Hey. I have an idea, not for the book I'm 'working' on (the scrapheap one mentioned previously), but something different. You see, I had a dream last night.
While I don't remember most of it, I remember that it was based on a young guy called Sion. I remember that his name was revealed only pretty late in my dream, probably near the end of it- so that's why I remember it. Now, for the next bit about Sion, and this started as early on as the beginning on the dream (I think so, I don't actually know, but I just FEEL like it's true) it's that he can never die.
Literally, every time he died in horrendous ways, he would 'die' then be instantly healed, oh yeah, he was also isekaied. If you (somehow) don't know what that is, search it up, you will have countless manga and light novels to read on this topic (just so you know, isekai means another world in Japanese, this should give you a general idea). So yeh, that's more or less it. All I know other than this is that the dream was awesome.
So, what I was thinking- and what led me to write this note, is about how customs would be in another world. The dream I was talking about was just now was a generic isekai really, set in kinda medieval Europe with swords and magic and princesses and shit. I remember there was something about a dragon, just no demon king- I don't think.
But what I was thinking about was just different, I guess. Firstly, I was thinking about how people would cut their hair or whatever before going to a gathering or party, right? (Yes, yes it's a shítty example. I only used it because both side of the comparison involved cutting something off. Think more like dressing up, styling your hair, putting on aftershave/perfume or actually having a shower)
Well, what if it was something like cutting a finger off in order to prepare? Like, for whatever reason, they cut off a finger or something as it was their custom, their common sense. For all we know, they could think cutting our hair, or looking presentable would be strange, and even horrifying.
Mabye they cut their finger off as a sign of respect to the host, and to not do so would be blasphemous (man, I love this word. Seriously, it's up there with serendipitously and floccinaucinihilipilification) especially if the host was of high standing (here's where [the redacted name of a Chinese webnovel. Yup, don't wanna get into shít, even if it doesn't make a difference whether I say it or not*] is affecting the way I look at things. That book had so much emphasis on the fact that people had different statuses).
Then I thought about Sion. What happened if he died from blood loss or something, idk, and he got instantly cured right before the gathering, with no time left for him to cut off his finger again, well, he would be in shit- right? So yeah, that's what I was thinking, and this is where my thinking on this matter reached it's end. So yeah, idk.
Well, good night. It's Monday 11th November 2019 at 22:34.
Hey! It's Wednesday 13th November of the same year. It's just been a couple days, but today I read in a manga that a character had read a book in which somebody could die if they loose 30% of their blood, like, if they cut an artery, they would have between 3 minutes and an hour to live. It the manga, a hostage was taken, and the criminal said this stuff to threaten the people around him. So yeh, idk if it's true, but if it is, Sion might've died if he cut off his finger? Alrighty, cya!
Hello. I have been copy and pasting all the random shit so far, so this will probably be going on there too!
-Wednesday 12th August 2020 at 03.07 (if you're wondering why I'm writing the date, it's because I like to keep track of things in my digital notepad.)
* Fine fine, I guess we will play a lovely little game of 'guess the Webnovel from the shitty synopsis I'm trying to think up of'.
So, it's a Chinese sci-fi cultivation webnovel. Before I continue, I want to say that I highly recommend it, and it's on the weekly featured every now and then, so you'll probably spot it. I quite liked it, but stopped reading at around ch. 800 because I'm waaaaay to poor. Right, it's also got quite a lot of filler. And the cliffs will make you feel like jumping off of them. But you could also say that it's got extensive world building (it only got annoying because it made the chapters really long and I was paying with coins) that you WILL need, and that the author is very experienced with roping readers in.
So, in the first few paragraphs of the very first chapter we have the bullshít excuse that a dimensional rift opened up due to humanity building an artificial black hole between the Earth and moon in order to solve the global energy crisis in I think the year 2166. Bear with me here, I read the book ages ago, and while I did read it three times over, it was AGES ago.
So, out from the dimensional rift naturally comes dimensional energy, which mutates the life forms on Earth. Animals get mutated into flesh-eating monsters stronger than before, and some humans can use the energy to cultivate and get stronger and shít blah blah blah.
Right, the book's title is two words- the first one beginning with a B, and the second beginning with an F. It's perfect, because the MC is a battle junkie. Right, the MC's surname is Wang.
Fun fact that has nothing to do with the book really: This book is the reason I started using Webnovel. I came across whatever the Chinese version of manga is called of this book, read it, and liked it a lot. I was still quite new to the world of Eastern literature, and only recently learnt that stuff would normally have novel counterparts. I went onto the play store, searched 'webnovel' and went on the first one I saw.
Even funnier, this entire thing is a chain reaction to me. I'll elaborate, so just go onto the next chapter of stop reading if you want:
Ok, a year or two ago now, my nan died, I was feeling like shít, I moved to a new country a year before that and I left everything I knew behind me for 11 years and basically started anew. So, with the combination of everything, I kind of wisened up a bit and decided to take things as they came. My family finally got Netflix, and I had fun exploring that. I came across anime, and I think the first thing I ever watched was SAO (I can't remember at this point, with all the stuff I've watched and read since). I decided to delve deeper, not too much, but it was fun, new and interesting so I was curious.
