"And now you're provoking the only other person who we can fully trust! It's like you want the world against you! What happens then, huh? Will you just fight your way out of it, because look at where that's gotten you now!" She takes a ragged breath in and tangles her hand in her hair. "I don't know what to say to you anymore… It's like you deliberately do the opposite of what I tell you."
An uncomfortable silence fell between the two. She watched him through blurry eyes while he stood speechless and ashamed.
"We'll say something you asshole."
"Kaz, I- I don't know what to say…"
"How about, "I'm sorry for being an absolute fucking douche, Kaz! I understand that you're under a lot of stress and as your husband I'll do my best to help you!". Maybe then I could stand to be around you!"
"Wait-" Ricky shakes his head in disbelief, his eyes wide with the realization of what she had just said. "You don't want to be around me?"
A single year rolls down her cheek as she stares at her husband.
"Is that all you got out of this conversation?" She tilts her head. "You are impossible, Ricardo." Her head hung low as she accepts that her constant cries for help would remain unheard. "Just go. I don't want to see you right now." She puts her hand on her forehead.
"Kazmaria…" He reaches out touch her but she shies away. "Kaz, please. I know I messed up but you've gotta know that I'm thinking about the bigger picture here!"
She remains quiet, she had nothing else to say, nor the energy to say it, so she let him speak.
"The whole thing with Lina would have taken you weeks but my guys have already found names! And Germany! I want to move the family to a place where we can be safe. I- It's the only place where we'll be on neutral ground."
She still refused to look at him. Afraid that if she did that she'd fall for his silk tongue and velvet lies… That she'd fall right back into his arms as if nothing had happened.
"I'm sorry Kazmaria. I'm so sorry that I've been neglecting you. I need you more than life itself and I would never put what we have in jeopardy. I love you…"
She wipes the tears for her face and slowly lifts her head. Her eyes meet his and she touches his cheek.
"I love you, Ricky. That's my problem… I'll always love you no matter what you do; But maybe you're just not made for this life."
"Wha- What do you mean?" Panic began to rise within him. He was already jumping to conclusions on what she was about to say.
"Maybe you'll be happier if you just went back to the Arañas Rojas. Maybe after you've grown tired of all the drugs, money and death, you'll come back to me."
"Go back? No, I left the gang so I could start a life with you! A family…"
"The same family you leave to go fight in illegal fights. The same family you constantly put in harms way because no matter how hard I try to push you forward, you always turn back to your old ways."
Her hand had dropped from his face but he desperately clung to her limp fingers.
"I- I don't want to leave you Kaz. I need you!"
She sniffles and shakes her head in a disapproving manner. "No Ricky, you need a challenge… That's why you always revert back to your old ways. That's why you're never around anymore. Because I'm no longer a challenge to you. You got me, you took a ruthless killer and turned her into your housewife. It's why you can never stay…"
He shook his head as his mouth hung slightly open.
"No. That's not true. I didn't just marry you because I thought you were a challenge. I married you because we fell in love. I wanted to spend an entirety with you right next to me."
"So why can't you stay?" Her voice was low and the somber tone in which she spoke made Ricky feel even more guilty.
"I've just been busy, baby. That's all. But I swear to you that as soon as we're safe in Germany that I'll stay put. I swear it to you Kaz."
Her eyes seemed lifeless, dull and tired. She was beyond exhausted and it was clear for all to see.
"I'm so tired Ricky…" She shakes her head. "All this back and is really taking a toll on me. So okay, whatever it is that you're so desperately chasing after, I'll help you."
Dumbstruck, he stares at his wife. His mouth was dry and no words were seemed to form in his head. She had done a complete 360 and he had no idea how to respond.
"Help me…? How…? No, why?" He attempted to piece together a sentence but as he tried, he wasn't able to make any sense.
"Because I love you, but I realize now that you'll never be satisfied until whatever itch you have is scratched."
"…Meaning?"
Kaz sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. "Meaning that I hate fighting with you! So for old times sake, let's handle this shit. Together."
A jolt of electricity made its way through his body. He was excited but didn't want to get his hopes up.
"No, Kaz I wouldn't want you to be apart of all this. This ain't just street gangs and crazy old ladies, this is my personal business… Shit you have no idea about."
"You are my business." She stands up straight up stretches her hands over her head. Her top rode up and exposed her stomach, which Ricky stole a glance at.
"Holy fuck. Kaz, when did you get those?!" He motions for towards the abs on her stomach.
"Are you serious right now? You just saw me naked the other night and you didn't notice that?"
A blush form on his cheeks as the memory of what they did flooded back to him. "I mean my face was buried between your thighs for the most part so…"
She fights the smile forming on her face and shoved his arm. "Shut up. I've been working out like crazy since I've had the boys. You know it's literally my only hobby."
He moves closer to her but this time she doesn't move away. Instead, she welcomes his closeness by grabbing hold of his hand.
"You know that you were supposed to be taking it easy. Intense exercise sounds like the opposite, no?"
His lips curl into a mischievous smirk as he looks down at her with both his hands now cradling her hips.
"When will you learn that I do what I want?" She returns his grin and pulls him closer to her.
"Look at you, already sidetracked by my charming good looks. How will you ever help me with my work?"
"Shouldn't I be saying that? After all, you are the one who has a tent in his pants."
He looks down at his pants then back up at her with a smile, "You're absolutely beautiful but I'm afraid that's just my phone, love."
Kazmaria laughs and goes to push him away but his hands grab at her wrist. "I know you're laughing now but I'm not buying it… I know you're still upset with but I meant what I said. After this, that's it for me, hermosa. I'm done… For good."
He nuzzled his head on her shoulder and deeply inhaled her scent, a mix between vanilla and that new baby smell. "After this, I can finally be the man you need."
"Then let's make our last job together he best one yet." She replied while he running her fingers though his hair.
"One last time mami?"
She nodded slowly. "One last time, my love."
The End