Dale's
"Ano? Wala ka bang balak suyuin si Charm? Naku! Kapag iyon naagaw ng iba." Pananakot sa akin ni Liam.
Masama ko itong tiningnan, "Bakit? Do you like her?"
Liam raised his hands, "Chill! Of course not!"
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin kung gusto ni Liam si Charm. That would the end for me.
"Saan ka pupunta?" I curiously asked Liam.
"Susunduin yung date ko para mamaya." He casually said.
"Ang aga pa ah!" Kinindatan niya lang ako, "Attend ka, dude!"
Napailing na lang ako sa kanya. Tinatamad man ay nagbihis na ako dahil flinood ako ni Liam ng messages na pumunta sa ball.
"Gayshit." I murmured to myself when I saw Liam in the middle of the crowd with Charm beside him.
She looks so different and I don't like it! Noon pa man, alam kong maganda na si Charm. She's also so cute. Nahihiya lang akong aminin ito sa kanya kaya when I had the chance to tell her what I feel before it's too late, I grabbed it.
Fuck! I fucking want to kiss her the moment she said yes! At the same time, I want to respect Charm.
Days passed by fast when you're happy. Naisip ko na sulit lahat ng sakit na naramdaman ko noon dahil ganito naman ako kasaya kasama si Charm.
I'm going to miss my girl. Every summer kasi ay nakagawian na naming umuwi ni Liam sa Manila. I'm okay with Liam, not with my Mom.
"Jane's pregnant." Liam said while I'm busy saving the money I earned for our first anniversary.
Mukha akong tanga. Excited akong masyado para sa anniversary namin.
I shrugged my shoulders, "Good for her! Teka, close na ba kayo ni Jane? She's really nice!"
Nawala ang ngiti sa mga labi ko ng makita ang seryosong mukha ni Liam. He sighed.
"Dale, listen to me. Jane is pregnant and you are the father of her child." He slowly told me.
I shook my head. "That is not a good joke." I warned him.
"She's eight months pregnant. You got her pregnant." Pilit akong kinukumbinsi ni Liam.
Hindi ako naniniwala. Hindi ito pwede! Not now that me and Charm is happy. Tangina! Bawal ba akong maging masaya?
Umalis ako sa bahay namin. I drove all the way to Jane's condo. I frustratedly looked at her the moment she opened her door.
Nakita ko pang may hawak na manga si Jane. I looked at her stomach. Malaki na iyon.
"Is that my child?" I nervously asked her.
Tinaasan niya lang ako ng kilay bago pumasok sa condo niya at umupo sa dining table.
"Yes. This your fucking child!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Halos kilabutan ako ng marinig siyang sumigaw.
I wasn't able to speak or move lalo na ng makita ang unti-unting pagtulo ng mga luha nito.
"Tangina nabuntis ako ng bata!" She groaned in frustration. "But I am not going to convince you father my child." She seriously told me.
I nodded at her. Kung ganon, okay lang. Magiging okay lang naman kami ni Charm diba?
"I'll help you financially. I can't marry you, Jane. You know I like-" She cut me off.
"Do you know why I'd always be there to take care of you? Because I like you. Putangina, gustong-gusto kita kaya okay lang sa akin. Okay lang sa akin na maging takbuhan mo ako kapag may problema ka. Okay lang sa akin na alagaan ka. Okay lang sa akin na hindi mo ako panindigan." She whispered her last lines as she wiped her tears away.
"Pagmahal mo, wala kang ibang gugustuhin kundi ang kasiyahan niya. Kahit na hindi ikaw, kahit na hindi ako." She stood up while holding her tummy.
Gusto kong hawakan ang tiyan niya but I stopped myself from doing it. I nodded at her.
"If you need anything, you can call me." She casually shrugged her shoulders.
"Liam is helping me. But, sure, I'll call you." I nodded and went outside her condo.
Alam ko na sobrang unfair ko sa part na iyon. I can keep them both, my child and Charm.