From anime, I discovered manga, downloaded one of the many, many manga apps out there and started reading manga too. I came across what I think was a Korean manga (seriously, I do not know what they're called, both begin with m though) called Life Howling (fuck it, I'll just put the name). It was alright, and at this point in time, all tropes and cliches were shiny and new too. It only had 17 chapters with some missing on my manga reading app, so I decided to download another one that seemed like it had a lot of content on it.
I found the same book on there too, but I was blinded by all the other stuff! During this time I also had a try on [Cr*nchyRoll, just in case] but I actually preferred manga to anime. Of course, I'll never say I've seen or read everything. Hell, I even avoid some of the popular stuff like [N*ruto] and [J*ojo] just because!
Right, I found BF on this 'new' manga reading app, came onto Webnovel, and here we are. All this happened in the span of around 2 years... I will admit my grades dropped from solid 97%-100% to 23%-98% which is a pretty sharp decline. I got the 23% during and English test where I refused to write the essay though. Not to mention it was the jump from primary to secondary school. But, I feel like my brain has expanded, and will continue to do so.
I wouldn't be where I am right now, without all of it. Of course, I think I'm depressed, have severe social anxiety, I don't go outside unless I have to, when school starts up again, my average hours of sleep will be around 4 if I don't have to have some all-nighters in a row for projects and essays, I feel like I'm worse than a recluse, I ignore the one friend I have so I can continue reading my books, I'm a horrible procrastinator and I'm too scared to ask my parents that I want to go to therapy. But whatever, I guess.
*sigh* we're all tiny insignificant things smaller than a fraction of dust in this vast, ever-expanding universe. We're all gonna die one day, completing our lives, that are so short but just so happen to be the longest lasting thing we will ever experience.
Someday, our planet will die too, along with all the others and our Sun. Then it'll be our galaxy, and eventually our universe. We know it's coming, but our existence is so small, random and insignificant that we can do nothing, nor will we ever truly comprehend the meaning behind things.
We live our tiny lives on our tiny planet, either embracing or straight up ignoring our tiny existence. Everything that has ever happened, or ever will happen on our tiny planet will not affect anything in any way. The very fact we exist is a miracle that has such a slim chance of happening that we can't explain it with our logic.
The universe will die. We will die. Everything we do will mean nothing. Everything will not exist after a while. We will not exist after a while. Everything we know, everything we love will be nothing, and so will we.
This is our insignificant logic, it states nothing but the truth. It's our truth. Maybe we're wrong, maybe we're right. Maybe our very definitions of 'truth', 'right' and 'wrong' are incorrect. Maybe everything we know is a lie.
We say a statement, no matter if it's right or wrong, if we say it enough times, and if we believe it, it means it's true, because it's our truth. We see everything from our own viewpoints. Our experiences compiled throughout our tiny lives form our memories and thoughts, it which our truths originate from. People throughout history recorded down their thoughts, and our truth is built up from those, and their thoughts were built up from those before them and so on. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. Our thoughts came out of nowhere, we will eventually return to the state of nothingness.
So really, we have no idea what anything is, was or will be. We're completely blind, while we think we can see, but know we might be blind at the same time. Now, we have to figure out WHY we might be blind, why we might not be, what it means it be blind, what things look like, what the things we see are what is actually there, or is what are maybe-blind vision sees and many, many more questions.
You see, everything we know might not be real, but because it's everything we know, it's also the only things we know. So it's currently real to us. And it's as real as it can be, because it's everything. I believe this is why everything and nothing is the same. Because we don't know what either of them are outside of what we know, or if what outside of what we know is actually the same as what we know or not, or if there's an outside at all.
Because there's the potential possibilities for everything, including that the 'real' definition of everything is nothing, and vicsa versa. And there's also the question about the 'real' definition of 'real'. It's so convoluted and massive, that our tiny existence can't handle it. Maybe everything is connected, maybe everything is according to our truth, mabye everything could be anything else.
We don't KNOW. And what we don't know, cannot be considered as part of our truth unless we integrate it to be a part of it. Our truth is our collective experience, consciousness, memories and thoughts. Many people die every day, many people are born everyday. Our truth is forever changing, so everything we know is forever changing too.
I could literally say anything, and if it makes sense to me, it's part of my truth. Like I said, it's so confusing. Everything is changing, because our truth is changing. That's the easiest way I can put it.
Alright, i went off on a tangent. Don't worry, I just read it through again. Everything that made sense to me just a second ago I can barely grasp now. It's very disorienting. Listen, I turn 14 in just over a day. I'm a teenager who has a habit of spouting shít and thinking about things that help me to accept things and now I'm also tempted to say to all my teachers:
"Nothing is everything, we're all gonna die so everything also means nothing. Last time I checked, all the work I was supposed to do for the past half a year during lockdown that I didn't touch because I was reading books is a part of everything, so it's also nothing. If it's nothing, it's null, it doesn't exist. So yes, I can't complete my schoolwork if it doesn't exist."
...Then I remember my crippling social anxiety, cringe for a bit and wonder what my teachers's reactions would be. Then I sigh, and go back to doing random shít and accept the fact that I'm gonna be working a lot for roughly the next few decades of my life and that I'll probably never be as carefree as I am right now.
Man this is horrible. It's funny, I have so many things I wanna type, but I can't be bothered to type any of them. Well, fuck it.
I'll stop writing now. I'll either go back to my book, listen to music or just walk around the house. Yeahhh, that's my life. Well it's better than most and I have no right to complain, so I'll just shut up now.
-Tuesday 25th August 2020 at 23.33.