GAB's
"Kuya..." Nanigas ako sa aking kinakatayuan ng makita si Ady. He looked like a zombie. Blodshot eyes painted with fear.
"Georgina threatened Daddy...she'll destroy everything we have if you won't marry her." Hindi ako sanay na makitang umiiyak ang kapatid ko.
Sa aming dalawa, kahit lagi siyang bulakbol ay sinusunod niya pa rin ang gusto ng mga magulang namin. He's studying nursing even though he don't want it.
Pabalik-balik iyon sa aking isipan matapos pagmasdan ang natutulog na si Donna. I didn't tell her about my problem. I'm scared I might lose her.
Ginawa ko ulit na rason na kailangan ko munang mag-aral ng masters degree bago pakasalan si Georgina. She went back to States to manage their business.
Mabilis akong nagbihis at saka hinanap ang condom. Baka nahulog lang iyon sa sahig. Hindi pwedeng walang condom. Fuck!
Yesterday, Georgina once again threatened my family. Inatake sa puso si Daddy dahil sa ginawa niyang iyon. Ady called. Begging me to do something.
Hindi ko pwedeng mabuntis si Donna! Fuck! Why did I got myself so drunk last night that I lost my fucking control.
Nanginig ang katawan ko ng makita ang nagtatanog na mukha ni Donna. Every fucking lie that I said breaks my heart. What hurts the most is the fact that I can't tell her what's bugging me.
Right after our heavy confrontation, I left Naga. Masyado akong ginugulo ng bawat iyak ni Ady sa tuwing tumatawag ito sa akin.
When Donna said that she just had her period. I chose to believe her. My family needs me now. I need to fix this first.
Hinding-hindi ako magiging handa para kay Donna kung hindi ko tatapusin ang problema namin.
I saw my Dad in the hospital. Machines are connected to his body. Hindi ko rin makausap ng maayos si Mommy. She's always spacing out. Hindi na namin namamanage ng maayos ang hospital namin.
Ady would study, then manage the hospital, and then would study again while taking care of our parents.
Until I gave in to Georgina. Nung niyaya niya akong pumunta sa bar. I gladly oblige. I need her help. Hindi pwedeng mawala ang bagay na pinaghirapan ng mga magulang ko. Kahit na tuluyan ng nawawala sa akin ang buhay ko...ang babaeng mahal ko.
I thought pushing her away is the most heartbreaking part. I thought wrong. The moment I saw Donna from afar staring at his father's name broke my heart the most. I want to hug her...I want to comfort her...but I'm too scared that if I do that, I might never come back to my family.
Nang umalis na si Donna kasama si Andy ay saka ako tahimik na naglakad sa puntod ng kanyang ama. Hindi ko naramdaman na umiiyak na rin pala ako.
"Sorry...for leaving your daughter...sorry for hurting her...Sir, I'm really sorry..."
I went back to Manila...incomplete...lost. Nalaman ko kay Ady na pinayagan nang lumabas si Daddy sa hospital. Mommy looked even fine now. Georgina helped in managing our hospital.
"Where are you going?" Natigil ako sa paglagay ng kaunting damit sa aking backpack matapos marinig ang boses ni Mommy.
"I'll be attending a seminar. I'll be back in a week." I'll be back with my life. Kukunin ko lang ang nawawalang parte sa aking sarili.
But I was too late. When I got in front of their mansion. Iba na ang nakatira roon.
"Pasensya ka na, hijo, pero umalis na kasi rito si Donna. Hindi rin namin saan pumunta eh." Paliwanag sa akin ng isang may katandaang lalaki. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, ito ang driver nila
Pabalik-balik ako sa paglalakad sa aking opisina. I built my own food manufacturing business. Maliit palang ito pero lahat naman nag-uumpisa sa maliit.
"Just hire an investigator. Have her followed." Kalmanteng nakaupo si Ady sa couch.
God! Bakit ba ang hilig-hilig kong sumunod sa sinasabi ng kapatid kong babaero?
"She sold all of her properties except for her house. The family of Azur are living there now." I frustratedly massaged my forehead.
"Who brought it?" Ipinakita niya agad sa aking kung sino ang mga bumili noon.
Mabilis kong kinontak ang aking sekretarya. I ordered him to buy all the assets of Donna. He needs to buy it all cost.
"Do you know where she is?" Napansin ko na parang biglang umiba ang mukha niya.
"Sir, she's not in the Philippines-"
"Where is she?"
"The last time, my co-investigator said that she was last seen in New York with...uh...Mr. Liam Imperial. After that, my investigator haven't seen her again."
Kinuyom ko ang aking kamao. What's going on? Kung bakit ba kasi halos abutin ng isang taon bago nahanap ng imbestigador ko si Donna!
I went to Liam's construction company. Fuck! Mukhang mapapagastos ako ng pera.