Pero akala ko lang pala iyon dahil nang manganak na si Jane ay walang mag-aalaga sa kanya. We hired nannies for them.
After OJT ay agad akong pupunta sa condo niya. I would spend lunch with Charm. Para sa akin ay okay lang. Kaya ko naman.
"He's...he got confined!" Nanghina ako ng marinig iyon galing kay Jane.
I hurriedly went to her and I saw her crying.
"Jane, anong nangyare?" I frustratedly asked her.
"Suka siya ng suka tapos ang taas pa ng lagnat niya. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin -" I cut her off.
"Nursing student ka! Bakit hindi mo alam?" Hindi ko napigilang sigaw sa kanya.
"Wow ha! Sorry naman kung hindi ko alam pero putangina hindi ako nakapagtapos ng nursing dahil nabuntis mo ako! Dahil mas pinili kong magpaka-ina sa anak mo! Hiyang-hiya naman ako sayo, ha? Tatay na tatay ka kay Jade eh!" Masama akong tiningnan ni Jane bago umalis sa harapan ko.
I went home devastated. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Charm is my comfort zone.
"Itutuloy mo pa rin ang plano mo kay Charm? Dale, yung mag-ina mo nasa hospital." Liam said in frustration.
Hindi ko na ito pinansin pa. Sasabihin ko rin naman kay Charm ang lahat eh. Naghahanap lang ako ng timing.
I planned us a trip to Tagaytay. Malapit lang kasi ang Tagaytay. Balak kong turuan lumangoy si Charm. I want her to conquer her fears, so that she could conquer the mistake I did.
"Mom, please? Kahit ngayon lang magpanggap kayo ni Daddy na maayos." Pakiusap ko kay Mommy.
"Anak, kailan mo ba sasabihin kay Charm ang katotohanan?" Dad calmly asked me.
I closed my eyes, "Tomorrow...on our first anniversary."
Tangina, ang saya naman ng regalo ko kay Charm. Isang, 'Charm, may anak na ako.'
"My goodness, Danilo! Stop tolerating your child!" Mom hissed.
Iniwan ko na sila at saka sinundo si Charm. Kinakabahan ako. Tinantya ko na wala si Liam ngayon sa bahay. I want to make things slow.
Alam ko na nasa hospital si Liam ngayon. Mukhang close sila ni Jane. Kung si Liam na lang ang naging ama ng anak ni Jane, sana wala akong problema!
I fisted my hands when I saw Liam. Nakita ko ang pagtataka sa mukha ni Charm. God, please.
But things don't work out the way we want it to be.
Halos manghina ako ng makita si Charm na umiiyak sa harapan ko. Charm, please don't cry. I love you more than anything else in this world.
But I don't have the courage to said that. I let her walk away.
"Fuck!" Napatingin ako kay Liam habang mabilis na ibinaba ang kanyang cellphone. "The doctors are fucking reviving your son!"
I cried my heart out as I saw Jane crying alone. Tangina! Hindi namin ito ginusto pero pinanindigan niya ang bata.
Nakita ko ang mga doctor at nurses na pinapalibutan ang anak ko. God, he's too young. Please, don't get him too soon.
Iyon na lang ang dinasal ko sa isipan. My tears just won't stop falling.
"Jade, I'm sorry ha, kung kailan namin mag-away ng Daddy mo. But, don't worry baby ha? Hindi man ako mahal ng Daddy mo pero ikaw...mahal na mahal ka niya. Wag mo na itong uulitin ha?" My heart breaks after hearing Jane.
Pinagmasdan ko lang ang mag-ina ko bago tahimik na umuwi sa amin. Nakita kong nag-aaway sina Mommy and Daddy.
I sat down on the ground and cried my heart out. Naramdaman ko na lang ang yakap sa akin ng mga magulang ko.
"I don't want to lose, Charm. I...fucking don't want to lose her but...i'm losing my child. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko." I said in between my sobs.
"Your son needs a father. Choose what your heart wants, anak." Mom said.
I love Charm. But my son needs me the most.