insane?" Maria questioned, cold sweat running down her back.
"Quite possibly, yes." Grant spoke with a smile.
While the woman was backing away in fear, Grant figured she wasn't all that attracted to him. In response, he just ignored it and resumed the trek towards the fortess. While he walked down the road, Grant had several run-ins with other bandits, denoting that the border fort was still quite a ways away. What he did see though, was a decrepit castle with ramshackle reinforcements to its crumbling walls.
"This is either a monster nest, bandit hideout, or a group of desperate villagers and the like praying for rescue. I hope its one of the first two, then I wouldn't be bothered by the authorities for killing them all." Grant muttered to himself while strolling towards his new destination.
Once he reached the walls, Grant decided against just smashing through them directly. After all, it wouldn't be any fun if nobody tried to fight back. With that in mind, he strolled around until he located the castle gate.
"HEY THIMBLEDICKS, DADDY'S HOME!!!" Grant shouted without a care whether or not the people inside were civilians or monsters.
Upon hearing this blatant provocation, a storm of shouting could be heard from the gate before a man in ragged clothes reciprocated the insult.
"WE'LL SEE HOW SMALL MY DICK IS WHEN IT'S UP YOUR ASS!!!"
"Ew" Grant made a disgusted face before taking a knife and tossing it upwards.
While the bandits were startled by their companion coming out of the closet, a knife ended the man's homosexual escapades before he could regale his tales. With a knife in the man's throat, the bandits woke from their stupor before firing arrows at the intruder. With a hail of pointy sticks raining down from the sky, Grant started slashing the arrows out of the air with another knife that came from nowhere.
The bandits were unable to see Grant's mighty feat of dexterity from their position, and thus believed him to be dead. Returning to their cards, they saw the intruder sitting at the table shuffling the cards.
"So, poker anyone?" Grant said as the bandits drew their weapons.
As the first bandit stuck with his hatchet, Grant sidestepped the vertical blow while slitting the man's throat. Moving on to the next one, Grant kicked the poor fellow's sword arm in the elbow, making it bend 90 degrees in the wrong direction. He then caught the sword and started to slash out rapidly, each slice causing a different bone to be exposed before he spun about and decapitated those who were in range.
By this point, the alarm had been risen, so that other bandits were gathering in the gatehouse courtyard. Some fired arrows at Grant, who chose to evade with the tried and true human shield tactic. Seeing it was pointless, an important looking bandit made them stop. When the last man on the wall fell, he spoke up.
"Who are you and why are you attacking us!?" He yelled.
"I am your father, and man I regret drinking that night!" Grant sarcastically replied, giggling like a nutcase.
Grant's words infuriated the boss looking bandit, but before he could issue a challenge Grant had already lept from his perch and started killing. Before long, it was only the gore spattered Grant and Mr. Important Bandit. Lopping off his legs, before Grant killed him he spoke.
"You don't need to say anything. I know you're connected to some influential figure with an evil plot to take over the world or some shit. But that's fine, I'm happy knowing that there is a suicidal lamb coming to the butcher." Grant smiled with his eyes closed, the blood on his face making him look like something an elder god would see in their nightmares.
Now that I think about it, yeah why not? Evil organization en route, maybe?
While Grant left, the castle bursting into flames behind him. Grant once more began his liesurely stroll towards a new grounds for mass murder.