you know one of my greatest failures in life? it's not being able to love anyone. it's not them it's just I dint know how to love someone. ive tried and tried but I dont know how. I've been told I'm not affectionate enough and been told by my little sister that I'm the worst big brother. my parents are parents to only my sister. they didn't raise me because I never got to live with them for more then 8 months at a time. all the rest of my childhood was spent in mental health hospitals and anger management facilities. all because I kicked my teacher and had a big temper tantrum in elementary school I never even graduated from preschool. I'm told now that the elementary school I was taking preschool classes in now uses a video of my tantrum as a training video at there school.
ive never been good with words and having been locked up away from society by my own parents is something I can v
never forget. as much as I'd love to sit with them and sing kumbaya I just cant.sem to tell them how much I hate them...but yet I don't hate them not in a sense that I can put into words. and.even now idk if I can truly say I hate them.or I love them. I'm 20 years old and words are still so hard.