Some days I just can't seem to focus. It's hard to concentrate on what's going on around me, on what I'm doing.
It's been getting worse lately. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed from the moment I wake up in the morning, as though something bad is going to happen. I can't breathe right; my hands and feet are cold.
My head hurts.
I feel like everything I do from sunup to sundown is just to keep this bad thing from happening. And every day I have to do more and more. It is exhausting. Nothing that I do is ever enough.
I feel like I'm always being watched.
I hate being watched.
Prologue
Emil is running after his slum kids, panting in the noonday sun, loosening the high collar of his shirt as he goes.
The children urge him on, their voices shrill with agitation.
"Not much further, Father Emil!"
"Over here, this way!"
"Just a little more!"