Liam laughed upon seeing me in the conference room. Maigi kong pinagmasdan ang kamay nito. I fisted my hands to see a ring in there!
This is fucking impossible! Alam ko na nagustuhan siya ni Donna noon but! Fuck, am I too late?
"Wasting money huh, Mr. Lacson?" Mas lalong dumilim ang tingin ko dahil sa sinabi niya.
I stopped myself from doing anything. My eyes were glued on his ring finger. May annulment naman diba?
"Sir! Ms. Pascal was spotted in BSU. She enrolled to the review center for Ftech Board Exam."
Agad kong pinatay ang tawag. I looked fucking desperate but I don't mind.
"Tell Ady to be the acting President. I'll be leaving for...three months...I don't know-"
My secretary cut off. "But Sir, we have a big business auction to happen-"
"Just tell Ady to represent the company. Or you...just...don't disturb me. Don't tell anyone about this."
I used my power to easily make it in BSU. Sakto naman at nag leave ang prof na naka-assign sa review center.
Halos manigas ako sa aking kinakatayuan ng makita siyang tahimik na nakaupo sa likod. She didn't even give me a glimpse. Her looks didn't even change...but I know that something's off.
"Glenda, please tell Do...I mean Miss Pascal to give me the attendance sheet later."
"But Sir, si Laurence po ang beadle next week-"
"Change it to Miss Pascal." Wala siyang nagawa kung hindi ang tumango na lang.
I acted as if I'm busy when in fact I can feel butterflies on my stomach. Para akong bakla!
Tahimik niya lamang na inilagay iyon sa mesa ko at saka umalis na. Tsk. Kailan pa ako natorpe?
Just when I was about to asked her to go with me ay dumating na naman si Georgina! Bwisit! Kailan ba to titigil? I already called off the engagement. Hindi niya na ako matatakot. I made sure that our hospitals were unbreakable.
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakita ko sa mga mata ni Donna. Halos hindi ako patulugin noon.
I never saw myself cried so bad. Well, I just did. The moment she told me that she's done on me...shows what's my weakness...it's Donna unloving me.
"Mommy!" Kumalabog ang boses ko ng marinig iyon.
Bakit ba kasi walang lamp post dito. Sino ba ang tinatawag nun? Sure, it's not Glenda. Absent si Glenda. Si Glenda lang naman ay may anak--- I froze. What if...
My whole world crashed. The image of Andy waiting for Donna...Andy kissing her on the cheeks...ang sakit sa mata!
Akala ko ba si Liam? Ang bobo naman ng hinire kong imbestigador!
And then Georgina butted in again. Kailan ba 'to titigil? Fuck! Donna's mad! She's fucking crying. Ang sarap sapakin ni Georgina!
"Mommy, why are you crying?" My jaw dropped.
A boy around four or five...I don't know...his eyes stayed at Donna...then to Andy...then to Georgina...and stopped on me.
Those eyes, lips, eyebrows, nose...that fucking image looks really familiar. Fuck! Ito ba ang kapalit ng pagpili ko sa pamilya ko? Bakit ang sakit?
Pinakita sa akin ni Ady ang nakuha niyang mga impormasyon tungkol kay Donna.
"Simon Alexander Pascal." My shoulders are shaking. Pinapunta ko pa rito sa Naga si Ady para lang ibigay sa akin ang hinihingi ko.
"I saw her leaving with Andy. Nasa airport na sila-"
"Ady, do you know how to teach?" Masama niya akong tiningnan.
"Dude, nursing student ako, hindi food technologist! Baka mamaya walang makapasa dahil -"
Ngunit wala siyang choice. I booked a ticket to Manila. Nalaman ko kung saan sila nakatira matapos niyang ienrol ang anak namin sa school na pinatayo ko.
Hindi pa rin makapaniwala si Donna ng makita niya ako sa tapat ng condo nila. My son was staring at me. He loves his mom so much.
"Is it...okay to hug you?" I said when Donna left the two of us. Magrereview ata ang misis ko. Misis? Eh mukhang ayaw na nga sayo!
"You don't love me...why do you want to hug me?" Gulat akong napatingin sa kanya. Nangapa ako ng salita ngunit walang lumabas kahit isa.
"You left us. Everytime I would hear my Mom cry, he's always saying your name. When I heard her and Tito Andy talking...when I heard how you left us...how my Mom sobs...I know you hate us." He was silently crying.
Puno ng pagsusumamo ang mga mata ko. "Don't you want to have someone that looks exactly like you?" He said while sobbing.
Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang yakapin siya. How I wish that this could help for him to cease away the idea of me not wanting them.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. "Daddy really loves you. I don't know what to do before...my parents need my help. I don't want to leave you. I tried to find you. I'm sorry."
Natakot ako ng humiwalay ito sa pagkakayakap ko sa kanya. Donna raised such a wonderful child.
"Do you love us?" He asked while wiping his tears away.
"A lot." I whispered.
I hope I'm not too late.