Nagising ako dahil sa ingay ng mga yapak ng paa. I can smell a delicious breakfast in bed and a bright smile from Gab.
But of course, that's only in my imagination.
Kunot-noo kong tinitingnan si Gab habang may pilit na hinahanap sa kwarto ko. Nakasuot na siya ng boxer at puting t-shirt.
"What are you looking for?" I asked him while walking near my closet to wrapped myself too. Nakasuot na ako ng panty.
Naghanap na lang ako ng shorts at tsaka sando. Muli akong sumalampak sa aking kama.
"What are you looking for Gab?" Ulit kong tanong sa kanya. He looked frustrated.
"Condom." He murmured and went back on looking for it.
Agad na sumikip ang dibdib ko. Mapait akong humalakhak. Mabilis kong nakuha ang attention niya.
"Hindi ka gumamit ng condom. You had it inside me." I tried to sound so casual when in fact I'm on the brink of crying.
"That's absurd!" Inis niyang singhal na halos mapatalon ako sa aking kinauupuan.
"I am not lying! You had it inside me!" Ngayon ay hindi ko na mapigilan pa ang tumayo at pagtaasan siya ng boses.
"That cannot happened!"
"It just did, Gab! What's wrong with you?!" Pilit kong hinarap ang matalim niyang mga tingin. I saw how his breathing hitched.
"Ganyan ka ba mainlove ha, Donna?" Hindi ako makapaniwala sa tanong na binitawan niya sa akin.
"You don't have any plans for yourself? You just...gave your all to a guy...you-" Naramdaman ko ang hapdi ng palad ko matapos itong tumama sa kanyang pisngi.
"You're not just a guy." I defeatedly said. I just love him with the best that I can do. "You are that one person I truly love. The one I want to see first in the morning...and the one I want to see last befor I peacefully sleep under you arms. You're not just a guy...I have...plans for myself...I have plans...for us." Napapikit ako ng marinig ang malas na pagtama ng kanyang kamao sa dingding ng aking kwarto.
"You know I have plans for myself, Donna. I need to finish my masters degree. I need to work hard to create my own name." Nanghihina niyang paliwanag na pilit ko lang sinagot ng tango.
"You're being paranoid. I just had my period ended two days ago. I heard it's safe." I said in a small voice hoping his thoughts would be clear.
Unti-unting nawala ang kunot sa noo ni Gab. Unti-unti rin akong nawawasak sa loob.
Gab picked up for his things and slid it inside his bag.
"You're only eighteen, Donna. Chase your dreams." But...you are also my dream, Gab. "I'm only twenty-three."
I handed over him a gift I had inside my shorts. "Twenty-four, Gab. Happy birthday."
Natigilan si Gab sa pag-aayos sa kanyang gamit. I tried so hard to composed myself as I slid inside his bag my little gift.
"Keep that for yourself, Donna. Remembrance...or what." I bitterly nod my head.
Nagmamadali si Gab sa na umalis sa bahay namin. He didn't even looked at me.
Hindi na rin ako nag-abala pang sundan siya. Natatakot akong magmakaawa sa kanya. Hindi ko na namalayan na humagulhol na pala ako. I cried my heart out. Scared for myself. Scared for my relationship with Gab. Scared for the possible outcome of what happened to us.
Hindi naman lahat nabubuntis agad. I had my period ended two weeks ago. I don't know. I forgot. Sana lang ay wala naman.
Pilit kong inalis sa isipan si Gab lalo na dahil magiging abala kami para sa aming thesis. I've decided to quit majorette because I need to focus on our research. Ganoon din ang ginawa ni Ella.
Wala akong natanggap na kahit isang mensahe mula kay Gab. Inisip ko na lang na abala siya sa kanyang pag-aaral. I hope Gab would make up his mind and contact me.
Dad became very busy with City Fiesta. Madalas ay gabi na ulit siya umuuwi. We had our school breaks due to the fiesta kaya naman nandito kami ngayon sa bahay para ayusin ang powerpoint presentation namin nang sa ganon ay maenjoy din namin ang fiesta. It's been two weeks and yet I haven't heard anything from Gab.
Nagsimula na rin ang pagpractice namin para sa Mr and Ms Intramurals. Madalas akong mauhaw tuwing practice.
"Okay students! Bukas ulit!" The organizer of the program said.
Nakita ko sa malayo si Andy. He waved at me. Mabilis ko siyang dinaluhan.
"Bumili ako ng turon sa labas. Mukhang pagod na pagod ka." The moment he mentioned turon, my stomach curls up and down.
I run near the sink outside the pavilion. Mukhang nasira ata ang tiyan ko. Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal sumuka doon. Andy slowly pat my back.
"I think I ate something wrong kanina." I said while wiping my sweat away.
"Turon oh." Nang ilapit niya iyon sa akin ay halos masuka ulit ako kaya naman mabilis niya iyong itinago sa kanyang bag.
"I'm just tired." I said while stopping myself to overthink something.
Andy just shrugged his shoulders. He even insisted na ihatid na ako sa amin but I told him that I have my driver with me.
Tahimik akong pumasok sa aming sasakyan. Wala pa si Daddy. May tinatapos ata na report dahil sa naganap na fiesta.
Ikinulong ko ang aking sarili sa loob ng kwarto ko. Nagmamadali ako sa pagkuha ng aking telepono para matawagan si Gab.
"Sorry. The number you dialled is either unattended or out of coverage area." I called his number more but to no avail, he's not answering it.
My hands are shaking while looking for his name on facebook but nothing appeared.
Mukha akong pinagbagsakan ng langit at lupa habang pilit na kinakalma ang sarili.
Did he just run away from me? Why? Because he's scared this child might ruin his dreams?
Mabilis kong pinunasan ang mga luha ko ng marinig ang marahang katok sa labas ng aking kwarto.
"Ma'am! Ang Daddy niyo po!" My heart beats so wild upon hearing Manang's voice with worry.
"What happened?" I screamed so loud stopping myself from crying. I need to be strong.
"Sinugod sa ospital, Ma'am." Mangiyak-ngiyak niyang wika sa akin.
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wattpad: penelophie