Walking around the lake and talking went better than I expected. I was still a little shy, but his presence and voice is comforting and calming. It was easy talking about things like our families/background and school. Although on the surface, we look like polar opposites with his involvement in sports and school while I hide away in my dorm, we have a lot more in common than I expected.
Korean food always makes me happy. So, after walking alongside the lake, I invited him to my dorm to eat Korean snacks. When we arrived, he kept looking around, curious and focused. He hopped on my bed and noticed the painting above my headboard. He kept staring at it and eventually asked me why I chose the unique color combination.
I froze for a minute. I wasn't sure if I should tell him the truth or something fake like: "Oh those are just my favorite colors." I chose to tell him the truth, "Oh uhm... They're the colors for the asexual flag in the LGBTQ+ community." He looked at me point blank with his mouth slightly open.
"So uhm... Sulbi, do you identify with the asexual community?" Conan asked awkwardly.
"Hm... yes. Do you know what it means to identify as asexual?" I asked back.
"I uhm... I think we have a lot more in common than we originally thought," Conan said.
I just sat there in my chair, trying to process everything. You're telling me that Conan Conrad is asexual too? Could this be the reason why he never dated any girls even though he could easily pick and choose whomever? I would have never expected... He has quite the reputation too to hook up though. But I also know that being asexual doesn't necessarily mean that you don't have sex; it just means that you do not experience sexual attraction.
"I guess we do.... do you want to talk about it?" I asked. Conan still looked uncomfortable and is now looking down at his feet.
"Hey uhm, I've got to go. It was nice hanging out with you though. I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about my asexuality... It's not exactly something people will understand," Conan said speedily.
"Yeah for sure, no problem... and Conan... before you leave, just know that I understand," I said with a soft, reassuring smile.
"Yeah thanks," as he jumped off the bed and put on his shoes, immediately leaving the room.
I stare at the drawer near my desk that has the Korean snacks I wanted to share with him. Untouched. Unopened. Not even given a chance.